VN Ren'Py Origin Story [v0.5.0] [JDOR]

[MRMIdAS2k]

I'm back to moan about grammar stuff!

"evolved passed" should be "evolved past" you walk past something, you get past a tragic event in your life, you evolved past something. Passed is for "I passed a building" but you still "Walk past a building" because English is a dumb language.

both (I only recall 2) uses of "outcasted" should just be "outcast" you could use "cast out" or even "shunned" but yeah, "outcasted" just doesn't feel right.

"They meaned something" should be "They meant something" or "They mean something" I'd go with "They mean something" as the character is speaking in the present.

Aside from that, all appears to be good

 

[zilzmaer]

There's no reason to believe that the Dev isn't going to let you opt out with Parker if that's what you want. This is from the dev notes:

There have been two forced scenes. One was the Amber HJ because the fact that she swallowed his cum was important. The other was obviously nutting inside Moonsong. All other sexual involvements have been optional thus far. Even Evelyn is optional if you opt to go solo with Moonsong and break Evelyn's heart, you monster!

Parker herself is not actually a love interest yet, but she undoubtedly will be later on. When that time comes, you'll have a chance to opt out.

the Amber handjob is an optional scene; you get it by checking the pictures during the first freeroam, and is therefore skippable. as for Parker, it really doesn't matter what the dev notes say because the dev has already not let us opt out of content with her:

Spoiler

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sure, that was in a dream, but it was still sexual content featuring another character with no option to decline. the dev promised that one scene, with either one or two characters, was mandatory for story reasons (obviously, that's the Moonsong or Moonsong/Evelyn scene), but that all other scenes with them and every scene with other characters would be optional. forcing a scene with Parker clearly goes against that promise.

 

[zilzmaer]

Well, I mean it's actually Lady Steel who went on to say initially "He steals powers from others after fucking them." when MC had trouble explaining.

That pretty much opened the can of worms where Parker and Riley could literally piece together who he fucked by showing his new powers.
Granted, if he was less naive, then he could have just shown Emerald's powers and kept Moonsong's powers hidden (hence keep that promise to her to make people think she's a virgin).

But Lady Steel certainly didn't help things on that matter; to add more fuel to the fire, after Parker and Riley says "You have Moonsong & Emerald's powers?" one of the first line Lady Steel says is "Moonsong is such a slut, but I'm surprised she opened her legs to him easily."

So in this aspect, MC takes some of the blame yes, but part of the blame should go to Lady Steel as well for not being as careful with her words.
But given her character is brash and impulsive, I'm not too surprised.

MC takes 100% of the blame, actually, because he spilled the beans entirely to Riley while Parker was showing Lady Steel where she'd be sleeping. Lady Steel didn't say anything until after she and Parker came back and MC was failing to explain his power.

 

[Jericho85]

the Amber handjob is an optional scene; you get it by checking the pictures during the first freeroam, and is therefore skippable. as for Parker, it really doesn't matter what the dev notes say because the dev has already not let us opt out of content with her:

Spoiler

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sure, that was in a dream, but it was still sexual content featuring another character with no option to decline. the dev promised that one scene, with either one or two characters, was mandatory for story reasons (obviously, that's the Moonsong or Moonsong/Evelyn scene), but that all other scenes with them and every scene with other characters would be optional. forcing a scene with Parker clearly goes against that promise.

Oh that's what you're talking about... Yeah that's a dream dude. No sexual encounter involved. When it comes time for the mc to actually pound Parker then you'll have a choice to opt out. The dev was referring to forced love interests, and so far that appears to only be Moonsong. Dreaming of Parker doesn't flag her as an LI.

As for Amber, I totally forgot that scene was part of one of the photo memories, so yeah it's skippable. I guess that's what the dev meant by "or maybe two, depending on a choice"

 

[zilzmaer]

Oh that's what you're talking about... Yeah that's a dream dude. No sexual encounter involved. When it comes time for the mc to actually pound Parker then you'll have a choice to opt out. The dev was referring to forced love interests, and so far that appears to only be Moonsong. Dreaming of Parker doesn't flag her as an LI.

it's awfully disingenuous of you to say that scenes that occur before the LI flag is set don't count as being with a LI, especially when the in-game profile has clearly already marked her as a LI, and it's equally disingenuous of you to claim that a scene consisting solely of sex acts isn't a sex scene. but go ahead and keep making excuses, i guess.

 

[JJJ84]

MC takes 100% of the blame, actually, because he spilled the beans entirely to Riley while Parker was showing Lady Steel where she'd be sleeping. Lady Steel didn't say anything until after she and Parker came back and MC was failing to explain his power.

Checking the scene again, you are indeed correct.

Kinda feels like he put himself into a corner when he said "I went on a date with Moonsong." with Riley piecing it together right afterwards saying "Don't tell me you fucked her."
And our MC, being in his "thinking with his dick only mind" replies "Multiple times." when he could have denied it (lie).
Doing so I guess could have been seen as him thinking "Oops, I probably shouldn't have said I went on a date with Moonsong to begin with." and attempt to cover it up.

