1. I would strongly avoid dream sequences, for some reason they provide zero erotic stimulation for me and many others; from everything I've researched from being in so many threads on these forums. But instead, those renders can be re-used for actual events that occur later, and without the purple haze special effect over it.
2. The homeless guy doesn't look homeless, I'd try to find actual ragged clothes that a homeless person would wear. Homeless have to wear shirts usually and a jacket because they have to shield themselves from the cold. You can take a normal pants texture, find a dirty texture online and just overlay it real fast in photoshop, then just put tear effects on it for a transparent overlay texture.
3. It's not believable for a homeless guy to be able to stand in a coffee shop without consequence unless he has some prior arrangement with the girl who works there, but that would deviate from the main character's story unless you truly have time to flesh that out. Believability is extremely important in regards to eroticism. Believability --> Immersion --> Erotic
4. I'd put the homeless guy in an alleyway next to the coffee shop, that way he can lure her into the alleyway, THEN grope her without risk of being caught so easily(more believable), because the alleyway adds a degree of seclusion and privacy, it would make the situation more believable. The alleyway also adds the ability to add a dirty ass mattress somewhere private where he convinces her to go. Then from there is slowly escalates into him bringin more homeless guys for her to suck off on the dirty mattress, then it escalates later into her being so corrupted she ends up making porn with homeless guys which ruins her career in one field, but she becomes popular pornstar for having sex with dirty homeless men, causing her husband to kill himself by blowing his brains out hahahah.
5. If the main girl can be easily recognized, she would probably be reluctant to look so stunning in public because attracting too much attention can get annoying. Most celebrities try to hide their identities in public, but perhaps the homeless guy recognizes her, and when she asks him how he recognizes her, he can show her a magazine her carries of her with him, but it has cum stains on it and she gets upset but secretly excited. Then when she gets offended he can blame her for looking so beautiful, and that he has no control over it, eliciting some sympathy from her, then he gets an erection under his pants and she sees it, and he apologizes saying she's just so beautiful and bla bla bla, sweet talking her, but eventually he does get more lewd and perverted because he's trying to manipulate her secretly; so he's not actually nice, but a manipulative lazy bum.
6. Also, why is it important to flesh out the entire coffee shop scene with so much detail? She's just buying coffee. You could portray her as going into the coffee shop, you don't even have to show the inside, then quickly shift to a scene where she gets a coffee and is walking out, that way you can save time and resources.
6a. Instead of her having sex in a clean bathroom in the coffee shop, why doesn't the homeless guy take her to a dirty bathroom he normally goes to piss in. Clean bathroom = turn off IMO.
7. She's so stunningly beautiful that it crosses into a point where it's unrelatable. In my entire life, I don't think I've ever seen a woman walk down the street so makeup heavy wearing such enticing clothing during broad day light while performing casual activity. I think I have a few times, but it's extremely rare, maybe at night outside of a club, but just during casual day to day activity? Sometimes less is more.
8. I'm not sure making her husband an old man is a good idea. If Old Men are her forbidden kink, then her husband should be the opposite of her kink, someone around her age who is stereotypical perfect husband, then for some reason, she is attracted to ugly homeless guys and dirty old perverted men because she's secretly a masochist.
If someone disagrees with me, I'd really be open to hearing your counter ideas in a productive discussion. I'd even read your response over
. Cheers!