VN Ren'Py Love & Jealousy [Act 3] [Professor Amethyst Games]

[WannabeShady90]

This is right. Actually I think it becomes even clearer in the final scene of buying Isaac's house (in which, incidentally, Gristle tells an even bigger lie than the white lie Lacey told)

She doesn't want to CHANGE him she wants him to understand what he is: a sadist, a wife beater and man who hates women. She wants Dr. Jekyl to let Mr. Hyde come out

L "I am your girl."
L "Don't be afraid to remind me of that from time to time."
L "And I ain't talking about buying me flowers."
L "I'm talking about buying me a five finger back hand."
. . .
L "So I'm asking you. Please. Intervene."
L "Tell me I'm fucking up. So I can stop doing it."
L "And if I don't, then it ceases to be your problem."
L "Then I'm just being a raging bitch and you should probably have it out with me."
. . .
L "And this version of me needs to be verbally smacked around a little."
L "Please help me be what you need me to be."
L "I'm begging you."
MC "Okay. I can do that."
MC "At least I hope I can."
L "You can. You definitely can."
L "You just need to learn to unchain that part of your personality."
. . .

L "Destroy them or make sure you hurt them as you go down."
L "You are an executive at a successful company."
L "You have a fucking hot wife."
. . .

And let's be real DeviantFun is she isn't masochist how do you explain the fact that she loves it when her husband hurts her during sex and her ultimate fantasy is be killed by him during sex while he whispers "I love you" ?

This seem impossible to dispute. I mean THE reason she see this side of him and the other harem members don't is that she has sex with her sadist and they do not:

Choking during sex scene:

MC "You spread your legs like a useless slut."
MC "You let a man fuck you and cum inside your cunt."
L "I am your cocksleeve to do with as you please."
MC "Why the fuck are you still smiling?!"
L "Because I've never been so happy."
L "You want to possess me."
L "And I want to be your possession."
hide jealousymc04 with dissolve
"I squeeze harder as I continue to fuck her."
show jealousymc05 with dissolve
"With each thrust her breasts bounce back and forth."
"She struggles to breathe."
"But still her smile is unshakeable."
MC "Tell me you love me."
"She struggles to speak clearly."
L "I love you."
"I cum inside of her again."
"I can feel it pouring out of her full vagina with each thrust."
MC "Tell me you belong to me."
L "I belong to you."
MC "Tell me that you're mine."
L "I am yours."
MC "Did you cum again you selfish little girl?"
L "I've cum five times."
L "(gasp)"
L "I've never felt so good."
"I feel overwhelmed."
"It feels so good."
L "(struggling breaths)"
"My anger is so strong."
"My love for her so complete."
MC "I'd rather kill you then lose you."
L "I'd rather die then be let go."
MC "WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?!"
L "(gasp)"
L "Only you."
MC "Why are you still so god damn happy?!"
L "Because I'm your wife."
"As soon as those words leave her lips I cum again for the last time tonight."
MC "You feel so good to cum inside."
"I loosen my grip enough to let her breathe easier."
L "I love you."
MC "I love you too goddammit."
L "I love you."
MC "(emotional) I love you too."
L "I will never stop being yours."
MC "Cum for me you stupid girl."
L "(screaming orgasm)"
L "FUCK! IT FEELS SO GOOD!"
L "Oh my God it feels so wonderful."

I think the reason you are denying that she is a masochist is that she is three things in a Venn diagram - a cutter, a masochist and a scapegoat. Scapegoats don't enjoy being hurt but accept it. Cutters (sorta) don't like pain but use it to cope with stress. Masochists get satisfaction - often sexual satisfaction - from abuse.

