I could never be a developer. If you consistently release an update every month it's "never enough" or "low quality." If you consistently release an update every three - four months, to focus on quality, it's never enough content. If you put out a product only when it's ready you're just "milking" your patrons. Any delay, regardless of truth, is always considered milking.
I'd just set up a Patreon and then never communicate again and just release my game there knowing full well it would be stolen.
EvaKiss has a generally good reputation. She completed a game, and has mostly released updates within or close to the timeframes she set. I think what you're feeling as people being rude and demanding is actually people joking around and having some fun while waiting for the release. Don't take it too seriously when people crack a joke. Devs that put in the work is respected.
Then you have those who seem to be followed by one tragic event after another(Not aimed at EvaKiss). First the Computer explodes, all files gone. Gona' need a couple of months to fix. Then mom falls out the window, lands on spiked fence. R.I.P Postpone the next update. Then the cat is flattened by a compaction roller. Sorry, thats another break, followed by another fucked up event.
You can't deny that many devs seem to chill once their game(s) get off the ground, With some setting patreon goals such as "I'll
quit My job, to pursue developing games
full time!!". Once you've promised your patrons lofty goals like that, then they’re pretty much the ones paying your full salary from now on. I feel you should at least put in the minimum 8 hours a day.
Anything digital will be pirated, and many devs came to forums like these when they started promoting their games. If your game is good, people will get behind your project. Places such as f95 are the best places to promote NSFW games, you have to take it with the good and the bad. I'd wager most of the initial patrons came from here.
A bunch of them got into the bullshit pick up artist stuff. Thought they could get women through some bullshit some schlepp sold them.
To be fair, it helped alot of them get laid, as bad as some of those advices where, it actually made some boys get out and talk to women, where they used to act like some alien walked trough the buidling when your averge-girl-nextdoor passed by. Ofcourse PUA tricks was lousy and down right horrible advice for anyone looking for a meaningful relationship.