- Jun 6, 2017
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wtf squirrels do u have in ur neighborhood?Her face looks like a squirrel in the second pic.
- Aug 9, 2017
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- Jun 18, 2017
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+ Molly looks hot, but acts like she has a very slow mind
+- Frank looks like shiny rubber. He always touches his elbow, funny. He has T-Rex arms
+- Indoor lighting is sometimes inconsistent, outdoors too sometimes
+- Melissa looks meh / so-so
- The Engrish is really bad
- The water in the shower looks like shit (literally)
- Enviroments look really strange... like we're in some toy kingdom
- Some renders are, sadly, very grainy
Not too much content and the inconsistent lighting really irritates me. So far, Molly's looks would be the only reason to come back to this. Then again, she's not that interesting (yet), but I'll hold out for the next update.
+- Frank looks like shiny rubber. He always touches his elbow, funny. He has T-Rex arms
+- Indoor lighting is sometimes inconsistent, outdoors too sometimes
+- Melissa looks meh / so-so
- The Engrish is really bad
- The water in the shower looks like shit (literally)
- Enviroments look really strange... like we're in some toy kingdom
- Some renders are, sadly, very grainy
Not too much content and the inconsistent lighting really irritates me. So far, Molly's looks would be the only reason to come back to this. Then again, she's not that interesting (yet), but I'll hold out for the next update.
- Sep 2, 2018
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Well, this needs work.
Machine-translated russian gives some terrible engrish sentences, and characters inclusion in the backgrounds are sometimes off (even way off when they're all sitting at the table for dinner, or when Molly goes into the pool).
The story seems ok so far, and the characters are rather likeable. Molly is cute, and as she is the titular character, it's quite obvious the MC is gonna fall for her. This reminds me of "Life with Mary".
Machine-translated russian gives some terrible engrish sentences, and characters inclusion in the backgrounds are sometimes off (even way off when they're all sitting at the table for dinner, or when Molly goes into the pool).
The story seems ok so far, and the characters are rather likeable. Molly is cute, and as she is the titular character, it's quite obvious the MC is gonna fall for her. This reminds me of "Life with Mary".
- Aug 9, 2017
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- Aug 5, 2016
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- Aug 21, 2018
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I think the amount of exposition is ok - could be shorter, but I think it is not to much.
The Engrish is horrible, indeed.
As always I want to point out
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The dev note mentions that only this release will be kinetic and the next updates will have choices - I hope so, bc I share your opinion on kinetic novels. But I think he could add just some minor flavor choices in the first part. Nothing that changes the story, just some lines of text how the MC reacts to the situation.
The premise is good enough. But maybe because of the bad translation it has a weird feeling to it when the MC arrives at the house.
AND the dev should check how much stuff you can transport in a super sports car ... that makes no sense that he would bring anything more than just some clothing - especially when there is a housekeeper with food and all.
And considering the amount of text, I think Molly changes her mood to quick. There could be a bit more dialog, that helps to make her more believable.
I do like the look of the girls, Frank is a bit to shiny. The rest of the renders are ok enough, except the lighting. Especially noticeable in the scene in the pool. Molly's skin changes color like a chameleon ^^ . I hope he will find a proofreader/translator, because in the current state it is in deed hard to understand and cant build up atmosphere or mood.
Will keep an eye on it ...
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- Jan 3, 2019
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From the description sounded like the mc is single am i right ?? he meets molly when goes to this place ?? if not then description is even more confusion then the game itself.
I agree that the translation needs work. The Runglish needs a bit of polish, but it doesn't seem too bad. While my Russian is a bit rusty, I'd be happy to proofread the English script (I'm a proofreader by trade, so it's what I do for a living). If the dev is interested, I could take a look...
- Jun 22, 2017
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Is this an Isikai where the player is trapped in a Minecraft server?!?!
- Oct 23, 2016
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I often try to clear my brains as well, they get so milky in that skull of mine, with all five of them pressed together.
Words almost fail me. Based on this bit of the description alone, I decide to give this kn a pass until the dev finds a translator who actually writes a passable English.
Especially if you have high ambitions with your writing, a mastery of the language you are writing in is absolutely neccessary.
- Jun 5, 2019
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I can hear the sudden C418 music blaring already.Is this an Isikai where the player is trapped in a Minecraft server?!?!
- May 13, 2018
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Emmm, well I got drawn into this from the pool render, looked pretty good. The English as has been mentioned is challenging, the people have been rendered and then superimposed onto backgrounds in the most part, which is fine if care is taken but here folk sitting on a chair seem to bounce around when changing poses. The story is a bit strange, folks act in a sightly unusual way for the situation. It's hard to tell what I think of this one. First it needs a huge amount of work from a native speaker to correct and modify the English, the story and make reactions more believable. The dev clearly has the equipment to do renders so from that side of things I think practice might solve it.
Seems to have the seed of a good game in it, with a bit of work and support the dev might be onto something. I think the best comment made before was, in a story driven story, the story has to be good and the English has to be bang on. Jury is out on Molly for the moment but I would definitely come back and see where it has gone in a few updates
Seems to have the seed of a good game in it, with a bit of work and support the dev might be onto something. I think the best comment made before was, in a story driven story, the story has to be good and the English has to be bang on. Jury is out on Molly for the moment but I would definitely come back and see where it has gone in a few updates
Hi guys! I’am FoxSmile. Thank you for your feedbacks and comments below. I’m a beginner in this, that’s why please do not judge strictly for my creation. Yes, I’m not English speaker but I will take into consideration your comments. Also, thank you for advices provided below, I’ll take it into account when create the second chapter of novella. I hope you will like it.
PS: If you have any proposals or wishes, please let me know in comments on my page:
PS: If you have any proposals or wishes, please let me know in comments on my page:
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- Apr 25, 2018
- 1,747
- 1,317
Hey FoxSmile
Welcome to f95zone.
Don't let our ranting go to your heart.
It might be a weird way but I think most of us want just to help you to improve your game.
Your story idea looks interesting and the rest will improve over time, I'm sure.
Let me suggest this translator to you:
It's a machine translator but way better than google translator. If your language is there you might give it a try.
Keep it up and good luck.
Welcome to f95zone.
Don't let our ranting go to your heart.
It might be a weird way but I think most of us want just to help you to improve your game.
Your story idea looks interesting and the rest will improve over time, I'm sure.
Let me suggest this translator to you:
You must be registered to see the links
It's a machine translator but way better than google translator. If your language is there you might give it a try.
Keep it up and good luck.
- Aug 9, 2017
- 2,859
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OK. So, I tried.
Let's start with bad things:
- English - it isn't horrible like in some other games or most QSP titles but still, it's not passable. He needs translator/proofreader. I mean, you could even accept this kind of bad English if we're talking about some trainer or sandbox fuckfest game but it's an absolutely BIG NO for any story-heavy title - and romance requires a good story.
- lighting: same scenes, different lightings - even if you've got a good story, this will make your game look really amateurish.
- characters/relations: Frank looks like he's 70 at least. It's impossible that chick is his younger sister! I mean, how much younger?! 30 or 40 years?! Not to mention Frank is treating her more like daughter (he's admonishing her because of "language"). So, yeah - I would strongly suggest girls relationship should be changed to daughter/granddaughter. Also, what's with all that "She is very young" about Molly?! How old is she? I mean, I don't care if she is supposed to be 16 or 20 but Patreon would care - so, caution!
Good things:
- yes, it really feels like a romantic story - like something Ptolemy would write, at least for now. Models are OK. I know we don't have choices for now but I see dev promised them in future releases - so, it's a nice intro for the main game.
- the story has a good potential not to be boring one - our Cinderella-Molly story arc, divorce, revenge to ex...
- details: to be more precise, that little detail during dinner - suddenly, everything became darker and I thought it's, again, rendering issue. In fact, dev showed us how the night falls: darker tones, those light bulbs turned on... Nice touch.
I really hope dev will take care of those issues and we could have a nice VN.
Let's start with bad things:
- English - it isn't horrible like in some other games or most QSP titles but still, it's not passable. He needs translator/proofreader. I mean, you could even accept this kind of bad English if we're talking about some trainer or sandbox fuckfest game but it's an absolutely BIG NO for any story-heavy title - and romance requires a good story.
- lighting: same scenes, different lightings - even if you've got a good story, this will make your game look really amateurish.
- characters/relations: Frank looks like he's 70 at least. It's impossible that chick is his younger sister! I mean, how much younger?! 30 or 40 years?! Not to mention Frank is treating her more like daughter (he's admonishing her because of "language"). So, yeah - I would strongly suggest girls relationship should be changed to daughter/granddaughter. Also, what's with all that "She is very young" about Molly?! How old is she? I mean, I don't care if she is supposed to be 16 or 20 but Patreon would care - so, caution!
Good things:
- yes, it really feels like a romantic story - like something Ptolemy would write, at least for now. Models are OK. I know we don't have choices for now but I see dev promised them in future releases - so, it's a nice intro for the main game.
- the story has a good potential not to be boring one - our Cinderella-Molly story arc, divorce, revenge to ex...
- details: to be more precise, that little detail during dinner - suddenly, everything became darker and I thought it's, again, rendering issue. In fact, dev showed us how the night falls: darker tones, those light bulbs turned on... Nice touch.
I really hope dev will take care of those issues and we could have a nice VN.
- Oct 11, 2018
- 8,091
- 33,059