What a bunch of bullshit (yet again). You really stay consistant. If you think he is a sadist, read my little alternative version from a couple of days ago. He isn't even capable of hurting her if he wanted to (she gave him enough reasons for it). He hasn't beaten anyone. It is obvious that you are projecting. Maybe you are a dirty little man hating liberal feminist whore who terrorized a man so long until he broke and actually fucked you up. She wants to be hurt because she hates herself. She cut herself up as a child because the abuse broke her. Hurting her is her FUCKING LOVE LANGUAGE. How can you be so fucking retarded, even for a woman, to not get that? He fucking hates red bra days, because he fucking hates hurting her.

 

[WannabeShady90]

She thinks that hurting her will help him because hurting herself (at home and in college) has helped her, but she traumatizes him even further. But she doesn't give a fuck about that because she is a grade A fucking narcissist

 

[Lady Lydia]

I really wanted to see the scene where th MC confront her about the answers during the king's weekend in particular.
It's such a let down that's it's not adressed.

I think at this point if the MC confronted Lacey about each and every things she did, we'd have 10+ hours or exposition to deal with. I don't know about you, but I feel its a bit much at this point for the Dev to make & us to watch a 10 hours long discussion between the MC & Lacey, plus frankly it would cripple the development of the game by several months for something which wouldn't really have a pay off worth the efforts both on the Dev & our own parts.

 

[Yabba]

The killer for me is that I actually Love Laceys normal character as much as the MC does so when she behaves irrational it hurts like a motherfucker for him and me and i need to let that go lol ,,

but seriously the level of debate on here is amazing like its 5 am where i live and im still reading stuff you guys and gals are posting and i have done so for the last 4 nights since opening this nightmare fuel AVN.

Like the Lady says we are suffering severe stockholm syndrome !

As an aside im reading another AVN that is just as long and convoluted as LJ called onedayatatime about drug addicts - it is very well writen and unlike this AVN its funny as fuck, like you get proper belly laughs from it .so for me it helps de-stress after reading LJ .

 

[NewGuy2022]

I really wanted to see the scene where th MC confront her about the answers during the king's weekend in particular.
It's such a let down that's it's not adressed.

That would be nice to read. I expect the author won't give us that, though. I'm not sure the MC in his current state could confront anyone about anything; he's too shellshocked from Lacey's and the NPC's abuse. The last thing we can expect from the MC, especially now, is for him to man up and face down those who abuse him.

If he did try to confront her she would merely convince him that nothing bad happened, it was nothing to worry about, and that anything bad that may have happened was all the MC's fault. And the MC would decide to believe her.

That's where this story is for me right now...

 

[DeviantFun]

Let me address this real quick: Do you think it is healthy to be in a relationship with someone who activly goes out of her way to hurt you AND gets off of it? Setting aside the many, many, many, many, many, many other red flags...this red flag alone is relevant enough that everything you try to build on that sandy foundation will inevitably crumble. You've made quite a few excuses for Lacey, quoting her a lot (as if I would give a fuck about what she is saying), but her ACTIONS contradict her words on a regular.

I never said anything of the sort, in fact their relationship is tragic and a proof that abuse can damage people way beyond the family house walls.
I, like others I suspect, keep Lacey accountable for her actions and yearn for more accountability, as that is a path towards healing, with or without MC.

My correction to you was Lacey not wanting to transform MC to be more like herself (she does not like herself, why would she).
This is not shown in the material and denied often, every time MC suggests it.

I stick to what it is written, else we could say: "everyone lies in the novel and this is the truth I created in my mind", but that is not exactly a good talking point, is it?
Unless a line is underlined (Lacey act 1 saying she did not think about MC cause of K while we discover she knew full well she was harming him and their relationship for example, or Jeanette in act 3) and confirmed, I have no way to determine it.

 

[DeviantFun]

I really wanted to see the scene where th MC confront her about the answers during the king's weekend in particular.
It's such a let down that's it's not adressed.

That is one of many but definitely one of the most important.

What about the pics that Mia shows foir her "bonus lesson", that were supposed to be "as fun as possible" since the hard part was over? We see them, neither in a fun way (how that was supposed to be fun in the first place?) nor getting an explanation.

