VN Ren'Py Abandoned Intimate Brothel [v0.7.1] [Modzso]

3.00 star(s) 4 Votes

Modzso

Nephle on board!
Game Developer
Feb 26, 2018
103
56
You have other games? I actually really like this game, I'd like to see your other shit work *sarcasm*
I had one earlier. It was just a test and it was really hmm okay call it shitty. :D - but really it is! I'm also proud of it somewhere, or not. :D
I just used that to get into the basics of coding. But somehow the game made it on to a few adult game collector pages and then here we are. :D
 

Modzso

Nephle on board!
Game Developer
Feb 26, 2018
103
56
I guess this isn’t really a «dating» game to be fair. I wouldn’t mind being her sex toy either though :ROFLMAO:
yeah not really a dating game. :giggle: But what if she will become your sex toy? Or let the player decide? :unsure:
 

raska42

Member
Feb 16, 2018
250
278
Tried the game. Not sure I saw everything, will comment on what I did see though. Overall, needs some work, but could end up being a decent game in the future. As a warning, my comments tend to focus on what doesn't work, rather than what does.

Thoughts

The good
Art - style for the first MC is good, the other two are a bit lacking in detail though
Potential - Definitely a lot of room for this to expand
Clothing system - could use some work still, but it's a decent start. Advancing it more towards the VH style where low purity allows the MC to wear less would help (didn't hit whatever the max for neg purity is, so may not have hit this if it's in there). You also may want to consider that players will likely use whichever pieces they like the looks of, any may want to consider colors based on having outfit pieces mixed togather. right now, most don't look great mixed.

The bad
Title - Doesn't make sense. At all. This is a sandbox game that has the option to whore out the character, it doesn't even have a brothel in it (brothel implies the main purpose of the building is whoring, the tavern seems like a tavern that happens to have a room for whoring. Brothel also implies multiple whores, which there aren't), and the sex scenes in the tavern are very transaction-like, not intimate.
Content - Very little variation. Repeatable quests have nearly no variation (just an item name change for doing the exact same thing every time, would benifit if there were a few differnt styles they cycled though), jobs need more scenes
Purity system - While the idea of the system is clearly based off VH, your choices of when to raise/lower it are kinda bizzare. Using the waitress job as an example, doesn't make sense that remembering to lock the bathroom door raises purity.
Pregnancy - is a core aspect, required for a decent chunk of the content. It's kinda a hit or miss kink, and people prefer knowing about those before going in. May want to advertise it as one of the main things (instead of calling it a dating/brothel game, since it isn't either)
Balance - doesn't exist. If you want gold, mining or whoring are the only options (quests with no variety that give nearly no money are worse then no quests). More on this is the next bit
Dungeons - I honestly have no idea if there's anything other than random enemies in there. If that's all there is, you may want to reduce the difficulty if you want that to be an actual way of making money. By the time your gear is at the point that you can kill more than two enemies a run, the 15 gold you get for killing one isn't worth bothering with. I didn't get to that point, and mining was making me 250-400+ a day if I went pure gems. The 30 gold I could get for killing two enemies didn't matter.


The ugly
Description - described as a dating and brothel game. You can't date anyone. There isn't a brothel in the game. It's a sandbox style game with a pregnancy system.
Localization - You need a native english speaker to proofread. It's playable, but parts are pretty cringe-worthy. "You justifieth your panties". Uhhh... what? Guessing your mean fix or rearrange, not sure where you got the word justifieth (which is Shakespearean era English, which is 400 years or so out of date, and means justify which would mean she's explaining the logic of her wearing panties to someone?). That was by far the worst bit, but there's smaller stuff everywhere.
No sell all option - You need this. Clicking 100+ times to sell and get through the sell dialog is beyond annoying. This is easily an issue if you're mining and don't sell for a few days.

Possible bugs
Breast animations - (working as a whore, breast option for 'other') lack nipples
Text skipping - randomly breaks
Waitress job - high desire blocks events

