VN Ren'Py My Sister & I [v0.8b] [Tortilla Dreams]

[enawnanyanamoose]

Cute game.

Story flows rather well, though I feel like the central tension of an incest plot is overcome rather quickly; MC and sis seem to put the taboo behind them very quickly with little difficulty. For a story with a focus on realism, I anticipated a bit more focus on the two trying to work through their feelings and conflict with the taboo for more runtime. The plot makes it feel like this is the resolution to a much longer story of which we're only getting the juice at the end of--that's probably what you were trying for, though. All in all, it does work--it just feels a bit fast. Housesitting/Sistersitting is probably the game in which I've seen the most internal conflict represented from the narrator in an imoutocest work and is probably my personal favorite, even if its development speed is pretty slow going.

You could use an editor, though. Lack of punctuation and a style guide make the dialogue feel clunkier than it should. The model work--particularly the posing--is fairly solid, but could use a bit of flair from things like depth of field, lighting, or unique textures to help it pop and make a distinctive style.

All in all, good work. Feels a lot less porny than a lot of other works, and I like the focus on just the one girl instead of going for some kind of harem nonsense.

 

[Gargarlley]

Cute game.

Story flows rather well, though I feel like the central tension of an incest plot is overcome rather quickly; MC and sis seem to put the taboo behind them very quickly with little difficulty. For a story with a focus on realism, I anticipated a bit more focus on the two trying to work through their feelings and conflict with the taboo for more runtime. The plot makes it feel like this is the resolution to a much longer story of which we're only getting the juice at the end of--that's probably what you were trying for, though. All in all, it does work--it just feels a bit fast. Housesitting/Sistersitting is probably the game in which I've seen the most internal conflict represented from the narrator in an imoutocest work and is probably my personal favorite, even if its development speed is pretty slow going.

You could use an editor, though. Lack of punctuation and a style guide make the dialogue feel clunkier than it should. The model work--particularly the posing--is fairly solid, but could use a bit of flair from things like depth of field, lighting, or unique textures to help it pop and make a distinctive style.

All in all, good work. Feels a lot less porny than a lot of other works, and I like the focus on just the one girl instead of going for some kind of harem nonsense.

Thank you for your review my friend

I mostly plan to focus on the relationship itself instead of the drama for the reason you said, I believe most games of this kind follow the troubled taboo from the side of the Sister and the Brother and I wished to make something more focused on the actual development of the relationship beyond that as most games tend to end when they become comfortable in their skin and lead with an ending where they have a child or something of the like

My idea was to make something that focuses on how their daily routine would be, how despite them being now lovey doey they keep being a brother and a sister. I wished to provide with a quick game you sit in and have an amicable time to scape from any worries you might have outside

I'll keep your suggestions in mind although, thank you for your interest!

PS: I've hired an artist for this update so I hope the renders will feel more professional to you as well!

 

[enawnanyanamoose]

I mostly plan to focus on the relationship itself instead of the drama for the reason you said, I believe most games of this kind follow the troubled taboo from the side of the Sister and the Brother and I wished to make something more focused on the actual development of the relationship beyond that as most games tend to end when they become comfortable in their skin and lead with an ending where they have a child or something of the like

My idea was to make something that focuses on how their daily routine would be, how despite them being now lovey doey they keep being a brother and a sister. I wished to provide with a quick game you sit in and have an amicable time to scape from any worries you might have outside

PS: I've hired an artist for this update so I hope the renders will feel more professional to you as well!

No worries! It sounds like you have a clear vision and direction for what it is you wish to pursue with this project, and that's great. I think you're doing well at achieving it so far. The development and flow of the relationship is certainly a neglected aspect when it comes to works within this... "genre." The decision to not have more drama and tension centered around the taboo will give it a more unique flair and focus, and I think you've done fairly well to make it feel more or less natural in the way you presented it. It's definitely a "comfy" story that provides a pleasant reading experience, so I think you're making solid progress towards your goal.

For stories that like to explore the dramatic elements of the incest taboo more, like the ones you mentioned, I think a failing is their treating of the taboo as just one barrier to be broken through in climactic fashion, leading to some kind of a "happily ever after" resolution once it's done and over with, treating the two as some kind of happy new couple that rides off into the sunset together. I think that's fine and all, but what initially had me particularly interested was your pitch post mentioning the focus on a more authentic development of this sort of forbidden relationship--taboos are deeply ingrained things, and tend to exist for a reason, after all, and once you break them, you're in more or less uncharted waters in a relationship with someone you've known your/their entire life. There's a lot of potential for stress, heartache, and doubt in a situation like that which could serve as the plot driver to a more drama-oriented story, even after they've gathered the courage and resolve to deviate from a normal relationship. But, that's not to say that the direction you've taken is at all wrong or implausible! While not quite what I was expecting, I enjoyed reading it, and look forward to your future progress. Thanks for taking the time to make and share your work.

