VN Ren'Py STWA: Unbroken [Pt. 7] [STWAdev]

[ninetofive]

Saw this pop up yesterday and decided to finally get onto The Author so I could play this after. Got through 6 chapters so far, definitely hooked me in with a pretty solid story. The pacing was a little erratic sometimes in The Author with some scenes being quite drawn out and others being over very quickly, it was a bit jarring on occasion. The sex scenes especially were over in the blink of an eye but Unbroken's one scene seemed longer so that's good. The one thing The Author suffered from a bit which I think this game does too is dialogue. All of the characters in The Author came across like 40 year old Oxbridge graduates with a wealth of life experience. While that may slightly fit the MC and possibly Chris, having all these different college-age girls talking like that was a bit offputting to me as a reader, and it made all of their personalities kinda blend together so each LI seemed less distinctive. Then again I haven't hung around "not a harem" of college girls from LA so what do I know?

So far Unbroken seems similar in this regard with every character using the same vocabulary and seemingly having a similar personality even though they all come from very diverse backgrounds. Anyway just some mindless rambling on my part, the writing is clearly top-notch overall

I'm not sure how realistic the game is meant to be but some of the MMA stuff was not very believable. Amrit's record was quite glaring. I did enjoy the nod to Rogan, Goldy and Buffer however, nicely done!

Overall this was a great start, nice renders, writing and story. Going straight to the top of the watchlist, can't wait for the next release.

 

[ninetofive]

Did Valentine read the note?

I thought this was pretty clear that he reads the note? Maybe this is only on the Rena route though.

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[erkper]

Did Valentine read the note?

He had to have. He told people what Davis wanted of him. That was in the note. The lawyer can speculate all she wants, but he didn't seem so convinced talking to her. Later, he stated it as fact, after having opportunity to read the note.

[Ediit] - and yeah, if that image shows on the Rena route then that pretty much seals it...

As an aside, until Vi identifies the body I'm not convinced Davis is actually dead.

 

[STWAdev]

Saw this pop up yesterday and decided to finally get onto The Author so I could play this after. Got through 6 chapters so far, definitely hooked me in with a pretty solid story. The pacing was a little erratic sometimes in The Author with some scenes being quite drawn out and others being over very quickly, it was a bit jarring on occasion. The sex scenes especially were over in the blink of an eye but Unbroken's one scene seemed longer so that's good. The one thing The Author suffered from a bit which I think this game does too is dialogue. All of the characters in The Author came across like 40 year old Oxbridge graduates with a wealth of life experience. While that may slightly fit the MC and possibly Chris, having all these different college-age girls talking like that was a bit offputting to me as a reader, and it made all of their personalities kinda blend together so each LI seemed less distinctive. Then again I haven't hung around "not a harem" of college girls from LA so what do I know?

So far Unbroken seems similar in this regard with every character using the same vocabulary and seemingly having a similar personality even though they all come from very diverse backgrounds. Anyway just some mindless rambling on my part, the writing is clearly top-notch overall

I'm not sure how realistic the game is meant to be but some of the MMA stuff was not very believable. Amrit's record was quite glaring. I did enjoy the nod to Rogan, Goldy and Buffer however, nicely done!

Overall this was a great start, nice renders, writing and story. Going straight to the top of the watchlist, can't wait for the next release.

For some Muay Thai kickboxers who start young, a record like Amrit's isn't all that uncommon. I've trained with multiple people who had hundreds of fights by their early twenties. Many amateur boxers also have fights into the double and even triple digits before they ever turn professional. Is it everybody? Certainly not, but it does happen.

 

[ninetofive]

He had to have. He told people what Davis wanted of him. That was in the note. The lawyer can speculate all she wants, but he didn't seem so convinced talking to her. Later, he stated it as fact, after having opportunity to read the note.

[Ediit] - and yeah, if that image shows on the Rena route then that pretty much seals it...

As an aside, until Vi identifies the body I'm not convinced Davis is actually dead.

Agreed, he's ex-Special forces right? If anyone could survive a sinking ship he'd be a pretty good candidate

 

[erkper]

Agreed, he's ex-Special forces right? If anyone could survive a sinking ship he'd be a pretty good candidate

Davis is/was still in the service I think. And especially if/when you're the one that sank it... He is a bastard, right?

 

[Avaron1974]

I'm not sure how realistic the game is meant to be but some of the MMA stuff was not very believable. Amrit's record was quite glaring.

