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FatGiant

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Jan 7, 2022
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- So, Granny, how did it go with the Doctor's visit today?
- Uh? Speak Louder... :: Mutters Under her breath ::
- :: Speaking Loud enough for the whole building to hear :: HOW. DID. IT. GO. AT. THE. DOCTORS?
- :: Remembers she had the Earing Aid turned Off, turns it on :: You don't fucking need to fucking shout, stupid oaf...
- So, How did it go?
- It went great. Really great. They brought in 5 burly man and they took turns to make me squirt, they even made ultrasounds and took pictures and all. One even wanted to taste it. Yeah, it was great.
- Grandma, I meant in the Doctors, not on your "Bingo" Afternoons.... hehehehe
- That's what I said, at the Doctors. In the "Bingo" it was an All-Girls Buffet, also nice. They want me to go back next week, wanna cum with?
- To the All-Girls Buffet? Count me in.
- No, stupid, to the Doctors. They wanna squeeze my Female Prostate, maybe they'll do yours too?

bennyhill.gif
 

doccop63

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It’s a rather debatable subject. My stance is that it’s pee. Google’s AI overview gives the following response.

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I saw an interview recently where Veronica Rodriguez talked about the subject. It was at least a couple of years old but she talked about having to do a squirting sscene but had to hydrate 24 hours prior by drinking nearly a half-gallon of water. That sounds like pee'ing to me. Also, anyone that knows a little in biology also knows that women have involuntary "leaks" in every day life let alone one resulting for sexual stimulation.
In a more common sense argument (because most don't Care about what research says), let's put it like this. If the average person who drinks a half-gallon of water a day, increases that intake by Another half-gallon, I can assure you that with Every pee visit that you take, the urine will come out semi-clear. Those on diuretic meds knows Exactly what I'm talking about.
 

FatGiant

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Jan 7, 2022
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I saw an interview recently where Veronica Rodriguez talked about the subject. It was at least a couple of years old but she talked about having to do a squirting sscene but had to hydrate 24 hours prior by drinking nearly a half-gallon of water. That sounds like pee'ing to me. Also, anyone that knows a little in biology also knows that women have involuntary "leaks" in every day life let alone one resulting for sexual stimulation.
In a more common sense argument (because most don't Care about what research says), let's put it like this. If the average person who drinks a half-gallon of water a day, increases that intake by Another half-gallon, I can assure you that with Every pee visit that you take, the urine will come out semi-clear. Those on diuretic meds knows Exactly what I'm talking about.
For me, it is a Credence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain when I'm on Lasix.

Peace :D
 
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Jantio1999

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Similar experience here, we heard the same, so decided to experiment, dehyrated her over a couple of days, coffee to drink, Coca Cola, all that stuff, her piss went yellow, as happens when you dehydrate, made her squirt, not yellow, myth busted.

It's piss in most porn mind, blatantly so, but IRL squirt is totally different.
That is why I found it disgusting in some game here, when the woman during sex has an orgasm she was pissing 'yellow' in the bed (and it was done like it was squirting, of course if you are into that kind of shit, be my guest).
 
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oieb

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Jul 18, 2018
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I just finished the last update and I gotta say it's pretty good. I really enjoyed the plot twists, so nothing but respect for JDOR.
I have some thoughts to share; maybe you can give a new perspective on them. I apologize if some of this has already been discussed here, I haven't read it all.
1. MC's actions: He's a lucky fucker, like really lucky, and brave, tough not very bright; that much we all know. What he did barging in that cage was the most idiotic thing he could have done, but he wasn't thinking, right? It was more like an impulse, and that's the strange bit. If he'd been thinking, there were a few better plans to try, I think: he could have tried to call Todd himself and ask him to teleport Ruth away or send in someone to help; or he could have called Lucía, asked her to stop time, gotten in Carnellan Hall, unpaused him and Ruth, and let them deal with a frozen Chokehold. So he wasn't thinking, ok. But why didn't his instincts make him use a power the moment he panicked for Ruth? I'm not saying it would've worked; I mean, Emmerald's power seems to work like a punch of solid light, so it was probably useless, and the wolf couldn't have done much, except maybe distract Chokehold for a bit. But that's not my point. My point is that in a limit situation his instincts are not using a power, why? It's not like he was trying to hide them, because he wasn't thinking about that, and anyway the wolf wouldn't have given anything away, since anyone could've summoned the wolf.

