VN Ren'Py Abandoned Sorrow: Rebirth [v0.99] [LustFight]

3.50 star(s) 6 Votes
Discussion Reviews (6)

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LustFight

LustFight

Sorrow / Joy
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2020
722
2,323
Kinch310 said:
Let me give you one example from the first post.

"You find yourself in a new world unknown to you..."

This sentence fragment contains an example of a grammatical and compositional error called redundancy. A "new" world is always "unknown." Otherwise, it wouldn't be "new!" Redundancy errors set off a native speaker's grammar ear, creating a similar sensation to hearing the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

The following sentence fragment:

"Purgatory, a world full of dangers and threats, you have to solve the mystery of this world and find friends to survive and go further into the unknown."

These are two independent clauses. They must be punctuated as separate sentences; we can also make use of a semicolon to separate two independent clauses--rarely, we may use a dash to indicate a longer pause before introducing a new independent clause. So the correct version would be: "Purgatory is a world full of dangers. (Saying dangers and threats is another redundancy.) As the main character, your task is to solve the mystery of this world. And if you want to venture further into the unknown, you will need to find friends to survive."



There's a great book called The Elements of Style, which better describes what I'm trying to explain here.
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I am not a native English speaker, so I can make mistakes in f95. I do not pretend to respond to messages in good English because I am from another country. A country that is VERY bad with that language.

And I have an editor who edits the text for the game, and if American sounds or seems strange to you, what can I do?
 
LustFight

LustFight

Sorrow / Joy
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2020
722
2,323
Why So Serious Bruh? said:
so this is a remake? so i see harem which is good but I also see LESBIAN..

will the lesbian be optional in this version?I remember last time you had the mc sitting and watching instead of even getting in the action while one of the girl "teach"

like as lone as it's optional and none of the girls is fucking behind the mc back I will give this game another shot.
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There is nothing like that in this version and will not be in the future
 
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C

cooperdk

Engaged Member
Jul 23, 2017
3,491
5,134
Better be quick with your planned tags. Once you reach 1.00 you have a finished game...
 
T

thryllth

Newbie
Jul 15, 2017
56
89
The ipatch download through pixeldrain in the OP is coming up as containing the Wacatac trojan according to windows defender.
 
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LustFight

LustFight

Sorrow / Joy
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2020
722
2,323
thryllth said:
The ipatch download through pixeldrain in the OP is coming up as containing the Wacatac trojan according to windows defender.
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Hmm, really? That's strange, because I'm fine and some testers. Try downloading from mega
 
S

stompintime

Member
Apr 18, 2018
138
175
Really want to like this game because the renders are so damn nice.

Unfortunately there is so much unintelligible bullshit in the story that my eyes start to glaze over and I just can't bring myself to make an effort to understand what in the fuck is going through the author's head.

Weird shit in stories can be cool when done right. Weird shit, just for the sake of being weird, not so much.

Best of luck to the dev though, these renders are some of the best I've seen.
 
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3.50 star(s) 6 Votes