But if you look even behind those events, we have half explained things that are left hanging, even before these two (which are major and make no sense that they are not addressed).

For example:
There are videos of Lacey on the net or in the hands of others (Barty finds them in a background check, forget Jared using a PI).
Lacey had a website.
Where does Mia get that insane amount of K? (isn't she "poor"?)
Where did all that K go?
How did Lacey sustain her addiction though college?
If Lacey has memory issues how come her memory is perfect? (we could give some leeway here)
How did she graduate if she spent one year in the K hole? (have your tried studiying on K? But we might have an answer in act 3 after the reveal)

And more that could be considered minor but would still be nice to know.

I saw the author trying to justify the insane spending from MC in act 3 (it was one of the issues rised before), when he was worried about some clothes shopping just in act 1 and we know he was overspending on the house (yeah some bonuses + one month of exec salary is not the answer).
But this one we can at least say he tried to explain and we can close an eye.

 

[WannabeShady90]

I never said anything of the sort, in fact their relationship is tragic and a proof that abuse can damage people way beyond the family house walls.
I, like others I suspect, keep Lacey accountable for her actions and yearn for more accountability, as that is a path towards healing, with or without MC.

My correction to you was Lacey not wanting to transform MC to be more like herself (she does not like herself, why would she).
This is not shown in the material and denied often, every time MC suggests it.

I stick to what it is written, else we could say: "everyone lies in the novel and this is the truth I created in my mind", but that is not exactly a good talking point, is it?
Unless a line is underlined (Lacey act 1 saying she did not think about MC cause of K while we discover she knew full well she was harming him and their relationship for example, or Jeanette in act 3) and confirmed, I have no way to determine it.

Fair point. I haven't accused everyone of lying though. I have accused specifically Lacey of lying and we have 2 different types of evidence for that - first of all, she contradicts her own statements time and time again. Second of all, her actions contradict her statements. For example, if she only did those college experiances to be able to be with Captain SaveAHoe, why would she continue with them while she is sober and married to him. Anna said to Captain SaveAHoe, she might withhold information from him if she thought that would be in his best interest. Lacey mostly tells things in a way that serve her own interests. I see no real reason why Captain SaveAHoe should remain in that relationship, because his only trauma is caused by Lacey. He could have a happy life with 2 simple steps. 01.) Be alone for a bit or with someone who actually loves him (without trying to break him apart) and seek therapy. He has a great job, nice house (probably needs to sell it if he wants to move though), a harem full of pretty girls who'd do anything to be his wife...he literally does not need Lacey at all.

Here comes the real deal. I have personal experiance with people like that, male and female. My mother has this tendency to psycho-analyse every person in my life, so I have heard plenty of psychoanalysis throughout my life from a person who studied that shit, worked in forensics and worked in psychotherapy for over 40 years. So I'd say I have an extended knowledge about these kinds of mental health problems and I do feel sorry for them, especially if they aren't at fault themselves (like in abuse cases for example), that's why I was this exact kind of Captain SaveAHoe myself. I was the person who tried to prove that my mother, the expert in the field, was wrong and they could be saved if I only tried hard enough. I was never stupid enough to enter a relationship with them, but I did genuinly try to help them...and here comes the pain: They hate themselves. They punish other people around them for caring for or even loving them (the pain they've caused their boyfriends...oh boy), because they feel like they are not worth being loved. That's why I instantly recognized this kind of trauma. Some even create artificial drama to prove that they are not worth being loved. They think you will abandon them, so they try everything to make that happen. They hurt you until you can't go on anymore and leave. It is a doom loop. That's why Lacey is so obsessed with Captain SaveAHoe leaving her. I know this, because I literally talked people out of doing Overdoses, held their heads above the toilet so they didn't choke on their own vomit, took their drugs at parties away from them and flushed them down the toilet, watched over them all night while they were screaming because of withdrawls...but you can only take so much. At some point the hate sets in. You do so much, but they constantly hurt you. It never stops. That's what made me a sadist. I knew their weak spots...as I've reached my boiling point, I just hit them at their weak spots until they were completly broken. And that is when I seeked treatment myself and stayed away from those kinds of people for their own good and mine as well.