Though given what transpires afterwards with Lady Steel and the whole MC powers explanation, it really wouldn't have made a difference I guess.

The cat would have been out in the open one way or another, at least with Parker and Riley.
However, I do think MC should have at least said something to both Parker and Riley that Moonsong's whole Virgin illusion is a secret.

Having said that, it is kinda funny to me that Evelyn is just as much of a blabbermouth though.
She told Fraser & Amber MC manifested; which by proxy they'd know he fucked Moonsong & Emerald (and Moonsong's secret being out).
And..... Lady Steel coming to Evelyn saying "Nobody can know about MC's powers." yet no mention whatsoever of Moonsong's secret from MC, Evelyn, and Lady Steel.

Apparently noone cares about Moonsong's secret.

 

[burbero]

As far as the MC, I think he's going to develop more as the story goes on. Sure in CH1, he was at a disadvantage given his lack of experience and lack of manifestation but that's already changing as of CH2. Besides that, I never got the impression that he was weak willed. He takes teasing and insult in stride and doesn't let it get under his skin and remains confident. That to me shows strength of character.

This line stood out to me in regards to that:

Spoiler

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By CH2, he's a sexual natural that instantly has some of the most powerful superheroins after his cock and he's probably one of the most powerful supers in the story with a hot girlfriend that lets him fuck chicks to gain more powers. So I really don't get the criticisms saying the MC is weak. Doesn't seem that way to me. Maybe he starts out like a pervy simp that masturbates too much, but I think it's fair to say he can save money on tissues now.

As far as everything else, you're spot on. Most of the girls aren't even romantically involved with the MC yet so whatever they do sexually is of no consequence. They're grown ass women so it's normal for them to be sexually active. It's dumb that some people are so butthurt about it that they'll leave bad reviews, so I'm thinking about leaving my own 5-star review to offset the review bombers.

I wouldn't call him weak, but mostly stupid. And that makes his character weak. How did you come to that conclusion?

1. He doesn't react to Mrs Parker's mess at the birthday celebration.
2. Evelyn is in love with him. She gives all the signs, but he has no idea.
3. Parker questions him openly, but he doesn't realise anything. Even Parker is so sure he's an idiot that he doesn't show any subtlety in his questioning.

That's all I can remember right now.

 

[Jericho85]

it's awfully disingenuous of you to say that scenes that occur before the LI flag is set don't count as being with a LI, especially when the in-game profile has clearly already marked her as a LI, and it's equally disingenuous of you to claim that a scene consisting solely of sex acts isn't a sex scene. but go ahead and keep making excuses, i guess.

Yeah she hasn't started a romance with the MC yet so not an LI yet, flag or no flag. If you want to consider her a love interest then that's on you but don't blame the dev for "breaking promises". You will get a chance to turn down Parker when it comes time to romance her. She's not being "forced" on you. Hence not a "forced love interest".

I'm just surprised that your so hung up about wet dreams. I didn't think I'd have to explain this but, when you have a wet dream about someone, you don't actually have sex with that person.

 

[zilzmaer]

Yeah she hasn't started a romance with the MC yet so not an LI yet, flag or no flag. If you want to consider her a love interest then that's on you but don't blame the dev for "breaking promises". You will get a chance to turn down Parker when it comes time to romance her. She's not being "forced" on you. Hence not a "forced love interest".

I'm just surprised that your so hung up about wet dreams. I didn't think I'd have to explain this but, when you have a wet dream about someone, you don't actually have sex with that person.

you have to be trolling, i refuse to believe you're actually this unintelligent. just in case though, i'll spell it out for you: my complaint isn't that the MC had sex with Parker. he didn't, that's obvious, and i never claimed he did. my complaint is that there was sexual content that i was not given a chance to avoid, despite the dev promising he wouldn't force any on us (aside from the one scene that i have no issue with). it doesn't matter if they actually had sex or not, because there is still a scene featuring sexual content between MC and Parker.

i don't understand how you can look at a handjob scene, especially one that's presented in an erotic manner, and say "that's not sexual content." if that was the only scene in the entire game, it alone would disqualify this game from the "no sexual content" tag here on f95.

by your logic, the next 20 updates could be 30 hours of nonstop sex with Parker with no choices and literally nothing else, and as long as the 21st and final update to the game had a choice where you could turn her down the dev wouldn't have broken the promise about forcing love interests.

 

[motseer]

...I didn't think I'd have to explain this but, when you have a wet dream about someone, you don't actually have sex with that person.

Dammit... I thought it was real... Just a different universe or something... Well... Shite!

Apparently noone cares about Moonsong's secret.

