VN Ren'Py New Horizon [v0.3] [KawaiiSukebe]

[Kaos_Theory]

I tried the new version, I was a bit sad to find out that v0.1 is still the same with Ayae using the threat of using a picture to propagate a lie about the mc in order to get him to do whatever she wants, Dev, if you're going to keep that part in the game, at least do us all a favour and remove the lines where Ayase pretends she's some noble hero saving people, because no noble hero would use tactics like that to get ahead.

I've just moved into 0.15 territory and will see how that goes but so far the story up to this new content has been disappointing, (I'm looking at you Ayase storyline, she flipflops from hero to blackmailer and back to hero again like she's a leaf in the wind) I'm at least hoping that Ayae has a massive character change and apologises and retracts her stupid attempt at threatening the mc, but I guess we'll see.

 

[kingmountvic]

I tried the new version, I was a bit sad to find out that v0.1 is still the same with Ayae using the threat of using a picture to propagate a lie about the mc in order to get him to do whatever she wants, Dev, if you're going to keep that part in the game, at least do us all a favour and remove the lines where Ayase pretends she's some noble hero saving people, because no noble hero would use tactics like that to get ahead.

I've just moved into 0.15 territory and will see how that goes but so far the story up to this new content has been disappointing, (I'm looking at you Ayase storyline, she flipflops from hero to blackmailer and back to hero again like she's a leaf in the wind) I'm at least hoping that Ayae has a massive character change and apologises and retracts her stupid attempt at threatening the mc, but I guess we'll see.

Ayae already told mc the view she holds to see her career and her situation as a vigillante,she herself is an heir of such rich and powerful family so she has a fame to maintain,and exploding her identity will do harm to her family and her friend,the villian she fight will directly go against her family or her friends. at the moment she blackmailed mc, she has no reason to bet her all just because mc said he is innocent or he dont want to indulge.what about mc finding it profitable and change his mind? I think the real problem is Ayae maybe a little bold to attack mc without judging the situation,which makes it normal to dislike her in the FPS point of view,but it can still be understood for the same explation above.in fact, i think its more like a pro for me because it improve the authenticity of the background of a superpower society and a girl knowing to protect herself from being exploit.

 

[Kaos_Theory]

Ayae already told mc the view she holds to see her career and her situation as a vigillante,she herself is an heir of such rich and powerful family so she has a fame to maintain,and exploding her identity will do harm to her family and her friend,the villian she fight will directly go against her family or her friends. at the moment she blackmailed mc, she has no reason to bet her all just because mc said he is innocent or he dont want to indulge.what about mc finding it profitable and change his mind? I think the real problem is Ayae maybe a little bold to attack mc without judging the situation,which makes it normal to dislike her in the FPS point of view,but it can still be understood for the same explation above.in fact, i think its more like a pro for me because it improve the authenticity of the background of a superpower society and a girl knowing to protect herself from being exploit.

Just because her family is rich does not give her any rights to blackmail anyone, that is a bs reason and hiding behind that reason just gives less importance to her character as a 'hero'
Doesn't matter if she fully believes me or not, all she had to do was dangle the bait of his father in front of him without the blackmail and she would have achieved the same result without looking like a heartless bi*ch.
In no way is what she does to the mc normal, especially after she finds out he's innocent and only stepped in to save her friend, she cares so much about her own image that she's willing to take advantage of our mc to further her own goals.

Also in a previous post, one commenter said that the dev on their discord mentioned they would change the interactions and allow the mc to have more agency and backbone in that scene, which I did not see at all.

This is of course just my opinion but to me it's valid, whether it holds the same value for others I couldn't say.

 

[_Fabi_]

thx

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

The renders are good, but honestly, the story felt wrong, the MC (who by the way has this 'power' that is never mentioned/covered or explained in any way shape or form, but still uses it and successfully) evades every swipe of the blade/punch of the fists, yet still acts like a wimpy weakling who backs down when verbally confronted.


Then you have the Aya chick (the blade-wielding girlie) who upon seeing the scene, immediately assumes the worst and then after attacking unprovoked, decides that even after the mc saves her from being abused, she's then going to blackmail the mc, and of course, the mc being the weak-willed, simple-minded moron that he is, does not even comment on it or tell them to f**k off, I'm sorry but that's so far-fetched that it just drags you out of the story.


Nobody in their right mind would just give into some 'self-proclaimed hero' who claims to help people and protect innocents while at the same time blackmailing someone to not only keep them quiet but also to force them to work for them, that is what I would consider totally vile and villainous behaviour. If she is meant to be a hero, then that kind of action is only going to force people to hate her character completely.


