VN Ren'Py No Man's Land [Ch.1 HFix.2 LTBL] [duck-x]

[johnytherocket]

If you can easily see what's going on in the last of the preview images in the OP, I think it's worth investigating the issue. I've checked with both OLED and LED screens and it's really, really dark for me.

Funny enough my monitor is one the darkest samsung presets for brightness; I'll just make my screen even darker to compensate.

 

[Ptah]

I can't understand some of the comments I've read. A game with the dystopian tag and some inbreeds expect what, a fucking jolly harem of waifus wanting to please the MC sexual needs? Have people become fully retard nowadays? And I'm not doing this statement as someone who likes/dislikes the genre, but as a lover of fucking common sense...

To the dev, congrats because I see you care about building a setting carefully. I just hope you have, the most important part when creating a story, already done, which is having a clear goal or multiple ones. Because that's the main reason A LOT of games here suck donkey balls narratively speaking, they have no direction at all.

Congratulations again for what you started and hope you achieve what you deserve!

 

[DeathCancer388]

imma leave this here so i remember to check this game out after it has more content (game sounds interesting)

 

[chaosbox24]

I guess the game Focus on Femdom I mean The game name say it all But I thought it's more like
Lust man Standing, sadly this game is Abandoned from years now nothing like it so far
but if your fan of this kinda games here some for your liking

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Thanks for the list. Unfortunately i've played pretty much all of these except for a few that i'll check out.

 

[TheMarquis]

I'm not into femdom but I enjoyed it. It looks really promising. Maybe there will be space for more vanilla/standard players too?

I'll keep an eye on this.

 

[johnytherocket]

So far, there are two big problems that are big detractors for me:
1. The dark renders are way too dark. On many images, you cannot see anything even with good light conditions. If I'd play this game with any sunlight hitting my monitor, I would see even less.
Good dark images are not dark. They're designed to feel dark. Instead of not using light, use blueish light or similar effects to create the illusion of darkness while still allowing the scene to be well lit enough to see things.

If you watch any movie with night time scenes where actors are acting, you'll notice they feel dark but still show the actors clearly.


2. The writing is clumsy. On multiple occasions it becomes clear that the writer is no native speaker (wrong use of words), and has problems expressing what is meant to be expressed.

The clearest example is the scene where Ms Mach is talking with the Robot that demands the package. Every dialogue line has a descriptive dialogue tag.

e.g. "Thank you. I will attend to it immediately." Mach responds respectful yet adamant.

This is bad. If you're describing how something is said, it means you have no idea of how to say it in the first place.
Good dialogue writing makes whenever possible clear how something is being said by how the dialogue beat itself is written. Descriptive dialogue tags are the crutch of an inexperienced dialogue writer.

The above statement, for instance, has multiple issues. Aside from the syntax error (no period after immediately, comma because the dialogue tag is part of the statement and cannot stand on its own.
so:
"Thank you. I will attend to it immediately," Mach responds respectful yet adamant.
Or you turn the verb into a noun:
"Thank you. I will attend to it immediately." Mach's response is respectful yet adamant.

Then there's the problem with the statement actually not being adamant, because that adamancy is only described but does not occur in the dialogue.
"Thank you, [respectful word for the role / person]. I will have your sister authorize my actions immediately."
That is respectful yet adamant, because the dialogue makes clear that she is staying her course.

In general I'd advise to get away from the format of having what's being said described.
Dialogue lines like:
>> "Another Strike? Are you serious? How is this fair at all?" Mach protests, her frustration palpable.
can just be reduced to:
>> "Another Strike? Are you serious? How is this fair at all?"
The dialogue already shows that she is protesting and frustrated. The additional descriptive commentary weakens the prose and waters it down.

"the writer is no native speaker" completely false: confidently incorrect. English is my first and only language. I did my entire schooling, including post-grad in English; in an English speaking country. You do realize that native English writers can be clumsy at times right? Also fictional writing does not have to follow the same rules as formal writing or academic writing at all.
" ''Thank you. I will attend to it immediately.'' Mach responds, her tone respectful yet adamant. "
If you are going to do a literature analysis on my work at least quote it correctly.

The dark renders were not supposed to be that dark; for whatever reason my monitor default brightness setting is deceivingly brighter than it should be. I already addressed this many times.

I'm not into femdom but I enjoyed it. It looks really promising. Maybe there will be space for more vanilla/standard players too?

I'll keep an eye on this.

I'm surprised you jumped into the rabbit hole despite all the warnings; kudos to you. And thank you too.
I do not know the exactly figure off the top of my head, but majority of the paths/routes do not really cater to vanilla/standard.

 

[kuraiken]

His writing was fine. Now post up your stuff so we can critique it.

I've deleted my response.
I have zero interest in arguing with people who don't know how to take criticism, or zaelous defenders who come along with a "oh, you post what you can do!".

