VN Ren'Py Abandoned Storm Rising [v0.02] [Professor Cloak]

[SecretSal]

Er ... look, I appreciate not having to go through a clichéd backstory for the nth time. That said, this release doesn't really whet the appetite for more.

For one, having a .01 this short is a bit of a red flag, since it indicates that any substantial content will take a lot of dev time. And the sex felt like it was just dropped in with no buildup, just to assure players that there will be sexual content. Using cameos from established characters can be dicey as well. It definitely could work if you set the stage for them to play a part in the story. Not like this, though - this was more like fanservice, and ends up cheapening your story, since you're bringing in people from a much more developed universe before you've even laid the foundation for your own. Only time that works is for official spinoffs and fanfics, which this doesn't seem to be.

It feels like you've taken on a huge task here. Not only are you trying to learn two different disciplines (Blender and Python) from scratch, you're also trying to create an original story and somehow weave in characters from other media, and then package it into a product where people will be expecting regular updates and progress. That's a lot of hats to juggle. Personally, I'd recommend a revisit to the drawing board, trying to identify what is unique about your game, and making a roadmap for the project from start to end.

Figure out what the key feature is, because you may not be able to do justice to all at the same time. If it's your story, you may need to scale back on the visuals, reuse parts like rendering characters separately as character sprites and having backgrounds separate, so you don't have to make entirely new scenes for every conversation. If it's visuals, that's more of an uphill climb since Blender isn't the easiest software to tinker with. Need to find a workflow where you limit bottlenecks, because tasks are going to stack up and if you're fighting the dev process instead of having fun with it, it's easy to end up burning out fast. Good luck with the project, hope it pans out!

 

[Professor Cloak]

Er ... look, I appreciate not having to go through a clichéd backstory for the nth time. That said, this release doesn't really whet the appetite for more.

For one, having a .01 this short is a bit of a red flag, since it indicates that any substantial content will take a lot of dev time. And the sex felt like it was just dropped in with no buildup, just to assure players that there will be sexual content. Using cameos from established characters can be dicey as well. It definitely could work if you set the stage for them to play a part in the story. Not like this, though - this was more like fanservice, and ends up cheapening your story, since you're bringing in people from a much more developed universe before you've even laid the foundation for your own. Only time that works is for official spinoffs and fanfics, which this doesn't seem to be.

It feels like you've taken on a huge task here. Not only are you trying to learn two different disciplines (Blender and Python) from scratch, you're also trying to create an original story and somehow weave in characters from other media, and then package it into a product where people will be expecting regular updates and progress. That's a lot of hats to juggle. Personally, I'd recommend a revisit to the drawing board, trying to identify what is unique about your game, and making a roadmap for the project from start to end.

Figure out what the key feature is, because you may not be able to do justice to all at the same time. If it's your story, you may need to scale back on the visuals, reuse parts like rendering characters separately as character sprites and having backgrounds separate, so you don't have to make entirely new scenes for every conversation. If it's visuals, that's more of an uphill climb since Blender isn't the easiest software to tinker with. Need to find a workflow where you limit bottlenecks, because tasks are going to stack up and if you're fighting the dev process instead of having fun with it, it's easy to end up burning out fast. Good luck with the project, hope it pans out!

Finally , a constructive criticism...and not straight up shitting on the newbie. Anyways point taken , I was thinking of removing mia winters for now altogether, coz i do wanna rework my version 0.1 for my next release. But as for short updates , this is the best I can do with my current set up. But anyways thnx for atleast giving some genuine advice rather than trashing my game.

 

[Professor Cloak]

Unofficial Android Port of:

Storm Rising [v0.01a]

MEGA

Spoiler: Gesture

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My android port has an alternative save location, the save will remain intact when you uninstall the game so don't worry about starting over. And my port has a textbox opacity slider and text size slider.

here

You must be registered to see the links

you can request there, and below my message, there's a link to my discord

Thnx a lot

 

[Unknowns trooper]

[

Unofficial Android Port of:

Storm Rising [v0.01a]

MEGA

Spoiler: Gesture

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

My android port has an alternative save location, the save will remain intact when you uninstall the game so don't worry about starting over. And my port has a textbox opacity slider and text size slider.

here

You must be registered to see the links

you can request there, and below my message, there's a link to my discord

the link is broken

 

[Dilip1997]

Use chubby characters

 

[WastedTalent]

Finally , a constructive criticism...and not straight up shitting on the newbie. Anyways point taken , I was thinking of removing mia winters for now altogether, coz i do wanna rework my version 0.1 for my next release. But as for short updates , this is the best I can do with my current set up. But anyways thnx for atleast giving some genuine advice rather than trashing my game.

