VN Ren'Py Love & Jealousy [Act 3] [Professor Amethyst Games]

[Saphfire]

I absolutely get what you mean, especially in a "closed and controlled" environment with people you are already very familiar with.

So...if that was the case, how do explain Lacey looking at MC and never having any of these feelings?
Or Jeanette?
Or Mia?

You know the person they are supposedly already very connected and VERY attracted to?

Not even a speck of affection.

Honestly curious.

Can´t you just, at least one time, just agree that different people have different affects of being drugged?
Is that so hard to understand?

 

[Nimbus Commando]

i hope mc never comes back. but most likely he will get all lost and confused, therapist will be called by him or whoever finds him and he will be taken in. kelly as his legal authority will find out and do as she promised and take care of lacey. so lacey wont kill herself even though MC did in fact leave her, he didnt it a dissociative state and not truly "himself". i know sad, be better if she died.

anyway

its funny how hard the dev tries to make a mystery about things, but aside from who is the monster. no one really seems to care about the evil forces in the background manipulating. its like okay yeah why are they doing it, but really thinking about it, its so fucking stupid and with every woman around MC fucking him over, who cares. seriously, aside from how the hidden faction directly effects the girls who MC might fuck, nothing about them is actually interesting. story was better and made more sense when people just wanted to own lacey for themselves.

dev is trying really hard to build up this hidden faction, but i believe by the time their big reveal comes, itll feel so stupid and unimportant to everything the readers cared about that no matter what, most people are going to hate it. at this point act 3 has confirmed that ive wasted my time reading this far. lacey did lacey shit, Mia got a playmate to compete with thats it.

Honestly, by the time they do reveal themselves, the MC might have already went postal considering how dog shit his so-called friends and whore wife are.

 

[FickenPlayen]

I absolutely get what you mean, especially in a "closed and controlled" environment with people you are already very familiar with.

So...if that was the case, how do explain Lacey looking at MC and never having any of these feelings?
Or Jeanette?
Or Mia?

You know the person they are supposedly already very connected and VERY attracted to?

Not even a speck of affection.

Honestly curious.

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[gilgamesh9]

So can some one please finally explain how to get the ONE ntr scene that we supposedly got?

 

[DeviantFun]

Can´t you just, at least one time, just agree that different people have different affects of being drugged?
Is that so hard to understand?

I do not understand why you have to be so aggressive all of a sudden, we always had meaningful and engaging conversations even in private, so I am surprised by your change of heart.

As for the matter of the topic.
Drugs have specific effects, which could vary a bit in terms of perception, but not being completely different from person to person.

The dopamine release for example, the effects on the brain and so on are always the same, else we wouldn't be able to use them medically with effectiveness.
You will not find that K is a stimulant for some and a tranquilizer for others.
You will instead find that ex has been dubbed the "love drug" for ages.

I understand and appreciate if you have low or no experience with drugs, it is definitely better that it is so.
But please do not try to push wrongful information to justify your point of view (which is still valued, thanks).

Now, lets say this is a magic drug that exists only in the game world.

So this drug lowers inhibitions, get you very excited and gets you distracted and have visual effects.

Then why the effect is not consistant even for the same character?

If you want to say: "this specific drug had an effect that lowered inhibitions and gets you hot and bothered BUT only if MC is not involved".

You see that you are pushing for something a bit nonsensical?

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I see that for your point of view, believe me I really understand the challenges of being a solo dev, I also do not expect perfection at all, but I am fully aware of his ability and I know (on very good authority) that he used a crutch there.
I listed all the issues I saw and I am fully ok on using my suspension of disbelief for, it is a novel, it is fine.

But things need to be consistent at least in the same scene, don't you think?

Does it make him an awful author? Obviously not, else I wouldn't support him neither financially nor in other (very) small ways.

Do I think that with some constructive criticism about some stuff that he wrote he could even improve on his already good writing? Obviously yes.

 

[NewGuy2022]

I absolutely get what you mean, especially in a "closed and controlled" environment with people you are already very familiar with.

So...if that was the case, how do explain Lacey looking at MC and never having any of these feelings?
Or Jeanette?
Or Mia?

You know the person they are supposedly already very connected and VERY attracted to?

Not even a speck of affection.

Honestly curious.

True. "En vino veritas" they say with respect to alcohol; I wonder what the saying should be about ecstasy or ketamine?

Again, genuinely curious about that.

