Stuff I gotta answer is backing up, so I'm addressing a bunch I can answer offhand.
Well that is very true but you never know , honestly the main thing I like about both of them is the MC isn't a complete wet wipe and does have some aspect of dominance to him which slowly grows rather than it going to the other extreme where he just turns out to be a massive dick
hmm.. yeah they're both young, MNG more like highschool feel, and Luke's the young adult AND country boy meets city. Their demeanour, dominant or not really captured for me that old feeling from when I was a kid, ecstasy and the joyful disbelief and elation at the gf enjoying the stuff.
Definitely prefer a game that doesn't keep me worried that something might go wrong. Lust for adventure and plain lust are good motives, but if the menu includes emotional attachment to another guy, I'll go look elsewhere...
I understand, esp. this is a VN, though it could make for interesting "gaming" the constant worry. Anyway, I was mainly referring to what's already in the game (Alice's monologues, her worrying that history might repeat itself, etc.) and I do think it could've been better fleshed out. Also some similar or different types of worry, at least at early stages would not be out of place for Luke.
This bit got me a bit more worried. Punishment kink, don't think I have it... Sounds like a "justified" form of bullying - unless it's a "playful punishment" and comes out as another form of teasing. If it's an excuse to allow for actual intended humiliation/ego bashing that normally goes with NTR, but framed within an NTS story, it might be pushing it beyond my comfort zone.
Also here I was referring to what's already in the monologue and, later, in the action: Alice starts wondering, very on-the-nose-ly, about her desire to be punished by Luke. Though an avid BDSM-guy, I was by no means asking for more. Rather I was criticising that the genesis of the desire in that first monologue was abrupt and could have been better developed, like for example by giving her a taste of Luke's anger, then making up or just thinking it over plants the seed, etc.
As for the scene that's already there, I'd say it's FUCKING FANTASTIC, very naturally agro which, when done this well, beats framed "play" any time (as all spontaneous situations do beat artificial scenarios).
I'd also venture that, since you seem to be enjoying yourself, you're less vanilla than you claim to be
Intresting I actually find Luke and Alice relationship pretty boring. I see her as a fucktoy/doll for MC where she becomes super submissive to him and let him to whatever he wants, while also obeying his commands beacause of fear of losing him. She already did much bigger steps towards sharing him with other girls and it all happens in a span of a single update(chapter 4) but also a single day with Kate and Sophie. I guess the only other relationship I might hate more is Luke and Sarah (her switch to liking him/falling in love after seeing a dick pic) but that part was barely in the story so far.
I do like Kate thought and I'm curious what will be her development and I prey that her reverse bunny outfit from Ch.1 will make a comeback
Basically I just think Alice kinda goes with the flow and doesn't have her own thoughts. She is just lucky that she finds what she likes or belives she likes it. She is only allowed to do what he lets her, while she is giving him a green flag to have sex with others in a span of one talk with Kate and Sophie (don't blame her tbh I would also fold when Sophie and Kate were involved). In early chapters Alice belives that she needs to be more slutty beacuse Luke might get bored(she got that idea from Sophie), he likes the idea of her teasing others but wants to take it slow. Later she is talked by Sophie and Kate that it's selfish that only she would fool with others(even thought that's not how sharing works but Luke and Alice might prefer open relation rather then sharing one) but they only say that because they want to fuck Luke.
It just feels like I said very "owner-fucktoy/doll relationship" rather then boyfriend/girlfriend that are exploring kinks. That is fine I just find that boring and I'm gonna focus on the hot scenarios and hot characters (like my goddess Kate)
Some of this is more or less what I've also been critiquing/discussing. My overall assessment, however, is significantly more positive.
I've been going back and forth on mentioning the stuff in a review or to just discuss it here and wanted to reread the text. I'm glad to see someone else noting the same issues. (I even have a note on how Sarah could be better scripted and how Luke's boyish goodlooks, countryside chivarly-esque respect for women, disarming demeanour and ernst charisma would be a better basis for the various Ladies' interest in him- as opposed to
le cocke!).
But I disagree with conclusion that it's an owner-toy dynamic and with what seems to be an ultimately negative take on most(? aside from Kate...) of the dimensions:
Despite the mono/dialogues being here-and-there off and reducing personality changes to the span of seconds while making funny leaps of logics I think the structure holds. I know we tend to think of the characters' words as the story and of the structure less as part of the writing but the opposite can be truer. The progression IS written out well and visually IS paced reasonably (of course if devs and hungry fans allowed us more episodes and slower development it may be even better, but still). I think even the most radical of these criticisms, which I fully agree with, do not need any drastic solutions (maybe not even an extra render); just some revision of the chracter's monologues and some of the conversations.
This VN
is the most strucurally complex of the bunch, so it makes sense that dev's have been taking their time more in writing the plot than with the text, which is coming off here and there as if it's just generic fillers for what the plot is doing of its own accord. So I'm not only very optimistic, but can enjoy everything as is since even when some aspect of the experience is weak, some other aspect is doing carrying it well.
(really sleepy, excuse the typos etc.,one and all. Sorrieses)
