Hi all. Been a while.
First off, to rip a bandaid; I have, after much deliberation, decided to abandon the project.
This was not only my first porn-centric venture, but also - as many of you have noticed - my first "game" venture.
My main goal with all of this was to, essentially, test the waters, and I think that has been accomplished. The project was rushed in every aspect, from writing to formatting to gamification(?), mainly because I do have a busy life and only have so much time to sink into a hobby - but also because there is EFFORT involved in learning this stuff from scratch out of nowhere, effort I didn't want to spend on a "gamble."
That said, I do feel I have a much better grasp on what is important and valued within this arena now - and I think that's what's important.
Why I'm abandoning it; While I do think there is room for a "VN" like SHAME, either continued as is or properly gamified, the struggle I find when coming back to it with a mindset to ACTUALLY do it right is how limited it is in scope.
The original thought for it was as follows; THE MC, forcibly named Jane, - because I couldn't even get it to work that you could change your name - wakes up haunted by this manifestation of his subconscious and is dragged through a gauntlet of his life getting fucked beyond redemption only to then employ the laziest trope of them all - it was all a, somewhat prophetic, dream.
At which point the game would begin and Jane would have to come to term with himself - who does he want to be, what does he want his life to be? Does he want prevent what HE went through at all cost? Does he want to protect his family at all cost, even if that means sacrificing himself? Does he WANT what happened to be real? Does he want to be in control of it and sets it in motion or does he recognize the falling dominoes and lets himself be controlled by it? Does he miss Tilde? Does he seek her out in someone else or in himself? The dominant version of her? The submissive version? The uncontrollably degenerate version? Etcetera.
Now that -might- sound like a lot in terms of paths to wander and mix and whatnot - but in reality it is super limited just by the nature of the story's setting.
There is only so much you can expose a teacher or a student to before you run into full on fantasy and/or sci-fi, especially if you don't wish to drag it all out for eternity. There is also only so many outside influences available/in reach of a family such as theirs.
The wall is inevitable, and in my opinion, not worth the effort it would require to reach. (For one I would have to scratch the entire intro not only to bring the writing up to par, but to account for preferences/paths.)
Nope. Therefore, some time ago now, I set my sights on something new; Public Mother(temp name). A new project with a new approach.
1. A near complete - if not fully complete - outline for its world and all of what that entails as to allow for proper scope and plot progression.
2. A fully developed branching story focused on grounded characters. Meaning that the story, and writing, will not be hypersexual for the sake of it but as a more natural consequence of -within reason- believable character motivations.
3. Less porn. What I mean with this is less finding videos and whatnot that can be transcribed to fit the narrative and more customized images or videos that do fit the intended narrative.
4. Make an actual game. Now, I don't want a "grind" or anything of the like, but I do think I've come to appreciate the value of systems in how they not only allow for a certain breathing room but also grant a level of agency/immersion that I hadn't realized.
5. Allow for time. Though Shame was admittedly rushed, I don't think I ever saw myself investing a larger chunk of my daily existence into something like this, even if the reception hadn't been "mixed", that has changed and since been accounted for.
6. Activate windows?
However, don't hold your breath. This has been and still is a vast undertaking that I don't intend to stress, and neither should you (because I fully intend to disappear until whenever it may be ready)- whoever might be interested. I just felt I owed some sort of closure to anyone that did enjoy Shame. Thank you for your support and sorry if you feel let down, hopefully you find something else to satiate you in the meantime.
-Tilde <3