2. What was Chokehold's plan?: Let's say for a sec that she hadn't hoped to leave that place uncuffed; there were still a lot of things that could have gone wrong. She had what she needed to kill Ruth, but the more time it took, the more likely it was that she would fail. She should have known that. I mean, what if Ruth discovered her weakness by chance, or some people decided to stop the fight before things went Oh-the-humanity on live TV? Ruth couldn't have handle her, but someone else might have. There were a lot of people there with unknown powers; some more could arrive anytime. Chokehold's powers can't protect her from everything. Other supers might make Ruth temporarily intangible, saving her; teleport Ruth away; move Chokehold around with telekinesis without touching her; paralyze her; mind-control her; send her to sleep; make her phase through the ground, burying her; mess up her homeostasis; suck the air out of her lungs, suffocating her; and, of course, shoot her. Can she withstand a bullet? I don't think so. Anyway, the only chance she had was to do it quickly before anyone realized what was going on, but she didn't. She took her time and even put a pin on it to kill Steel's friend. Why would she do that? It's stupid.

3. How come nobody figured it out?: I tell you the truth, Chokehold fooled me. I thought she was some kind of Clubber Lang trying to prove her worth, not some Simon Gruber kind of character (I really like the analogy, 'cause Hans also fell from a window). But here's the thing: unlike me, Ruth (and everyone) thought Chokehold was holding some actual grudge against Steel, she even says she'd like to know why. Also, there was a lot at stake: if Joanna won, the Sisters would lose face (Ruth confesses she's a bit worried about that), and nobody knows just how immovable Joanna is; they just assume she's not a rival for Ruth. But if someone looks for an unarranged fight with Steel, she must have a plan or a secret weapon. So, just like boxers study their opponent before a fight, the Sisterhood's team should have done some background check on Chokehold's power, style, and personal life, simply because they couldn't afford to lose. Now, Joanna isn't Bruce Wayne; she doesn't have the money or resources she'd need to completely hide who she was or what she could do. I mean, she might have told a few lies, acted a bit, and everything, but to completely obliterate any trace of digital information about her power or relatives in a world where I'm sure there must be people with Cyborg's powers around? Unless she was helped by Popcorn Wizard, I can't see how she could have done it; but she seems to be working alone, right? How come no one went to Ruth and said, "I investigated her, turns out she's a sponge for punches, you can't harm her but you'll get FUBAR," or maybe, "I did some digging, and d'you remember the gal you tossed through a window? That's her sister. I think she's out for blood." I've said it before, the sister's investigative department sucks. They can't figure out who sent the tiger, they can't run some decent background check... is there anything they can do?

4. Raven's actions: She said Jack doesn't need protection anymore, not because he doesn't need to hide his emerald energy, but because there are no threats anymore. How can she know? They still don't know who sent the tiger; if I wanted to kill a dude who is protected by superheroes, I'd try to come up with a plan, even if it took me more than a week. Does she know something she isn't saying (a bit of a dick move, considering it's about his life), or what?

5: Inferno: She puzzles me a bit. Apparently she took down an illegal reformation camp. If legal reformation camps weren't shady enough, the fact that they have to conceal one of them and label it as a military facility certainly is. So, is Sofia a villain or an antihero? What is she fighting for? Does she care for anyone or anything? I'd guess she's more of an antihero. Then again, trying to become friends with Chokehold, a woman with a likely case of BPD who would betray anyone for a chance to get her revenge... you can't call that a wise choice, can you?
 

Canto Forte

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You are not getting kinks on demand, so maybe tone down the kink shaming. We get whatever fantasy the writer and the render monkey managed to scrape up in between updates to produce a game update. That is it.
That is why I found it disgusting in some game here
The fact is, whatever happens during a scene between characters who are supposed to be hugely horny and cannot wait to get their rocks off, no matter what, in the shortest time possible, as the impulse to shag is treated like a nagging rash that will not go away unless those characters get rid of it together, everything goes.
Also, just like drug tests or regular check-ups - if you want to go, you need the liquid in your body and the perfect hormonal cocktail to produce it. It is not rocket science that everything takes preparation for the camera to catch the perfect shot.

