VN Ren'Py Netori A Live [v0.25] [Ulith]

[jampfl]

Communication allows me to reflect on myself and think about things from more perspectives.
If it's a purely offensive response, then I simply won't pay attention to it, such as the one above, it doesn't make any sense.

Do you have any plans to add sounds (moans, etc.) to the sex scenes in the near future? I feel that it enhances the overall experience for most people like me.

 

[Ulith]

Do you have any plans to add sounds (moans, etc.) to the sex scenes in the near future? I feel that it enhances the overall experience for most people like me.

Most games use Koikatsu's default audio.
Maybe I prefer novels or manga and I don't really care about the audio.
I would recommend the Japanese ASMR.

 

[jampfl]

Most games use Koikatsu's default audio.
Maybe I prefer novels or manga and I don't really care about the audio.
I would recommend the Japanese ASMR.

Fair enough. I wish you the best of luck with your project.

 

[megamano]

I know these things take time but damn, new stuff done with so fast. And now, another month of waiting.

 

[xsikal]

IMHO, a game that can't stand on its own and only works story-wise if you've ready the original story it references is a pretty self-defeating concept. Best of luck to the dev though and thank you to them for pointing that fact out in the dev notes so I can skip a game that otherwise seemed right up my alley.

 

[AverageEnthusiast]

I'm gonna start with an apology, I didn't actually play the game when I made my first comment.

Anyway, since this is a VN of sorts, I'd like to throw my opinions and thoughts on the writing.

Spoiler: Review

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The story has the potential to be good. The start isn't the strongest, but hopefully it can build from there.

Do keep up the good work.

 

[Ulith]

I'm gonna start with an apology, I didn't actually play the game when I made my first comment.

Anyway, since this is a VN of sorts, I'd like to throw my opinions and thoughts on the writing.

Spoiler: Review

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The story has the potential to be good. The start isn't the strongest, but hopefully it can build from there.

Do keep up the good work.

First of all, thanks for the long comment.
I can't be perfect, and some of the plot implausibilities are necessary for plot advancement.
I don't know if it's my expression that's wrong, but in any case some of your ideas are at odds with mine.

Spoiler

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[Vladimir_xyz]

befor i do play this how long is it with current update? i hate when i grow to like something and it ends right away

 

[LightningNexus]

Spoiler

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As much as I understand time constraints, I think this will probably be a sticking point for a lot of players that you're going to have to resolve in one way or another if you don't want to keep receiving the same complaints.

Not everyone feels the same appeal from a particular fetish as other people do. Some people playing a netori/stealing game might just like the thought of a woman 'giving in' to another man, or to the pleasure a guy gives to her. That's totally fine, and if that's all they're after, then they're probably satisfied with what you've put out so far!

But for others, the appeal of netori is in part the 'degradation and corruption'. For that part of the audience, the appeal isn't just sleeping with Tohka once- the appeal of the story is in actually stealing Tohka.

A part of what some people find appealing about netori is the teasing around the 'original' love interest not understanding what's happening, and also the corruption happening around that original love interest. Even once they've slept with the protagonist and entered into that corruption phase, there's still a lot of emotional distance that can be exploited between Tohka and Shido to appeal to this part of the audience.

The plot of Netori-A-Live has so far been breakneck, it hasn't concerned itself with whatever is happening around the girl who's currently being corrupted. That's fine in that you want to focus on the girls sleeping with the protagonist, but it's missing out on a big part of the appeal of the fetish for a big chunk of the audience.

Of course, if you don't care about that, that's fine too. I just think it would be a shame, because so far I actually really like what you're doing with Yoshino. That's an element where you've leaned into that appeal; the protagonist got involved with her separately to Shido, and she's already giving up her 'firsts' with her first kiss to Shido in a way that is leaving her relationship with him a bit emptier than it otherwise is. Keeping her relationship with the protagonist secret is appealing there as well.

 

[Ulith]

befor i do play this how long is it with current update? i hate when i grow to like something and it ends right away

I'll do my best to make it in two weeks. Even though this version seems to have taken a month, I've only had two weeks to actually work on it.

 

[Ulith]

As much as I understand time constraints, I think this will probably be a sticking point for a lot of players that you're going to have to resolve in one way or another if you don't want to keep receiving the same complaints.

Not everyone feels the same appeal from a particular fetish as other people do. Some people playing a netori/stealing game might just like the thought of a woman 'giving in' to another man, or to the pleasure a guy gives to her. That's totally fine, and if that's all they're after, then they're probably satisfied with what you've put out so far!

But for others, the appeal of netori is in part the 'degradation and corruption'. For that part of the audience, the appeal isn't just sleeping with Tohka once- the appeal of the story is in actually stealing Tohka.

A part of what some people find appealing about netori is the teasing around the 'original' love interest not understanding what's happening, and also the corruption happening around that original love interest. Even once they've slept with the protagonist and entered into that corruption phase, there's still a lot of emotional distance that can be exploited between Tohka and Shido to appeal to this part of the audience.

The plot of Netori-A-Live has so far been breakneck, it hasn't concerned itself with whatever is happening around the girl who's currently being corrupted. That's fine in that you want to focus on the girls sleeping with the protagonist, but it's missing out on a big part of the appeal of the fetish for a big chunk of the audience.

Of course, if you don't care about that, that's fine too. I just think it would be a shame, because so far I actually really like what you're doing with Yoshino. That's an element where you've leaned into that appeal; the protagonist got involved with her separately to Shido, and she's already giving up her 'firsts' with her first kiss to Shido in a way that is leaving her relationship with him a bit emptier than it otherwise is. Keeping her relationship with the protagonist secret is appealing there as well.

I don't know what I can do. Just at least 3 stories centered around Tohka for a short time after Origami's chapter is done.

 

[LightningNexus]

I don't know what I can do. Just at least 3 stories centered around Tohka for a short time after Origami's chapter is done.

I've never made a game myself, just written a lot of things, so there's only so much I can say in response without just condescending about things I don't know. Please know that's not my intention, I'm just talking about scene construction.

My advice would be to look towards integrating the characters into 'downtime scenes'. You don't have to move straight from corrupting Tohka into corrupting Origami. You can have some scenes where the two settle down and interact with each other, with the protagonist, and with Shido and Kotori in the background.

This would be a good place to introduce the characters to people who haven't watched Date A Live, and generally to have scenes with the girls outside of direct corruption scenes. There's a lot of NTR games that have these kinds of scenes to them.

Scenes of the characters hanging out and paying more attention to the protagonist than to Shido, scenes of them doing sexual things behind Shido's back, that kind of thing. How does Tohka feel about the protagonist fucking Origami as well? How does Tohka feel about the whole 'family' thing now, and how does she view Shido? Does Shido ever want to go and do stuff with Tohka, but she's already made plans to go out with the protagonist and do stuff (and does that leave Shido feeling jealous, and how does Tohka feel about that- does she kind of get off on abandoning the guy who 'abandoned' her when she was feeling down)? Does Kotori ever try to invite Tohka to a movie night with them, but Tohka's already "busy" with the protagonist? How about Origami- would Shido ever try to rekindle that relationship with her, only for her to "turn him down" because she's with the protagonist already (fucking him while on the phone, for example)?

Etc.

I don't know your plot, I'm not the writer. At the end of the day, it's your game, so what you write is what you write and the readers really can just shut up and say thanks; you're the one putting in the effort to make the game, so criticism can only really be so fair. I just thought I'd talk a bit about why some netori fans might be a bit disappointed and decide to comment about it, that's all.

 

[Ulith]

I've never made a game myself, just written a lot of things, so there's only so much I can say in response without just condescending about things I don't know. Please know that's not my intention, I'm just talking about scene construction.

My advice would be to look towards integrating the characters into 'downtime scenes'. You don't have to move straight from corrupting Tohka into corrupting Origami. You can have some scenes where the two settle down and interact with each other, with the protagonist, and with Shido and Kotori in the background.

