the typos and misused pronouns are fine and fixable, as it's obviously just some translation artifacts.
the language in this game, however, is bad. it's hamfisted and forced, with no natural sense of pacing or flow in the conversations.
additionally, the girl's dialogue has no consistency, bouncing weirdly between child-like and adult-like, and often drifts into a weird and unnatural phrasing that makes me think the author picked up english from reading socially isolated 4channers waxing poetic over their favorite anime characters
it could be partly from translation, using words that are out of place and sentence structure that is overly formal and complex for a conversation between two close people
but it's definitely offputting. the language is barely above machine translation as it is.
renders are well done