 

[Gargarlley]

No worries! It sounds like you have a clear vision and direction for what it is you wish to pursue with this project, and that's great. I think you're doing well at achieving it so far. The development and flow of the relationship is certainly a neglected aspect when it comes to works within this... "genre." The decision to not have more drama and tension centered around the taboo will give it a more unique flair and focus, and I think you've done fairly well to make it feel more or less natural in the way you presented it. It's definitely a "comfy" story that provides a pleasant reading experience, so I think you're making solid progress towards your goal.

For stories that like to explore the dramatic elements of the incest taboo more, like the ones you mentioned, I think a failing is their treating of the taboo as just one barrier to be broken through in climactic fashion, leading to some kind of a "happily ever after" resolution once it's done and over with, treating the two as some kind of happy new couple that rides off into the sunset together. I think that's fine and all, but what initially had me particularly interested was your pitch post mentioning the focus on a more authentic development of this sort of forbidden relationship--taboos are deeply ingrained things, and tend to exist for a reason, after all, and once you break them, you're in more or less uncharted waters in a relationship with someone you've known your/their entire life. There's a lot of potential for stress, heartache, and doubt in a situation like that which could serve as the plot driver to a more drama-oriented story, even after they've gathered the courage and resolve to deviate from a normal relationship. But, that's not to say that the direction you've taken is at all wrong or implausible! While not quite what I was expecting, I enjoyed reading it, and look forward to your future progress. Thanks for taking the time to make and share your work.

Thank you again for writing friend as something I'd like to add after reading that

I fully agree with you that Taboos are deeply ingrained in society for a reason even, that is not something that is looked over in this VN

On the contrary my friend, it's a topic that I believe must be dealt with on a subtle way. A reason for them to be so willing to overlook it

This will be developed along the run albeit some might not catch on all the clues but they're already there to be honest

This is mostly because I believe that it's better to show than to tell, as some may say

But my main idea is that the game is something you pick and enjoy while you relax, and if you really want to get into the plot, you can find enough that it makes you think if you wish

Have a great day, and thank you for your continued interest!

PS: Chapter 5 has been released, for any who want to pick it up

 

[I_Only_Support_Real_Onez]

Mc keeps referring to the sister as brother and I put the relationships in the right place when asked at the beginning of game

 

[Gargarlley]

Mc keeps referring to the sister as brother and I put the relationships in the right place when asked at the beginning of game View attachment 1495019 View attachment 1495020

Are you sure friend? It works properly on my end, could you show me how you set it up? perhaps it's a bizarre bug

 

[Burgh917]

Are you sure friend? It works properly on my end, could you show me how you set it up? perhaps it's a bizarre bug

I've seen that before in this style of game where the hims/hers get reversed. It actually happens enough that i've learned to ignore it

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[I_Only_Support_Real_Onez]

Are you sure friend? It works properly on my end, could you show me how you set it up? perhaps it's a bizarre bug

It's only up until that point in the story. after that he refers to her as sister again

 

[I_Only_Support_Real_Onez]

I've seen that before in this style of game where the hims/hers get reversed. It actually happens enough that i've learned to ignore it

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Thats not the issue I was having. Whatever coding he is using up until that point in the game it was displaying the wrong relationships . MC is labled brother and the sister was also being labeled brother. Now If i left both relationships as roommate it wouldnt matter but i changed them so he mustve had it show for what the sister calls mc instead of what mc calls sister fo when the mc was speaking.

 

[Burgh917]

Thats not the issue I was having. Whatever coding he is using up until that point in the game it was displaying the wrong relationships . MC is labled brother and the sister was also being labeled brother. Now If i left both relationships as roommate it wouldnt matter but i changed them so he mustve had it show for what the sister calls mc instead of what mc calls sister fo when the mc was speaking.

If it was the coding i would think that would happen for everybody. That part worked fine for me, the brother was brother and sister was sister. My problem was the occasional him being called her and her being called him. Sometimes if i unzip the file again it will fix random issues like that. once in awhile things seem to get lost in translation. Not sure otherwise, not a coder .

 

[joblo9394]

As summer comes to an end, old feelings

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anew


on a more serious note game looks interesting.

 

[Gargarlley]

I've seen that before in this style of game where the hims/hers get reversed. It actually happens enough that i've learned to ignore it

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Ah! Well I will fix this one as I am releasing a hotfix today nonetheless!
Thank you very much for the headsup

Thats not the issue I was having. Whatever coding he is using up until that point in the game it was displaying the wrong relationships . MC is labled brother and the sister was also being labeled brother. Now If i left both relationships as roommate it wouldnt matter but i changed them so he mustve had it show for what the sister calls mc instead of what mc calls sister fo when the mc was speaking.

My friend, if possible could you show me an example of this in your game?
Are you sure on the first prompt "what's your relationship with the girl" you wrote sister?

