- Jan 2, 2019
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- Thread starter Mr.Mister
- Start date
- Sep 18, 2019
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- Nov 17, 2020
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Seen better writing in a Sharknado movie. I made it to the kitchen scene where the birth mom shows up to take the kid back and had to shut it down. Worst writing since Corky Romano. Also something about her face is off-putting.
Maybe I just need a nap.
Maybe I just need a nap.
- Jan 2, 2019
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You are a bold one, you don't realize that you're insulting everyone here that actually likes this particular VN. (very respected members of this great comunity that has been built by the hard working staff of this site), lol who the F... has seen sharknado and can call their opinion valid...haha
no hard feelings btw.
- Nov 17, 2020
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Well, when you think being compared to Sharknado was the worst insult in a post also comparing to Corky Romano, jokes on you.You are a bold one, you don't realize that you're insulting everyone here that actually likes this particular VN. (very respected members of this great comunity that has been built by the hard working staff of this site), lol who the F... has seen sharknado and can call their opinion valid...haha
I have no hard feelings towards you, as I am sure you and others put in a lot of work(hell, I spent about 40 hrs proofreading, correcting the spelling and syntax for another game on here, that is about 25% complete, even then I made a couple of coding errors that someone else had to fix). I just hit a string of bad Engrish games, games with non-consensual scenes but not labeled as such(I hate non-consensual content), and/or games with non-sensical plots, then yours was just the latest(so got a little too much of my venom). While I did not notice spelling errors in the little bit I played, the wording is not how a native English speaker would word their dialogue. Also both of the main female characters come off as morons. Just because a woman is a model, does not make them a moron. It just made me not feel anything for these characters, which I assume are going to be a major part of the game, based on the description on pg 1 here. The villain just came off as cheesy. I did not put these things in a review, for multiple reasons. One, these things are fixable, IMO and this is not a finished product. I don't review until a game is finished.
FWIW, I think you might have a very good premise. I just don't like the way the characters are being built. Another example for you, I loved GOT for the first 6 seasons and bits of the last two seasons. I had no issue where each character ended up but the way they rushed their character arcs in those last two seasons took characters I loved and made me care nothing for them. Make your characters lovable and I will love them. Even the villains can be lovable, in that you love to hate them or they are just so bumbling you can't help but love them. Hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is the opposite of love. Right now I feel apathy for your first three major characters.
I know this is a lot of rambling on about this subject and you are free to ignore every single word of it. Personally, I hope you don't and I can find something to love in future releases of your game. Thanks for letting this old man vent a bit. I wish you much success.
- Jan 2, 2019
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Or maybe you just need a nap. lol
I get why people get angry so easily, times are a bit fucked up lately but it's a lot harder thank you think going through it in south america...and being english not my native language I can only answer you like this, in spanish it would be a lot different.
Now tell us the game you want us to check, I'd love to see your proofreading work!
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- Nov 17, 2020
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Trust me, give the game a bit longer and be aware this dev also likes to tease and some humor besides darker moments. It may grow on you since he did grow over time as well as a dev. At least this game has a line and consistency and characters do have motivations, even for actions you as player may not always immediately recognize or agree with.
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- Jan 2, 2019
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I'm a starting dev and I know it, I grew up watching telenovelas (mostly mexican, argentinian and venezuelan) that are like tv dramas, that's part of my style and I can't deny it, lol. I just hope that my next game won't have so many flaws and bad reviews that could potentially help me increase my patreons number in order to build a better computer and make a living out of this.
- Nov 17, 2020
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Yeah, it would be like me writing a story in Spanish. While I can read it decently, my Spanish speaking and writing skills leave much to be desired. As for the game I proofread and edited, it is the game Dog Days of Summer. Here is the post with my finished work... https://f95zone.to/threads/dog-days...ic-blackweb-games.43621/page-103#post-5601308Or maybe you just need a nap. lol
I get why people get angry so easily, times are a bit fucked up lately but it's a lot harder thank you think going through it in south america...and being english not my native language I can only answer you like this, in spanish it would be a lot different.
Now tell us the game you want us to check, I'd love to see your proofreading work!
Note, even after spending a weeks worth of work on it, there was still a few errors that another user found and fixed. Seems I put a space in the wrong place on a couple of code lines. I think I fixed close to 200 spelling errors, another 50 or so grammatical errors and 4 or 5 contextual errors(wrong person speaking, etc).
- Jul 3, 2020
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- Feb 25, 2020
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Kinda sad that you watched Sharknado, I watched 5 minutes and turned it off. The script isn't that bad, I have seen worse!
- Nov 17, 2020
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Would you be tempted?
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- Jul 13, 2018
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Oh hell yea!Would you be tempted?
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- Jan 7, 2018
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Is the temptation before or after she gets the results from her test she had done?Would you be tempted?
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- Jan 2, 2019
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That's Breeze, Moon's and Gisselle's mother, no test for her
Oh... The results will be ready in 2 or three days, that'll be prolly for the 11'th chapter. The Breeze scene will be on the next update...my bad, brain works in other language...
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