 

[DeviantFun]

Fair point. I haven't accused everyone of lying though. I have accused specifically Lacey of lying and we have 2 different types of evidence for that - first of all, she contradicts her own statements time and time again. Second of all, her actions contradict her statements. For example, if she only did those college experiances to be able to be with Captain SaveAHoe, why would she continue with them while she is sober and married to him.

Well the "events" you are talking about are quite different.

I do not see the resemblance between phase 3 Lacey and now.

There might be an explanation hinted in act 3 that could make sense of a couple of them (not being disassociated on K "because she learned to love sex" is the weirdest thing I've read in a while so we might have a different angle now).
But also things that make less sense and make seem like Lacey has been lying to MC and maybe to herself (cue 3p).

Anna said to Captain SaveAHoe, she might withhold information from him if she thought that would be in his best interest. Lacey mostly tells things in a way that serve her own interests. I see no real reason why Captain SaveAHoe should remain in that relationship, because his only trauma is caused by Lacey. He could have a happy life with 2 simple steps. 01.) Be alone for a bit or with someone who actually loves him (without trying to break him apart) and seek therapy. He has a great job, nice house (probably needs to sell it if he wants to move though), a harem full of pretty girls who's do anything to be his wife...he literally does not need Lacey at all.

I think you missed that MC tried to kill himself while alone, the guy is severely damaged from years of giving and abuse.
Steps that might look simple to you might not be for others.

Simple example? An addict might have trouble quitting, but the step is simple, no? Stop using and go and be happy.

You think he does not need Lacey, like Mia does, that she can be subbed out by any of the girls, but this is just not the case at least not with current MC state of mind.

Anna...hmmm...well lets say she shifted quite a bit, and if you read act 2 (heck even an event in act 1) you can see that she had your same idea.
Actually Anna is the first one calling Lacey out about her playing the victim all the time and manipulating MC.

Here comes the real deal. I have personal experiance with people like that, male and female. My mother has this tendency to psycho-analyse every person in my life, so I have heard plenty of psychoanalysis throughout my life from a person who studied that shit, worked in forensics and worked in psychotherapy for over 40 years. So I'd say I have an extended knowledge about these kinds of mental health problems and I do feel sorry for them, especially if they aren't at fault themselves (like in abuse cases for example), that's why I was this exact kind of Captain SaveAHoe myself. I was the person who tried to prove that my mother, the expect in the field, was wrong and they could be saved if I only tried hard enough. I was never stupid enough to enter a relationship with them, but I did genuinly try to help them...and here comes the pain: They hate themselves. They punish other people around them for caring for or even loving them (the pain they've caused their boyfriends...oh boy), because they feel like they are not worth being loved. That's why I instatly recognized this kind of trauma. Some even create artificial drama to prove that they are not worth being loved. They think you will abandon them, so they try everything to make that happen. They hurt you until you can't go on anymore and leave. It is a doom loop. That's why Lacey is so obsessed with Captain SaveAHoe leaving her. I know this, because I literally talked people out of doing Overdoses, held their heads above the toilet so they didn't choke on their own vomit, took their drugs at parties away from them and flushed them down the toilet, watched over them all night while they were screaming because of withdrawls...but you can only take so much. At some point the hate sets in. You do so much, but they constantly hurt you. It never stops. That's what made me a sadist. I knew their weak spots...as I've reached my boiling point, I just hit them at their weak spots until they were completly broken. And that is when I seeked treatment myself and stayed away from those kinds of people for their own good and mine as well.

This is getting personal, good for you for seeking help.

