AL.d
Engaged Member
- Sep 26, 2016
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The dialogue you posted practically shows why I don't believe they can heal together. Their very mindsets drag each other back down. This whole monologue is sweet poison for a narcissist. It's enabling. So even if they both genuinely want to change, they are still enabling each other's worst aspects. Even Lacey said at some point that if she told her therapist what they were up to, she'd be on her ass. And then you have the orbiters who are also enabling the toxicity for their own reasons.I sort of agree with the realistic context, yet not all paths are carved equally, no journey is the same.
I cannot honestly tell you which is the best solution, since separation brought suicidal thoughts and self destruction in both of them.
They didn't have a support structure, well maybe Mc more than Lacey, since he found Anna (which still abandoned him), Lacey seems to have draw the short straw there and found a literal monster as support.
Lacey is the same and yet she isn't, I would not dismiss anyone's path to redemption or self improvement.
Will she stop being a narcissist? no, but she can learn how to control herself and channel her thoughts and emotions differently.
I am still very angry at her manipulation attempts, but I am also amazed at her willingness to atone.
A true narcissist would not go through that self reflection, because she is obviously hurting and regretful.
Anyone can see that and if they don't I think their pride or preconceptions are stopping them from looking at obvious facts.
This does not make her innocent, she is still a manipulative bitch, she diminished MC emotions and feelings for a long time, she did all she did in college.
But she is stepping forward.
I have less hopes for MC, he is written as a witness more than a character, and a lousy one at that.
Hopefully we will see some improvement or character growth because at this moment we have literally 0 growth aside from a "revelation" that I think we are supposed to take as a deep concept:
MC "I finally fucking get it."
MC "I finally understand."
"She's afraid of losing my love. More specifically, no longer being my 'most loved'."
"I'm afraid of losing the illusion of control I have over her."
"Control I only have, because she let's me have it."
"That's what she was trying to get me to see."
"I could never lose her, because she's never going to take back that control she's given me."
"No matter what she does or what I let or even make her do, I'll never lose control of her."
"And that's why I don't have to be afraid."
"That's what being the whale shark means in her little story."
"No matter where I take us."
"She's the remora that will never let go."
"As long as I don't leave her, she belongs to me."
"Because she wants to belong to me."
"She's already experienced it all."
"And, in the end, none of it was more alluring for her, than being in my life."
Which is essentially internalized abuse and rationalization.
Not that some of the things that he says here are wrong imo, but stuff like
"She's already experienced it all."
"And, in the end, none of it was more alluring for her, than being in my life."
Really makes him sound like a shit stained doormat with no self respect.
You were the second choice to it all, you were suicidal while she was having fun, she came back when she decided she had enough.
But yeah now the fool thinks that he is control, when in the story this is shown is beyond me, so how can this assumption be made is also beyond my probably limited capabilities.
Trust is built slowly and over time and can be lost pretty quickly.
Yet I wouldn't say he cannot trust her at all, I would trust Lacey act 2 to some extent.
Dios puts it beautifully here
I don't know what and how many endings this has planned. But a bittersweet one where they both fully acknowledge what they are doing and they decide to separate without any cliffs or overdoses would work. And then as the final scene after a long time skip, it shows them older, accomplished but single, accidentally meeting each other. And just cuts there. A bit of cliche but it would count as happy ending.
But it's not just her issues the problem. See above. It's a feedback loop.Yes they can and it doesn't clash with my point 2. Even if it does require a separation to achieve it, it is possible. My point 2 is only about current events, not what is possible in the future. Currently, Lacey is toxic to MC, so I think objectively, it would be best for MC and her to separate. In the future, maybe therapy gets her to the point to where she can manage it well enough for them to have a healthy and happy relationship.
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