- Mar 29, 2020
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- Mar 29, 2020
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Damn, only about 600 mb for a rpg game. This really is in the baby stages. How many sex scenes are there?
- Mar 4, 2019
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Not yet. But they will. There is a patreon picture of one of them...
- Oct 17, 2019
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You know most men join the military because they were poor. So for him to not join because his family was living in poverty is a pretty sad excuse. He could of joined to help his family by sending his paychecks from the royal guard to his family. Instead he is hunting old and sick rabbits lol.
- Jan 13, 2020
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In medieval, you get nothing by being conscripted. So it's reasonable to avoid military and staying alive.
When I read " At the age of 25, every man is required to join the Royal army. It's the law." and saw the Transformation tag, I thought for sure that the MC was going to get turned into a woman. That would be one way to get out of the army...
- Jun 3, 2017
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Hahahasome nonsens to me...
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now, i m out
Absolutely accurate.
It's so badly written that it should have "parody" tag.
It should be rewritten a bit...
Jack is a 24-year-old guy, but due to hunger and poverty, he looks at least a decade older. Jack lives with his mother and two sisters. At the age of 25, every man is required to join the Royal army. It's the law. He can't leave his family because of their poverty and their utter inability to work or do anything to contribute to the family budget by some reasonable amount. From an early age, he hunts animals to sell them at the fair. Jack's family survives on the income from hunting, which is really low because Jack is a terrible hunter. Jack only hunts old, or sick animals and therefore he is never able to make any good money. Jack lives on a small farm, but he is often not at home because, due to his inability to hunt effectively. Jack has been chasing an old deer for two weeks. It's good that the deer was old and sick, because if he hadn't he would never have caught him. This hunt has been going on for almost a month (during which Jack probably ate only wild berries and tree bark). Jack is sure that he has finally found a huge old deer. This deer can be sold profitably, market for meat and skin from old and sick animals has really flourished this year
. This means that soon he will return home to his family, provided that the meat and skin do not rot before he return home (it is quite a long way). Twenty years ago, his mother had left the Kingdom's capital and settled in the wilderness. He doesn't know why his mother decided to leave the Royal city, because (for the last 20 years) he still forgets to ask her about it. However, he suspected that it was all because of his father, because his mother is hot, so the blame cannot be on her side. Jack didn't know anything about his father, despite the fact that he was already 4 years old when they left town.Jack silly adventure
A few more funny observations ( no spoilers, only stuff from intro):
They left town 20 years ago and his younger sister is 18 years old...
Someone is really bad at math, or his mother has found a new way to make money
His best friend is a domesticated wolf, which is almost 17 years old, despite the fact that wolves usually live only 6-8 years.
Last edited:
- Jun 3, 2017
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RichPervert
Thank you for noticing.
I have read more than 30 books from the world of Forgotten realms, so I guess I can be called an expert
You should also know that there is no such thing as a untrue criticism (unless you choose to lie intentionally) because it is based on each person's personal opinion. And if you want more detailed constructive critique, just say so and I'll give it to you.
1) Irregularities regarding age, sisters, mother and travel.
The player can't see into your head. If you have more detailed information ready that you will reveal later, that's great, but you shouldn't start the game by providing information that doesn't fit with reality (unless you have additional information that the protagonist knows but refused to share). Instead of providing specific information, you could start with something like:
"I have two sisters, one younger and one older. We left town when I was little."
The same amount of information without burdensome numbers that just raises questions
You can provide more details later.
2) "He doesn't know why his mother decided to leave the Royal city and she refuses to talk about that time."
Easy fix
3) His wolf is hardly believable.
He lives more than twice as long as normal wolves. I have no idea if this is a supernatural being, but I think an experienced hunter should know that something like this is not normal. "I can't believe we've been together for 17 years. An ordinary wolf would have been dead by now, but Chucky is still full of strength. I suspect he's not just some common wolf. "
4) "Jack only hunts old, or sick animals. Jack has been chasing an old deer for two weeks. This hunt has been going on for almost a month."
I'm sorry, but this is just pure nonsense.
