It seems like it could be a really interesting story, but it does have many issues. Grammar (definitely needs punctuation), translation, and dialogue in general definitely needs some work. It all feels rather robotic and doesn't flow too well. The premise is nice though, but you have to throw any thoughts of realism out the window lol.
The FOV is a bit off-putting as well. Everything is so stretched out. Definitely needs some fixing or something, as its rather headache inducing. And the sizes of things are off. Like the money in the case he opens are bite size instead of regular money size. Kitchen looks tiny when he is cooking dinner (to the point that the mother's head clips into the upper cabinets).
On another note, why even release all these demos if you are planning on reworking the game? You just released this demo, and are planning a third demo, and then going to just rework it all. It doesn't make much sense to do all that if you are planning on just remaking it all any ways. It's wasted effort since we'll have to start all over once it's remade. It would be better to work on the remake instead of releasing more demos that are going to get tossed any ways.
Either way, it has potential, but really needs some work. Probably not for me, as I'm not a fan of forced sex stuff without any choices, but others may like it at least. I'd definitely recommend just working on the remake instead of popping out more demos as it would be better in the long run. But still wish you the best of luck with your project and thanks.