Tenshin Nasukawa aged 22 with 155 fights.

Silvia La Notte, 104 fights.

If we move on to famous fighters.

Valentina Shevchenko, current UFC women's flyweight champion and number 2 ranked pound for pound best female fighter has a kickboxing record of 59 fights and MMA record of 24 fights.

Stephen Wonderboy Thompson has a kickboxing record of 58 fights and MMA of 21.

It's pretty common to see amateur records in the high tens or early hundreds.

 

[Faptime]

I hate to admit it but I never finished the first game... I lost interest at the very end because it was over too quickly. That and none of the girls stole my heart. I know, I'm terrible. I'll seek counseling. Hope this will be different for me.

The Lyndie/Aoife throuple ending was amazing, though!

 

[ninetofive]

For some Muay Thai kickboxers who start young, a record like Amrit's isn't all that uncommon. I've trained with multiple people who had hundreds of fights by their early twenties. Many amateur boxers also have fights into the double and even triple digits before they ever turn professional. Is it everybody? Certainly not, but it does happen.

If it's her amateur kickboxing record it makes a lot more sense, that just didn't come across clearly to me in the text. When the commentators talk about it being her debut my assumption was it was her debut for the promotion not her pro debut (it appears to be the equivalent of the UFC, and they talk about her fighting on the regional circuit prior), she is mentioned to be a kickboxer but separately to the discussion of her record and the word amateur never comes up. When they later discuss her getting paid 130k for the fight that also made me think she had been a pro for a while as MMA fighters are notoriously underpaid. So yea it was all a bit unclear to me but these are just the nitpickings of an MMA enthusiast after all.

 

[MrFriendly]

I thought this was pretty clear that he reads the note? Maybe this is only on the Rena route though.

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He had to have. He told people what Davis wanted of him. That was in the note. The lawyer can speculate all she wants, but he didn't seem so convinced talking to her. Later, he stated it as fact, after having opportunity to read the note.

[Ediit] - and yeah, if that image shows on the Rena route then that pretty much seals it...

As an aside, until Vi identifies the body I'm not convinced Davis is actually dead.

Yeah, I didn't see that shot. I thought he must have but wanted to make sure there wasn't anything else besides the "take care of Vi" thing. What with the box containing a guardianship (which wasn't needed) I figured Valentine would be taking care of her anyway. But since I didn't have Val fuck Rena that shot didn't come up.

Carry on! Nothing to see here.

 

[Avaron1974]

MMA fighters are notoriously underpaid.

Fighters get paid on their draw power as well as whatever bonus they earn as per their contracts and fight negotiations.

Your new fighters earn between 10 and 30k per fight so Amrit's pay was quite generous and probably based on her draw being popular from her amateur bouts.

Then you have the next stage up earning anything up to about 350k per fight. That was highlighted in the media earlier this week, Paulo Costa was trying to get 350k for his next fight, he won't get it because he trashed Dana in social media and Dana can be a bitch when he's pissed.

Then you hit your upper echelon earning between 3 and 6 million or McGregor that can write his own cheque despite losing his last few fights.

Then you have win bonus, knockout bonus, fight of the night bonus, extra's based on gate etc...

On top of that there are sponsorships and endorsements.

I wouldn't say they are underpaid. They don't earn as much as boxers do but they can make bank pretty quickly if they are good enough.

 

[STWAdev]

If it's her amateur kickboxing record it makes a lot more sense, that just didn't come across clearly to me in the text. When the commentators talk about it being her debut my assumption was it was her debut for the promotion not her pro debut (it appears to be the equivalent of the UFC, and they talk about her fighting on the regional circuit prior), she is mentioned to be a kickboxer but separately to the discussion of her record and the word amateur never comes up. When they later discuss her getting paid 130k for the fight that also made me think she had been a pro for a while as MMA fighters are notoriously underpaid. So yea it was all a bit unclear to me but these are just the nitpickings of an MMA enthusiast after all.

Aye, it was her promotional debut. And the UKFA is run by people significantly less greedy than a certain tomato we all love to hate. As for why her money is so high that will become clear further on.

 

[ninetofive]

Fighters get paid on their draw power as well as whatever bonus they earn as per their contracts and fight negotiations.

Your new fighters earn between 10 and 30k per fight so Amrit's pay was quite generous and probably based on her draw being popular from her amateur bouts.