If I could add 1 more thing. Maybe a bit more info on MC's past. I mean you didn't entirely neglect who he was but there wasn't much about it. Like how did he become this agent or operator? Was he a free lancer independent type or did he belong to an organization? I guess the appearance of the dark haired woman kind of answered that, but maybe a little more detail about it. With him and her getting ready to talk maybe some of these questions will be answered. I also agree about throwing in a character from another story. Build your universe or environment first introduce your important characters then maybe throw in a cameo if it fits, but don't try too hard with the cameos unless they actually add something to your story. I know a lot of fans are sentimental about certain characters especially popular ones but did this character end up in a relationship? Would it be appropriate for them to have or start something with MC or would it just be a here I stuck this in here for the fans? Just some food for thought and good luck with your next release. Don't fret too hard about reworks. What's here is decent even though it's brief but with backgrounds I personally find it annoying for it to be some big mystery that get's pieced together little by little. Present the history and at least a good portion of the details and move forward. That being said good luck dev and stay strong the critics are always going to bitch about something lol.

 

[Elrompeortos2000]

Could pregnancy be a feature?

 

[Jonah Arkon]

Hard pass for the crappy tat on the characters. Nothing more than a big turn off and symbol of a slut. Game on ignore.

 

[Professor Cloak]

Hard pass for the crappy tat on the characters. Nothing more than a big turn off and symbol of a slut. Game on ignore.

Noice

 

[Professor Cloak]

Could pregnancy be a feature?

I will do a poll on it, in the future

 

[Professor Cloak]

If I could add 1 more thing. Maybe a bit more info on MC's past. I mean you didn't entirely neglect who he was but there wasn't much about it. Like how did he become this agent or operator? Was he a free lancer independent type or did he belong to an organization? I guess the appearance of the dark haired woman kind of answered that, but maybe a little more detail about it. With him and her getting ready to talk maybe some of these questions will be answered. I also agree about throwing in a character from another story. Build your universe or environment first introduce your important characters then maybe throw in a cameo if it fits, but don't try too hard with the cameos unless they actually add something to your story. I know a lot of fans are sentimental about certain characters especially popular ones but did this character end up in a relationship? Would it be appropriate for them to have or start something with MC or would it just be a here I stuck this in here for the fans? Just some food for thought and good luck with your next release. Don't fret too hard about reworks. What's here is decent even though it's brief but with backgrounds I personally find it annoying for it to be some big mystery that get's pieced together little by little. Present the history and at least a good portion of the details and move forward. That being said good luck dev and stay strong the critics are always going to bitch about something lol.

Thanx a lot for the kind words , and also I do really appreciate the tips , it helps me plan out the little details as to what the general people may like or may not . And as for the past of the mc , I didn't want to include it in this update , coz it would be super big with several new characters who are not yet in the game , and I didn't want to overcrowd my first update with too many characters , but I do understand your point , and I am thinking of doing a near future update which will only focus on the past life of the mc and the people who made him who he is today , but as I said it will be huge and as I am basing my game on a chapter-ish basis so it will be better if I make it a totally different chapter . But anyways I do understand your point and will try to give you a better glimpse on the mc's past in the next update but also I dont want to give you any false hope as to everything will be revealed in the next update , but still thnx for the advice and do have a good day.

 

[Ragnar]

 

[Look-see]

you know, from the get go the Mc seems like an ass. sucks we cant choose how we respond to ppl. like the first or second girl. some things like how he feels about the "boss bitch "makes sense. but kind of hard so far to actually like this dude.

second, theres no need for the oral sex tag. nothing sexual happens in this release.

tattoos...eh not really attractive but that's just me.

should be labeled an intro or demo. too small to be a .01

art could use improvement but not the worst i've seen. though one dude does look like terminator Mario.

aside from that there's not really alot to go on. it's like a 1-3 minute read.

as for the poll about making characters from other games... i mean nothing against it. they can have the same models same name just make sure they're not the same character. it'll get confusing if somehow bayonetta ends up in the game and you start wondering why she doesnt handle business.

 

[Professor Cloak]

you know, from the get go the Mc seems like an ass. sucks we cant choose how we respond to ppl. like the first or second girl. some things like how he feels about the "boss bitch "makes sense. but kind of hard so far to actually like this dude.

second, theres no need for the oral sex tag. nothing sexual happens in this release.

tattoos...eh not really attractive but that's just me.

should be labeled an intro or demo. too small to be a .01

art could use improvement but not the worst i've seen. though one dude does look like terminator Mario.

aside from that there's not really alot to go on. it's like a 1-3 minute read.

as for the poll about making characters from other games... i mean nothing against it. they can have the same models same name just make sure they're not the same character. it'll get confusing if somehow bayonetta ends up in the game and you start wondering why she doesnt handle business.

