VN Ren'Py Abandoned My Work Life [v0.01] [N L P]

3.00 star(s) 1 Vote
Discussion Reviews (1)
Leo90

Leo90

Newbie
Feb 17, 2018
84
49
can't say much about the story but it have potential.
probably just me but the text is a bit confusing to read, maybe punctuation will do some good.
 
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batman666

batman666

Member
Donor
Jun 18, 2017
277
564
+ Good render quality

+- HUD is alright
+- Having a black MC is a nice change, but both he and Vicky kinda look like two people from a Brazzers clip - everything perfect to the max, no real faults or natural "bumps" anywhere

- Quite mediore Engrish in the beginning, but gets better throughout
- I know these games aren't about high morales and all that, but the introduction is pretty silly xD Telling us how a baby died, followed up by "ENJOY" in upper case letters
- C'mon, stop this trend of doing pop quizzes where we just guess and roll back if we're wrong. Doesn't bring any satisfaction. It would if those things (favorite drink, movie etc.) had been talked about before that scene. Reminds me of other games that even force me to google the capital of Eritrea so I can bang my teacher
- The game is 800 MB and only has 150 images, each of them being 2-3 or more MB of size. I'd recommend compressing them into webp or something like that. While I downloaded, I was looking forward to an hour or so of gameplay based on the file size, but I ended up finishing it after like... 5 minutes max.

Almost no choices, quite the "pro porn" setting (everyone is muscular or has huge boobs and butts), only two characters, no real sexy time. For now, I'm not really impressed by this. Introducing more girls as alternatives and compressing the images could be the first two thing that the devs could improve on. Still, like I noted above, the render quality is great. So just based on that, I think there's potential.
 
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botc76

botc76

The Crawling Chaos, Bringer of Strange Joy
Donor
Oct 23, 2016
4,422
13,207
xXwankerXx said:
So tits are a No-No but the dude's D is ok ?? :LOL: You know that's just a game, tits don't kill people but that dick will give the lady a hole in her hole/s, if you'll excuse my explicit phrase.
Click to expand...
They could maybe suffocate you? Tits can be a danger too. ;)
 
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NLP

NLP

Newbie
Game Developer
Apr 9, 2018
37
26
batman666 said:
+ Good render quality

+- HUD is alright
+- Having a black MC is a nice change, but both he and Vicky kinda look like two people from a Brazzers clip - everything perfect to the max, no real faults or natural "bumps" anywhere

- Quite mediore Engrish in the beginning, but gets better throughout
- I know these games aren't about high morales and all that, but the introduction is pretty silly xD Telling us how a baby died, followed up by "ENJOY" in upper case letters
- C'mon, stop this trend of doing pop quizzes where we just guess and roll back if we're wrong. Doesn't bring any satisfaction. It would if those things (favorite drink, movie etc.) had been talked about before that scene. Reminds me of other games that even force me to google the capital of Eritrea so I can bang my teacher
- The game is 800 MB and only has 150 images, each of them being 2-3 or more MB of size. I'd recommend compressing them into webp or something like that. While I downloaded, I was looking forward to an hour or so of gameplay based on the file size, but I ended up finishing it after like... 5 minutes max.

Almost no choices, quite the "pro porn" setting (everyone is muscular or has huge boobs and butts), only two characters, no real sexy time. For now, I'm not really impressed by this. Introducing more girls as alternatives and compressing the images could be the first two thing that the devs could improve on. Still, like I noted above, the render quality is great. So just based on that, I think there's potential.
Click to expand...
THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT BRO ON THE QUIZ YOU MISSED IT BEFORE SHE REPLY'S I SHOULD SLAP HIM SHE SAID TWO THINGS CHECK IT OUT AND AS FOR WORDING THE STORY I'LL GET BETTER AS I GO JUST LIKE YOU SAID AND SO WILL THE STORY MORE CHARACTERS WILL BE INTRODUCED IN 0.02 YOUR ON A RAMP WITH ME AND WHERE BOTH GOING UP THE RAMP AND THE HIGHER WE GO THE MORE WILL SEE SO THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR TIME AND PLEASE CONTINUE TO GIVE ME INPUT JUST MAKES ME WORK HARDED TO MAKE THIS A GOOD OR EVEN GREAT STORY. NLP
 
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batman666

batman666

Member
Donor
Jun 18, 2017
277
564
NLP said:
THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT BRO ON THE QUIZ YOU MISSED IT BEFORE SHE REPLY'S I SHOULD SLAP HIM SHE SAID TWO THINGS CHECK IT OUT AND AS FOR WORDING THE STORY I'LL GET BETTER AS I GO JUST LIKE YOU SAID AND SO WILL THE STORY MORE CHARACTERS WILL BE INTRODUCED IN 0.02 YOUR ON A RAMP WITH ME AND WHERE BOTH GOING UP THE RAMP AND THE HIGHER WE GO THE MORE WILL SEE SO THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR TIME AND PLEASE CONTINUE TO GIVE ME INPUT JUST MAKES ME WORK HARDED TO MAKE THIS A GOOD OR EVEN GREAT STORY. NLP
Click to expand...
OKAY
 
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RogueKnightUK

RogueKnightUK

Co-Writer: Retrieving The Past
Game Developer
Jul 10, 2018
913
2,402
Please, please, just take a minute or two to read this
You must be registered to see the links
 
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I

IRLover

Newbie
Aug 1, 2018
66
69
The game could be good in my opinion, just alone by those Models, but those sentences randomly written CAPS LOCK I just couldn't bring myself to read them.
 
