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Who's your favorite girl so far?

  • Aine

  • Gwen

  • Emma

  • Sky

  • Lily

  • Freya

  • Klara

  • Naomi

  • Moon


Results are only viewable after voting.

Demoness_Kiss

Forum Fanatic
Jun 9, 2017
5,337
7,434
IDK why but playing half of the game made me had enough and come back writing feedback like this, why is the relationship is so forced and rushed ?? This game legit felt like a girl wrote the story because it is really corny and contains too many words. Please take this in consideration "SHOW DON'T TELL", you write too much people lose interest. Example, the first scene meeting the burger girl, just say few lines like "She's my colleague, pretty shy, gentle girl, and we ended up working at a same place". Let the story uncover itself as it goes, as people learn about her, they will care about her.
And then there's this part, when the “triple trouble” come to the house for the first appearance after getting introduced as "BULLIES" for the audiences. Just right after, a few clicks away, the main character dude is legit patting her head and sitting there giving her advice(?). Like what is going on, I cringed so hard at the scene I have to get up and go outside. Why are they already talking like they are long time friends, you can see the feelings in the wording as they talk, and really unfortunate it doesn't match the situation.
But wait there is more, in the next few clicks you already got Aine to completely trusted you, and comfortable sharing her secret even though she barely knows you.
Note: If i was being a little harsh my apologies, but please take consideration in the things i wrote, I can see you are cleary passionate in the game, but try putting yourself in the audience's shoes too. It can help achieve a more realistic story.
No, you're not too harsh because Niichan REALLY needs to read this, he should take a big screenshot of this, enlarge it then print it and frame it next to his monitor (or use the screenshot as a desktop-wallpaper) and read it before starting to work with occasional pauses just so he can read it again while he is working at his games.

So please, keep going ^^
 

Demoness_Kiss

Forum Fanatic
Jun 9, 2017
5,337
7,434
Don't even let them in the house, only acceptable choice ;)
in their defense tho: MC is a major drama queen

MC in the prologue: "My high-school life was hell"

MC in flashbacks: *get name-called, forced to do some menial chores for the bullies...but also was protected and had sex with one of them*

MC in Episode 6: "It (his high-school life) wasn't THAT bad"
 

OEJ

'Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas'
Moderator
Donor
Dec 9, 2017
1,844
27,620

zetsupetsu

Active Member
Dec 22, 2019
934
1,964
Haven't played this in a while forgot their names now.

I could roughly remember I was going for the girl who was his long time childhood friend, and also the blue haired sister. Can someone share if new content was made for any of them this update?
 
4.30 star(s) 159 Votes