Obviously this is a romanticized and tragic love story with "realistic" elements, where the hope of healing is still on the horizon.
Real life experiences might not apply 100%.

We can hope that, at least in this fantasy world, someone can still gain redemption and heal.

 

[WannabeShady90]

Anna...hmmm...well lets say she shifted quite a bit, and if you read act 2 (heck even an event in act 1) you can see that she had your same idea.
Actually Anna is the first one calling Lacey out about her playing the victim all the time and manipulating MC.

Why do you think it is that I like Anna so much and hate Lacey so much? (My personal experience is the reference point)

 

[WannabeShady90]

This is getting personal, good for you for seeking help.

You can't write this kind of story without personal experience. I also think that everyone in this thread has experienced some kind of related trauma first or second-hand. I don't mind sharing my personal story. I'm the kind of person whose therapist seeks therapy. So there's that. I don't really care what people might think they know about me, because I'm pretty open about this stuff anyway, maybe less open if I want someone to actually like me, which doesn't happen too often. But believe this, there is hardly any person whose appreciation actually matters. Close family, if you have a loving family like I have, 1 or if you're really lucky 2 really close friends...a couple of replaceable buddies maybe. If others don't want to share their stories, that's fine. I'm 99% certain I can read most people commenting here like an open book anyway, especially the Lacey Defence-Squad.

 

[funnythings3785]

Again, arguments that have been made for things to happen or not happen in this story are virtually always based on the characters own words, but can you trust their words? You think nobody lie? To others? Or to themselves? Or change their minds? Sometimes on a whim? We should be taking everything that is said in this game with a grain of salt, its impossible to say if what they say is what they really think, what they believe they think, or what they think in the moment but won't the next day. Do you know about repression? How many homosexual people lived a life pretending to be heterosexual for the sake of social acceptance?

A gay man that never loved romantically a woman will tell his wife 'I love you', it can be a straight lie, or he might fool himself thinking he do love her, or he might actually do so in a platonic fashion, which wouldn't be really what its meant to imply. People repress all sorts of kinks, you have people that have truthfully from an intellectual point of view claimed they'd hate to be cheated on, only for when that notion became possible to discover that emotionally they actually like it.

You cannot consider anything the characters do, say or even think to be absolute, because when it come down to it the 3 factors that drive their personality might have at time different strength to their pull, one day instinct lead, another day emotions lead, and again a day come when the intellect lead. How many women that swore off having children suddenly in their late 30s or early 40s suddenly crave having a child, intellectually they might not have wanted them, emotionally they might not have wanted them, but when instincts start screaming 'YOU WANT A CHILD' their isn't much they can argue about.

Oh and all of that is without accounting for compromises, people can compromise over their thoughts and beliefs for the sake of keeping peace, married people have to do that in many cases, so whatever they think or believe doesn't matter if they make a compromise over keeping their marriage stable and peaceful.

I get your position, but lets consider that your premise is literally "don't accept what they say, assume what they mean".

Usually a good writer will use foreshadow, hinting at various character motives and the like. So far, I haven't seen the professor follow this, rather it is as we have been discussing, chaotic, without reason and abrupt likely due to shoe horning characters into states for the sake of the scenes.

So until I see some specific development to that form of writing I am going to stick with taking the words as they are written to establish motive and intent.

 

[funnythings3785]

Well the "events" you are talking about are quite different.

I do not see the resemblance between phase 3 Lacey and now.

There might be an explanation hinted in act 3 that could make sense of a couple of them (not being disassociated on K "because she learned to love sex" is the weirdest thing I've read in a while so we might have a different angle now).
But also things that make less sense and make seem like Lacey has been lying to MC and maybe to herself (cue 3p).

Maybe I am misunderstanding things, but do you think it is possible the MCs "Break", specifically him coming home, seeing the illusion of her like that, what she says, etc... is a realization of this on his part to some extent? That she has been "lying" to him and herself about everything, trying to convince herself, etc... but the truth keeps coming out in various actions and behaviors?