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hashcheckin

hashcheckin

Member
Dec 22, 2017
209
528
Please do figure out how the hell apostrophes are used before you start writing things for money
 
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WaltS

WaltS

Si vis pacem para bellum
Donor
Apr 4, 2018
2,078
2,527
Okay so I saw this in Latest Updates and went like 'Jay!'.


Some impressions:

+ New story - will that tie in with the demo somewhere down the road?

+ Nice renders

+ Models used are great and kinda new which is refreshing. Liked the MC in the demo, still do. Seems like a regular guy I'd
invite for BBQ.

+ New locations. At least I haven't seen them yet.



- Need to start a new game - old saves from the demo don't work / won't work (throwing exceptions).

- Wording, spelling, story and punctuation.
Sorry NLP but you really need a proofreader, even better - get an editor. Honestly!
First impressions ain't good to be honest - you introduce a back story w/ a child that dies only to then tell people to (ENJOY).
Making me as the player go >WTF< ...

IF you absolutely have to use this back story at least expand on it. Or - in case the dead child isn't an important matter in
the story later on (which would be a violation of the rule of
You must be registered to see the links
) - just leave it and explain that they have been
childhood friends / had been an item since college or some such.

- Stop the YELLING in your posts and in-game except for when it serves a purpose. The way you're using it now it's not
working (politely put).

- Get a developer tag from the mods / staff.

- Don't play towards / use racial stereotypes.
That only really works in movie pictures (and even then it's corny most of the times). No real 'ppl of color' I work with every
day act like that / behave that way. Repeat: No one!

- What's the story?
Okay it's only a v0.0.1 but then again even the demo had more of a backstory. That 'my boss creeps me out' story of the
MC's love interest / FwB doesn't really fill those shoes. Give us a reason to get invested in the story. The way it's now doesn't
work. And a cliffhanger kind of ending in the middle of a shower? Come on ...


And please don't get this the wrong way. It IS meant as constructive criticism, otherwise I wouldn't have invested more time in writing this than it took me to play it. I see potential in this so would like to see where this'll go.

Best of luck!
 
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NLP

NLP

Newbie
Game Developer
Apr 9, 2018
37
26
WaltS said:
Okay so I saw this in Latest Updates and went like 'Jay!'.


Some impressions:

+ New story - will that tie in with the demo somewhere down the road?

+ Nice renders

+ Models used are great and kinda new which is refreshing. Liked the MC in the demo, still do. Seems like a regular guy I'd
invite for BBQ.

+ New locations. At least I haven't seen them yet.



- Need to start a new game - old saves from the demo don't work / won't work (throwing exceptions).

- Wording, spelling, story and punctuation.
Sorry NLP but you really need a proofreader, even better - get an editor. Honestly!
First impressions ain't good to be honest - you introduce a back story w/ a child that dies only to then tell people to (ENJOY).
Making me as the player go >WTF< ...

IF you absolutely have to use this back story at least expand on it. Or - in case the dead child isn't an important matter in
the story later on (which would be a violation of the rule of
You must be registered to see the links
) - just leave it and explain that they have been
childhood friends / had been an item since college or some such.

- Stop the YELLING in your posts and in-game except for when it serves a purpose. The way you're using it now it's not
working (politely put).

- Get a developer tag from the mods / staff.

- Don't play towards / use racial stereotypes.
That only really works in movie pictures (and even then it's corny most of the times). No real 'ppl of color' I work with every
day act like that / behave that way. Repeat: No one!

- What's the story?
Okay it's only a v0.0.1 but then again even the demo had more of a backstory. That 'my boss creeps me out' story of the
MC's love interest / FwB doesn't really fill those shoes. Give us a reason to get invested in the story. The way it's now doesn't
work. And a cliffhanger kind of ending in the middle of a shower? Come on ...


And please don't get this the wrong way. It IS meant as constructive criticism, otherwise I wouldn't have invested more time in writing this than it took me to play it. I see potential in this so would like to see where this'll go.

Best of luck!
Click to expand...
Hey BRO I never take criticism the wrong way so thank you, you are giving me just what I asked for a true point of view that is the only way to make something better or find out what could be done better and then I give it my full perspective before I reply or react to what was said or done or even needs to be done therefore I think before I react unlike some people so thanks again.
 
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3.00 star(s) 1 Vote