 

[DeviantFun]

True. "En vino veritas" they say with respect to alcohol; I wonder what the saying should be about ecstasy or ketamine?

Again, genuinely curious about that.

The problem is that, and maybe I am a bit presumptious here because I am not in his mind, the intention of the dev was not showing that Mia, Jeanette and Lacey are not attracted or interested in MC.

So that creates a bit of a conondrum.

 

[Saphfire]

I do not understand why you have to be so aggressive all of a sudden, we always had meaningful and engaging conversations even in private, so I am surprised by your change of heart.

As for the matter of the topic.
Drugs have specific effects, which could vary a bit in terms of perception, but not being completely different from person to person.

The dopamine release for example, the effects on the brain and so on are always the same, else we wouldn't be able to use them medically with effectiveness.
You will not find that K is a stimulant for some and a tranquilizer for others.

But lets say this is a magic drug that exists only in the game world.

So this drug lowers inhibitions, get you very excited and gets you distracted and have visual effects.

Then why the effect is not consistant even for the same character?

If you want to say: "this specific drug had an effect that lowered inhibitions and gets you hot and bothered BUT only if MC is not involved".

You see that you are pushing for something a bit nonsensical?



I see that for your point of view, believe me I really understand the challenges of being a solo dev, I also do not expect perfection at all, but I am fully aware of his ability and I know (on very good authority) that he used a crutch there.
I listed all the issues I saw and I am fully ok on using my suspension of disbelief for, it is a novel, it is fine.

But things need to be consistent at least in the same scene, don't you think?

Does it make him an awful author? Obviously not, else I wouldn't support him neither financially nor in other (very) small ways.

Do I think that with some constructive criticism about some stuff that he wrote he could even improve on his already good writing? Obviously yes.

I am not aggressive at all, i just want to point out that our opinions here are diametral to each other (is that he correct english translation?)
I get it, you have had YOUR experiences with x and others have had DIFFERENT expieriences. There is no need to convince
that only one of them is valid. Please just accept it.

 

[funnythings3785]

The problem is that, and maybe I am a bit presumptious here because I am not in his mind, the intention of the dev was not showing that Mia, Jeanette and Lacey are not attracted or interested in MC.

So that creates a bit of a conondrum.

Seems like it would have been easier to an extent to understand if everyone was in on this (it would complicate other things, yes), but at the least if they were all "in on it" maybe buying into Abby being some all knowing guru they thought could help, it would then have at least explained most of the girls day. To an extent, I could buy that... somewhat and write off the idiocy of it all as "yet another dumb idea that left egg on their faces and yet another issue of having to deal with the damage it did to the MC".

It wouldn't solve the recovery day, that is just... well... heartless and absolutely inconsiderate in so many ways by them. I would have rather bought the idea of Lacey trying to "make up for it" in her usual way by pushing all the girls to have an orgy with him on the last day. Still... inconsiderate in many ways, but along the lines of how Lacey thinks.

 

[AL.d]

The problem is that, and maybe I am a bit presumptious here because I am not in his mind, the intention of the dev was not showing that Mia, Jeanette and Lacey are not attracted or interested in MC.

So that creates a bit of a conondrum.

It's because that whole day was focused on Lacey and MC's reaction to her trumpling on everything yet again. Which creates drama.

The other two were collateral damage in order to achieve the goal, because they are less important narratively. Actually just Jeanette, Mia was kinda protected by somewhat being the voice of reason, even under the supposed influence.

 

[FickenPlayen]

So can some one please finally explain how to get the ONE ntr scene that we supposedly got?

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I do not understand why you have to be so aggressive all of a sudden, we always had meaningful and engaging conversations even in private, so I am surprised by your change of heart.

As for the matter of the topic.
Drugs have specific effects, which could vary a bit in terms of perception, but not being completely different from person to person.

The dopamine release for example, the effects on the brain and so on are always the same, else we wouldn't be able to use them medically with effectiveness.
You will not find that K is a stimulant for some and a tranquilizer for others.

But lets say this is a magic drug that exists only in the game world.

So this drug lowers inhibitions, get you very excited and gets you distracted and have visual effects.

Then why the effect is not consistant even for the same character?

If you want to say: "this specific drug had an effect that lowered inhibitions and gets you hot and bothered BUT only if MC is not involved".

You see that you are pushing for something a bit nonsensical?



I see that for your point of view, believe me I really understand the challenges of being a solo dev, I also do not expect perfection at all, but I am fully aware of his ability and I know (on very good authority) that he used a crutch there.
I listed all the issues I saw and I am fully ok on using my suspension of disbelief for, it is a novel, it is fine.

