VN Ren'Py Abandoned Mamma Mia [Ep. 3 P1] [NBArts]

[-CookieMonster666-]

This game needs a patch for family realism XD

That would take considerable rewriting, given that one of the rules explained at the very beginning is there can't be any blood-related sex.

 

[GentlemanCorpse]

hi,

I find the writing and language horrible, I will not read any more...

It is said the family is sexual open, but there is nothing happening...
Maybe those rules are only for me looking like the standard social norm and nothing special.. or it is the writing again..

MC looks really stupid..

Good luck but no4hing for me.


Regards

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

hi,

I find the writing and language horrible, I will not read any more...

It is said the family is sexual open, but there is nothing happening...
Maybe those rules are only for me looking like the standard social norm and nothing special.. or it is the writing again..

MC looks really stupid..

Good luck but no4hing for me.


Regards

Hi,

I find your comment and feedback useless, too bad I kept reading...

It is said criticism can be helpful, but only if it's constructive...
Maybe you think what you posted helps... but it does not.

Regards

 

[GentlemanCorpse]

Hi,

I find your comment and feedback useless, too bad I kept reading...

It is said criticism can be helpful, but only if it's constructive...
Maybe you think what you posted helps... but it does not.

Regards

Hi,

Why not? First; it is just my own opinions, second; my points can be helpful, because, if those are points which others also mentioned, this can push people in the right direction.

I apologize for my wording, looks harsh afterwards. But the essence should be as following.

1. It needs proofreading or at least a decent translation. Writing feels unnatural. Capital letters are also missed at the start of the sentence, thoughts could also made look different from the normal spoken text.

2. For me it is too slow burn with lewd content - it should not say at the beginning the family is so free - it caused for me false expectations, in such a free family I expect at least less clothes in the household, and already affection showing between them, it is the step mother (or did I misread?), therefore not blood related. It just felt like you are already stepping into a lewd family. In hindsight, I really don't know why this is emphasized, as those look like normal rules...

3. Yea, the MC, also only my opinion, but he looks like a little mid-aged man. But 3D Modeler are rarely concentrating on good looking male models. I just find him not handsome, like the writing is trying to.


Regards

 

[Shyguy1369]

Hi,

Why not? First; it is just my own opinions, second; my points can be helpful, because, if those are points which others also mentioned, this can push people in the right direction.

I apologize for my wording, looks harsh afterwards. But the essence should be as following.

1. It needs proofreading or at least a decent translation. Writing feels unnatural. Capital letters are also missed at the start of the sentence, thoughts could also made look different from the normal spoken text.

2. For me it is too slow burn with lewd content - it should not say at the beginning the family is so free - it caused for me false expectations, in such a free family I expect at least less clothes in the household, and already affection showing between them, it is the step mother (or did I misread?), therefore not blood related. It just felt like you are already stepping into a lewd family. In hindsight, I really don't know why this is emphasized, as those look like normal rules...

3. Yea, the MC, also only my opinion, but he looks like a little mid-aged man. But 3D Modeler are rarely concentrating on good looking male models. I just find him not handsome, like the writing is trying to.


Regards

So I am not sure what the Dev will say in response, but I think you are right that this is maybe the wrong VN for you.

Yes, the translation has not gone well, and maybe someone else needs to translate it for the Dev into English. So I understand your issues with the translation. It's not the writing entirely as I believe most of the issues are the translation. As well as no difference between inner thoughts and spoken words.

HOWEVER, with all that said, there is no where that it is said this is a fap fest. A story can be told leading to good lewd content later. There are definitely plenty of VNs that are Fap Fests and if that's what you're interested in, then you may want to find those.

I personally think there is a lot of potential here. Sure, there needs some clean up with the writing translation, but just because there hasn't been full on lewd content, doesn't mean the Dev has been misleading or that it is fully needed. You need to sometimes be patient.

This is all just my opinion, but I sort of agree that you were maybe overly critical without context. We are all free to voice our opinions, of course, but sometimes we should also pay attention to HOW we say something, especially to a new Dev. I know if it was me, I would rather hear how maybe I can improve. But again, just my thoughts.