This game has unprepared supes (more unprepared than the boyz and hella underprepared compared to Voight and the supes).
Basically, the cosplay idol team of super girls is having a sorority, hangout as a bachelorette pad where they hide
from their fans and that is it.

There is no media machine to back them up, there is no Cerebro, there is no Danger Room, there is no regime of training or strategizing; they simply act like roided up horny scientists with each and every new powered individual they encounter.
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anonnyscouse

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Jul 25, 2020
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I just finished the last update and I gotta say it's pretty good. I really enjoyed the plot twists, so nothing but respect for JDOR.
I have some thoughts to share; maybe you can give a new perspective on them. I apologize if some of this has already been discussed here, I haven't read it all.
1. MC's actions: He's a lucky fucker, like really lucky, and brave, tough not very bright; that much we all know. What he did barging in that cage was the most idiotic thing he could have done, but he wasn't thinking, right? It was more like an impulse, and that's the strange bit. If he'd been thinking, there were a few better plans to try, I think: he could have tried to call Todd himself and ask him to teleport Ruth away or send in someone to help; or he could have called Lucía, asked her to stop time, gotten in Carnellan Hall, unpaused him and Ruth, and let them deal with a frozen Chokehold. So he wasn't thinking, ok. But why didn't his instincts make him use a power the moment he panicked for Ruth? I'm not saying it would've worked; I mean, Emmerald's power seems to work like a punch of solid light, so it was probably useless, and the wolf couldn't have done much, except maybe distract Chokehold for a bit. But that's not my point. My point is that in a limit situation his instincts are not using a power, why? It's not like he was trying to hide them, because he wasn't thinking about that, and anyway the wolf wouldn't have given anything away, since anyone could've summoned the wolf.

2. What was Chokehold's plan?: Let's say for a sec that she hadn't hoped to leave that place uncuffed; there were still a lot of things that could have gone wrong. She had what she needed to kill Ruth, but the more time it took, the more likely it was that she would fail. She should have known that. I mean, what if Ruth discovered her weakness by chance, or some people decided to stop the fight before things went Oh-the-humanity on live TV? Ruth couldn't have handle her, but someone else might have. There were a lot of people there with unknown powers; some more could arrive anytime. Chokehold's powers can't protect her from everything. Other supers might make Ruth temporarily intangible, saving her; teleport Ruth away; move Chokehold around with telekinesis without touching her; paralyze her; mind-control her; send her to sleep; make her phase through the ground, burying her; mess up her homeostasis; suck the air out of her lungs, suffocating her; and, of course, shoot her. Can she withstand a bullet? I don't think so. Anyway, the only chance she had was to do it quickly before anyone realized what was going on, but she didn't. She took her time and even put a pin on it to kill Steel's friend. Why would she do that? It's stupid.

3. How come nobody figured it out?: I tell you the truth, Chokehold fooled me. I thought she was some kind of Clubber Lang trying to prove her worth, not some Simon Gruber kind of character (I really like the analogy, 'cause Hans also fell from a window). But here's the thing: unlike me, Ruth (and everyone) thought Chokehold was holding some actual grudge against Steel, she even says she'd like to know why. Also, there was a lot at stake: if Joanna won, the Sisters would lose face (Ruth confesses she's a bit worried about that), and nobody knows just how immovable Joanna is; they just assume she's not a rival for Ruth. But if someone looks for an unarranged fight with Steel, she must have a plan or a secret weapon. So, just like boxers study their opponent before a fight, the Sisterhood's team should have done some background check on Chokehold's power, style, and personal life, simply because they couldn't afford to lose. Now, Joanna isn't Bruce Wayne; she doesn't have the money or resources she'd need to completely hide who she was or what she could do. I mean, she might have told a few lies, acted a bit, and everything, but to completely obliterate any trace of digital information about her power or relatives in a world where I'm sure there must be people with Cyborg's powers around? Unless she was helped by Popcorn Wizard, I can't see how she could have done it; but she seems to be working alone, right? How come no one went to Ruth and said, "I investigated her, turns out she's a sponge for punches, you can't harm her but you'll get FUBAR," or maybe, "I did some digging, and d'you remember the gal you tossed through a window? That's her sister. I think she's out for blood." I've said it before, the sister's investigative department sucks. They can't figure out who sent the tiger, they can't run some decent background check... is there anything they can do?

