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3.30 star(s) 9 Votes

Drainer002

Member
Jul 23, 2020
271
297
Hey all, i have started an overhoal on the text. Changing, and deleting lines of text, adding missing words like "up/ you/ your/ are..." i have been on this for most of the afternoon (doing my own chores in between haha) and finished episodes 0 and 1.
 
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Dripping

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2019
1,354
3,350
Hey all, i have started an overhoal on the text. Changing, and deleting lines of text, adding missing words like "up/ you/ your/ are..." i have been on this for most of the afternoon (doing my own chores in between haha) and finished episodes 0 and 1.

First time around i was way to frustrated to continue in episode 1.
When i have time and i feel up for it, i will take on episode 2 and 3.
Thank you! So far, the story doesn't seem bad, but it needs a lot of proofreading for spelling, grammar, and polishing weird sentence constructions.

Could probably use some fixing to the code for the "caretaker" sentences as well. I'd strongly suggest referring to her by her first name more often, instead of the description of the relationship. And maybe include two variations, a long and more official version (like "Stepmother"), and a shorter casual version ("mom").
Also, not sure if Ren'py allows for this, but try to include some way to make the first letter capitalized when it's at the start of a sentence, but lower-case when it's not.
 

Drainer002

Member
Jul 23, 2020
271
297
Thank you! So far, the story doesn't seem bad, but it needs a lot of proofreading for spelling, grammar, and polishing weird sentence constructions.

Could probably use some fixing to the code for the "caretaker" sentences as well. I'd strongly suggest referring to her by her first name more often, instead of the description of the relationship. And maybe include two variations, a long and more official version (like "Stepmother"), and a shorter casual version ("mom").
Also, not sure if Ren'py allows for this, but try to include some way to make the first letter capitalized when it's at the start of a sentence, but lower-case when it's not.
Perhaps so, indeed when it's "caretaker" the code should refer more to her first name though, for me it's mom all the way (you don't call you parents by there first name lol) i did find some hard writing stepmother in text instead of [player_rel] and you real mom is dead so... ugh. I didn't change it though except for 2 senteces where i removed the 'step'.
Other lines i just removed completly.

example:
sm smnorm " And he should be in all the stress he deserved to feel at home some moment."

this sentence was completly off, didn't know what to make of it (it's about the father beeing away for work).
There were more of this kind so i either removed or altered them.
 

DIRTY FILTHY Animal

Devoted Member
Jun 11, 2020
8,812
29,983
Good game, but I want to see mommy milkers squirt mc’s face with them (he said they taste sweet) and then he can show her his boner and say “ now you can milk mine”
 

Drainer002

Member
Jul 23, 2020
271
297
Proofreading done, there was a lot to go through but i believe i cleaned it up pretty nice, thank god google translate didn't fail on me haha.

Just extract and merge it with the 'main' folder and accept changes (folders are 'game' and 'Ep').
 

DarkDaemonX

Engaged Member
Mar 31, 2020
2,467
2,717
how it is can be? //if you knock your nephew//? maybe meaned "if you knock your niece"?
or "knocking" word is not about womans who becomes pregnant but also a mans which impregnated somebody without knowing of that fact?
I can't find any source confirming that, and it's knock "up" in the first place, without that word it's just violence.

I really hate bad English in games, is English not a language everyone is forced to learn in school? Because I'm surprised how people (especially developers) finish high school with the level of English on display everywhere, :(.
 
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HansDampf788

Well-Known Member
Dec 31, 2018
1,897
6,266
I really hate bad English in games, is English not a language everyone is forced to learn in school? Because I'm surprised how people (especially developers) finish high school with the level of English on display everywhere,
English is not only my second language I'm also dyslexic but I understand the dislike for bad English in games. When it comes to learning English in school, even if someone learns it in school it doesn't mean that he/she is good at it.
For example, I had 7 1/2 years of English in school but I learned much more through consuming English media than I did in school, but because I don't use it in daily life I still have problems with it and to be honest, without Grammarly my comments would be a nightmare for native speakers.
 

DarkDaemonX

Engaged Member
Mar 31, 2020
2,467
2,717
English is not only my second language I'm also dyslexic but I understand the dislike for bad English in games. When it comes to learning English in school, even if someone learns it in school it doesn't mean that he/she is good at it.
For example, I had 7 1/2 years of English in school but I learned much more through consuming English media than I did in school, but because I don't use it in daily life I still have problems with it and to be honest, without Grammarly my comments would be a nightmare for native speakers.
I understand, it's just that bad English in games comes off as lazy, like they don't even bother to use proper English, they might as well not release it in English at that point.
 

Gosamr

Member
May 6, 2021
334
474
I understand, it's just that bad English in games comes off as lazy, like they don't even bother to use proper English, they might as well not release it in English at that point.
I'm curious then. If you had to rewrite this dialogue in a language you at best speak as poorly as, you say, this guy does, how would you go about writing it to the clearly high standard of intelligibility and fluency that you are expecting this guy to attain here?

This is absolutely not a "troll", it's a genuine practical question about a genuine practical dilemma for this and, it seems, many other low aptitude EASL speakers in here.

You can't say you'd get someone else to do it, because firstly, you don't know this guy hasn't already tried to obtain the services of a competent translator and secondly paid non-machine translation is not an overhead a starting creator can usually if ever afford, even if such a service even happens to be available.

Proofreading's irrelevant because that's just tidying up and final tweaking and from what you are saying the existing level of intelligibility of the dialogue is way below the point where proofreading would be of any practical use whatsoever.
 
3.30 star(s) 9 Votes