Suggestions for improvement -
Quests - described at taking hours each time. Hours... as in more than 1. So if you grab both town quests, that's 20 hours if you never fail (assuming that hours only means 2, not more). Early on you're character is going to be out there for what you're describing as days, which is NOT reflected by the day counter. May want to change the text, or go with my next suggestion
Quests - chance of failure - there is absolutely no point in having the option to fail the way things are currently set up. Also no point in making the character click the button multiple times. You're there, you're getting the stuff. Why waste the player's time?
Fairie's temple - the pixy there (not a fairy?) has no wings. May want to give her some. You also may want to change the name to Pixie's temple (or change the pixie to a fairy). Pixies and Faries generally look similar, but generally are not the same thing (and Faeries generally refer to anything fae).
Work on balance - you have this set up as a sandbox style game, but you're forcing the character into whoring or mining. Making other styles of play actually work would improve the game a lot
Whore job - the whore job is essentially the same thing every time, but that's kinda expected with whoring. Still, adding in the chance of the client not being satified and refusing to pay, the client getting violent, the client just being an ass and refusing to pay, thing's like that could all improve it
Waitress job - has 2 variants. Could easily have more, and since a chunk of players will find it more interesting then the whore job, you'll have some players sticking to that instead of whoring. Also may want to change up the NPC offering a drink scene to use the random NPC generation that the whore job uses, rather than have the same exact npc do it every time.
Under construction areas - hide those from the user. They annoy the player when clicked on, and if the player is used to ignoring areas they'll likely not realize there's content there when you do add it. If you don't want to hide them, but a big X over them to show that they aren't usable.
Side room - Have a separate door for it. Very easy to miss-click and get sent in there, which is really annoying if pregnancy isn't your thing and is content you're ignoring
 

Modzso

Nephle on board!
Game Developer
Feb 26, 2018
103
56
Tried the game. Not sure I saw everything, will comment on what I did see though. Overall, needs some work, but could end up being a decent game in the future. As a warning, my comments tend to focus on what doesn't work, rather than what does.

Thoughts

The good
Art - style for the first MC is good, the other two are a bit lacking in detail though
Potential - Definitely a lot of room for this to expand
Clothing system - could use some work still, but it's a decent start. Advancing it more towards the VH style where low purity allows the MC to wear less would help (didn't hit whatever the max for neg purity is, so may not have hit this if it's in there). You also may want to consider that players will likely use whichever pieces they like the looks of, any may want to consider colors based on having outfit pieces mixed togather. right now, most don't look great mixed.

The bad
Title - Doesn't make sense. At all. This is a sandbox game that has the option to whore out the character, it doesn't even have a brothel in it (brothel implies the main purpose of the building is whoring, the tavern seems like a tavern that happens to have a room for whoring. Brothel also implies multiple whores, which there aren't), and the sex scenes in the tavern are very transaction-like, not intimate.
Content - Very little variation. Repeatable quests have nearly no variation (just an item name change for doing the exact same thing every time, would benifit if there were a few differnt styles they cycled though), jobs need more scenes
Purity system - While the idea of the system is clearly based off VH, your choices of when to raise/lower it are kinda bizzare. Using the waitress job as an example, doesn't make sense that remembering to lock the bathroom door raises purity.
Pregnancy - is a core aspect, required for a decent chunk of the content. It's kinda a hit or miss kink, and people prefer knowing about those before going in. May want to advertise it as one of the main things (instead of calling it a dating/brothel game, since it isn't either)
Balance - doesn't exist. If you want gold, mining or whoring are the only options (quests with no variety that give nearly no money are worse then no quests). More on this is the next bit
Dungeons - I honestly have no idea if there's anything other than random enemies in there. If that's all there is, you may want to reduce the difficulty if you want that to be an actual way of making money. By the time your gear is at the point that you can kill more than two enemies a run, the 15 gold you get for killing one isn't worth bothering with. I didn't get to that point, and mining was making me 250-400+ a day if I went pure gems. The 30 gold I could get for killing two enemies didn't matter.


The ugly
Description - described as a dating and brothel game. You can't date anyone. There isn't a brothel in the game. It's a sandbox style game with a pregnancy system.
Localization - You need a native english speaker to proofread. It's playable, but parts are pretty cringe-worthy. "You justifieth your panties". Uhhh... what? Guessing your mean fix or rearrange, not sure where you got the word justifieth (which is Shakespearean era English, which is 400 years or so out of date, and means justify which would mean she's explaining the logic of her wearing panties to someone?). That was by far the worst bit, but there's smaller stuff everywhere.
No sell all option - You need this. Clicking 100+ times to sell and get through the sell dialog is beyond annoying. This is easily an issue if you're mining and don't sell for a few days.

Possible bugs
Breast animations - (working as a whore, breast option for 'other') lack nipples
Text skipping - randomly breaks
Waitress job - high desire blocks events

