Puh I don`t know what to think about the game right now. I have no problem with the stuff that happens or the writing in general. In fact, I even think that the writing is very good. The stuff might not be for everyone but that is only normal. The thing I have a problem with is that my disbelief about the events started to grow with every page I read.
This is definitely more of a realism vs fantasy/fiction argument here. While the former remains true, there's a point where the latter will come into play. Though, with some of the later points you bring up, I may have to think about rewriting/adjusting some of the admittedly flimsy time/timelines. There's definitely some editing to be done and a lot to think about for the future of the story/path, especially after reading this.
I think the biggest problem I have with, at least the current path, is that I have to believe that a full week has passed. Which leads to the question why everyone is acting so stupid or unrealistic? For example:
- Her best girlfriend. I really think that she would hit the alarm bells way way way earlier. Like her best friend goes on a date with a new guy and is missing for a whole week? Police!!! This is even more stupid when she doesn`t even care that her friend calls her one week later after she went missing.
- Her parents are supposed to be away for a week, I can only imagine that they would call from time to time, maybe even try to call her directly. It is hard to believe that they wouldn`t take notice of anything.
I'm going off personal experience with this one. Parents traveled a lot for work, usually to foreign businesses, and didn't call/text/email/etc. very often. There's obviously the lifestyle effect here, too. Upper class families and busy/latchkey households tend to lack closeness. Whether that is due to the parents parents, or another circumstance entirely changes per family.
- J is also a little bit strange, as once again as it is the same with Sam. He knows that his sister goes away on a date with a new guy and then is missing for a whole week? POLICE!
- I also think that her thoughts after killing her rapists are just stupid. I don`t know if the city this takes place is a real place but I think that every country, except maybe Saudi Arabia would not imprison the girl after she got raped and defended herself in pure self-defense. So her thought process that she has to hide the body somehow is really strange to me, and put me out of the immersion. Like the thought of self-defense doesn`t even cross her mind at least once?
The logic here was thinking through the eyes of a young adult who just killed someone after a traumatic experience, but yes, it does slightly bend realism for the sake of the storyline. Player/Reader has time to think about it, sure, but the character doesn't. To dive further into the psychology of it, by calling the police, she would inherently have to reveal that she was raped to police and hypothetically, perhaps the media. Rape victims habitually don't want to tell anyone, and most never do. They view it as a stain on themselves that they'll never get off, then they're figuratively raped all over again by the court/law system as she relives the act(s) again while having her every word/action questioned. Would the writing in question need to go that far into it? Not at all, but a little fleshing out couldn't help either.
My advice would be to shorten the week down to maybe a day or two. And have the rapist take her phone and write SMS, WhatsApp or whatever to the persons close to her so that they don`t start to wonder where she is. As for why she is not calling the police I would suggest that she simply doesn`t think about them first, and instinctively calls her brother first. He can then "manipulate" her in thinking that she has to "sit still" and "not do anything else".
Both Sam and J are in the spoilers above, so no need to go over that again. I might change the Sam phone call part later on, I'm not quite sure yet.
Also I just read about her possible abortion and she thinks about how her parents would throw her out of the house if she decides to get the child? Wtf? What kind of parents would do that to their daughter? "Oh I see you got raped and decided to keep the child for whatever reason, I know exactly what my unstable daughter would need right now! A kick in her ass and onto the streets with her!" That sounds extremly strange and unrealistic to me.
Pregnant daughters being kicked out/sent to live with grandparents/etc are far from uncommon. I'm using the rape victim logic for the parents. If said victim isn't going to tell the police, then why tell the parents, who would just end up calling them regardless? That's not even mentioning religion or parenting styles. But even then, the fear of being treated differently by parents, close or not, is a strong one no matter what the cause is.
As to answer your question at the end of the game, I would stick with one protagonist only and try to complete his or her path first. The reason is that you will split your audience most likely anyway and for example I myself am only interested in playing as the girl, so I wouldn`t bother to check for an update every month as I would assume that the path I want to play will only get one or two scenes at max every update. So I would maybe check the game once every six months, and in return most likely not donate anything during these six months.
That definitely seems to be the way to go, for now at least. Most are seeming to lean this way.