I wanted to like this story because it has potential, but as it is right now, it's simply not there. Well, the story is OK, up until the alley scene, then it all goes t*ts up and loses its pace and plot.

THIS is so good!(like I'm agreeing with you)


Problem is that the blackmailing is so much worse when you go near the end of v0.1:

Short Version (without spoilers): there are a lot of issues with the blackmail which most of those issues are related to "a good person doesn't/wouldn't blackmail", and how Ayase is worshipped by everyone for seemingly no reason, how simp is MC, and how every Japanese word must be explained to people who are Japanese...why placing the story in Japan then? I mean Ayase's gang even has a name that must be read in a peculiar way and every kanji has its own meaning...like yeah MC is totally going to write the gang's name on some document, so he must have to know which kanji he has to use to write it properly.

Spoiler: Beware of Spoilers and big text-wall(XD)

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[HunterSeeker]

Is there a list of music used in the game? Cuz it's a really nice selection.

 

[etool]

I do not get why you people are all hung up on the 'blackmail' .....yes it was a cheesy move, but she Ayasa (spell?) has a lot going on, and is desperate to find here sister, and keep her real self away from the public eyes

and i can absolutely see her thinking the MC may have been part of the 'bad guys' when she first got there

she has redeemed herself as well, MC is a nice guy, not a simp ..... it is easy to fall in with the 'crowd' who look up to her, much easier then winning a 'top' girl over to his side .... his and even the other's concept of her is almost normal .... haven't y'all gone to high school with the 'pop kids' etc, at that age we can fall easily in with the crowds, especially if we are not in the 'special group'

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

1- I do not get why you people are all hung up on the 'blackmail' .....yes it was a cheesy move, but she Ayasa (spell?) has a lot going on, and is desperate to find here sister, and keep her real self away from the public eyes

2- and i can absolutely see her thinking the MC may have been part of the 'bad guys' when she first got there

3- she has redeemed herself as well, MC is a nice guy, not a simp ..... it is easy to fall in with the 'crowd' who look up to her, much easier then winning a 'top' girl over to his side .... his and even the other's concept of her is almost normal .... haven't y'all gone to high school with the 'pop kids' etc, at that age we can fall easily in with the crowds, especially if we are not in the 'special group'

1- We are because she could have kept her real self away by being nice to MC, her fight with MC? Avoidable if she tried to listen for even 5 seconds.

2- But she gave MC enough time to say that he is a good guy, we had a whole comedy scene about the thugs saying that MC is with them(he is even their boss)...weird how MC is dressed with a school uniform while the thugs are dressed like...just bad, MC didn't fight right back, limiting himself to dodge her attacks

3- When she redeemed herself? With food? with one free favour? she felt in debt, it was about feeling better with herself, more like not being nice because she cares about MC but because she is guilt-tripped herself. Also no, nobody i know is that obsessed with popular kids...not even sure there are any, we don't have people worshipping people for being decent human beings, we don't have students from other schools coming over just to see one person and literally shower them with compliments begging to be like them, we do our own thing, what you're describing is a trope(and old one from US-made movies for teenagers). Or maybe it's a thing from where you come from, just not associate yourself with the whole world on this matter, people who obsess over just frivolous things have too much free time, or they're very gullible. Seriously, even IF you were right(but you're not), the dev spends so much time writing about people praising Ayase that it gets boring, to its own detriment considering that the plot barely developed at all...sure it's a prologue but damn what we know of the actual plot? MC meets Ayase, they start doing things together, then we have drama with Miharu, Ayase+MC do a sparring together, then we have that terrorist thing...end of the update...we like if the content(v0.1 + v0.1.5) is 3 hours long, then 2 hours and a half is about people idolizing Ayase, Miharu's love drama and MC being the butt of every joke.

 

[Kaos_Theory]

I do not get why you people are all hung up on the 'blackmail' .....yes it was a cheesy move, but she Ayasa (spell?) has a lot going on and is desperate to find her sister and keep her real self away from the public eyes

Cheesy? Cheesy would be a poor one-liner that mc uses to pick up chicks, physically threatening someone's livelihood in order to maintain your own facade so nobody ever finds out about the real person beneath the proverbial mask is not cheesy, it's just disgusting and honestly, it lends itself well to explain how vile Ayase can be when she thinks her own 'image' is at stake, or at least that is how the game is showing that to an audience who pay attention.

and I can absolutely see her thinking the MC may have been part of the 'bad guys' when she first got there

How? Every attempt the mc made to explain to her that he was innocent was shot down instantly because she refused to listen or see reason, she was acting impulsively and lacking compassion (a thing most self-proclaimed heroes have in abundance)

she has redeemed herself as well, MC is a nice guy, not a simp ..... it is easy to fall in with the 'crowd' who look up to her, much easier than winning a 'top' girl over to his side .... his and even the other's concept of her is almost normal .... haven't y'all gone to high school with the 'pop kids' etc, at that age, we can fall easily in with the crowds, especially if we are not in the 'special group'

Redeemed herself? Not even close, she did the bare minimum to ease her conscience, if I was in the MC's shoes and someone attacked me unprovoked without even attempting to listen to what I had to say, who then tried to blackmail me with an image they took with a hidden camera* and then proceeds to ask me where I live and invites themself into my home without asking me**, I would be kicking that chump out the door and telling them that could kiss my derriere

​

*= The hidden camera footage she has can't be used as it was obtained illegally unless she intends only to distribute it among her friends in school, in which case the MC could sue her for defamation of character (not in the context of the game I know, but it's the principle of the thing)​

**= Nobody whom I met mere hours prior would ever get my address and they most certainly would not be welcomed in my house regardless of how important they think they are, He has no idea whether she is a genuine 'hero' or a secret sociopathic killer masquerading as a hero, my point is he just welcomes what is essentially a random person into his home without even a shred of concern for his own safety​

MC is a nice guy, too nice, simp or not he's too easily led and that leads to disappointing scenarios within the story, here's a guy who has an inner power (one he nor us knows anything about) yet he is so easily manipulated/led by others to do what they want, he even goes so far as to tell his blackmailer about his power. He's too trusting it's going to be his downfall before long.

I will say that my opinion is my perception of the game and if the dev reads this, all I want is some option to have the MC bite back, at least give us the option to tell her to go to hell or something, it's not fun when you are forced to watch someone you want to envision yourself in the place of being treated like that when you know that if that was you (which most players will place themselves in the place of the protagonist) then you would not have stood for such unbecoming behaviour.

 

[Sakkara2]

Finally got the free time to finish 0.1.5 and all I have to say is ...
WOW!

Really looking forward to seeing where this goes. Good writing, damn nice artwork/renders, interesting characters.

*hats off*

 

[magvearn]

Thank you all for your feedback and opinions. I admit there are a lot of things to improve upon, and some missing details. This is my first time, so I'm slowly learning and improving. Therefore somethings may require some time to fix since I don't have a lot of time to work on the game. I hope you will understand.

I'm also just getting used to this site as I'm pretty new here, I'll try to see if I can takeover this thread and deal with other things later as I'm quite busy with some other things and real life at the moment.

Sincerely, KawaiiSukebe(dev)

Take your time dev , i believe as mention so many times above by others and the heated conversations that is happening shows how much people are invested in the story and characters you've created. Take all of our feedback into account but dont change your original story to suit any one of those feedback(unless it really is a game breaking one), compromise is better.

Please take your time to develop your game, nothing kills the mood and interest more if you rushed, half baked, no substance update(be it lewd scene or story content). Wished i have money to spare, would really like to support you.

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

Take your time dev , i believe as mention so many times above by others and the heated conversations that is happening shows how much people are invested in the story and characters you've created. Take all of our feedback into account but dont change your original story to suit any one of those feedback(unless it really is a game breaking one), compromise is better.

invested is a strong word but fair enough...and i want to know your definition of game-breaking, because to me a game has also a plot, and if the plot makes little sense, then the game is broken XD

 

[IRedI]

Random couples, cuck vibes, sluts, romance?...

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

Random couples, cuck vibes, sluts, romance?...

it's clearly NTR

 

[MrJay]

I really like this game so far, so take this as constructive criticism and not just trying to bash the game.

It almost seems like there's more time spent during flashbacks or "unknown new character POV" and stuff like that than time spent progressing the actual main story. Backstory, flashbacks and exposition is all fine and dandy, but it's very easy to do too much of it and end up not moving the actual story very much forward. The thing is that you never need quite as much backstory and exposition as you think you do, it's sometimes better to show than to tell and its certainly better to trust your audience to piece it together with few clues than to give them too many clues and make them feel pandered to.

Also, I'm a HUGE Linkin Park fan but even I only end up feeling "yikes" when their songs are used as "combat music". Partly because I don't feel like it fits, partly because it just smacks of poorly made 2000s AMVs.