Suggestions for improvement -
Quests - described at taking hours each time. Hours... as in more than 1. So if you grab both town quests, that's 20 hours if you never fail (assuming that hours only means 2, not more). Early on you're character is going to be out there for what you're describing as days, which is NOT reflected by the day counter. May want to change the text, or go with my next suggestion
Quests - chance of failure - there is absolutely no point in having the option to fail the way things are currently set up. Also no point in making the character click the button multiple times. You're there, you're getting the stuff. Why waste the player's time?
Fairie's temple - the pixy there (not a fairy?) has no wings. May want to give her some. You also may want to change the name to Pixie's temple (or change the pixie to a fairy). Pixies and Faries generally look similar, but generally are not the same thing (and Faeries generally refer to anything fae).
Work on balance - you have this set up as a sandbox style game, but you're forcing the character into whoring or mining. Making other styles of play actually work would improve the game a lot
Purity system - Yes it needs to be a bit more clear. And still working on it.
Whore job - the whore job is essentially the same thing every time, but that's kinda expected with whoring. Still, adding in the chance of the client not being satified and refusing to pay, the client getting violent, the client just being an ass and refusing to pay, thing's like that could all improve it
Waitress job - has 2 variants. Could easily have more, and since a chunk of players will find it more interesting then the whore job, you'll have some players sticking to that instead of whoring. Also may want to change up the NPC offering a drink scene to use the random NPC generation that the whore job uses, rather than have the same exact npc do it every time.
Under construction areas - hide those from the user. They annoy the player when clicked on, and if the player is used to ignoring areas they'll likely not realize there's content there when you do add it. If you don't want to hide them, but a big X over them to show that they aren't usable.
Side room - Have a separate door for it. Very easy to miss-click and get sent in there, which is really annoying if pregnancy isn't your thing and is content you're ignoring
Thank you very much for the detailed feedback, and I will use all of the aspects you suggested in it. :)
I already know many thing you mentioned above, and I think a lot about what would be a good solution for them.
Just a few examples:
Description - Okay I will try to fix that part somehow in the first post. :)
Localization - Yes I'm not a native English speaker so that makes the thing more complicated because I mostly think in my mother tongue and try to translate it to English. - and I think this is a mistake -
Yes the text needs much more improvements that is so true. Unfortunately a person offered me a help to rewrite the texts if I send it to him. I sent him the first part and he is gone... never heard from him again. :(
Selling part - The coding is ready for the gems selling part, Like as you mentioned if you want to sell gems, it will sell all of the gems at once, not only one by one.
For the Waitress job - yeah random npc appears for every time you do it is a good idea. I had the same idea long ago, but no one has ever suggested any change in that part.
Side room - and together with this the leave the house button will gain a better option. something like: if you click to leave another option shows up with 3 circles - 1 to leave house 1 to go side room and 1 to do not leave. And of course with signs or images for them, far apart from each other, in the middle of the picture. So it will be clear and cannot be miss-clicked.
Fairie's temple - It just a name, nothing more or nothing less, and it is just a ruin, a remnant of the Fairies kingdom. It was the fairies temple before the war, right now it is an abandoned ruins and the Fairies are long gone.
Whore job - Okay this was many times on my redrawing board. How to change it? What would make clients even more alive?
I planned to make some kind of a satisfaction system, what you have to rise or... I don't know what or how to do with it. You mentioned the random client refuse to pay, getting violent etc. what is a simple thing and I think it is a good start. :) But it have to be totally random? And can occur with any clients?
But a satisfaction system or something like that would be good I guess.
Quests - Yes i already thought about it. I would take out the "fail" part of the quests, and change it so the player can do it with a single click and get all the needed items. :)

Okay I finished and I hope it is understandable. :)
I may have missed something, but my final words here is I could use and also accept any advice how to change things. I accept any suggestions in private conversation. And if you - or anybody else - have a developed idea what you would share with me, I gonna accept it happily. :)
 

raska42

Member
Feb 16, 2018
250
278
Modzso

For the whoring option, those were just basic ideas that could be implemented easily. If you're planning on doing a satisfaction system, then definitely move violence or not paying towards the unsatisfied end of things. Still, you may want to keep a random (low) chance of the client not paying, since the world doesn't seem to have a heavy police/guard presence there would probably be people who would think that they can get away with not paying, especially if whoring is illegal in the game and it can't be reported to anyone (don't think you said if it was or not anywhere).

If you want a basic satisfaction system, you've pretty much already got everything you need there. Just give points based on which actions the npc likes (1 point per star in their likes), and they need a random number between 10-15 points to be satisfied. Keep that number hidden, it the player does actions worth that many points (or more) the npc is satisfied. If they do almost enough (1-3 away) the NPC pays a lower amount, if they don't do nearly enough, then the npc pays nothing, gets angry, pays very little, complains to the tavern owner, or some other bad outcome. You'll probably want to change it a bit from what I suggested to make things work the way YOU want them to, but it's a simple system you can use as a start.
 
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ejmuerte

Well-Known Member
Sep 24, 2018
1,207
715
Howdy!
Erm... working on it. :giggle:
I have to do lots of changes in the coding, and sadly I can only work on it on weekends. - I know this is my personal problem :ROFLMAO: - but doing my best.
okie dokie then we'll wait for the updates
 
3.00 star(s) 4 Votes