Digging the matching outfits/style, that's pretty good.
And thank you for your comments for every chapter, they make me smile!
Pardon me? You mean "You need to learn that blackmail only works on those who DON'T want to be blackmailed."
Once in a month, maybe month and a half.
I'm afraid that phrase doesn't quite work in English.
Actually the phrase works, and delivers its intended meaning pretty well. It doesn't mean it targets the people who are getting off on the stuff, it means that you cannot blackmail someone who won't let themselves be controlled, or too cowardly to do or say anything about it and thus act submissive. Not all blackmail attempts in the world are successful, some people resist it and even turn the tables on their opponent. Jade is one such person.
It doesn't deliver it well, because it's not immediately clear what is meant by it.
Just as a film can't be appreciated on a smudged and scratched projector, a story can't captivate a reader with unclear or incorrect language. Anybody that wants the game to succeed should care about the writing being clear and correct. This problem snaps the reader out of their immersion in the story like few others and is appropriately the frequent target of criticism of VNs. I'm not attacking Kind Nightmares, I'm trying to help the language of the game communicate their excellent characters.
That's not really an appropriate analogy.
As clear and understandable as the dev can, which has overall been fine so far. The phrase used was correct, but it isn't as clear as it could/should be.
I still to this day have a grudge against a particular translation made in the Hexagon that didn't care to consider that it would be read in the whole of French speaking countrys. More than TWENY years later. It got me right out of the story I was reading. I would argue that while the specific section of text discussed here had me pause a bit in my reading to make sure I understood KN's intent clearly, it is not as bad as my previous experience.
Your non English autocorrect is showing.
(That is why I rarely post while at work.)Hey there. I'm the English proofreader for the game. That phrase gave me a small pause when I first read it, but it did make sense to me. It could have been phrased better, perhaps, but I felt that the line fit Jade's character well. Keep in mind that Jade was under pressure to come up with a response, very quickly. Also, while she is a very smart person, she didn't get to finish her primary education, so on a few occasions, I've left some imperfections in her dialogue to reflect that. It wouldn't feel natural if Jade spoke like an English professor, when she was pulled out of school at 16.
