2.90 star(s) 25 Votes

ClockworkGnome

Active Member
Sep 18, 2021
752
2,000
Wow, the dead dad is nothing special anymore, but that the MC is the one who killed him, that's a whole new level!
Just wait - someday the wheel is going to turn so much that we get a game where the dad kills the MC and we play as their ghost!
 
May 27, 2017
711
3,029
Purely as an FYI, as a title for a game, book etc, it's generally accepted that each word in the title should begin with a capital, so this should be Kings New Life. Some may also say that Kings should be spelt as King's, but with it being used as a name the use of the apostrophe is immaterial and either spelling is fine. :unsure:
Actually, "Kings New Life" is still inappropriate in this case, as it implies that the game is about the new life of many kings (which would still be grammatically wrong). Since King refers to the MC's codename, "King's New Life" is the only grammatically correct title. King is a noun (name/title) and it's about his new life, so it's a possessive noun, therefore an apostrophe is necessary.

I hate being a grammar nazi (because people dislike being corrected, as that would mean they're wrong) but the title is the main thing that should be correct. I can forgive a bad Overview or even incorrect English as that can be improved with time, but the title is the first thing that people see, it's the most important thing to get right.

Just my critique from the previews: Models are overused, especially the MC's and I see 2 girls with similar hairstyles, hair colour & style don't match skin-tone & body type, lighting needs some work, and renders could use sharpening. Overall, seems like a generic foray into a trite genre, so you really need something unique to stand out (hot models/good story/top-notch visuals).

Incest+Harem is my favourite mix of genres, I play everything with these tags fully knowing how clichéd they are, so I will give this a fair try, but please make an effort to improve the language at the very least. In my opinion, there can never be enough Incest VNs, but there has to be at least one thing right/good. I see the potential in this, I hope you improve upon your work, best of luck KingoftheJungle009! (y)
 

Joshua Tree

Conversation Conqueror
Jul 10, 2017
6,158
6,567
Tbh the title sounds like the new life of a dog... My uncle actually got a German Shepherd named king -)
 

lordfridge9

Emperor of Universe 7
Donor
Aug 24, 2017
3,272
3,915
The description in the overview suggests this gonna be batshit crazy. And I'm here for it
 

KingoftheJungle009

Member
Game Developer
Oct 20, 2021
296
756
Actually, "Kings New Life" is still inappropriate in this case, as it implies that the game is about the new life of many kings (which would still be grammatically wrong). Since King refers to the MC's codename, "King's New Life" is the only grammatically correct title. King is a noun (name/title) and it's about his new life, so it's a possessive noun, therefore an apostrophe is necessary.

I hate being a grammar nazi (because people dislike being corrected, as that would mean they're wrong) but the title is the main thing that should be correct. I can forgive a bad Overview or even incorrect English as that can be improved with time, but the title is the first thing that people see, it's the most important thing to get right.

Just my critique from the previews: Models are overused, especially the MC's and I see 2 girls with similar hairstyles, hair colour & style don't match skin-tone & body type, lighting needs some work, and renders could use sharpening. Overall, seems like a generic foray into a trite genre, so you really need something unique to stand out (hot models/good story/top-notch visuals).

Incest+Harem is my favourite mix of genres, I play everything with these tags fully knowing how clichéd they are, so I will give this a fair try, but please make an effort to improve the language at the very least. In my opinion, there can never be enough Incest VNs, but there has to be at least one thing right/good. I see the potential in this, I hope you improve upon your work, best of luck KingoftheJungle009! (y)
Thanks for your critique. Don't worry about correcting me about my grammar. I am not native English speaker so mistakes are bound to happen. I am planning rerelease initial release with grammatically corrected dialogues, better lighting and more renders. This is only start of the game and it's used to set the tone of it and to meet some character. I have a lot in mind for story. I am planning to consult my future patrons about models... It's still a work in progress but there is a plan to make it a lot, a lot better.
 

GrizzlyUK

Active Member
Oct 21, 2019
555
543
Actually, "Kings New Life" is still inappropriate in this case, as it implies that the game is about the new life of many kings (which would still be grammatically wrong). Since King refers to the MC's codename, "King's New Life" is the only grammatically correct title. King is a noun (name/title) and it's about his new life, so it's a possessive noun, therefore an apostrophe is necessary.

I hate being a grammar nazi (because people dislike being corrected, as that would mean they're wrong) but the title is the main thing that should be correct. I can forgive a bad Overview or even incorrect English as that can be improved with time, but the title is the first thing that people see, it's the most important thing to get right.

Just my critique from the previews: Models are overused, especially the MC's and I see 2 girls with similar hairstyles, hair colour & style don't match skin-tone & body type, lighting needs some work, and renders could use sharpening. Overall, seems like a generic foray into a trite genre, so you really need something unique to stand out (hot models/good story/top-notch visuals).

