Writing as I'm playing:
- FIrst, love the renders and the mature situation.
- Sometimes it can be really hard to follow what's going on because of how quickly and suddenly it cuts to new scenes.
- I think it should be more obvious when the character is thinking and when they're speaking out loud.
- I've had to leave Google translate open on my other monitor because of how often I don't understand the Spanish... this would be a lot easier if there was more context but like I said, things cut very quickly and it's sometimes difficult to realize that the MC or others may be talking to themselves.
- Add in some filler renders. For example, when you send the video, have it be more obvious that she actually watched the video instead of her just immediately being furious. I didn't know who she was yet, so I genuinely didn't know if that was his wife or not. It gets resolved quickly, you find out who she is, I just don't like finding out who someone is after they've had their bit because I don't know how important this character may be or how emotionally invested in them I should be.
- Add a background for the text box. Reading white text on a white scene is difficult and unneccesary. WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.
- I learned that "carajo" means "fuck." But I had to go to my other monitor and type it in to figure that out, because, again, I don't speak Spanish and the scene didn't give enough context to let me just figure out what the word is supposed to be, it could have been anything.
- MC goes to make a call, she tells him not to get up too fast, then informs him she already called and lifts her hair up. I feel like I'm completely missing something here.
- "Abuela" means "grandma." Again, not enough context for me to understand that on my own without a translation.
- The plates being the central focal point of the render, yet be clipping through the table in such a massive way, is extremely odd. Everything else so far seems to be just fine with minor clipping. But seriously, the table is eating that plate.
- There's a lot of missing punctuation. "You got yourself a Mr. Swazey mija?" and "You got yourself a Mr. Swazey, Mija?" are two different sentences.
- for reals though, the daughter is gorgeous.
- The pacing and transitions seem to be getting better.
Alright, finished this update.
Liked it alot, really looking forward to hear the rest of the story.
As far as extremely early-in-development games go, this is 8/10.