Let me know any phrase where you encounter this thing so I can revise the script, as it's quite possible that I am wrong!

As summer comes to an end, old feelings

Spoiler: arise

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anew


on a more serious note game looks interesting.

Hope you enjoy it my friend!

 

[I_Only_Support_Real_Onez]

Mc keeps referring to the sister as brother and I put the relationships in the right place when asked at the beginning of game View attachment 1495019 View attachment 1495020

after this scene he refers to her as sister again. It's only up to this point in the game where he refers to her as brother.

 

[Gargarlley]

after this scene he refers to her as sister again. It's only up to this point in the game where he refers to her as brother.

could you show me how you did the setup at the beginning friend?

 

[nothingreallymattress]

could you show me how you did the setup at the beginning friend?

That seems entirely needless.

Simply searching the script for force of order reveals this line:

    mc "Yeah, my little [r3!l] is truly a force of order..."

Searching in turn for r3 shows that it's initially set with

    $ r3 = renpy.input("And you're her...", default='Roomate')

and one can easily confirm that the vast majority of uses of r3 are in s-headed lines, as expected.

Searching for exceptions to that last observation is a good way to find this kind of error; for example, there's a similar occurrence around scene 189a. I'm not going to go through the whole thing, but there are enough that it's probably worth the trouble for you to rename r and r3 to things which will make that issue more obvious to you while you're writing. (Perhaps h_a and h_o, or similar.)

 

[Gargarlley]

That seems entirely needless.

Simply searching the script for force of order reveals this line:

    mc "Yeah, my little [r3!l] is truly a force of order..."

Searching in turn for r3 shows that it's initially set with

    $ r3 = renpy.input("And you're her...", default='Roomate')

and one can easily confirm that the vast majority of uses of r3 are in s-headed lines, as expected.

Searching for exceptions to that last observation is a good way to find this kind of error; for example, there's a similar occurrence around scene 189a. I'm not going to go through the whole thing, but there are enough that it's probably worth the trouble for you to rename r and r3 to things which will make that issue more obvious to you while you're writing. (Perhaps h_a and h_o, or similar.)

My friend, r3 is the correct flag, it's the roommate tag and the other is the landlady tag!
I might be wrong but I think it's the correct way his way, if possible I'd kindly welcome your explanation as I am no coder myself

 

[nothingreallymattress]

My friend, r3 is the correct flag, it's the roommate tag and the other is the landlady tag!
I might be wrong but I think it's the correct way his way, if possible I'd kindly welcome your explanation as I am no coder myself

This is not so; the landlady variable is r2. The two "roomate" [sic!] variables are r and r3.

This can be seen in the full text of the relevant section (quoted in part above), beginning circa line 132 of script.rpy, wherein these variables are initially set:

label start:

    stop music fadeout 1.0
    $ mcv = renpy.input("What's your name?", default='Alex')
    $ r = renpy.input("What's your relationship with the girl? (She is your...)", default='Roomate')
    $ r3 = renpy.input("And you're her...", default='Roomate')
    $ sn = renpy.input("Also, what's your [r]'s name?", default='Claire')
    $ r2 = renpy.input("What's your relationship with [m] (She is your...)?" , default='Landlady')
    jump checkname

The variable names are perhaps needlessly cryptic, but I would hope that this code is not otherwise so arcane as to be illegible to non-coders.

 

[Gargarlley]

This is not so; the landlady variable is r2. The two "roomate" [sic!] variables are r and r3.

This can be seen in the full text of the relevant section (quoted in part above), beginning circa line 132 of script.rpy, wherein these variables are initially set:

label start:

    stop music fadeout 1.0
    $ mcv = renpy.input("What's your name?", default='Alex')
    $ r = renpy.input("What's your relationship with the girl? (She is your...)", default='Roomate')
    $ r3 = renpy.input("And you're her...", default='Roomate')
    $ sn = renpy.input("Also, what's your [r]'s name?", default='Claire')
    $ r2 = renpy.input("What's your relationship with [m] (She is your...)?" , default='Landlady')
    jump checkname

The variable names are perhaps needlessly cryptic, but I would hope that this code is not otherwise so arcane as to be illegible to non-coders.

Oh you're right! I need to fix the line you said then, thank you!

 

[Fappable One]

I see Chapter 5 is out on Patreon. Any chance it's coming here this week?
F95's still currently dealing with proxy issues so updating it shortly pby still risky, unfortunately

 

[Gargarlley]

I see Chapter 5 is out on Patreon. Any chance it's coming here this week?
F95's still currently dealing with proxy issues so updating it shortly pby still risky, unfortunately

I can't even quote people right now on here, and I like replying to people when I make an update so I can take proper notes on what people think about it!
But as soon as the issues are fixed I'll see about making a release date

Although right now I'm doing the Cyberpunk side story so I'm pretty obsessed with that