Men never pretended that women don't have libido. A quick glance at Lilith and succubi being much more well-known than incubi is enough to shatter that misconception. When representing adultery, it's a vast majority a woman that is represented. Both because it was shameful for them... and because it's what their biology dictates. It's the reason behind hidden ovulation and the lack of obvious heat. That way, no one could know if the baby was born from another man or not, not even the woman herself. That let women be with a provider who would secure their offspring's future while potentially having the better genes of the "alpha". It's the reason why every culture has a stigma against women cheating: because men hate it, and because it happened. No smoke without fire.
Concerning the pleasure, it was often the case that eunuchs had affairs with the women in those harems. But you are correct in that women crave pleasure even more than men. Again, that's because their ancestors tried to sneakily sleep around, and it was passed down through evolution. Those were the females with the most offspring, thus with the best odds of survival.
As for humans not being just animals, that's kinda true... but there are stricter limits than you might imagine there. Being hungry, being attracted to the opposite sex, yearning for happiness and fulfillment... all of those are biological. We can indeed exert some self-control but it's pretty limited in the grand scheme of things. We're not going to have orgies in the street, but when you close the doors... well, look at college parties. Or the athletes during the Olympics. It varies from individual to individual, but "post-nut clarity" is a thing for a reason. Biology is extremely powerful. Going against it will reward you with negative feelings (that's the reason why they exist in fact).
For the women willing to share part, I stand by what I said. What happens when a man finds out his woman cheated on her? Usually, a fight breaks out. Either with the woman or with the guy she cheated on him with. It can even lead to murder. Men do NOT take kindly to that at all. Women do not to like it either, but they have an easier time living with it and accepting it. Again, look at the modern dating scene. Girls will chase the guys who have many options. It attracts them because it means the sisterhood has approved of him. Of course, they'd rather have him all to themselves. But let's say the guy is a celebrity. She'd sooner accept him seeing other women to leaving him (... divorce giving her half his stuff notwithstanding, it's fairly recent and now that it's an option, we're seeing many more divorces, unsurprisingly enough). There are plenty enough examples here. And no, I do speak to women. That's why I know this. My mom was more mad (more than usual at least...) at my dad for withdrawing his ressources than she was at him cheating on her. In fact, she herself said she wouldn't have divorced him had he not done that. And indeed, until he tried to withdraw his money, they were still together. Heard other similar anecdotes around me, and there are examples in history and modern days. How much proof does one need?
That said, I agree with you that harems of dozens of women simply don't work out. It's way too many, and it'll result in vicious infighting amongst them. With the man's attention and ressources divided among so many of them, they've got to be at the very top. But see, they're still accepting that there will be other women, even if they get to the top... which further proves my point that they're far more willing to share (if he's a winner) than men are. The reverse situation is pretty much unheard of.
Also, if you think that poor men don't dream of marrying rich women and accessing their wealth, you are SERIOUSLY deluding yourself. It happens plenty of times. But men don't get as much bad press when they pull that sort of shit.
You'll need to send me examples for that. I hardly ever hear of rich women taking in poor guys... except sugar mommies and those old ladies traveling abroad to poorer countries to find a fit and healthy young man because they can't find one back home anymore to their old age.
Historical examples aren't really that good here, because women being treated as people and equals is a relatively new thing in the grand scheme of things. Some parts of the world still don't treat women as anything other than property. It's a relatively recent development for technology to even things out between men and women, while for the majority of history, men had a distinct physical advantage, and as they say, the victors wrote what they wanted.
Women weren't being treated as people??? I'm sorry, what??? Who do you think survived the Titanic, men or women? Answer is mostly children and women, because the men were expected to trade their lives for them. Poetry was invented to court women. Courting women wouldn't have existed had they been "objects". And they'd have been used as meat shields during war if they had been viewed so poorly. We certainly wouldn't have had so many sayings supporting mothers either (insulting one's mother was considered to be utterly despicable). And there wouldn't have been duels to the death to ask for a fair lady's hand in marriage. Females wouldn't have been called "the fairer sex" either.
I could go on, but that lie needs to die right now. Sure, they were abducted into harems or as concubines... but what about the men during those same times? They were enslaved to work to death or outright killed. It wasn't just women that were oppressed back then. It was everyone but the rich.
Women have always been protected by men, whereas men have always been the sacrificial pawns. As for the "equal" part... women don't want to be equals. Ask women if they should split the bill for dinner, for the house, for tuition, for everything... Ask the Ukrainian women if they regret not staying behind with the men to fight and die for their country. Funny how no one bat an eye at women being allowed to leave while men weren't. Anyway, I think you'll be surprised to hear they don't regret not staying there to die for their country. Because women have always and always will be the ones responsible for the survival of our species. That's why 90%+ of work deaths are males. Women don't take risky jobs. They value security, stability and survival. It's their role. As such, they'll want to be protected and society will want them to be protected. That means they need people to protect them, bodyguards. Since when have bodyguards been equal to the people they're protecting? It's absurd. You can't have 2 bodyguards protecting one another. And in exchange for offering his life to protect and provide for his woman, the woman in turn will follow his lead because he's ready to die for her. "I love you to death" was a quite litteral saying.
But let's assume things have somehow changed. Ask women if they'd want to be with a stay-at-home husband. All his life, he'll never work and only take care of the kids and will follow her lead, essentially reversing the roles. Aside from a very tiny minority of women, most wouldn't want that. "Hypergamy" is a term you'll want to research. It basically means they'll want a man who's either at their level or above, so that they can step up. Stepping up automatically denies the "equals" argument. It does not however mean one is above the other. It means the roles are different. When there's a fire, you call a firefighter, not a doctor. But when someone gets sick, you call the doctor, not the firefighter. They're certainly not equal, but it doesn't mean one is above the other.
...
At any rate, we got side-tracked just a bit. This was about people complaining about men getting cucked waaay more than women getting cucked. Biology supports this, psychology supports this, history supports this, modern day evidence supports this...