VN Ren'Py Luminary Protocol [v0.42] [Jubs Games]

[Jubs!]

I enjoyed the story in v.41. I found it very compelling. The short movement animations looked great for the most part. Here is a short list of typos/misspellings and incorrect word usages I noticed:

covering -> covered
the excitement the crowd want -> the excitement the crowd wants
But you are woken by a knock. -> But you are awakened by a knock.
commit of much of it as possible to member as you can. -> commit as much of it as possible to memory as you can.
Daniel wonders off -> Daniel wanders off
It hubris, and it's going to be -> It's hubris, and it's going to be
You can see her arena gear sticking out of her back in an open locker. -> Did you mean "out of her pack"?
her voice a low, steady, and focused. -> her voice is low, steady, and focused.
Down on the sand, Cassia is standing rooted to the spot Alice, horrified. -> Doesn't make sense. Can't tell exactly what you meant to say. Maybe, "standing, rooted next to the spot where Alice lies, horrified."
too far away to see much else, but Lyra is. -> too far away to see much else, but Lyra does.
until her body can replace it what it's lost. -> until her body can replace what it's lost.
Well, I'm gunna -> Well, I'm gonna
The big headline on page 2 catches your eye -> Looking at the paper itself shows that it's page 3.
and the one attempted murder of her student. -> and the attempted murder of her student.

Thank you. I did catch a few of those in the 0.42 update I just uploaded, but not all of them. Ill get them corrected for the next update. The news paper was one of the images I replaced. I smudged out the number on the other page. Then realised that there is no way that page 3 could be on the left side of the paper and decided I'll need to rework the image in a future update

 

[pedersilver5]

Thank you for this update. I played it previously probably a couple of years ago. Including some of the Pirate tales and diplomacy from that area of the Triumvirate and a bit of exploration. I started from the beginning again, using some of the same choices previously made, sort of like Norse Thor chaotic good direction because of the Chaos affinity of the MC. For fellow adventure story lovers I recommend this for the AD&D like plot and exploration. Still early into this update, again, thank you for the share.

 

[Cforcer]

Looks nice so far... thank you for sharing... hopefully won't get abandoned ...

 

[pedersilver5]

The MC looks like me at the top of my game, MMA, USN, add 3" to the equipment and maybe unknown to height. A 6'3" 184 lbs 54" chest, 34" waist. Equipped just below navel aroused, are you experienced. All that aside. I love Vivian's shoppe, reminds me of the quality Italian tailors, shoemakers, and haberdasheries as a young teen and beyond. Quality is always best. Never settle for less. Tailors and seamstresses bustling about basic suits, that after you are measured, and a week later wala (stolen from) Ghost-busters: do you believe in Magic?, or the cowardly lion, I do I do believe in spooks."

The train, inter city and country trains in the glory remnant of an age no graffiti, elegant polished mahogany wood I enjoyed in the mid to late seventies Italy: Venice, Rome, Napoli... I am certain those are gone. Once road the holiday trains from storage which were similar but not as elegant.

Stadium fight high heels, really? You went there? No one fights in high heels.

 

[pedersilver5]

After the stadium fight it goes to a black screen that I cannot get out of besides going to the no progress in story reviews. I know I went further in past releases, is this an error?