 

[Tronar]

I liked it
in my opinion there is room for improvement:

1. clarification of the relationships
2. streamlining/optimizing the story:
   1. the resting or meme watching is unnecessary... you could change it to massage learning, that would be more inline with the story
   2. Evelyn say:
      1. I have lived months before without sex. But this is new. As a family tradition, I am fine with intimacy. But I don't know how Lucas will take this matter.
      2. I am feeling an unusual attraction toward Lucas and that's a guardian shouldn't have.
   3. But in the Contact Book it says for her: We used to practice pull-out, so our sexual freedom is good.
3. i am not an expert but proofreading
4. i personally think that thoughts and speak should be visibly separated (for example by italic letters or color)
5. UI bug, but i think the dev is already working on it

good luck with the game

 

[TheDick69+]

This could have been a good game but it isn't. Yet? Even as a Swede I cringe at the English. The missing UI is another thing that needs to be worked with. I don't like the looks of the MC and as I always see myself as the MC I have a trouble with that. (As I'm a handsome guy! ) I will not put an "Ignore thred"-stamp on this one. See if next update take care of these things. I still think the game has a potential.

 

[Demonic Presence]

I mean what is that? He looks like he's in his 30s, his drip looks like something a 10 year old would wear to bed and his body proportions looks off.

I don't get how most devs always tend to put so little effort in the main characters appearance. It beats me, if I made a game I'd at least make it somewhat believable that a lot of girls would want the MC by making him good looking.. Or rich and famous but a broke feck with little attractiveness getting all the cheeks? Dream on son

Thank you for saying this. Yes, the ladies should be hot but some games have these beautiful ladies fawning over the most average looking dweebs. Here, you have the stepmom already wanting to jump his pistol.

 

[incest lover m/s]

an incest patch would look good on this game

 

[Pogo123]

nice renders girls seem to have some curves which i always appreciate

but i would have liked to see ntr in this game with old guys creeping on these girls and mc can choose to let it happen or not would have been hot

 

[Lion sB4]

View attachment 1678718

Overview:
Just Graduated, now you will live your new life apart from missionary schools restrictions. You decided to go to your dad's place and relax and do some side work. Dad is not at home, so you will be living with your stepmom. Which is good, in the meantime, you discovered an extraordinary power inside you. is it good? Or This newfound power will destroy your new restriction-free life. Let's find out...​

Thread Updated: 2022-05-07
Release Date: 2022-05-07
Developer: NBArts -

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Censored: No
Version: Episode 2
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:

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DOWNLOAD
Win/Linux: MEGA -

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View attachment 1678752 View attachment 1678753 View attachment 1678754 View attachment 1678757 View attachment 1678758 View attachment 1678755 View attachment 1678756 View attachment 1678750 View attachment 1678759 View attachment 1797415 View attachment 1797411 View attachment 1797412 View attachment 1797413 View attachment 1797414 View attachment 1797417 View attachment 1797419 View attachment 1797420​

For Android

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

For Android

You should request that on the thread for Android ports, specifically for Ren'Py games.

 

[bob danio]

this game need an incest pack...

 

[SecretSal]

I'm somewhat bemused to read that the appearance of the mc seems to be causing a bit of a ruckus. I don't really see how the little picture in the bottom left hand corner of the screen and the fleeting glimpses of mc's profile and the back of his head can have such a seemingly cataclysmic impact on the immersion and enjoyment of some of this audience. Unless, I suppose, they have such a severe self esteem and self-image complex that even fleeting glimpses of "themselves" as anyone or anything less than Clark Kent will stoke the fires of self-loathing beyond tolerable levels.

Speaking of the bottom left hand corner of the screen, whether you are impressed by it or not, I found it rather unusual and, in my experience at least, somewhat novel the way this dev uses expression changes to visually emphasise the variations in tone in the dialogue that each expression accompanies. It does, however, seem pretty easy to ignore unless, as I said, the sight only serves to push your overly sensitive self-image button.

Speaking for myself, it doesn't have too much to do with self-image. I've enjoyed games with ugly protagonists like Solvalley School, but that game makes it very clear that they're ugly since all the other characters keep bringing it up. But when you have a guy like this one, with a punchable face that has all the women in the game hanging on his every word, it's pretty jarring. Especially when the words aren't even that coherent because of the translation issues.