4. Raven's actions: She said Jack doesn't need protection anymore, not because he doesn't need to hide his emerald energy, but because there are no threats anymore. How can she know? They still don't know who sent the tiger; if I wanted to kill a dude who is protected by superheroes, I'd try to come up with a plan, even if it took me more than a week. Does she know something she isn't saying (a bit of a dick move, considering it's about his life), or what?

5: Inferno: She puzzles me a bit. Apparently she took down an illegal reformation camp. If legal reformation camps weren't shady enough, the fact that they have to conceal one of them and label it as a military facility certainly is. So, is Sofia a villain or an antihero? What is she fighting for? Does she care for anyone or anything? I'd guess she's more of an antihero. Then again, trying to become friends with Chokehold, a woman with a likely case of BPD who would betray anyone for a chance to get her revenge... you can't call that a wise choice, can you?
1. MC has had his powers for less than a week, he simply doesn't have the experience to think through the options the powers he has, or the powers his new allies have, he is still acting on basic human instinct.

2. She didn't have a plan, she just saw a chance to avenge her sister and took it, as long as she killed Ruth she didn't care what happened to her. She probably believed that the sisterhood wouldn't step in and show weakness by stopping the fight early and everyone else would be too shocked to step in until it was too late

3. Chokehold told Ruth during the fight that she had been holding back on showing the extent of her power, so even if the sisterhood did research her they wouldn't know how dangerous she is

4. I believe there's more to it than just thinking he's no longer in danger, the plan now might be to try and lure the threat back into the open. I think MC might still have protection but not as overt as it's been so far, and if he thinks he doesn't have protection he will act differently, potentially giving the threat a false sense of security, MC's powers can help him protect himself until support arrives if he does get attacked again.

5. I think Inferno is acting under the instructions of Scarlet Shadow, so while she might have thought she was attacking an illegal reformation centre it's possible that it's not true, it's just what she was told. I do think she could be turned into an ally. If only because you don't create a character that hot (pun intended) and then have them unobtainable
 

oieb

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Jul 18, 2018
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My reading of what she said what it was bc they've finally decided MC isn't a threat to THEM...
Maybe. I'll check again. It's a weird scene, though isn't it? I mean, what took her so long? She didn't even expain. They have a porter, so what were they doing? 4 sisters and a bunch of collaborators and no one was watching the fight? One of their own was facing someone who looks like her favourite breakfast is Bane's venom and not once did they think: "Things may go awry"? Something feels off.
 

oieb

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Jul 18, 2018
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1. MC has had his powers for less than a week, he simply doesn't have the experience to think through the options the powers he has, or the powers his new allies have, he is still acting on basic human instinct.

2. She didn't have a plan, she just saw a chance to avenge her sister and took it, as long as she killed Ruth she didn't care what happened to her. She probably believed that the sisterhood wouldn't step in and show weakness by stopping the fight early and everyone else would be too shocked to step in until it was too late

3. Chokehold told Ruth during the fight that she had been holding back on showing the extent of her power, so even if the sisterhood did research her they wouldn't know how dangerous she is

4. I believe there's more to it than just thinking he's no longer in danger, the plan now might be to try and lure the threat back into the open. I think MC might still have protection but not as overt as it's been so far, and if he thinks he doesn't have protection he will act differently, potentially giving the threat a false sense of security, MC's powers can help him protect himself until support arrives if he does get attacked again.

5. I think Inferno is acting under the instructions of Scarlet Shadow, so while she might have thought she was attacking an illegal reformation centre it's possible that it's not true, it's just what she was told. I do think she could be turned into an ally. If only because you don't create a character that hot (pun intended) and then have them unobtainable
I'll grant you 2,4 and 5. About 1, instincts on his powers work for him sometimes, but not always. He was under stress, logic dictates powers would just burst out. And they did, just way later than expected. And 3: Not an excuse. They have goverment resources. Joanna simply can't hide EVERYTHING from EVERYONE. The conection with Sarah could've slipped, her power could've slipped, but both? And she did hide her power in the fights, not all of her life.

they KILL PEOPLE ON THE DAY BY DAY SCHEDULE, THEY OBLITERATED A TIGER GUY - A MONSTER LOOKING PERSON IS A KILL COUNT FOR THEM.
Sure, but you gotta ask: what happens when an immovable object finds an unstoppable force? All bets are off. Why did they think Ruth was gonna win just like that? Maths say that there is someone, somewhere, who is a match for her power. They should've been looking the fight. Otherwise is irresponsible . Also, what took them so long?
 