So this realization is manifesting itself in the break because losing her is a large part of his issues and the conflicting actions of her is driving home this realization to which he does not want to consider or accept?

It might explain how the Lacey is in a constant conflict of characters within the story? Maybe I am reading into it too much.

 

[AL.d]

Maybe I am misunderstanding things, but do you think it is possible the MCs "Break", specifically him coming home, seeing the illusion of her like that, what she says, etc... is a realization of this on his part to some extent? That she has been "lying" to him and herself about everything, trying to convince herself, etc... but the truth keeps coming out in various actions and behaviors?

So this realization is manifesting itself in the break because losing her is a large part of his issues and the conflicting actions of her is driving home this realization to which he does not want to consider or accept?

It might explain how the Lacey is in a constant conflict of characters within the story? Maybe I am reading into it too much.

He had that already in act1. He has a monologue where he straight up says he knows Lacey is peddling a lot of bullshit that don't make any sense. But that's the last we've heard of him like that. After that he is always like I gotta have faith in her, she is trying, jealousy bad, the usual self-blaming victim bs.

 

[funnythings3785]

He had that already in act1. He has a monologue where he straight up says he knows Lacey is peddling a lot of bullshit that don't make any sense. But that's the last we've heard of him like that. After that he is always like I gotta have faith in her, she is trying, jealousy bad, the usual self-blaming victim bs.

Ok, yeah, I remember that... but what I am thinking is he can "tell" himself all of that, and that could be him essentially gas lighting himself while subconsciously, his mind is coming to terms with the reality of it... hence the growing confusion, etc...

It just seems like a reasonable way to explain it all.

 

[AL.d]

Ok, yeah, I remember that... but what I am thinking is he can "tell" himself all of that, and that could be him essentially gas lighting himself while subconsciously, his mind is coming to terms with the reality of it... hence the growing confusion, etc...

It just seems like a reasonable way to explain it all.

I think his depression is just deteriorating, that's why he is having more black outs, delusion etc. Not from a sudden realization. Because he has already realized she is full of shit, the whole rollercoaster started because he could sense something stank in the first place. What he has convinced himself of is...that it's irrelevant. I doesn't matter what she does and/or what he will have to do on her behalf, all that matters is staying together. You can tell from some of his thinking in this update, it's all about resignation. And this kind of self-induced helplessness to take agency of your own self is...very depressing.

I'm not in dev's mind but I think there are not many ways you can put the puzzle together in a way that makes sense, so my read on MC is this. He is a codependent with heavy depression and possible PTSD. PTSD from what? Childhood trauma. He wanted to be with childhood sweetheart. He soon realized he could never do that, because a big bad and powerful man had her under his thumb. Boy was helpless and inadequate to deal with the big bad, not only to stop girl's hurt (he could tell), but also to at least make her look at him, which could never happen in that situation. So he elected to practically become a servant to lessen her hurt this way and bide his time, enabled by the girl who was already screwed up mentally by what was happening to her.

Then it's time for college, girl is supposedly finally free, now he can do something about his feelings, become adequate. Nope. Girl fucks off to college with no warning. He is again helpless to take agency for himself because for many years, he defined himself through her whims. Since it's all he could do and all he knows to do.

Fast forward after college, girl comes back, actually initiates with him, marriage, he thinks he is suddenly getting all he wanted. Then bam he finds out the girl not only abandoned him, but did so in order to find more "bad men". Who would use and humiliate her but this time, she wanted them to. And lots of them. Helpless and inadequate again, not because he is just a little brat, but because he realizes there was never a chance of him not being in that position with her. None of those dudes ever did anything like he has for her, actually most of them treat her like meat. And he sees the pattern during the marriage too, Lacey definitely has a type (knowingly or not) and it's not the servile simp. So all he can do is keep serving and hope for the best. He will try to play the "big bad" when she demands that of him in the bedroom (all initiated by her), in the most awkward and fake way clearly fulfilling an assigned role, but he knows he just isn't enough. And that's what triggers his trauma. He wasn't enough to "get" the girl he is pathologically obsessed with back then, he still isn't enough now.

