- Jan 3, 2021
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I have no idea. I cannot speak to the thought process of the author. What I can say however is that I don't have a problem with authors writing dialogue in the vernacular, and that includes making mistakes on purpose. But at the end of the day, you need to make sure that everything else is up to snuff so that those artistic flourishes and purposeful mistakes read as intentional. As it currently is, if any of these mistakes were intentional (such as the somewhat scatterbrained order of the last few slides), it gets lost in the sea of other mistakes and ends up looking like just another mistake.
For example, in Stormside there is a girl from Russia who speaks English as a second language. Her dialogue, and her dialogue only, is written to be a bit stilted and obtuse. It is very obviously being done intentionally to convey to the audience her lack of familiarity with the language, and it works because the author can easily contrast it with all of the other native speakers who are written to speak fluently. Plus, even her dialogue is presented with correct grammar (e.g. not using a comma in place of an ellipsis) so that you don't trip over that; and can instead focus on her word choice and what it says about her.
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