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Canto Forte

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Like MC who had, for all of his life, missed the trigger mechanism for his powers, however insane that might be,
until he had his first ... release.
And she did hide her power in the fights, not all of her life.
 

S1nsational

Engaged Member
Mar 31, 2022
3,848
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I just finished the last update and I gotta say it's pretty good. I really enjoyed the plot twists, so nothing but respect for JDOR.
I have some thoughts to share; maybe you can give a new perspective on them. I apologize if some of this has already been discussed here, I haven't read it all.

1. MC's actions: He's a lucky fucker, like really lucky, and brave, tough not very bright; that much we all know. What he did barging in that cage was the most idiotic thing he could have done, but he wasn't thinking, right? It was more like an impulse, and that's the strange bit. If he'd been thinking, there were a few better plans to try, I think: he could have tried to call Todd himself and ask him to teleport Ruth away or send in someone to help; or he could have called Lucía, asked her to stop time, gotten in Carnellan Hall, unpaused him and Ruth, and let them deal with a frozen Chokehold. So he wasn't thinking, ok. But why didn't his instincts make him use a power the moment he panicked for Ruth? I'm not saying it would've worked; I mean, Emmerald's power seems to work like a punch of solid light, so it was probably useless, and the wolf couldn't have done much, except maybe distract Chokehold for a bit. But that's not my point. My point is that in a limit situation his instincts are not using a power, why? It's not like he was trying to hide them, because he wasn't thinking about that, and anyway the wolf wouldn't have given anything away, since anyone could've summoned the wolf.
What people do when frightened in based on instinct and reflex. MC has summon his wolf I think twice on purpose at this point, neither time in a combat situation. MC has used Emeralds power a few time out of combat and only once before in combat. His body and mind haven't fully adapted to the fact that these new powers are options. Once he's used to constantly using all his various powers he'll start using them reflexively

2. What was Chokehold's plan?: Let's say for a sec that she hadn't hoped to leave that place uncuffed; there were still a lot of things that could have gone wrong. She had what she needed to kill Ruth, but the more time it took, the more likely it was that she would fail. She should have known that. I mean, what if Ruth discovered her weakness by chance, or some people decided to stop the fight before things went Oh-the-humanity on live TV? Ruth couldn't have handle her, but someone else might have. There were a lot of people there with unknown powers; some more could arrive anytime. Chokehold's powers can't protect her from everything. Other supers might make Ruth temporarily intangible, saving her; teleport Ruth away; move Chokehold around with telekinesis without touching her; paralyze her; mind-control her; send her to sleep; make her phase through the ground, burying her; mess up her homeostasis; suck the air out of her lungs, suffocating her; and, of course, shoot her. Can she withstand a bullet? I don't think so. Anyway, the only chance she had was to do it quickly before anyone realized what was going on, but she didn't. She took her time and even put a pin on it to kill Steel's friend. Why would she do that? It's stupid.
The whole situation comes down to "it's not job to deal with this".

Nobody wanted to be responsible to breaking up the fight. There's be a fortune in bets involved, to say nothing to the tempers of two incredibly power supers. Nobody wants to break them up and get sued from all sides. The way it ended was the best way it could have ended. MC was obviously struggling, his addition to the fight was barely a cheat, he and Ruth still barely won. So it was still a satisfying fight for all outsiders