But I'm confident these and any other minor issues are just growing pains and I'm really looking forward to see where we go from here. I hope it won't be too long until we get an actual current timeline sex scene (that involves fucking) rather than teasing and drawing it out too long, like so many in a long line of failed projects do it. Getting in the girls pants isn't the end goal, it's just the beginning of innumerous fun things we get to do with them. The flashback sex scene was really, really great but there's just something about flashback/dream sequence sex scenes that don't 100% do it for me, because if I'm immersing myself in the story they don't register as that impactful.

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

How I feel with the decisions in this game.
View attachment 2619524
But overall a really good update and quite extensive, I don't get why so many people are so pressed about Ayase but it is what it is.

it means that you didn't read our opinions at all

short version: if you're a hero, don't go around blackmailing people just because you care too much about your reputation than actually be good, not to mention how she could apologize and be nice to MC, and still get the same result without blackmailing.

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

1- Hey don't get so pressed about it I read the opinions but I don't consider Asaye a hero at all, she's more like a vigilante, she is trying to redeem herself with the MC because, from my point of view she feels bad about the blackmail.

2- But yeah I agree with you, it was really disgusting, but she's got to make decisions if she is that "close" to finding her sister, why would you risk all your work for some stranger that could potentially ruin everything. I'm not saying she's in the right at all, but put you in her place for a moment and it would actually be a really human decision if you ask me.

3- The MC also said that he's starting to feel more alive with the situation going on with the gang, so just enjoy the next updates and try to forget about the blackmail is that simple, and if you can't is okay you don't have to like all the girls in an AVN. Let's just hope the dev doesn't abandon the game because it has potential.

I numbered the parts so you know to what i'm trying to answer ^_^

1- Meaning that she feels guilty, meaning that she is being nice for the sake of cleaning her conscience, which can be nice but it's not an act of being nice for the sake of being nice, it's an act of being nice for her own sake (basically she is probably thinking "if i do this, the blackmail will be okay because i'm being nice meanwhile")

2- The game (SO FAR) is too focused on flashbacks and love-dramas, we don't know what she knows, we don't know if she is close to finding her sister, so much that she WANTS/NEEDS mc's help, meaning that she is desperate either for clues or work-force/fighters. Also(and Ayase herself stated it) the story that "Miss. Popular Girl" is secretly a vigilante fighting thugs all around the town is so absurd that only those who are directly involved would believe it, so her reputation is fine, actually she ruined her own reputation in the eyes of MC...wait she didn't! Because MC is a simp....he got mad for 3 seconds, got held by those goons and that's it...i don't say that he should turn into the Hulk and destroy everything, but fuck at least be angry/annoyed for 24 hours(sleep-time included) but nope, he just bends over and allow her to say and do everything she wants.

3- It's the premise that irks me, she could have got what she wants from MC by simply being nice or drop a couple of compliments to MC and then mention weird disappearings ...but nope, decided to FORCE someone to do what she wants, demanded to know where he lives(which is a red-flag, because at this point Ayase is still sus, what if she turns evil or what if she is the villain all along? If Ayase was a guy doing this to a female MC people would be losing their minds, at least if this was happening in the real world), just the "being forced" part is problematic, it spikes drama, i mean people are FORCED to go to school, people are FORCED to go to work, because they need something from those places(either an education/diploma or money), they don't like it, but they must take part in those activities, here is the same. You tell me "but that's the story so what you're gonna do about it?" and my answer is "call it out because it's a stupid, the game has potential, the graphic is decent enough, but dear god these plot-points make no sense of any kind"

 

[Kaos_Theory]

To further explain our views.

1. The whole being nice thing is (if you look into it deep enough) a purely psychologically manipulative move on her part, whether she or the mc realises it, That's why it rubs some people the wrong way, it has been done in such a way that destroys her future storyline no matter how many redemption arks she goes through, and ultimately only leaves the 'revenge' ark for the mc to go down (In my opinion)

2. Flashbacks are nice in moderation and the Love-dramas need more build-up to actually be impactful. We can't judge how truthful she is because despite claiming to need our help, we're told nothing of what that help entails, she expects us to share everything with her while she shares nothing with us, that is not a good way to win someone over to your side, and as Demoness said, when the MC got 'mad' (if you can call it that) for all of about 1 render, it leaves a bad taste in people's mouths.

3. I believe that the reason Ayase behaves the way she does is because she is socially awkward as she's never been in a position where she's had people get close enough to her to actually interact with people without having or forcing some kind of power over them.

I do agree with both of you that the story has potential, but at the moment I feel that potential is not being met.

For points 2 and 3 from you Valentine.

2. I'd like to see the option of avoiding a character if the player chooses, I dislike feeling pigeon-holed into things and how we're basically not given a choice on whether we wish to have anything to do with Ayase outside of the bare minimum required of us is exactly that.