If he was a clod and the game went with it, that could work. For example, when he's trying on outfits, if he looked completely ridiculous but still thought he was all swaggy, that'd be a funny scene and could actually give the guy some character. Right now, the character is quite bland and his design only highlights that. Yeah we could ignore it, but for me, the enjoyment in a game comes from taking the entire experience in, and if ignoring something as everpresent as a protagonist is a requisite, then that's a steep uphill climb.

Portrait expression changes are a pretty efficient way of adding some colour to dialog (quite a few games have employed it before), although I do appreciate games that take the extra effort to show emotional expressions in the main screen. Sometimes it can get jarring when characters are featured both in the main screen and the text box and have different expressions in each.

 

[Gosamr]

Speaking for myself, it doesn't have too much to do with self-image. I've enjoyed games with ugly protagonists like Solvalley School, but that game makes it very clear that they're ugly since all the other characters keep bringing it up. But when you have a guy like this one, with a punchable face that has all the women in the game hanging on his every word, it's pretty jarring. Especially when the words aren't even that coherent because of the translation issues.

If he was a clod and the game went with it, that could work. For example, when he's trying on outfits, if he looked completely ridiculous but still thought he was all swaggy, that'd be a funny scene and could actually give the guy some character. Right now, the character is quite bland and his design only highlights that. Yeah we could ignore it, but for me, the enjoyment in a game comes from taking the entire experience in, and if ignoring something as everpresent as a protagonist is a requisite, then that's a steep uphill climb.

Portrait expression changes are a pretty efficient way of adding some colour to dialog (quite a few games have employed it before), although I do appreciate games that take the extra effort to show emotional expressions in the main screen. Sometimes it can get jarring when characters are featured both in the main screen and the text box and have different expressions in each.

"When you have a guy like this one, with a punchable face". Thank goodness the mc isn't a woman. We'd never hear the end of it.

Well, I think it's safe to say that our opinions are diametrically and irreconcilably opposed, so I'll happily continue to enjoy, with my jarringly punchable face, this delightful entertainment while I guess you'll have to, perhaps only for the time being at least, (who knows) suck it up or, if you're sufficiently worried about getting your (character's) face punched, find pastures new.

 

[SecretSal]

"When you have a guy like this one, with a punchable face". Thank goodness the mc isn't a woman. We'd never hear the end of it.

Doubtful. This game would have a different (and smaller) audience if the MC was a woman, so moot (though facetious) point.

Well, I think it's safe to say that our opinions are diametrically and irreconcilably opposed, so I'll happily continue to enjoy, with my jarringly punchable face, this delightful entertainment while I guess you'll have to, perhaps only for the time being at least, (who knows) suck it up or, if you're sufficiently worried about getting your (character's) face punched, find pastures new.

Holy run-on sentence! But yeah, knock yourself out. If it works for you, there's no real argument against that. MC's face is actually the least of my problems, standing in line well after uninspired writing, generic plot and presumably playing a Jody. But props to the dev for the visuals (MC notwithstanding) and a well-designed interface, which is impressive enough on its own.

 

[Gosamr]

Doubtful. This game would have a different (and smaller) audience if the MC was a woman, so moot (though facetious) point.


Holy run-on sentence! But yeah, knock yourself out. If it works for you, there's no real argument against that. MC's face is actually the least of my problems, standing in line well after uninspired writing, generic plot and presumably playing a Jody. But props to the dev for the visuals (MC notwithstanding) and a well-designed interface, which is impressive enough on its own.

"punchable face"..."knock yourself out"... remind me to stay right out of your way(, Robin...).
But seriously, I do apologize about the sentence length. It's an aggravating habit that, when I get carried away, I seem to regularly overlook. I'm sorry about that.

 

[rrfh]

android version?

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

android version?

You should request that on the proper forum. Someone will see the request and, if they decide to do it, they will create the port for you.

 

[ramvivat]

Live with his stepmom =>you need to add "incest" tag, right?!

incest and stepmom? are you serious? where is incest?

STEP- is not incest. where is no bloodmix.