 

[DeviantFun]

Maybe I am misunderstanding things, but do you think it is possible the MCs "Break", specifically him coming home, seeing the illusion of her like that, what she says, etc... is a realization of this on his part to some extent? That she has been "lying" to him and herself about everything, trying to convince herself, etc... but the truth keeps coming out in various actions and behaviors?

So this realization is manifesting itself in the break because losing her is a large part of his issues and the conflicting actions of her is driving home this realization to which he does not want to consider or accept?

It might explain how the Lacey is in a constant conflict of characters within the story? Maybe I am reading into it too much.

No I do not think the Prof will ever write the MC as reasonable, if you look MC has only one big breakthrough (in the office) in act 2 which is then obviously bulldozed over by act 3 events (and wasn't exactly a great breakthrough either).

MC needs to be always oblivious, sort of immobile and without agency to drive the story further.

The examples are many and they crash with what MC is at his core sometimes:

• Starting from act 3, MC simply follows everyone's orders and even when he says "I will not do it" he then will do it (bdsm club day 4).
• When MC reaches the room and see Lacey crashing out with OS, he does't hug her or try to stop her, he just stands there, so we can get some exposition as readers, MC has experience with that situation and it is stated that he was always ready to stop Lacey self harm.
• At the end of act 3 when he leaves, does he leave of his own free will? no, it is mental health issues, imagine how much more powerful and character defining the whole thing would be if it came from his desperation and under his control.
• When the drug plan is concocted and brought to life, the maximum reaction we have from him is "I am disappointed", considering that Anna lied to him anyway, since she had a direct involvement (she is the one that sends Lacey home lying that those were orders from Veronica).
• Mia does bs? All cool.
• Abby does bs? All cool, actually let him apologize because why not.

So yeah, I do not see MC as a well written character in general, he does have some consistency and some of his ailments are portrayed very well, but he is an dashcam more than a character.

For what I was referring to, I meant that what Lacey does in college is different from what she does now, the motivations and even the acts are different.

As for his breakdown, he is probably seeing his fears that Lacey's actions don't do much to help.
Vegas is not a small oopsie, it is a major fuck up with some pretty heavy implications.

He had that already in act1. He has a monologue where he straight up says he knows Lacey is peddling a lot of bullshit that don't make any sense. But that's the last we've heard of him like that. After that he is always like I gotta have faith in her, she is trying, jealousy bad, the usual self-blaming victim bs.

Amen.

 

[DeviantFun]

I think his depression is just deteriorating, that's why he is having more black outs, delusion etc. Not from a sudden realization. Because he has already realized she is full of shit, the whole rollercoaster started because he could sense something stank in the first place. What he has convinced himself of is...that it's irrelevant. I doesn't matter what she does and/or what he will have to do on her behalf, all that matters is staying together. You can tell from some of his thinking in this update, it's all about resignation. And this kind of self-induced helplessness to take agency of your own self is...very depressing.

I'm not in dev's mind but I think there are not many ways you can put the puzzle together in a way that makes sense, so my read on MC is this. He is a codependent with heavy depression and possible PTSD. PTSD from what? Childhood trauma. He wanted to be with childhood sweetheart. He soon realized he could never do that, because a big bad and powerful man had her under his thumb. Boy was helpless and inadequate to deal with the big bad, not only to stop girl's hurt (he could tell), but also to at least make her look at him, which could never happen in that situation. So he elected to practically become a servant to lessen her hurt this way and bide his time, enabled by the girl who was already screwed up mentally by what was happening to her.