But things need to be consistent at least in the same scene, don't you think?

Does it make him an awful author? Obviously not, else I wouldn't support him neither financially nor in other (very) small ways.

Do I think that with some constructive criticism about some stuff that he wrote he could even improve on his already good writing? Obviously yes.

I would, again, caution about making generalizations about stuff like this. Weed makes most people chill and relaxed, but I knew a guy it made (even more) violent and aggressive (than he already was. I absolutely hated that dude, but that's a different story for a different day.) I also know someone with ADHD who often took coke to chill him out. It's rare, but it happens. In fact, that's exactly how amphetamines are prescribed: it makes normal people hyperactive, but it's prescribed to hyperactive people specifically to help them chill out. This obviously doesn't really address your (valid, imo) criticisms with the effect of molly on the characters, but I just wanted to point out that some drugs DO have different, and sometimes opposite, effects on individuals. Ecstasy can definitely be one of those drugs.

For the rest, I agree, constructive criticism is helpful, and I'm glad you're supporting him financially. I haven't really paid attention to exactly who is giving what criticism with what tone, so this isn't directed at you by any means... but let's just say a lot of the criticism here isn't exactly constructive, and very little of it is empathetic. Some of it is downright preposterous. I find much of them to be childish and entitled, as it tends to be in many of the f95zone comment sections. Especially for non-vanilla games. ESPECIALLY for NTR games. It's why I very rarely participate in discussions here, but I was so excited about this game and sad that it's over (for now) that I couldn't help myself from commenting. That said, I truly hope the author doesn't read this board.

Anyway, I'm not here to think much about whether he used a crutch or not, or the inner workings of his development process, or to pick apart or analyze the thing. For me, this story is an emotional journey I am happy to take with the author, and I simply wanted to express how spectacular I think the whole project is and how grateful I am that it exists. I just downloaded it for a quick fap, and here I am days later, unable to get it out of my head. The entirety of my free time between work, social obligations, and sleep has been dedicated to this game. I've never been this emotionally invested in a VN before. I think it's something truly special.

 

[DeviantFun]

I am not aggressive at all, i just want to point out that our opinions here are diametral to each other (is that he correct english translation?)
I get it, you have had YOUR experiences with x and others have had DIFFERENT expieriences. There is no need to convince
that only one of them is valid. Please just accept it.

I am really glad I misunderstood then!

But I welcome all points of view, what I will not accept is things that do not make sense even in universe and will discuss them.

Drugs are not extremely subjective, or at least the subjective part would be if you like a specific one or not, I could never deal with speed for example as I felt anxious and I did not like that, I had friends that would be constantly on it as it did not bother them as much, but the base effect was the same, if they felt nervous they felt nervous with everyone.

You see that I am not injecting or pushing MY POV but a very objective description of what drugs do?

And Saph, come on, I did not see you complain when I fought tooth and nail to defend Lacey against her detractors, which there are still many of.

And I will still do that in the future, in fact, I am very unhappy with all the toilet talk that is going around.

You know I am all about the material, if it is written then it is what I am gonna talk about!

 

[gilgamesh9]

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I would, again, caution about making generalizations about stuff like this. Weed makes most people chill and relaxed, but I knew a guy it made (even more) violent and aggressive (than he already was. I absolutely hated that dude, but that's a different story for a different day.) I also know someone with ADHD who often took coke to chill him out. It's rare, but it happens. In fact, that's exactly how amphetamines are prescribed: it makes normal people hyperactive, but it's prescribed to hyperactive people specifically to help them chill out. This obviously doesn't really address your (valid, imo) criticisms with the effect of molly on the characters, but I just wanted to point out that some drugs DO have different, and sometimes opposite, effects on individuals. Ecstasy can definitely be one of those drugs.

For the rest, I agree, constructive criticism is helpful, and I'm glad you're supporting him financially. I haven't really paid attention to exactly who is giving what criticism with what tone, so this isn't directed at you by any means... but let's just say a lot of the criticism here isn't exactly constructive, and very little of it is empathetic. Some of it is downright preposterous. I find much of them to be childish and entitled, as it tends to be in many of the f95zone comment sections. Especially for non-vanilla games. ESPECIALLY for NTR games. It's why I very rarely participate in discussions here, but I was so excited about this game and sad that it's over (for now) that I couldn't help myself from commenting. That said, I truly hope the author doesn't read this board.

