Hello Arisushi, sorry for the late reply, but I still hope that my short review can be of some help. I just want to warn you in advance that everything I wrote was written solely through the filter of my own preferences and in no way pretends to be objective.
Let me start by saying that I hang out in off-topic threads of a few of my favorite games, and most of the new games I try are recommended by people in those threads. Talking to the guys there, I got the impression that for them, such recommendations also become the primary source of new games that are worth playing. It's not that I don't keep an eye on the "latest updates" section of the site, but after you've tried everything that is high-ranked and filtered by the tags you like, it doesn't become very useful. Because your life is not enough to try out every new game there; dozens of them appear every day.
So, if the guys in the off-topic thread ask me what I think about “Mayura Express”, I’ll probably answer that it’s from one of the developers of “One Night Stand”, female protag, graphics in the style of “Our Red String”, girl travels to her hometown by train and chats with a random guy the whole way. Look, I really hate to write this, but that’s basically all I could see in the published fragment.
Of course, one can object to me: “Well, duh, dude, bingo, this can be said about any story-based game, the characters just chat and that’s probably all. Try to read what they're talking about.” This is not entirely true. Our tastes are shaped by modern media, where actions and emotions often prevail over content, and, alas, I am no exception. There has to be something that hooks me first, and then you can feed me long dialogues and self-reflections from the characters.
Look, I don’t know, at the ONS for example. An elderly bartender stands over the bar, polishing an already clean mug and choking on self-pity and the meaninglessness of his life. A young beautiful girl sits at the table with a sad and worried face, thinking about her love failures. What's interesting and exciting here? But here you did a great job of creating tension and intrigue between the characters. They gradually notice each other, their thoughts take a different direction, they begin an awkward conversation, tension grows. This is the trick that got me hooked and kept me playing in anticipation of what would happen next.
And when I think about it, there's always something about my favorite games that grabs my attention from the very beginning.
Summer's Gone - a misanthrope dude with deep mental trauma leaves the house for the first time in a while, meets a random girl on the street, who gets hit by a car before his eyes. Poor Vic and crazy Marla. The drama is created.
Chasing Sunsets - begins with a very touching and sweet story of childhood love between a step-sibling, which ends nasty. The conflict has been created.
Hillside - a "damsel in distress" opening that always works.
Leap of Faith - Chris drags the depressed MC to a fast food restaurant, where they joke and flirt with a pretty waitress, and the MC eventually gets her number. It's fun and creates a playful mood. I'm looking forward to a date with Kira.
I can go on and on, but this will be enough to get the idea: this is either an emotional situation that makes you feel for the characters, or some kind of intrigue that piques your interest, or some kind of action that attracts your attention and makes you want to see more. Naked boobs will be not bad too, but I think we are not talking about this kind of games
In the meantime, I have the impression that I was traveling on the Maurya Express in the same wagon with Surya, dozing all the way to the sound of the carriage wheels and her casual blabbering with some random dude. Either way, I can't say I don't like it, I just hope the rest of the chapter brings some fire to the story and makes this part a quick introduction to the characters. Thank you for sharing your work with us and I wish you all the best!