The main hero is desperate, has little time and wants to save his family from starvation. There are many other ways to make money more efficiently than chasing a deer in the woods for weeks. Fishing? Felling wood? Mining? It almost seems that he wants his family died of starvation... He has his own wolf. He could catch countless of hares and pheasants. Meat for the butcher and skins for the tanner. If you insist on that stupid thing with an old deer, you should at least reduce his hunting time to one week. Then at least he won't look like a completely incompetent hunter. But the sentence "Jack only hunts old, or sick animals." should be removed.
5) Half-drow...
Are you aware of the fact that all half-drow have perfectly normal human eyes and silver or white hair?
Your world, your rules. But if you borrow races, names, and characters from other worlds, at least do it right and don't embarrass them.
P.S.
I live next to a massive forest and I know a few things about hunting.
And I also know that if someone in the fantasy world wants to catch a deer or a roe deer, the most sensible thing is to find a place where animals go to drink, leave the wolf at home and lurk until it appears. You certainly wouldn't wait a month for success.
Thank you for noticing.
I have read more than 30 books from the world of Forgotten realms, so I guess I can be called an expert
You should also know that there is no such thing as a untrue criticism (unless you choose to lie intentionally) because it is based on each person's personal opinion. And if you want more detailed constructive critique, just say so and I'll give it to you.
1) Irregularities regarding age, sisters, mother and travel.
The player can't see into your head. If you have more detailed information ready that you will reveal later, that's great, but you shouldn't start the game by providing information that doesn't fit with reality (unless you have additional information that the protagonist knows but refused to share). Instead of providing specific information, you could start with something like:
"I have two sisters, one younger and one older. We left town when I was little."
The same amount of information without burdensome numbers that just raises questions
You can provide more details later.
2) "He doesn't know why his mother decided to leave the Royal city and she refuses to talk about that time."
Easy fix
3) His wolf is hardly believable.
He lives more than twice as long as normal wolves. I have no idea if this is a supernatural being, but I think an experienced hunter should know that something like this is not normal. "I can't believe we've been together for 17 years. An ordinary wolf would have been dead by now, but Chucky is still full of strength. I suspect he's not just some common wolf. "
4) "Jack only hunts old, or sick animals. Jack has been chasing an old deer for two weeks. This hunt has been going on for almost a month."
I'm sorry, but this is just pure nonsense.
The main hero is desperate, has little time and wants to save his family from starvation. There are many other ways to make money more efficiently than chasing a deer in the woods for weeks. Fishing? Felling wood? Mining? It almost seems that he wants his family died of starvation... He has his own wolf. He could catch countless of hares and pheasants. Meat for the butcher and skins for the tanner. If you insist on that stupid thing with an old deer, you should at least reduce his hunting time to one week. Then at least he won't look like a completely incompetent hunter. But the sentence "Jack only hunts old, or sick animals." should be removed.
5) Half-drow...
Are you aware of the fact that all half-drow have perfectly normal human eyes and silver or white hair?
Your world, your rules. But if you borrow races, names, and characters from other worlds, at least do it right and don't embarrass them.
P.S.
I live next to a massive forest and I know a few things about hunting.
And I also know that if someone in the fantasy world wants to catch a deer or a roe deer, the most sensible thing is to find a place where animals go to drink, leave the wolf at home and lurk until it appears. You certainly wouldn't wait a month for success.
guess i m the one you so called "expert"..I really don't want to insult anybody))) But I could criticize every point written by you and the previous "expert". If they left 20 years ago, do you think they sat there for 20 years and didn't go anywhere? Oh, God... Hunting - you can see none of you "experts" were hunting. For you would know that animals do not come out to you and do not wait for you to shoot them with a rifle, let alone with a bow. And even more so when you smell a wolf, or in Chucky's case, a hybrid. Usually there's a gamekeeper on the hunt who lures the animals to be shot by you. Plus it's a world that I made up (even though some characters are taken from my favorite universe), which means I do whatever I want. I get it... Many people think that if the mother of the hero sleeps with someone, it's NTR. But it's not NTR. If the heroes moved to a farm, it doesn't mean they're outcasts, and they're not in other villages.
P.S. - I welcome adequate criticism, not criticism of "couch experts". I hope I haven't hurt anyone's tender feelings. Although the Game of Thrones had critics, not that my "underrated game"...