Anyway, I'm not here to think much about whether he used a crutch or not, or the inner workings of his development process, or to pick apart or analyze the thing. For me, this story is an emotional journey I am happy to take with the author, and I simply wanted to express how spectacular I think the whole project is and how grateful I am that it exists. I just downloaded it for a quick fap, and here I am days later, unable to get it out of my head. The entirety of my free time between work, social obligations, and sleep has been dedicated to this game. I've never been this emotionally invested in a VN before. I think it's something truly special.

Oh your not lying at all, I feel myself being affected by this game but that's what makes it a great game. So just some bdsm and whatnot no actually sex was shown? Or do you have to do the library scene to get the spicy club bit?

 

[NewGuy2022]

The problem is that, and maybe I am a bit presumptious here because I am not in his mind, the intention of the dev was not showing that Mia, Jeanette and Lacey are not attracted or interested in MC.

So that creates a bit of a conondrum.

I'm not disagreeing with you. But since the question came up, I'm wondering what behaviors are considered common for those two drugs (understanding that some variance is expected)...

And for those who might not get what I'm saying: do these drugs tend to release "the real you" as alcohol does (lowering inhibitions) or would they actually induce something else?

 

[FickenPlayen]

I am really glad I misunderstood then!

But I welcome all points of view, what I will not accept is things that do not make sense even in universe and will discuss them.

Drugs are not extremely subjective, or at least the subjective part would be if you like a specific one or not, I could never deal with speed for example as I felt anxious and I did not like that, I had friends that would be constantly on it as it did not bother them as much, but the base effect was the same, if they felt nervous they felt nervous with everyone.

You see that I am not injecting or pushing MY POV but a very objective description of what drugs do?

And Saph, come on, I did not see you complain when I fought tooth and nail to defend Lacey against her detractors, which there are still many of.

And I will still do that in the future, in fact, I am very unhappy with all the toilet talk that is going around.

You know I am all about the material, if it is written then it is what I am gonna talk about!

I still think you're making effects of drugs more objective than they are. I am a VERY anxious person with a diagnosed panic disorder, and the entire reason I got into speed was because it got me out of my head and made me feel invincible. Despite physically agitating me, it took away my anxiety almost completely because it stopped me from second-guessing everything I say and do. On speed, I just... said and did them without thinking. This sounds completely opposite of your experience, which is fine, but it goes directly against the description you are defining as objective.

I think you may be a bit off-base with your belief in the objectivity of these drugs. Or, to put it a different way, the physical ways these drugs affect people are the same - those are chemical and mechanical facts - but the way those physical effects manifest in behavior, thought, feelings, mood, etc. can vary significantly.

Glad to hear you're defending Lacey though! She deserves it.

 

[Badboll]

wow this game never ceases to be one giant emotional rollercoaster, and not for a good reason, it's just trauma porn. At some point you'd think they'd just stop collecting mental problems, but I guess the dev just wants them to have it all.
I just can't look away though. so that tells me something about myslelf I guess. These two MC's are so frustrating.

 

[FickenPlayen]

I'm not disagreeing with you. But since the question came up, I'm wondering what behaviors are considered common for those two drugs (understanding that some variance is expected)...

And for those who might not get what I'm saying: do these drugs tend to release "the real you" as alcohol does (lowering inhibitions) or would they actually induce something else?

I know you weren't talking to me, and I can only speak from my experiences, but for me... ecstasy definitely did not release "the real me." What ecstasy did for me was make me feel so impossibly and irrevocably connected to, in love with, the people around me that I can't even begin to describe it. The world was nothing but unbridled love from top to bottom. Best feeling I've ever felt by a country mile, and holy christ, the pure and distilled horniness was nothing I've felt at any other time.

While I loved what it turned the world into while I was on it, it didn't "bring out the real me." Maybe it played off my need for love and connection, but as far as my behavior was concerned, it was not anything like alcohol. Not a truth serum. Such wildly different experiences that it doesn't make sense to think of X like that. X is the most mind-altering drug I've ever taken, more so than shrooms and acid even. For me, it was more like being transported to an entirely different reality. Ecstasy flattened the world into one dimension: love. I had to stop because the crash afterwards when reality came flooding back with all its messy complications was absolute Hell on Earth.

Never did K, so I can't comment on that. But hoooo, X... what a drug.

