ExorcistBoi

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Jun 18, 2018
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Alexander Ward? Like the man who plays monsters and currently plays as Jasper in the Tabletop Game Vampire the Masquerade: LA by Night?
 

Talothral

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Jul 8, 2020
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If this is anywhere near as good as TR:S, it will definitely be worth following.
In the end that is for you to decide, only thing I can do is write and weave a story that you will hopefully enjoy. And I'd like to think that between the years of the two stories my skill in writing, if not improved, has stayed the same. ;)
 
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0011

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Aug 17, 2019
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Unofficial Android Port for v0.4.0 Compressed :



ALLOW STORAGE ACCESS
My Android Ports have a 2nd Persistent save location. So, even if you uninstall the game, the saves will remain Intact.
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If it says unknown developer or something like that just press install anyway.

Give Me Your Feedback on the Discord Server. As it's easier to reach me there, than here.
 
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TundraLupus

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Okay, I played this version and it is pretty good, intriguing story, good renders and a good amount of choices, that made me play your previous game, and well I can already see a huge improvement on the English(if you write the story separate from the code I recommend using the add-on version of Grammarly on google doc), also this is more from the previous game but I'll mention it as to try and make sure, there are some scenes where it works as an animation of sorts, I have a problem with it because it isn't smooth enough to be super warrant in my option, I much prefer to have the ability to move the scene freely back and forward, and at my clicking speed, that is just an opinion though, and it won't stop me from playing the game, otherwise the game seems awesome and I'll eagerly wait for the next update.
 

Talothral

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Is mind control one of the abilities in the game?
No.

Okay, I played this version and it is pretty good, intriguing story, good renders and a good amount of choices, that made me play your previous game, and well I can already see a huge improvement on the English(if you write the story separate from the code I recommend using the add-on version of Grammarly on google doc), also this is more from the previous game but I'll mention it as to try and make sure, there are some scenes where it works as an animation of sorts, I have a problem with it because it isn't smooth enough to be super warrant in my option, I much prefer to have the ability to move the scene freely back and forward, and at my clicking speed, that is just an opinion though, and it won't stop me from playing the game, otherwise the game seems awesome and I'll eagerly wait for the next update.
Writing is more translation than pure writing, obviously there is some new text there as well since what was meant as a novel don't straight up work as a game with choices.

As for the pictures, it was mostly to save people's fingers. TRS has 6394 images, that paired with dialogue clicking (and there is A LOT of text in TRS), you can imagine easily what I was after with it the automatic forwarding. And I'm certain that this will go way past the 6000+ images what TRS had. So I'll make no promises, but if I find a way to have it as some sort of toggle I'll add it. But at the moment it isn't at the top of the priority list.
 
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TundraLupus

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Writing is more translation than pure writing, obviously there is some new text there as well since what was meant as a novel don't straight up work as a game with choices.
Got it, still pretty good besides that.

As for the pictures, it was mostly to save people's fingers. TRS has 6394 images, that paired with dialogue clicking (and there is A LOT of text in TRS), you can imagine easily what I was after with it the automatic forwarding. And I'm certain that this will go way past the 6000+ images what TRS had. So I'll make no promises, but if I find a way to have it as some sort of toggle I'll add it. But at the moment it isn't at the top of the priority list.
I can understand that, as I said it is just a personal preference and it won't prevent me from enjoying the game, also I just finished the other one and I have to say that it was very good and hyped me up to see how this one will turn out.
 

Talothral

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I can understand that, as I said it is just a personal preference and it won't prevent me from enjoying the game, also I just finished the other one and I have to say that it was very good and hyped me up to see how this one will turn out.
Yeah about that, I probably found bit crude solution for it, at least as a starting point but have to test it out first as I'm not sure it works like I want. But I'll try that tomorrow when I start to code the day 3 in, and if it works I'll make the changes to the first two days, if not well current style works until I figure it out, eventually.

Edit: Yeah it works alright, had time to test it while waiting for few renders to finish before I call it for the night. I'll push out the "dirty" version of it with 0.3.0 as separate "patch", which will work with future versions as well after 0.3.0 is out.
 
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Mimir's Lab

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Sep 30, 2019
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I came across your game after seeing one of the comments you made on another thread talking about your hatred of exposition. What surprised me was that someone (you) shares my thoughts on the excessive use of words in visual novels; What surprised me more is that after playing a bit of your game, you and I had the same ideas about how to fix that problem.

If I had to guess, what you're going for, for an experience as a whole, is to deemphasize the "novel" part of visual novel and emphasize the "visual" part, am I right? I feel this is what you're trying to do by how your dialogue is written and the render to lines of dialogue ratio. The dialogue is concise yet still has depth and personality and the renders tell as much of the story as the dialogue accomplishes.

