I didnt followed the whole discussion and just wait for an answer to my post, but i never had any problems with telling or writing people that i am lesbian. I just dont care what others think in this context. Those who cannot accept it are worthless because i dont need intolerant people around me. Job-related i have to be a little more careful, because i work only with girls and woman, so i cant tell it everyone (dont need fake-complaints or reputational damage), but thats the only exception.
Nobody has to talk about anything or hide anything...its all your choice, even with torture...ok, if you cum while being tortured you dont need to mention your fetish anymore ^^