- Dec 24, 2018
- 1,993
- 11,267
I agree, the trauma is too understated. It seems like just as he's starting to get his life in order, Noji tries therapy, after years of letting him suffer through worse. Bad dreams are a thing, but we need to actually see the suffering a lot more to understand he has issues and to empathise whith who he can't give intimacy. More flashbacks/guiltrips about Summer when he's interacting with the LI's could help with that, for example hallicinations of Zara being Summer while playing basketball for a split second, and he misses a shot, with his eyes dilating etc.
I guess part of the process is it is still essentially a college story, so even though it has quirkier character backstories, where all the characters have 1 degree of separation but don't know it - essentially it is a non challenging starting point, where all sorts of change can be thrown at the MC. Hopefully there will be more awareness of the mental health issues moving forward, because he's pretty normal, just with the odd panic attack, but mostly as functional as average.
I'm outta reactions, but further on what I just wrote above, of course everyone is different and capable of complexities so I agree. But as far as perception goes, things to some extent need to be made a little more obvious to heighten the impact of the scenes, especially in an episodic narrative.Could this be because you think the MC is an emo whiner, and that's how you imagine an emo reaction to a stressful situation?
In my opinion, MC immediately tries to help Vic because he is the type of guy who takes action rather than freezes in a shocking or stressful situation. His panic attacks are certainly not a defensive reaction to shock. And his own experience only reinforces his behaviour; he could not help Summer and unconsciously sees in this situation an opportunity to replay everything and save the girl.
But what I know about writing a VN or how people react
Nika has been raised to be responsible, but his level of external competence at relative normality would mask 90% of his problems to an observer. We're also observing even his internal dialogue, and there's very little evidence of trauma interrupting him. He rationalises his decisions more than anything. I think the flashbacks (like in the hospital) with dialted eyes could be more regular to show there is an antagonist inside his mental structures.
As you know already I enjoy this story immensely, so it's more a critique from me rather than a problem.
Last edited:
