VN Ren'Py Abandoned My Virgin Bride [v0.13] [Sukebe Sensei]

[Spawn420]

I don't have the end game all fleshed out yet, but there's many possible endings on the table! I'm interested in jealousy and competition for girls. Sometimes that means the triumph of victory, and other times the agony of defeat. And it also means antagonists do things the protagonist (and by extension the audience) don't like.

As for the MC being a beta, yep. He's currently a perfect gentleman who would never leverage power over a lady in need. He's got some life-lessons in his near future. I'm more interested in seeing him grow as a character than in him starting out a fully-fledged alpha.



I see the Vanilla routes as being more straightforward competition for and seduction of a girl. The Rocky Road will be pedal-to-the-metal toward various kinds of bonkers corruption. As an ice cream connoisseur, I find I enjoy both flavors depending on my mood.

In some parts of the world, there is something even blander than vanilla: "milk-flavored ice cream." I don't waste my time with that, but I'm glad it exists for those who enjoy it.

I have no problem to compete for the girl in the vanilla routes and even no problem with the mild groping as long as if we play our cards right she will slowly turn into ours only and that we wont be exposed to extreme ntr content on the vanilla innocent angel route (since this seems to be the most vanilla among the current 6)

 

[anon89]

its another one of those 3d things again. at least the model looks good in this one

 

[Sukebe_S]

Great advice and thanks for the feedback!

Okay, played. Pretty cool, but needs lot of work.

Definitely. I still have much to learn, both in DAZ, Renpy, and general VN storytelling.

First of all: If you're trying to make a game where decisions have weight on the story, make them less obvious. The "make this or she will be a slut" or "make that and she will be your slut" is cool for orientation, but it's not something that people usually do.

That's a solid point. I hope to make the decisions difficult, and their ramifications intricate. It's a fantasy-world, of course, but if it gets too absurd and sloppy, it'll generate eyerolls instead of the other physiological responses I'm hoping for.

The second point is pretty basic: The multi-path stuff is pretty cool on the paper, but that also means that you will have three times more work to deliver an update. On that point, the ideal is to make one main path and make some changes here and there to save your time on the rendering. As someone which is developing his own project, this kind of stuff is really a pain in the ass.

Yeah, I hear you. If you look at the plans I've detailed in an above post, you'll see that this thing is going to be expansive and the multiple threads won't intersect very much. This will indeed be more time-consuming.

What I'm considering is smaller, but more frequent updates. For example, the next update will be small: the conclusion of the "Gifted Tease" Day 1 thread. The update after that could be a big one--Day 2 for all three personalities--but that would take awhile. Alternatively, the update could also be Day 2 for just the "Innocent Angel" threads, for example. That shouldn't take as long.

Right now I'm leaning toward the latter update strategy--smaller, more frequent. But I might be convinced to change if good arguments exist.

Well, since your game from what I heard is an spiritual successor for an abandoned project, I wish you good luck on it, and I reccomend you to make your own patreon to make the people interesting on your story to support. As I said before, I'm not someone that's fond on the netorare, but the character is beautiful enough and the premise is good to be followed.

Thanks again for the kind words! And huge thanks for saying that NTR isn't your thing without turning into a frothing, spluttering maniac . Hopefully I'll be able to put enough content in the game that you like to keep players like you following.

 

[Legendary101]

"In "My Virgin Bride", you play a troubled young genius"

Quote lifted from the description of the first post. Nothing about your character screams genius. Every idiot move is glossed over and jealousy needs to be mentioned a lot to try to explain stupidity.

So she comes from a traditional family believing to save herself for marriage and tells you all about how she took it seriously in the story laid down. Yet now has no problem marrying you and disbanding that for the green card and you are supposed to be a genius......

O and she is going to some creeper church as part of her traditional background also and her shear respect for marriage ??

Story is a shambles and everything is just fobbed away. Here in lies the problem I see time and again in these games when the ground work for a decent story with depth is not there. When you try to be a game for everything. Sadly usually one route seeps into the others or hints of its existence, because you need to lay the groundwork for the other routes and lead to the choices so they are inter woven into it.

Poor choice of music, scripting for story and never a need to explain anything in detail, why something is happening, or why even when you select certain answers your MC is acting like an idiot or saying things a creeper would say or an idiot, the story just jams it in there until it fits.

I will give an early game example, so this is early game, so no need to cover it up, as you will run into it fast. The whole park scene, no matter what you are looking for out of that scene, it is poorly structured. You choose vanilla and MC character stands there like an idiot letting some old dude grope the wife and talk about a seminar to take her on and she even suggests you don't need to go. Also, your character says you are getting aroused, like the level of flawed logic here ...... my god.