 

[DeviantFun]

I would, again, caution about making generalizations about stuff like this. Weed makes most people chill and relaxed, but I knew a guy it made (even more) violent and aggressive (than he already was. I absolutely hated that dude, but that's a different story for a different day.) I also know someone with ADHD who often took coke to chill him out. It's rare, but it happens. In fact, that's exactly how amphetamines are prescribed: it makes normal people hyperactive, but it's prescribed to hyperactive people specifically to help them chill out. This obviously doesn't really address your (valid, imo) criticisms with the effect of molly on the characters, but I just wanted to point out that some drugs DO have different, and sometimes opposite, effects on individuals. Ecstasy can definitely be one of those drugs.

Sure, but I think you are nitpicking on my point, and I concede that there are different uses, but what amphetamines do is exactly the same thing as with everyone else, with the difference that ADHD people usually already have (memory help me out here) dopamine issues and amphetamines help them with that, as they do with everyone else.

K is used for helping with depression symptoms, but doesn't work with everyone in the long term for example, it is all matter of brain chemicals.

If we want to move out of pure brain chemicals I had different experiences with ecstacy myself, mostly when I mixed it with alcohol, in fact I still have a pretty vivid and VERY unpleasant memory about a specific day from more than 20 years ago.

So I agree with you on that, and I am glad you agree with my point on ex.

For the rest, I agree, constructive criticism is helpful, and I'm glad you're supporting him financially. I haven't really paid attention to exactly who is giving what criticism with what tone, so this isn't directed at you by any means... but let's just say a lot of the criticism here isn't exactly constructive, and very little of it is empathetic. Some of it is downright preposterous. I find much of them to be childish and entitled, as it tends to be in many of the f95zone comment sections. Especially for non-vanilla games. ESPECIALLY for NTR games. It's why I very rarely participate in discussions here, but I was so excited about this game and sad that it's over (for now) that I couldn't help myself from commenting. That said, I truly hope the author doesn't read this board.

I agree with you, some comments, especially about Lacey are not...great (death wishes etc).

I actually made a post I sort of regretted and subsequentely deleted, since I thought I was being overtly harsh, I obviously didn't change my mind over the topics I presented.

I think the dev actually reads the board, but this is just my speculation since many topics brought here then find a way in the story, and I hope he can understand that a post full of unsubstanciated hatred for a character might just be an emotional reaction from a reader and not an attack on him personally.

Me? I try to post helpful stuff (and too MANY quotes from the material), and I hope it is received as such.

Anyway, I'm not here to think much about whether he used a crutch or not, or the inner workings of his development process, or to pick apart or analyze the thing. For me, this story is an emotional journey I am happy to take with the author, and I simply wanted to express how spectacular I think the whole project is and how grateful I am that it exists. I just downloaded it for a quick fap, and here I am days later, unable to get it out of my head. The entirety of my free time between work, social obligations, and sleep has been dedicated to this game. I've never been this emotionally invested in a VN before. I think it's something truly special.

You see, we think very alike, but with everything or anyone that you would be affectionate to, you would want them to shine as brightly as they can.
And then my analyzing mind kicks in, and I analyze things that I like, I do not analyze things I do not care about.

Same as you, L&J is the only novel I actually enjoy, and I am also on the journey, it still doesn't stop me to want to see greater heights (tbh some were already achieved).

I still think you're making effects of drugs more objective than they are. I am a VERY anxious person with a diagnosed panic disorder, and the entire reason I got into speed was because it got me out of my head and made me feel invincible. Despite physically agitating me, it took away my anxiety almost completely because it stopped me from second-guessing everything I say and do. On speed, I just... said and did them without thinking. This sounds completely opposite of your experience, which is fine, but it goes directly against the description you are defining as objective.

I think you may be a bit off-base with your belief in the objectivity of these drugs. Or, to put it a different way, the physical ways these drugs affect people are the same - those are chemical and mechanical facts - but the way those physical effects manifest in behavior, thought, feelings, mood, etc. can vary significantly.

Glad to hear you're defending Lacey though! She deserves it.

I addressed what you mention at the top.

And I clarified my thoughts about what I tried to convey which is exactly what you mention.

For example if in universe we say that ex lowers inhibitions etc, it is still very silly that the lowered inhibitions are only relative to everyone else but MC.
But you agreed with this point, so lets leave it at that.

Lacey is my favourite character, she needs to be held accountable, but people need to fucking read the material and try to understand her.
In act 2 I wrote a LOT about her growth and how she was trying her damn best and still fell flat (think KW she made a mess out of it by choosing the wrong topics, trusting the wrong people and setting the wrong rules).