This is going to derail into arguments that - eventually - a mod is going to have to delete, so I'm pulling the plug now.

I don't even care anymore. I'll just not give any advice or feedback of any kind.

 

[Ptah]

I've deleted my response.
I have zero interest in arguing with people who don't know how to take criticism, or zaelous defenders who come along with a "oh, you post what you can do!".

This is going to derail into arguments that - eventually - a mod is going to have to delete, so I'm pulling the plug now.

I don't even care anymore. I'll just not give any advice or feedback of any kind.

Your advice ,for starters, was awfully bad, of course in a script ALWAYS gonna be descriptive text here and there. You tried to signal the author as an amateur writer, and by your comments I can tell you're the amateur here.

 

[femdom worshipper]

I guess the game Focus on Femdom I mean The game name say it all But I thought it's more like
Lust man Standing, sadly this game is Abandoned from years now nothing like it so far
but if your fan of this kinda games here some for your liking

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Do these games also have a post-apocalyptic setting and femdom? or just post-apocalypse?

 

[burnerbud]

i believe i've explored all the content of this demo, and i'm pleasantly surprised by the amount of narrative branches already present.

while i'm sure this means increased dev time, i'd love to see this aspect of the game doubled down on. not enough games commit to the choose your own adventure aspect.

overall, super excited to see how this game develops.

 

[Lilzeddyy]

i am pleased.

 

[downtoo2015]

Did I make the wrong choices or there is none erotic/sex scenes in this initial release?

 

[slider]

There are a quite a few different paths, some of them with sexual scenes available. If you have not seen at least all the scenes in OP, I'd recommend to keep exploring different choices and subchoices. The shortest path right now is the one where you follow the vampire lady.

 

[Bob69]

No Man's Land [Ch.1 HFix.2 LTBL] [duck-x] - Compressed

Use at your own risk.

Win/Linux [273 MB]

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

Mac [337 MB]

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

-

You must be registered to see the links

Spoiler: Tools used:

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[grahegri]

NoMansLand-CH1Hotfix2

Spoiler: TORRENT 2213MB (Windows)

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

rpdl torrents are unaffiliated with F95Zone and the game developer.
Please note that we do not provide support for games.
For torrent-related issues use here, or join us on

You must be registered to see the links

!

You must be registered to see the links

,

You must be registered to see the links

. Downloading issues? Look here.
Want to join the team? Read more here!​

 

[Canto Forte]

Where the update went at the end of April:

Spoiler: Why ... of course down the bizarre - light in the dark - hole:

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

This game has game overs for MC if his senses are not steel enough for the many ”man eaters” looknig for him.

The shortest path right now is the one where you follow the vampire lady.

I make the wrong choices

MC can even inadvertantly hurt the girl he has hots for because of his ”male inadequacy”.

not enough games commit to the choose your own adventure aspect.

WARNING: Femdom Erotic Content

WARNING: Post apocalyptic setting; dark themes

The story unfolds with a man undergoing a year-long cryogenic therapy for a severe haematological illness. Years later he is awaken to a desolate and hollow shell of the world he remembered, overrun by the dead and monstrous entities. He is left to fester in the choices between the primal urge to survive and the daunting task of searching for his family, whose fate remains unknown. As he navigates through the ruins of civilization, he discovers a chilling reality: men have become an endangered species, making him one of the last males still kicking in this dystopian nightmare.

Do these games also have a post-apocalyptic setting and femdom? or just post-apocalypse?

His writing was fine. Now post up your stuff so we can critique it.

To put it bluntly ... MC is scared shitless of his own shaddows
and he stands to meet early ends more likely than survive.

MC second guessing himself and having double and triple thoughts while second guessing himself and his actions
is a very believable state of mind of a rather squshy MC who is lost in in the translation
of the words written on his pod.

 

[ikheqir]

Wish if MC was more of a badass, hes like a confused little puppy, and what's with the haircut lol.

 

[johnytherocket]

Wish if MC was more of a badass, hes like a confused little puppy, and what's with the haircut lol.

I know plenty of fathers with that hair irl; also that hairstyle and beard were specifically chosen so I can grow the hair and beard as the days go by. The most of the aesthetic hairs and beards for daz do not have good growth options. Also it is post-apoc not a fashion show.
Nothing wrong with badass MCs, but imo there are already plenty of MCs in zombie media.

 

[blackmetal]

mcs a bitch mo thanks

 

[Lilzestypoo]

I know plenty of fathers with that hair irl; also that hairstyle and beard were specifically chosen so I can grow the hair and beard as the days go by. The most of the aesthetic hairs and beards for daz do not have good growth options. Also it is post-apoc not a fashion show.
Nothing wrong with badass MCs, but imo there are already plenty of MCs in zombie media.

you have a nice formula already love your work...