Now the genius which is supposedly your MC could simply state as follows, get your hand off my wife. Honey can I talk to you one second dear wife, walk a few steps away and go yea this is not the marriage I thought we would have, you can go with them and when you return your bags will be outside the door and the divorce papers will be on the way. All you have to say then is drop a hint to the authorities she must of been using you for the green card. Now this asserts dominance and clearly asserts what you want out of the marriage to your wife. That is called a different clear path as she will choose to stay with you and then that is called a route to work on based on some logic. Not for your character to stand there watching your wife get groped and just mumble you will go on the retreat.

All in all further backing up my point what happens when lazy story telling comes into play and you muddy the waters jamming all the routes into one path, they start to blur and you see traces of ntr on a vanilla path. Just poorly worked and lazy. The scene after this with the "wife" chat at home and I could break it down very easily why it is devoid of logic and stupid things happen in that conversation because it needs to happen. Also, I don't want to spoil too much making points. I believe I have said enough.

I didn't enjoy it as the story does not ring true and things happen because they need to happen no matter how flawed the foundation it is built on. The foundations need to be built to support what you are really trying to aim for.

 

[gegulingan]

quick question, why there are no corruption tag?

 

[Sukebe_S]

quick question, why there are no corruption tag?

I'm trying to fix the tags, but I don't know how... I also want to add a "virgin" tag.

Hmmm....

 

[RedPillBlues]

Don't know why this game has a romance tag when every option forces you to watch other dudes lay their hands on your fiancee.

 

[Gold613]

Holy crap you finally pushed out, we at 0.7 already ? jesus. Anyways downloading now and giving it a go and also props on a good and unique name

 

[Sukebe_S]

Holy crap you finally pushed out, we at 0.7 already ? jesus. Anyways downloading now and giving it a go and also props on a good and unique name

Thanks for checking it out!

And it's actually 0.07... got a looooooooong way to go!

 

[Deleted member 1399911]

Yeah! I tried to add the tag, but I'm too stupid to figure out how to do it... I need to call F95Zone tech support....

I'm trying to fix the tags, but I don't know how... I also want to add a "virgin" tag.

Hmmm....

Can report the OP saying/explaining it's missing tags, though might help more if you get the 'Game Developer' title.

 

[Hemlok]

Great! Man, we've been waiting so long for this...Hope more update coming soon.

 

[EdPokol]

This is an amazing start. Interesting and original setting (well done!). Already different storylines to choose from. Though visually not bad at all (I like the different ways my wife dresses) there's room for improvement. Looking forward to how this all will unfold.

Good job Sukebe_Sensei

 

[longjohngold]

This is an interesting start ... but I wonder if the dev might be stretching themselves a little thin with the 3 personalities as they're basically 3 entirely independent storylines (each I presume with multiple variations), and maybe it'd be better to get one finished and then work on a second and third...

But I'll give it another whirl if/when I see a bunch more content has been added.

 

[PonSama]

yessssss this is a dream come true

 

[disimulated]

Great start Sukebe Sensei! I've played most of it and I'm liking what you've done with it. Looking forward to the next release.

 

[victkh]

Good start, like your story and writing more than 3diddly nonsense storytelling

 

[215303j]

Ehm, maybe stupid question, but is the NTR avoidable, or not?

 

[Sukebe_S]

Ehm, maybe stupid question, but is the NTR avoidable, or not?

Not a stupid question. Clearly, NTR will be a big theme of the game. I like the conflicting energy that is brought about by jealousy and voyeurism. I've noticed some games have big flashing lights that clearly-marked decision points carry NTR ramifications. Some games even have a switch on at the beginning to turn off NTR for the duration of the game.

I'm not planning on doing anything like that. I realize that will make lots of people angry, and it will make many others never try the game. I'm OK with that. I wish those souls best of luck in finding games better suited to their unique kinks.

Just like in real life, NTR is never 100% avoidable. That said, I'm not interested in torturing the MC down every narrative path. If he plays his cards right, he's gonna get some action with his lovely bride. BUT there will be prices to pay, and the road won't be easy.

Thanks for the question!

 

[215303j]

Thanks for the question!

Thanks for the answer!

It's just that some games make it seem that the NTR could be avoidable in the beginning, but after a couple of updates it turns out it's simply not. (Pandora's Box being a "good" example of that).

That will upset people.

As I see it, the NTR can be initiated by the wife, but then she must be really dissatisfied and/or have no moral compass.
Or it can be initiated by another man (e.g. rape) but then the MC must be strong or smart enough to prevent it.

These things are more or less easy enough to spot and avoid, in a choice-based game.
If you are genuinely nice and caring for your wife, she should not have a reason to cheat.
If you avoid dangerous situations and/or are strong or smart enough to get out of them, you don't need to worry about someone else forcing your wife to do something.

I do like challenges and it doesn't always have to be fully straightforward but if it is not avoidable that the wife will have sex with someone besides the MC, that makes it a different type of game. Besides, if your wife will have sex with another man, you (the MC) likely missed a couple of steps/signals that usually come before the sex.

 

[prajnapayne]

hopes there are some NTR endings