Incest+Harem is my favourite mix of genres, I play everything with these tags fully knowing how clichéd they are, so I will give this a fair try, but please make an effort to improve the language at the very least. In my opinion, there can never be enough Incest VNs, but there has to be at least one thing right/good. I see the potential in this, I hope you improve upon your work, best of luck KingoftheJungle009! (y)
Now there we have a fairly good example of just how hard English can be for non-native English speakers to learn. There are so many "rules" about how words should be spelt, differences in how nouns are used, proper nouns, possessive nouns, possessive pronouns, adjectives, when and where to use punctuation, then there's those wonderful homophones such as 'their', 'they're' and 'there' (all three are pronounced the exact same way but each has a different meaning).

Just to clarify what I based my explanation on: both King's Cross, London and Kings Cross, Sydney are proper nouns. Whether the apostrophe is there or not is neither right nor wrong because both are simply names.

It's been an awfully long time since I studied English Language and English Literature and I suspect I've probably forgotten a heck of a lot in the intervening years, but even so I'm not afraid to apologise when I do get something wrong! ;) Though to be honest I'm just too damn old now to really care one way or another! :ROFLMAO: :cool:
 
  • Red Heart
Reactions: KingoftheJungle009
May 27, 2017
711
3,029
Now there we have a fairly good example of just how hard English can be for non-native English speakers to learn. There are so many "rules" about how words should be spelt, differences in how nouns are used, proper nouns, possessive nouns, possessive pronouns, adjectives, when and where to use punctuation, then there's those wonderful homophones such as 'their', 'they're' and 'there' (all three are pronounced the exact same way but each has a different meaning).

Just to clarify what I based my explanation on: both King's Cross, London and Kings Cross, Sydney are proper nouns. Whether the apostrophe is there or not is neither right nor wrong because both are simply names.

It's been an awfully long time since I studied English Language and English Literature and I suspect I've probably forgotten a heck of a lot in the intervening years, but even so I'm not afraid to apologise when I do get something wrong! ;) Though to be honest I'm just too damn old now to really care one way or another! :ROFLMAO: :cool:
I totally get you, I've been speaking mainly English since my birth, but growing up in a non-English speaking country and speaking 3 other languages, really doesn't give me the time nor opportunities to further hone my proficiency. Despite being fairly adept, at times I'm still baffled at how difficult it can be to grasp the sheer complexity of English grammar. Not to mention the bizarre adoption and changes in American English. I don't even remember all the grammar terminology, I just go by whatever looks and sounds right in my head. Reading a lot in my younger days and consuming English media has definitely helped.

I'm not trying to argue here, but circling back to the apostrophe, when it comes to proper nouns, "King's Cross" and "Kings Cross" are both correct as they could mean the crossing was named after a King or Kings have crossed here. But when it's a possessive noun, as is the case in this VN's title, "King's New Life" is the only grammatically correct title. I understand where you're coming from and I feel like I'm reiterating, but I commented initially to only make a correction, while you were generally right about proper nouns, you missed the mark on it being a possessive noun, where apostrophes are imperative.

Being in a position to understand how difficult English can be, I am lenient on people who do not speak it primarily. Like I mentioned before, bad Overviews and some shoddy English in-game is forgivable, but a grammatically incorrect title is where I draw the line. Titles are the first thing that people see, and it's what they remember the VN by, if someone can't even get that much right, then it's not looking very hopeful. I think this is the first time I put on my grammar nazi hat and brandished my badge, and god do I feel awful, I bet my English teacher would be proud! :LOL:
 

Rindarion

Member
Apr 26, 2019
263
428
Thanks for your critique. Don't worry about correcting me about my grammar. I am not native English speaker so mistakes are bound to happen. I am planning rerelease initial release with grammatically corrected dialogues, better lighting and more renders. This is only start of the game and it's used to set the tone of it and to meet some character. I have a lot in mind for story. I am planning to consult my future patrons about models... It's still a work in progress but there is a plan to make it a lot, a lot better.
So we should basically treat this release as an beta? That would actually make sense if you ask me.
 

rKnight

Devoted Member
Jun 12, 2017
9,781
128,818
It's a decent start to the project, the characters are generally likeable and distinct, the writing isn't that bad, but isn't enough to make up for a plot, yet, it needs some direction. (y)

The protag kills his own father,
Sister: "They told me enough, YOU killed our father!"
*use incest patch when playing!*

MC: "No, little bitch, I am your FATHER!"


EDIT:
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
:rolleyes::D
 
Last edited:
2.90 star(s) 25 Votes