Her trauma does not excuse every shitty thing that she does, she does need to face the music.

But the TOTAL lack of empathy is quite surreal.

In fact my high criticism of Lacey in this act is that she was sadly forced in the drama, while there were already many many hooks to create the drama and have the same fights over and over (professors, the still unattented topic of the dick naming/toothbrushes/damian/porn/internet videos).

I'll leave you with a silly thought, MC and Lacey are looking for "firsts" (and things to share between them, Lacey dialogue in act 1) it was the first plane trip for their anniversary, I cannot see her simply sitting with the girls and mostly ignoring MC.
If I read Lacey even in act 1, she would be snuggled to him with a fucking smile beamed on her face (the drama can still be injected or be present, I am not advocating for a fairytale).

This is why I am trying to bring to attention to the author and to anyone else that love this novel these flaws, forced drama is easier to write, but really deforms the characters that have already been written.

I'm not disagreeing with you. But since the question came up, I'm wondering what behaviors are considered common for those two drugs (understanding that some variance is expected)...

And for those who might not get what I'm saying: do these drugs tend to release "the real you" as alcohol does (lowering inhibitions) or would they actually induce something else?

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I think Ficken gave a very good answer there, his english is definitely better than mine.
I only have to disagree on the mind altering part, and this is where a lot of the subjectiveness comes in, shrooms were way more mind altering for me (there are various kinds).

Ex does not make you bring out your real self, actually I do not think even alcohol brings your real self out.
Inhibitions are definitely a part of you.

I only took ex at clubs and raves, and I would dance a lot without stopping and touch a lot, heck the dancing would be mostly rubbing and touching each other.
I always have a hard time to explain, but for me ex was a VERY tactile experience, I would hug and kiss a lot, I loved the feeling of even running my own hands on my body, can I describe it as tingling? (I apologize for my piss poor english).

I felt extremely happy, very close to people, the colors were "bright" and "vivid".

If you are interesed, since I have a tendency to ramble on, I can also talk about the bad part of it.

 

[FickenPlayen]

I addressed what you mention at the top.

And I clarified my thoughts about what I tried to convey which is exactly what you mention.

For example if in universe we say that ex lowers inhibitions etc, it is still very silly that the lowered inhibitions are only relative to everyone else but MC.
But you agreed with this point, so lets leave it at that.

...

I'll leave you with a silly thought, MC and Lacey are looking for "firsts" (and things to share between them, Lacey dialogue in act 1) it was the first plane trip for their anniversary, I cannot see her simply sitting with the girls and mostly ignoring MC.
If I read Lacey even in act 1, she would be snuggled to him with a fucking smile beamed on her face (the drama can still be injected or be present, I am not advocating for a fairytale).

This is why I am trying to bring to attention to the author and to anyone else that love this novel these flaws, forced drama is easier to write, but really deforms the characters that have already been written.

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[NewGuy2022]

I know you weren't talking to me, and I can only speak from my experiences, but for me... ecstasy definitely did not release "the real me." What ecstasy did for me was make me feel so impossibly and irrevocably connected to, in love with, the people around me that I can't even begin to describe it. The world was nothing but unbridled love from top to bottom. Best feeling I've ever felt by a country mile, and holy christ, the pure and distilled horniness was nothing I've felt at any other time.

While I loved what it turned the world into while I was on it, it didn't "bring out the real me." Maybe it played off my need for love and connection, but as far as my behavior was concerned, it was not anything like alcohol. Not a truth serum. Such wildly different experiences that it doesn't make sense to think of X like that. X is the most mind-altering drug I've ever taken, more so than shrooms and acid even. For me, it was more like being transported to an entirely different reality. Ecstasy flattened the world into one dimension: love. I had to stop because the crash afterwards when reality came flooding back with all its messy complications was absolute Hell on Earth.

Never did K, so I can't comment on that. But hoooo, X... what a drug.

Thanks for that. I have no personal experience with either drug so don't know how to interpret what I see in the story. Way too much personal experience with alcohol but that's another matter.

The other (unrelated) thing I'm wondering about is the ending. I wonder why

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Each of these would mean she is thinking something different. As the reader, understanding the answer would help me decide for myself whether she truly has shown growth and improvement or whether she still is selfish and thinking only of herself.

The haters can hate on me all they want for daring to ask the question but, if only for me, it would help me clarify her current status in the relationship and on her path to recovery.