My 2 cents... Ya'll just wasn't supposed to be smart enough to catch on... Jus' Sayin'

 

[Jericho85]

you have to be trolling, i refuse to believe you're actually this unintelligent. just in case though, i'll spell it out for you: my complaint isn't that the MC had sex with Parker. he didn't, that's obvious, and i never claimed he did. my complaint is that there was sexual content that i was not given a chance to avoid, despite the dev promising he wouldn't force any on us (aside from the one scene that i have no issue with). it doesn't matter if they actually had sex or not, because there is still a scene featuring sexual content between MC and Parker.

i don't understand how you can look at a handjob scene, especially one that's presented in an erotic manner, and say "that's not sexual content." if that was the only scene in the entire game, it alone would disqualify this game from the "no sexual content" tag here on f95.

by your logic, the next 20 updates could be 30 hours of nonstop sex with Parker with no choices and literally nothing else, and as long as the 21st and final update to the game had a choice where you could turn her down the dev wouldn't have broken the promise about forcing love interests.

You misinterpreted what the dev said dude, this is what he said:

Forced Love Interests

Again, I cannot explain why without spoiling the plot, but the MC will be forced to have some sexual interaction with one particular character (or maybe two, depending on a choice). However, once the MC has had their moment with this character(s), all interactions with them in the future will be optional. All other love interests will be entirely optional.

Now please... please show me where there has been a sexual interaction between the MC and Parker... I'll wait.


Edit: I'm guessing your lengthy silence means you finally understand the mistake you were repeatedly making. You were broadly conflating "sexual content" with "sexual interactions" and therefore completely misunderstood the Dev's statement as well as misunderstood everything I've been telling you which is why you were confused. Dream scenes are "sexual content" but they are not sexual interactions. Parker did not actually give MC a handjob. So you can consider the Dev's promise kept. You will not have any sexual interactions with Parker forced on you, and you will be able to decline her as a love interest when it comes time to romance her. You're welcome.

 

[motseer]

Now please... please show me where there has been a sexual interaction between the MC and Parker... I'll wait.

Sorry, man. I think you missed the point. Follow me here and I think I can explain...

...my complaint is that there was sexual content that i was not given a chance to avoid...

You see... If you focus on this part of the statement it is clear. Because everyone knows we all come here in an effort to avoid sexual content. Jus' Sayin'

 

[Yarazin]

Wow! Just finished this and I really enjoyed it. Went by very fast though so cant wait for more. I don't have a maid but I will toss some moneys at you now.

Haven't read other posts yet but here are some thoughts I had while reading:

Spoiler: Ch3

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[e6mill]

Wow! Just finished this and I really enjoyed it. Went by very fast though so cant wait for more. I don't have a maid but I will toss some moneys at you now.

Haven't read other posts yet but here are some thoughts I had while reading:

Spoiler: Ch3

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Making absorption work on the dupes raises too many philosophical questions. Whose power would be absorbed?
But here's my deep question - if the woman who's sneaking around in MC's bedroom picks up one of the crusty tissues that Evelyn mentions, and has fetishes such that this turns her on, would MC absorb her power?

 

[Warphorror]

Despite fucking with Emerald the game doesn't acknowledge it. By looking into the code, the dev seems to altern between using a boolean (True/False) and a string for the same variable (in the same file). Is there a fix somewhere?

 

[Jericho85]

Despite fucking with Emerald the game doesn't acknowledge it. By looking into the code, the dev seems to altern between using a boolean (True/False) and a string for the same variable (in the same file). Is there a fix somewhere?

That was fixed in 3.1. Need to pick up the latest version from the OP

 

[Warphorror]

That was fixed in 3.1. Need to pick up the latest version from the OP

Thank you didn't realise there was an update/hotfix. I had downloaded the game days ago but only got to play it today.

 

[Cthulhu4Prez2020]

Yeah, I don't think that hotfix worked...I d/l 3.1 and I'm STILL getting wrong dialog for banging Emerald.

 

[Jacquesdor]

Yeah, I don't think that hotfix worked...I d/l 3.1 and I'm STILL getting wrong dialog for banging Emerald.

It might be depending on where your save file is. During the sex scene with Emerald it was incorrectly assigning True/False values and then conversations following were looking for "Yes"/"No" values. There is some code at the start of Chapter 3 to fix the variables so might have to bear with it til then (or replay from the Emerald scene).

Sorry, rookie mistake.

 

[Warphorror]

It might be depending on where your save file is. During the sex scene with Emerald it was incorrectly assigning True/False values and then conversations following were looking for "Yes"/"No" values. There is some code at the start of Chapter 3 to fix the variables so might have to bear with it til then (or replay from the Emerald scene).

Sorry, rookie mistake.

Are you saying that it's assigning a boolean to a two states variable that's a mistake and not making a comparaison to a string in order to check which two states it is?
Unless there are plan to add other states to that variable (such as having her as li later or breaking it off) it's a very bad pratice and not efficient and even in that case using a combinaison of booleans would be better.
I don't say that to attack or be mean, rookie mistakes are normal and not being the most efficient is not a big problem. Just to point out that in my opinion the true/false would not be the "incorrect" assignement.