Then it's time for college, girl is supposedly finally free, now he can do something about his feelings, become adequate. Nope. Girl fucks off to college with no warning. He is again helpless to take agency for himself because for many years, he defined himself through her whims. Since it's all he could do and all he knows to do.

Fast forward after college, girl comes back, actually initiates with him, marriage, he thinks he is suddenly getting all he wanted. Then bam he finds out the girl not only abandoned him, but did so in order to find more "bad men". Who would use and humiliate her but this time, she wanted them to. And lots of them. Helpless and inadequate again, not because he is just a little brat, but because he realizes there was never a chance of him not being in that position with her. None of those dudes ever did anything like he has for her, actually most of them treat her like meat. And he sees the pattern during the marriage too, Lacey definitely has a type (knowingly or not) and it's not the servile simp. So all he can do is keep serving and hope for the best. He will try to play the "big bad" when she demands that of him in the bedroom (all initiated by her), in the most awkward and fake way clearly fulfilling an assigned role, but he knows he just isn't enough. And that's what triggers his trauma. He wasn't enough to "get" the girl he is pathologically obsessed with back then, he still isn't enough now.

This was an amazing post that should be pinned at the top so people can finally understand.

I would like to stop on this part:
Lacey definitely has a type (knowingly or not) and it's not the servile simp.

Yeah, we can see this from the start, she wants validation from Jared, she is intrigued by Emilio, she wants the master to dominate her etc...so "powerful" or perceived powerful figures, heck it could go back to Isaac.

But most importantly, this makes me think that Lacey wants MC to look and be successful (car talk etc) because that is what SHE likes it more than what MC likes.
MC is fine with a happy and simple life.

I do not know if the author planned for this or if by scrambling all the drama in it slipped in, but that is shown pretty clearly.
This not being clearly stated in the material makes me think it is just a blunder, but damn it makes perfect sense and the writing seems to point to this heavily.

 

[AL.d]

This was an amazing post that should be pinned at the top so people can finally understand.

I would like to stop on this part:
Lacey definitely has a type (knowingly or not) and it's not the servile simp.

Yeah, we can see this from the start, she wants validation from Jared, she is intrigued by Emilio, she wants the master to dominate her etc...so "powerful" or perceived powerful figures, heck it could go back to Isaac.

But most importantly, this makes me think that Lacey wants MC to look and be successful (car talk etc) because that is what SHE likes it more than what MC likes.
MC is fine with a happy and simple life.

I do not know if the author planned for this or if by scrambling all the drama in it slipped in, but that is shown pretty clearly.
This not being clearly stated in the material makes me think it is just a blunder, but damn it makes perfect sense and the writing seems to point to this heavily.

Authority plays a part but I think the common trait is bold sexual attention. To an objectifying degree. Practically dudes who see her as a set of holes and are bold enough to show it. While MC has conditioned himself to avoid that, since even the slightest thing resembling that would have made her recoil back then. Which explains her instigating role in sex scenes.

I mean look at who the best of the 300 spartans are. A permanent frat boy who had no issue exposing a married woman at her workplace as a party slut. And a dude who had no issue stalk and pester a married woman, just because she made him feel good about his micro dick back in the day. And it all goes down from there, those two were the good guys.

 

[DeviantFun]

Authority plays a part but I think the common trait is bold sexual attention. To an objectifying degree. Practically dudes who see her as a set of holes and are bold enough to show it. While MC has conditioned himself to avoid that, since even the slightest thing resembling that would have made her recoil back then. Which explains her instigating role in sex scenes.

I mean look at who the best of the 300 spartans are. A permanent frat boy who had no issue exposing a married woman at her workplace as a party slut. And a dude who had no issue stalk and pester a married woman, just because she made him feel good about his micro dick back in the day. And it all goes down from there, those two were the good guys.

Which would explain her total enamourment with flirting at every occasion.

I always wondered if that was the author putting his worldview in or a specific trait.

Seem like it is a specific trait.

It also fits with the sort of encouragement and messages she gives MC during sex.