Well the mc is emotionally detached from people , and he too will have "character development" so ya, for now he is gonna be an ass .And u cant interact with people for now as this is just how the relationships are being created by the mc's decisions or rather i should say "mistakes" but once he realizes it ( in the future ) you will get choices to continue being the same or try to be a changed man which will have consequences during the end stages of the game . But for now , just let the story take shape. And as of short content, believe me this is the best my current hardware can pull . Even then when I try to render heavy scenes blender crashes and it gets so hot , I feel its gonna start spitting fire , so I do understand but this is the best i can do . Also , the bad art ....well it has no excuses, I'm just new to daz posing and just shit at it....but hopefully it will improve in the future coz I'm learning as I go.

 

[Agni2013]

I personally don't enjoy seeing characters from other media(like Mia Winters) show up in non parody works of fiction. Huge immersion breaker for me. From the poll it seems I am in the minority. Interesting.

From one dev to another, best of luck.

 

[Professor Cloak]

I personally don't enjoy seeing characters from other media(like Mia Winters) show up in non parody works of fiction. Huge immersion breaker for me. From the poll it seems I am in the minority. Interesting.

From one dev to another, best of luck.

I see , maybe I will remove the poll for now since at the moment it is kinda hard to implement my vision of these characters into my game , anyways thnx and good luck to you as well in your project

 

[e-disfunction]

I saw a lot of people didn't like the fact that I didn't say as to where this game is heading , as I thought it would ruin the story .But since so many people didn't like it , I added a bit of back story in the spoiler section . Hope this will give you a good idea ....

Where is this "bit of back story" so we can read it, please?

(All I see is the 'Overview:' made entirely of metaphors that says you are in some sort of conflict with a number of people and directly below that is a 'Spoiler' which describes how much sex to expect.)

e-d

 

[Professor Cloak]

Where is this "bit of back story" so we can read it, please?

(All I see is the 'Overview:' made entirely of metaphors that says you are in some sort of conflict with a number of people and directly below that is a 'Spoiler' which describes how much sex to expect.)

e-d

Where is this "bit of back story" so we can read it, please?

(All I see is the 'Overview:' made entirely of metaphors that says you are in some sort of conflict with a number of people and directly below that is a 'Spoiler' which describes how much sex to expect.)

e-d

Well I removed it coz it is gonna ruin the story and I felt it was better to let the story unfold as we go ( as you may have read from some of the posts above that the mc is emotionally detached and makes decisions or acts in a way that may hurt people ) so in my story first you may find some characters unlikable (including the mc) and some very likable but as the backstory unfolds u will see a lot of secrets and reasoning behind who they are today and this will change your point of view about characters both good and evil

 

[Professor Cloak]

Where is this "bit of back story" so we can read it, please?

(All I see is the 'Overview:' made entirely of metaphors that says you are in some sort of conflict with a number of people and directly below that is a 'Spoiler' which describes how much sex to expect.)

e-d

But still if u wanna know , what was in the spoiler section without actually giving away the spoilers , its that the mc was bred for war , a soldier without emotions, but after a costly mistake , he tries to turn his life around , but his past haunts him , and some people from his past are looking for revenge....hope this gives you enough material to understand the story without spoilers.

 

[e-disfunction]

Well I removed it coz it is gonna ruin the story and I felt it was better to let the story unfold as we go ( as you may have read from some of the posts above that the mc is emotionally detached and makes decisions or acts in a way that may hurt people ) so in my story first you may find some characters unlikable (including the mc) and some very likable but as the backstory unfolds u will see a lot of secrets and reasoning behind who they are today and this will change your point of view about characters both good and evil

But still if u wanna know , what was in the spoiler section without actually giving away the spoilers , its that the mc was bred for war , a soldier without emotions, but after a costly mistake , he tries to turn his life around , but his past haunts him , and some people from his past are looking for revenge....hope this gives you enough material to understand the story without spoilers.

Thank you. I understand your "spoiler" concerns but you still need to say something during the few crucial moments you first have a consumer's attention!

In the future, as a creator you need to provide sufficient info to your potential audience so *they*, not you, can decide if they want to read/play/consume your work.

If they do not have enough to basic knowledge to interest them, you will lose your audience to other peoples' products that provide enough info. Worse, if you give incorrect info for your work you can lose your audience for things you have not even created, yet!

Try this: Go to a book store or software store and consider purchasing a product with your money, time, attention, vote, or whatever. Will *you* buy something that does not claim to have/do what you need & want? Will *you* buy an item that you know does not have what you need? Will you buy items that you know or other people state it does not *actually* contain? And will you buy something from someone who deliberately or inadvertantly defrauded you in the past?

You *must* provide enough info *now* for a consumer of your work to decide if they want to try it. Otherwise, you will lose customers now and in possibly in the future!

e-d