This would be a good place to introduce the characters to people who haven't watched Date A Live, and generally to have scenes with the girls outside of direct corruption scenes. There's a lot of NTR games that have these kinds of scenes to them.

Scenes of the characters hanging out and paying more attention to the protagonist than to Shido, scenes of them doing sexual things behind Shido's back, that kind of thing. How does Tohka feel about the protagonist fucking Origami as well? How does Tohka feel about the whole 'family' thing now, and how does she view Shido? Does Shido ever want to go and do stuff with Tohka, but she's already made plans to go out with the protagonist and do stuff (and does that leave Shido feeling jealous, and how does Tohka feel about that- does she kind of get off on abandoning the guy who 'abandoned' her when she was feeling down)? Does Kotori ever try to invite Tohka to a movie night with them, but Tohka's already "busy" with the protagonist? How about Origami- would Shido ever try to rekindle that relationship with her, only for her to "turn him down" because she's with the protagonist already (fucking him while on the phone, for example)?

Etc.

I don't know your plot, I'm not the writer. At the end of the day, it's your game, so what you write is what you write and the readers really can just shut up and say thanks; you're the one putting in the effort to make the game, so criticism can only really be so fair. I just thought I'd talk a bit about why some netori fans might be a bit disappointed and decide to comment about it, that's all.

I understand what you're saying.
But the bottom line is that it takes time to do anything. Some of the things I haven't made are not because I can't, I don't know or I don't want to.
My first goal right now is to finish the Origami chapters as soon as possible, and then make Kurumi, which a lot of people are really looking forward to. and then I can get to work on the smaller stories one by one.
Whatever I want to do, I need to do it after I finish Origami and create Kurumi. I could indeed discover more about Tohka, Origami, and Kotori, but that would make Kurumi and Mana's arrival a few months late, would you guys really want that?

Thank you for the viable options. Many players simply point out what they see as bugs and flaws, and I'm not that smart to know what to do.

 

[LightningNexus]

Whatever I want to do, I need to do it after I finish Origami and create Kurumi. I could indeed discover more about Tohka, Origami, and Kotori, but that would make Kurumi and Mana's arrival a few months late, would you guys really want that?

I obviously can't speak for the entire audience, but I wouldn't mind other characters' arrival taking longer if it meant digging more into the girls already present in-game, personally. I haven't actually watched Date-A-Live, so I don't have any pre-existing attachment to Tohka; I'd like it if you could make me care about her and like her.

Thank you for the viable options. Many players simply point out what they see as bugs and flaws, and I'm not that smart to know what to do.

It can seem a little rude to tell a game creator what to do to fix what's perceived as an issue. At the end of the day, the game is your creative vision, not that of the audience, so it's poor behaviour to demand you make changes to fit what a particular audience member would like more.

I've played a few of these games, and I like to think I'm a fairly creative person overall, so I have a few ideas on different scenes and stuff, but again it's your creative project. I just think it's a shame if the pace is left as it currently is, because there's scenes in there like the Yoshino introductory scene that tells me you've got talent, and I'd love to see the best version of what you can make here.

 

[Ulith]

I obviously can't speak for the entire audience, but I wouldn't mind other characters' arrival taking longer if it meant digging more into the girls already present in-game, personally. I haven't actually watched Date-A-Live, so I don't have any pre-existing attachment to Tohka; I'd like it if you could make me care about her and like her.

It can seem a little rude to tell a game creator what to do to fix what's perceived as an issue. At the end of the day, the game is your creative vision, not that of the audience, so it's poor behaviour to demand you make changes to fit what a particular audience member would like more.

I've played a few of these games, and I like to think I'm a fairly creative person overall, so I have a few ideas on different scenes and stuff, but again it's your creative project. I just think it's a shame if the pace is left as it currently is, because there's scenes in there like the Yoshino introductory scene that tells me you've got talent, and I'd love to see the best version of what you can make here.

I mean I'll still dig deeper into other characters, but after finishing Kurumi, which is the first stage of the game.

 

[mdp2p]

Thank you for the update! Time to prepare green tea and butter cookies