If I was to give you some constructive criticism up to the point I played (I didn't get very far, working on my own game too ;)), I'd have to say the renders need a little improvement. Firstly, you have to be aware of scene transitions and how they affect the end user experience for each image you're transitioning from and transitioning to. Right now, most scene transitions are instant, making movements seem abrupt and jarring. You should take advantage of the many transition types Renpy offers you such as fade and vertical/horizontal slice. These transitions are an important part of your arsenal in visual storytelling especially in frame-by-frame shots like these.

Secondly, there are many renders that I'll call "transition" renders where you use them to move characters around the scene that look pretty bad or are useless. It's very hard to make good looking transition renders because the more body parts that are moving, the more you have to fiddle with to make it look smooth. There are more cost efficient ways to move characters on the screen that'll look better. An example is the scene meeting with the two nuns. Having the nuns move about in the store conveys no important information to the audience, instead you can first show the nuns arriving in the store, then show one of the nuns take a seat with the MC, then focus on the MC's face who turns to look at the other nun approach the counter. He can refocus on the nun in front of him as she starts talking to him, then look to his left as the other nun sits next to him. This saves you the trouble of having to painfully pose every movement by the nun to the counter and back but still conveying the same information.

Overall, I think you're on the right track here and I'd love to see someone succeed who's trying to pull of visual storytelling in the visual novel format so I'm rooting for you.
 
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Talothral

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Secondly, there are many renders that I'll call "transition" renders where you use them to move characters around the scene that look pretty bad or are useless. It's very hard to make good looking transition renders because the more body parts that are moving, the more you have to fiddle with to make it look smooth. There are more cost efficient ways to move characters on the screen that'll look better. An example is the scene meeting with the two nuns. Having the nuns move about in the store conveys no important information to the audience, instead you can first show the nuns arriving in the store, then show one of the nuns take a seat with the MC, then focus on the MC's face who turns to look at the other nun approach the counter. He can refocus on the nun in front of him as she starts talking to him, then look to his left as the other nun sits next to him. This saves you the trouble of having to painfully pose every movement by the nun to the counter and back but still conveying the same information.
Sorry for butchering the quote just... yeah want to keep it tidy. And disclaimer: I woke up recently, and my brain is overworking things. I didn't take this as an attack nor I'm upset, I just tend to be blunt when I respond which can be seen as hostility which isn't intended at all.

I'm aware of the transition renders, and it is something I've had issues going back when I was making TRS. During TRS there were scenes that I redid way many times because I wasn't happy with them. Same thing in here, the nun scene for example is pretty much accurate with the original text, and I had three different versions of it under testing, blurring, different angles, focuses and so on, and what is in was the only one I was happy with in the end.

And that is partially the problem, if I'm not happy with it I can't move on and if I try to change it too drastically at once I'll probably quit. And then I'm getting depressed that I didn't finish what I started, and to get out of the depression I return to do what I did and the cycle continues.

So I appreciate feedback, and I'll take it, adapt to it, but the change will not be fast as I need to keep myself happy with what I do. So unfortunately if it takes some pointless and not so great transitioning scenes to keep my brain happy so be it, and all I can do is to try to improve it overtime. And I've already cut the number of "empty" transitional frames down by few so it could be worse. ;)

And the transitioning effects itself, again I play around with them, I test them and they are something that are easy to fix once I find something I'm happy with, right now it isn't on top of the priority list as despite having one VN completed I'm still learning a lot, and once I get my brain to accept them I'll change them. It will take time but, maybe next version is different, maybe one after that? We see how it goes.

As an short example from TSR, I played around with transition effects already but I couldn't see a bloody difference in there, now when I'm doing this one I'm starting to see the difference they make when right one is used in the right spot. But I need to adjust my stupid over active brain to accept them and not to nag subconsciously that the previous way was better.

If I had to guess, what you're going for, for an experience as a whole, is to deemphasize the "novel" part of visual novel and emphasize the "visual" part, am I right? I feel this is what you're trying to do by how your dialogue is written and the render to lines of dialogue ratio. The dialogue is concise yet still has depth and personality and the renders tell as much of the story as the dialogue accomplishes.
Yeah that sounds about correct. And a lot of other irritations to pile on it so... But in my opinion the visual aspect is under used, there is potential for so much more than what is currently being utilized. And this isn't to criticize what others are doing, there are absolute gems out there that I enjoy for various reasons.

And one picture is worth of a thousand words, so why write it when you can show it? Well not always that greatly but one has to try. Of course this will increase the amount needed renders by a quite large margin.
 
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