Sometimes I think, because of people like you, that I shouldn't have shared the game, I shouldn't have released it, I should have thrown it in Steam, and Japanese shops, put a $5 price on it and watch my bank account replenish...
My personal therapist will clearly be unhappy with my breakdown...
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GL with ya game
- Jun 3, 2017
- 736
- 1,359
RichPervert
I see that this is definitely your first game.
Otherwise, you would know that there is no point in arguing with critics
If you think that criticism is unwarranted, you can provide a response in which you add some new information.
But definitely don't start quarrel like: "I'm a developer, so I'm right and you're not."
The fact remains that there are quite a few things in your game that are (at the very least) vague or a little silly.
This is evidenced by comments on this topic. If you have to explain it to us, it means that it was not written clearly or logically.
P.S.
People do not eat meat from sick and old animals. You would have to be really desperate to do something like that. Such a level of insane hunger that you don't care if you die only if you somehow fill that awful emptiness. You definitely wouldn't make "good money" as you try to claim in the game. Plus, I doubt Jack is the only hunter in the area. Who would be his buyers? Beggars? They don't have much money. If you have money, you buy normal goods and if you do not have money, then Jack can't sell you anything.
The whole "sick and old" idea is simply stupid.
I see that this is definitely your first game.
Otherwise, you would know that there is no point in arguing with critics
If you think that criticism is unwarranted, you can provide a response in which you add some new information.
But definitely don't start quarrel like: "I'm a developer, so I'm right and you're not."
The fact remains that there are quite a few things in your game that are (at the very least) vague or a little silly.
This is evidenced by comments on this topic. If you have to explain it to us, it means that it was not written clearly or logically.
P.S.
People do not eat meat from sick and old animals. You would have to be really desperate to do something like that. Such a level of insane hunger that you don't care if you die only if you somehow fill that awful emptiness. You definitely wouldn't make "good money" as you try to claim in the game. Plus, I doubt Jack is the only hunter in the area. Who would be his buyers? Beggars? They don't have much money. If you have money, you buy normal goods and if you do not have money, then Jack can't sell you anything.
The whole "sick and old" idea is simply stupid.
its only a game not real life get grip give the dev a break if you do not like do not play it any worse then others games where you fuck mother,sisters,aunts and cousins that do happen it real life
- Jun 3, 2017
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I see that you do not fully understand what criticism is
We criticize because we care. By pointing out mistakes, we give developers the opportunity to learn from them and continue to grow. Novice developers need the toughest criticism, otherwise they will never be able to do anything really good. No one became a master overnight. We are all destined to make a lot of mistakes.
It reminds me of an interview with Stephen King.
Someone asked him: How to write a good story?
His answer was: First you have to write a lot of bad ones.
- Mar 13, 2019
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If you invent a story, anything is yours to decide. If you pick ideas from already done stories, you are somewhat bound to the lore that is already known. We simply know what to expect if we hear somebody is an orc.
Most of what is called fantasy today was invented by JRR Tolkien. That guy was a genius. He created races, history, religion, languages, alphabet... anything around of his Middle Erath. Almost anything fantasy today is either copied or heavily leaned on his invention.
There is nothing wrong to change things, but that needs to be explained or people will not get it.
My personal opinion is that I don't care too much. But deviation need explanation. If you don't want to go around that, invent your own style. But keep the story around it small. Stick to your story, but be aware of walls of text (the same reason I stop now).
Most of what is called fantasy today was invented by JRR Tolkien. That guy was a genius. He created races, history, religion, languages, alphabet... anything around of his Middle Erath. Almost anything fantasy today is either copied or heavily leaned on his invention.
There is nothing wrong to change things, but that needs to be explained or people will not get it.
My personal opinion is that I don't care too much. But deviation need explanation. If you don't want to go around that, invent your own style. But keep the story around it small. Stick to your story, but be aware of walls of text (the same reason I stop now).
- Aug 4, 2017
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I would add to darth_hiruma comments, those times you either were off doing your own thing, joined what essentially would be a gang (constantly fighting other ganga) or the military. And the military (just like today) only accepted men depending on how they performed during basic training, if the CO's felt they did well those men would go into advanced training and be combat soldiers the others would be given shitty jobs. And really with those shitty jobs you'd be better off just going on your own path.