3. I don't think it's a plot twist, I think she actually might be the villain, she is indeed a walking red flag and her car is included, If your going to drop iconic cars in the game that scream drift (which 240sx is renowned for) then why not go for the truly iconic Toyota Sprinter Trueno AE86. The only ark I want to see her in now is revenge (as I mentioned in point 1 above) She is a ruined character for me because of her initial knee-jerk actions and her overall behaviour.

I know people may see this post and others and think we're hating on the game, actually, I want this game to do well because the premise interests me, the story has great potential and most of the characters are decent enough, it's just little things like the above listed that are leaving such bad tastes in our mouths.

 

[ImperialD]

To further explain our views.

1. The whole being nice thing is (if you look into it deep enough) a purely psychologically manipulative move on her part, whether she or the mc realises it, That's why it rubs some people the wrong way, it has been done in such a way that destroys her future storyline no matter how many redemption arks she goes through, and ultimately only leaves the 'revenge' ark for the mc to go down (In my opinion)

2. Flashbacks are nice in moderation and the Love-dramas need more build-up to actually be impactful. We can't judge how truthful she is because despite claiming to need our help, we're told nothing of what that help entails, she expects us to share everything with her while she shares nothing with us, that is not a good way to win someone over to your side, and as Demoness said, when the MC got 'mad' (if you can call it that) for all of about 1 render, it leaves a bad taste in people's mouths.

3. I believe that the reason Ayase behaves the way she does is because she is socially awkward as she's never been in a position where she's had people get close enough to her to actually interact with people without having or forcing some kind of power over them.

I do agree with both of you that the story has potential, but at the moment I feel that potential is not being met.

For points 2 and 3 from you Valentine.

2. I'd like to see the option of avoiding a character if the player chooses, I dislike feeling pigeon-holed into things and how we're basically not given a choice on whether we wish to have anything to do with Ayase outside of the bare minimum required of us is exactly that.

3. I don't think it's a plot twist, I think she actually might be the villain, she is indeed a walking red flag and her car is included, If your going to drop iconic cars in the game that scream drift (which 240sx is renowned for) then why not go for the truly iconic Toyota Sprinter Trueno AE86. The only ark I want to see her in now is revenge (as I mentioned in point 1 above) She is a ruined character for me because of her initial knee-jerk actions and her overall behaviour.

I know people may see this post and others and think we're hating on the game, actually, I want this game to do well because the premise interests me, the story has great potential and most of the characters are decent enough, it's just little things like the above listed that are leaving such bad tastes in our mouths.

now thats a freaking book report there

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

1. Yeah I totally get your point there, she's doing it for a clean conscience and to try to make the MC forget about it. But at least she is doing something you know, she could actually just don't give a damn about it, I'm not defending her at all tho, because she is doing the bare minimum.

2. I also got mad that the MC wasn't angry with her because she changed his life completely. I wouldn't tag the MC as a "simp" but the dev got to have more decisions in the game to decide if you want to go in a path with someone or not. The relationship seems so forced and I don't like that.

3. I get you, it would be a nice plot twist her being the villain and we actually don't know her, and I'm not trying to defend her, she is a walking red flag (apart from her car). But let's see if she can get redemption later on (I doubt it tho).

That being settled it was a fine discussion gentleman, let's hope that we can make more valuable choices in the game so that people can be happy with their fav girl, and that the story doesn't end up being mediocre (although for me it's giving Once in a Lifetime vibes, just without the incest, for now.).

1- That's fair but at the same time, she is still holding MC hostage with that blackmailing...i mean deleting that picture would be a nice gesture...but nope, easier to make food, and buy some cream for wounds and granting him one wish(and if you choose "i want nothing from you" she is glad of that, meaning that she feels sorry but doesn't want to do anything about it which is pretty much like praying when a friend of yours is dying of cancer, rather than spending time with him/her)

2- Exactly...and MC minutes later the blackmailing thing, he is all admiring and adoring her...which is pathetic, the problem is that EVERYONE is like that to Ayase, and MC is also the butt of every joke...like his own step-sister calling him good-for-nothing and sharing embarassing stories of him the very same sister that saw MC getting out of a car just because he saw her in distress and basically ditching Ayase for her(ofc Ayase parked the car and walked to MC&Co. if one of my brothers did even just that to me, i would making a cake the next day and giving them the first and last slice, not mocking hm behind his back)...again: with friends like these, MC doesn't need enemies.

3- I mean so far there is no reason for being a pure villain, but she surely is acting like one to MC...demanding shit, whining at MC's house and stuff like that