Played through this yesterday. It's interesting, maybe not 100% my thing but not bad.
Some thoughts:
- I like the variety in the girls, even if they're not really doing too much beyond normal Koikatsu limits. As of right now, even without any real scenes involving her, Claire is probably my favorite. She's the most rational and seemingly-intelligent of the women... and I'm just into grouchy older types.
- Some of the characterization feels inconsistent?
- Laura's introduced as someone who doesn't like to be "treated as a lady," gets mad when you interfere with her stuff (like the time where you can fix the stuff in her tent at night with magic), and generally has an assertive personality... but also gets horny for Zahak because he's ~so strong~ and pins her down in combat training, even to the point where she becomes a total sub during sex.
- Even with an understanding that someone's personality doesn't really match with their sexual preferences, I feel like what she "advertises" to the player (a more aggressive woman that could possibly take the lead even with someone like Zahak) is vastly different to what you actually get in the sex scene with her. (That, and it just feels like a rehash of the "strong woman submitting to the even stronger man" scenario that I've never been a fan of.)
- While I understand that Zahak himself is supposed to be on the more "enigmatic" side, I feel like a lot of the choices you can make as the player don't really match up with how Zahak acts when you're not in control. I generally tried to play him as "good" and "nice" as possible, but that doesn't change his overall writing as a vaguely-selfish "looking out for himself" type where most acts of good-will are mostly for his own benefit or because he knows ~so much better~ than everyone else. There's exceptions where he acts more selfless without player input, like whenever he deals with Koriso or when he brings back the diving board for the pool, but most of the time I'd say it's kinda disappointing that you don't really have any influence on his personality.
- I also feel like "Zahak in romantic or erotic situations" and "Zahak every other moment" might as well be two completely different characters. His overall desire to survive on the island, but more importantly, make it off the island and get his armor back, makes it seem like he really shouldn't be interested in sex, much less developing any kind of romantic relationship with these women. But as soon as he gets flirted with it's like he suddenly goes into this Chad Thundercock mode where he's capable of making any woman have the best sex of their life.
There's more I could probably write, but I'm just going to leave it at this for now.
First of all, thanks for the feedback. I always take these in consideration, and they help me improve how I write these characters.
About Laura. I get your point, but her thing is that she appreciates strength. When Mc first gets there, she was one of the people that didn't like him being there. But once she saw that he wasn't a dead weight, she changed her views on him. Their relationship won't be a sub/dom thing, but a rough sex thing where she'll find out that he has way more stamina than her.
About the fixing her stuff, I'll need to check this scene, because I might have fucked up and not made it clear. The way it was supposed to go is that she gets made if you don't admit you did it, and get suspicious if you fixed anything she considers impossible to fix. But she shouldn't get mad at you just for fixing stuff.
About MC. These changes will be gradual. The diving board is actually made based on some of the players choices, I just don't ask anything at that moment, but maybe I could've let players make a choice there. There will be other situations where you will have the choice, but this could've been one of them.
As someone else pointed out, I don't think the route we are going with this character will make him good. The changes are more on how he considers the others. He will keep not giving a shit about people he doesn't know, but start
There is an important moment at the end of chapter 4 when someone he respects points out to him his bullshit. One scene that I consider a good turning point for him will be the next time they see themselves in conflict. The first time, with the militia, he just acted as you said: like he knows ~
so much better~ than everyone else. But this time he'll let the others help. Also, you will be able to avoid violence whenever possible.
About the Chad Thundercock mode. That is a bit intentional, and we will learn more about it later. He will talk about how he was made and raised with two things in mind: kill stuff and reproduce. Or war and sex, as he will put it. So, yes, he has great desire of leaving the place, but his desire for sex will also leave him open for developing these relationships.
Almost forgot about Claire. Mc doesn't like authority, but is growing to respect her. I hope you like how their relationship will evolve over time.
