VN Ren'Py Abandoned Patio City [Demo] [SmexyLab]

3.00 star(s) 1 Vote

voyeurkind

Well-Known Member
Jan 26, 2018
1,195
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* My guess is that 4 roommates equals 3 sisters plus a mother type. Let's see if I'm wrong.

* Nope, not wrong. Well, generic doesn't actually mean bad, so let's see what we have.

* I think there were better ways to write the prologue. Right now it's a long exposition dump, but the details could have easily been inserted into the story.

* First choice is to either open the door or knock on the door, but it could be clearer which door we're approaching? Is it a bedroom door? The bathroom door? Unable to tell and that makes the decision difficult. Sure I can just save and reload, but it would be better to have more information.

* Again, another choice in sneaking up on Natalie when I have no good idea of her relationship to MC. More information would be good here too.

* Okay, I guess they're fairly close if she's calling him baby.

* MC talks to himself? Out loud?

* Why didn't MC mention to Zoe that her robe was open? I think this could be beter written.

* Lucy is cute. I think I like her over the other girls.

* I'm going to assume that since she invited us over she actually wants to be assaulted

* It would be good to do something to distinguish between thoughts and words spoken out loud.

* Obviously the PC has a PEBCAC error

* And he mistakenly walks into the sister's room in 3, 2, 1...

* Oops, I was wrong. She just happens to be taking a bath, which is perfectly understandable since it's a bathroom.

* Lett is cute too. Could we just forget the other girls and focus on these two sisters?

* When did she tell him not to cum on her face? Also, how long has MC lived there?

* The girl that just gave you a blowjob out of nowhere is an angry bitch?

* Didn't MC have to pee?

* Single option. Why?

* Some Engrish here.

* Perhaps this game needs a sexual assault tag. I doubt anyone is complaining, but Lexie and Lilly are doing this without MC's consent.

Short demo, but I've seen worse.

I'm not going to talk about the art because that's not an area of expertise for me. However, I think the biggest issue is the writing. Despite the lengthy exposition dump to start the game, there's still a lot information missing for the player. We don't have a good idea of the MC's relationship to his roommates, and nothing at all with his neighbors. I don't think too much more is needed but a little more description would be nice.

I don't hate this or love it. I think with some improvement in the writing this could be entertaining enough.
 

ꜱᴛᴀɢᴡᴏᴏᴅ

Bush Rustler
Donor
Aug 23, 2018
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So is there an Incest Patch needed or what? The tags say Incest, but Description says roommate.
Patch needed.
unknown.png
Currently, the code is a bit of a mess. The dev is definitely still learning. If there isn't a patch submitted to LP or something already, I can't imagine anyone other than the game's dev wanting to patch the game as it stands right now.

It's like this through the whole script...
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I can see potential here and I hope the dev sticks at it and improves, but there is some work to be done.
 
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oysterkeeper

Member
Oct 6, 2019
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So just finished up the demo. There is about 10 minutes or so of gameplay which I suppose is acceptable for a demo. Anyways, there isn't much standing out for this game. Seems super generic and the writing is extremely bland for now. There is very little personality shown and the sentences are pretty basic. The girls all look good for the most part but other than that there doesn't seem to be much going for it.

So far, the roommates seem like bitches and the only character that seems somewhat interesting is the girl with blue hair. Not really sure if this would ever be a game I would enjoy, I think the dialogue and the characters seriously need to be more interesting to make this game worthwhile to play.

Some renders are really weird too. Look at the eyes :WutFace:

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eddie987

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Dec 5, 2018
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The renders look decent. There's a problem when you meet Sean in your father's house and his eyes are black, but I didn't see anything else that stands out. The writing needs work... I liked Lucy, I'll keep an eye on the game just for her. The story with Nataly and Zoe is the same old (kind "landlord", bitchy "roomate"), and with Lett and Amelia it's pretty straightforward, but I have no clue what's going on with the twins. They assault you and handcuff you for further "experiments" because... science? And they are not locked up in a mental institute? The game is not bad, but it needs work and a better introduction for sure. For instance I had to choose to sneak on Nataly or not when the only thing I knew about her is that she's a workaholic. How on earth would I know what's the best choice?
 

ILCjr

Active Member
Dec 27, 2018
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As in most games like this, the writing seems a bit run of the mill. It has the run of the mill characters. with the run of the mill back grounds doing run of the mill actions during run of the mill scenarios. Like with the Lett scenario, this forcing the MC to do things like that to "Upset" the girl is way over used, in my opinion I realize that most scenarios have been done many times in games, and I realize that the dev is mostly trying to just introduce the players to the basics in the demo, but, it could be better with a little more thought into the scenarios. For example, Since the MC apprently already knows that Lett, does not like that, either give an option to warn, or not. Or give a reason why he does it on purpose. Yes, both of my suggestions are run of the mill as well, however, it has been my experience that doing one or the other draws players in more than doing it the way that it is done here.
 

Almighty

Engaged Member
Jan 27, 2017
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I probably wont try this out until vaginal sex. I'm teased enough for eternity.
 

eddie987

Well-Known Member
Dec 5, 2018
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Patch needed.
View attachment 526199
Currently, the code is a bit of a mess. The dev is definitely still learning. If there isn't a patch submitted to LP or something already, I can't imagine anyone other than the game's dev wanting to patch the game as it stands right now.

It's like this through the whole script...
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I can see potential here and I hope the dev sticks at it and improves, but there is some work to be done.
After I saw your comment I tried to activate the patch with the console and it kinda works... You still get the same intro where your mom is in Japan and you live with her friend and her daughters, but after that the relationships change.
 

ꜱᴛᴀɢᴡᴏᴏᴅ

Bush Rustler
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Aug 23, 2018
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JiltedBoy

Newbie
Nov 7, 2019
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Actually I was thinking about lil' sis with blue eyes and blue hair, in that ''ON HOLD'' game.
(strange, that game was abandoned, remake, on hold...)

As my ex girlfriend used to say:

''EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, JUST DON'T EVER FINISH IT''
 

ꜱᴛᴀɢᴡᴏᴏᴅ

Bush Rustler
Donor
Aug 23, 2018
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Actually I was thinking about lil' sis with blue eyes and blue hair, in that ''ON HOLD'' game.
(strange, that game was abandoned, remake, on hold...)

As my ex girlfriend used to say:

''EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, JUST DON'T EVER FINISH IT''
I think blue hair is just one of the more popular unnatural hair colours, and I imagine Billie Eilish gave it a little boost in popularity a short while back too. Personally, I've always been drawn to blue hair for some reason and would definitely include a character or two with blue hair in any games I'd make. Lucy is probably the entire reason I threw a dollar at this dev :ROFLMAO: I'm an easy sell.
 
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3.00 star(s) 1 Vote