Then you have the next stage up earning anything up to about 350k per fight. That was highlighted in the media earlier this week, Paulo Costa was trying to get 350k for his next fight, he won't get it because he trashed Dana in social media and Dana can be a bitch when he's pissed.

Then you hit your upper echelon earning between 3 and 6 million or McGregor that can write his own cheque despite losing his last few fights.

Then you have win bonus, knockout bonus, fight of the night bonus, extra's based on gate etc...

On top of that there are sponsorships and endorsements.

I wouldn't say they are underpaid. They don't earn as much as boxers do but they can make bank pretty quickly if they are good enough.

I could write an essay disagreeing with you here but that would be going way off topic.

MMA fighters are putting their lives on the line, training hard for half the year or more, going through high levels of physical, mental and emotional stress, for the entertainment of the public. Also remember anything they are paid is taxed, often heavily depending what state they fight in and where they are from internationally, plus they have to pay their coaches and gyms out of those earnings (incl travel/accommodation costs in some cases). Take those numbers and cut them in half or more to get closer to what they walk away with. Then consider that NBA/MLB/NFL players get around 50% of the revenue share while UFC fighters get around 10-15%. They are criminally underpaid.

Aye, it was her promotional debut. And the UKFA is run by people significantly less greedy than a certain tomato we all love to hate. As for why her money is so high that will become clear further on.

I really hope there is a nod to the tomato in this game that would be hilarious. Also noticed the Thug Rose reference which was badass

 

[micojive]

The ONLY thing I didn't really like about the game so far, is that if we are play as the MC, we shouldn't have information held from us that he knows. If we are playing as a narrator then it makes sense for the characters to do things without the players knowledge, but if we are supposed to be playing as a character we should be him. The letter that MC reads but the player doesn't find out about feels like a cheap "gotcha" trick that really wasnt needed because the story has been amazing so far.

 

[Tysonator2000]

I will say that I'm pleasantly surprised to see two gorgeous redheads in this game. The more, the merrier. If there were an Irish mob game, I'd probably die from excitement. The story is very good thus far. I'm teetering between Vi and El. Surprising? Probably not. Although, I'm slightly scared one might go full psycho again. Acting Lessons really messed me up.

Since the MC had protected Vi in her younger years, I'd bet she had feelings for him in some capacity. The loss of her brother could push them towards something. If anyone could make the MC settle down, my bets are on her.

 

[Avaron1974]

The player is always the player character,

Not always.

I play the role of casual observer watching the characters do what the writer makes them do until I can influence decisions.

I'm not a guy so can't really see myself in that role. Sure I can fit in the role for some female MC games but when i'm playing a male MC game i'm just here to watch a story unfold, i'm not any of the characters.

 

[STWAdev]

I'll say this for the letter since it's been mentioned. The reason it wasn't explicitly read to the player is because you know what it says. It's all but confirmed in the conversation immediately following. Original draft had the letter being read, and it only resulted in dragging like a mother.

 

[Deleted member 2744443]

Not always.

I play the role of casual observer watching the characters do what the writer makes them do until I can influence decisions.

I'm not a guy so can't really see myself in that role. Sure I can fit in the role for some female MC games but when i'm playing a male MC game i'm just here to watch a story unfold, i'm not any of the characters.

Understood, I seldom play a female character and some activities I won't participate in myself even in imagination. The farthest I have gone from the currently occupied dimension so to speak, is playing a Pirate Witch of chaotic evil, AD&D

 

[J.R.]

A good game start, and definitely a big step forward in the renders (at least compared to the beginning of "The Author"). The dialogue is - as expected - excellent, the characters well developed. And the girls .

But: I don't know that much about martial arts / MMA fights, and maybe it might not be so well known in some countries outside US. For me, unfortunately, this resulted in some scenes where I actually had to "skip through". I had no idea what the talking about was, terms and names were used that I didn't know what to do with despite googling. Let's see how this develops, but that could be a sticking point for me for the future of the game. It was way easier for me to immerse myself into the story of "The Author". Well, let's see.

 

[Bucketbot89]

Looks like this one is heading towards another excellent story, maybe even better than the first one (I think the subject matter is more interesting to me). Although the ladies here didn't quite grab me quite like the first set did (seeing Dru again really put a smile on my face). Can't wait for chapter 2.