VN Ren'Py Abandoned Reload [Ep.4 Alpha] [LionGames]

2.50 star(s) 19 Votes
Discussion Reviews (19)
TiffanyMonroe

TiffanyMonroe

Forum Fanatic
May 29, 2018
5,767
13,716
Faptime said:
100% needs the NTR tag. Christina is MC's girlfriend in all but name that cheats on him with two dudes at the same time and MC is gutted by it. She even sees him and doesn't care enough to stop. You do not get more textbook NTR than that.

At some point there is a timeskip. Anna goes from being a model in a relationship with black guy Steve, to getting her heart broken, gaining weight and working in a bar. This is NOT clear on first reading and things like that need to be clearly explained to avoid confusion.

There are a number of spelling and grammar errors, as well as name mix ups (Steve = Stive; Anna = Amanda, Anya)

Renders of chubby Anna are pretty good, though! MC does, however, have the smallest cock in the game if that matters to you.

MC then moves to another city (?) and moves in with Kate, his mother's brother's 4th wife, and Dana, who is MC's actual cousin (his uncle's daughter). So for Anna and Dana seem to be setting up as the main LIs.

The main plot seems to revolve around making MC a better man so that he can help his uncle with his business.

Unavoidable sex scene between MC's Uncle and Kate where MC is not present, so that's a hit to immersion players. Also Kate is being billed as a main antagonist working with someone else to sabotage her husband.

All in all, this needs quite a bit of polishing before it'll be considered good. The basic story of a luckless virgin who gets taken under the wing of a successful relative in order to turn him into an alpha man is a decent enough plot, but the writing and pacing need to be shored up a lot.

Good luck to the Dev.
Click to expand...
So basically this game is a hard pass? Thanks for your sacrifice. :KEK:
 
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Qmil679

Qmil679

Q / Motherlover
Donor
Mar 13, 2019
5,053
13,319
I played this game quickly for a while. And this ''relationship'', MC and Kristine, cannot be called a relationship. :ROFLMAO: MC was her ''errand boy''. She took advantage of him, and didn't take the MC seriously.
So I do not have too much sympathy for this woman. She can go out with the whole city, I don't care. I don't like her. ;)
 
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T

tlarsen

Active Member
Oct 19, 2020
511
417
Is the Ntr only the one scene in the benign or is it going to be a recurring thing?
 
heimdal74

heimdal74

Member
Apr 22, 2018
230
504
It lacks seriousness in the English translation, you never know who is sending the sms because it is written in Russian, as most around here are not Russian, it would be wise to make an effort of translation

good luck Dev !!!
 
D

DisabledAccount1110202308

Active Member
May 27, 2017
711
2,985
I hope the NTR only serves as a device to move the plot, and is not a recurring thing. Incest and NTR never mix well, that's how you start a flame war and piss off most people.

Renders look decent, but the non-existent overview and the few number of previews don't paint a pretty picture.
Good Luck to the dev, will try this VN after a few months. Hopefully, if any future NTR is added, it's optional.
 
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D

desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,065
13,999
Faptime said:
100% needs the NTR tag. Christina is MC's girlfriend in all but name that cheats on him with two dudes at the same time and MC is gutted by it. She even sees him and doesn't care enough to stop. You do not get more textbook NTR than that.

At some point there is a timeskip. Anna goes from being a model in a relationship with black guy Steve, to getting her heart broken, gaining weight and working in a bar. This is NOT clear on first reading and things like that need to be clearly explained to avoid confusion.

There are a number of spelling and grammar errors, as well as name mix ups (Steve = Stive; Anna = Amanda, Anya)

Renders of chubby Anna are pretty good, though! MC does, however, have the smallest cock in the game if that matters to you.

MC then moves to another city (?) and moves in with Kate, his mother's brother's 4th wife, and Dana, who is MC's actual cousin (his uncle's daughter). So for Anna and Dana seem to be setting up as the main LIs.

The main plot seems to revolve around making MC a better man so that he can help his uncle with his business.

Unavoidable sex scene between MC's Uncle and Kate where MC is not present, so that's a hit to immersion players. Also Kate is being billed as a main antagonist working with someone else to sabotage her husband.

All in all, this needs quite a bit of polishing before it'll be considered good. The basic story of a luckless virgin who gets taken under the wing of a successful relative in order to turn him into an alpha man is a decent enough plot, but the writing and pacing need to be shored up a lot.

Good luck to the Dev.
Click to expand...
Can't be alpha with a small cock though amirite?
 
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Trasher2018

Trasher2018

Engaged Member
Aug 21, 2018
2,140
3,464
Wow ... that is some Engrish ... even that black dude is called "Stive", but his name is apparently "Steve".

Then the first "choice" is a game over choice .. so no choice. And then an "Affftor", what ever that is, is narrating ... before Anna uses the standard name for the MC.

And then the "Affftor" is directly speaking to Anna - and calls her Amanda .. I guess.
Oh yeah and then the MC is talking to himself (or the player?) who Anna is .. and that she got fat because of Steve? ... I mean we literally met both just hours ago? (hard to tell how time flows there). That would have been the time to tell the player who Anna is ... but even then you get the gist and doesn't need that exposition.
A more useful information would be why Anna and Christina live in the same house .. or is that some kind of dorm? o_O

Then the MC is talking about their 3 kids ... but he never fucked her? ... and how does Anna know that Christina saw the MC? ...

After that I gave up - the engrish is to strong in this one.

In this state it is just an unstructured mess. You have no idea when what happend. I guess the first scene is month or years before the Christina scene ... probably. Just because that Anna girl looks so different.

Maybe with proofreading there is a solid mediocre game hin here ... its a start.
 
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fabulous007

Active Member
Dec 30, 2019
673
1,116
Played it. On one hand the game have a lot of potential (beautiful girls, interesting setting), but on the other hand the engrish writing will have to be improved. It's hard to read and you can barely understand everything at the moment.
The game itself is cool though, I'll definitely keep an eye on this one.
 
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2.50 star(s) 19 Votes