3. How come nobody figured it out?: I tell you the truth, Chokehold fooled me. I thought she was some kind of Clubber Lang trying to prove her worth, not some Simon Gruber kind of character (I really like the analogy, 'cause Hans also fell from a window). But here's the thing: unlike me, Ruth (and everyone) thought Chokehold was holding some actual grudge against Steel, she even says she'd like to know why. Also, there was a lot at stake: if Joanna won, the Sisters would lose face (Ruth confesses she's a bit worried about that), and nobody knows just how immovable Joanna is; they just assume she's not a rival for Ruth. But if someone looks for an unarranged fight with Steel, she must have a plan or a secret weapon. So, just like boxers study their opponent before a fight, the Sisterhood's team should have done some background check on Chokehold's power, style, and personal life, simply because they couldn't afford to lose. Now, Joanna isn't Bruce Wayne; she doesn't have the money or resources she'd need to completely hide who she was or what she could do. I mean, she might have told a few lies, acted a bit, and everything, but to completely obliterate any trace of digital information about her power or relatives in a world where I'm sure there must be people with Cyborg's powers around? Unless she was helped by Popcorn Wizard, I can't see how she could have done it; but she seems to be working alone, right? How come no one went to Ruth and said, "I investigated her, turns out she's a sponge for punches, you can't harm her but you'll get FUBAR," or maybe, "I did some digging, and d'you remember the gal you tossed through a window? That's her sister. I think she's out for blood." I've said it before, the sister's investigative department sucks. They can't figure out who sent the tiger, they can't run some decent background check... is there anything they can do?
Chokehold was seen as nothing more than an arrogant thug who didn't know her place. Why would anyone waste time and resources in investigating her? She's a nobody. Lady Steel is unbeatable. And even if they had looked into her past fights if not her full background, it wouldn't have changed anything. She was keeping her full powers a secret the entire time. Hell, I'd argue things would have gone worse if Ruth knew who she was from the start, she wouldn't have fought back at all perhaps.

4. Raven's actions: She said Jack doesn't need protection anymore, not because he doesn't need to hide his emerald energy, but because there are no threats anymore. How can she know? They still don't know who sent the tiger; if I wanted to kill a dude who is protected by superheroes, I'd try to come up with a plan, even if it took me more than a week. Does she know something she isn't saying (a bit of a dick move, considering it's about his life), or what?
I think it's partly his proven willingness to use his powers for combat, and as she herself says they're going to start training him to be a superhero. The powers he currently has could indeed protect him from most typical attacks, and anything his powers couldn't protect him from, The Sisterhood wouldn't be able to either. You know, given how their powers are his powers.

5: Inferno: She puzzles me a bit. Apparently she took down an illegal reformation camp. If legal reformation camps weren't shady enough, the fact that they have to conceal one of them and label it as a military facility certainly is. So, is Sofia a villain or an antihero? What is she fighting for? Does she care for anyone or anything? I'd guess she's more of an antihero. Then again, trying to become friends with Chokehold, a woman with a likely case of BPD who would betray anyone for a chance to get her revenge... you can't call that a wise choice, can you?
I don't think she herself said it was illegal or not. Honestly given who the "reformation camps" are supposedly designed to contain, I'd fully expect them all to be military facilities. We have no idea how much of a line if any there is between regular military and the MTF. Are the MTF a branch of the military? Are they completely separate?
Regardless, given how little excuse, if any, is needed to send anyone with powers to these torture camps I think calling them illegal makes sense to a degree regardless of it the actual legality of them.
 

oieb

Member
Jul 18, 2018
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Like MC who had, for all of his life, missed the trigger mechanism for his powers, however insane that might be,
until he had his first ... release.
OK. Maybe. But odds are that someone must know. Like MC, he's keeping it hidden but more than 10 people know.
And yet, how they missed the family conection really bothers me. How did she hide that? Also I was thinking, what about her nephews? She has no relationship with them? She cares that they're orphans, but not about their lives?

She's a nobody. Lady Steel is unbeatable. And even if they had looked into her past fights if not her full background, it wouldn't have changed anything. She was keeping her full powers a secret the entire time.
Again, maths, no one is unbeatable, you just need to know where to punch (that's how Batman beated Superman). And again, relatives. Besides, was she hiding her power before her sister died? Why?
 

S1nsational

Engaged Member
Mar 31, 2022
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Again, maths, no one is unbeatable, you just need to know where to punch (that's how Batman beated Superman). And again, relatives. Besides, was she hiding her power before her sister died? Why?
In the literal sense, yes no one is unbeatable. In the figurative sense a great many people are.
This fight was thought to be a simple fight between two people with super-strength. Ruth is/was believed to have the superior degree of super-strength and she has the healing factor that the public don't know about. In most brawls Ruth would have been the very clear obvious winner.

Chokehold only entered the fighting world after the death of her sister. She entered into fighting specifically to eventually bait and fight and kill Ruth. If she's only been a fighter a few years, and has been only telling people about her super-strength there's good reason to think that next to no one knew the full extent of her powers. Those few people who knew everything would be difficult to track down and talk to.

edited to add in missing words and fix some other mistakes
 
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