- Sep 28, 2021
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- Thread starter Daggum Games
- Start date
- Mar 21, 2020
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Geez,you' re looking for perfection and 100% reality. Do you discard movies because of that? Watching only documentaries? Don't think so. Also,you think it will be better if MC works for men team? Who would play that? Or female MC with this team? Same answer. Dev is making his story to be simple,good looking and with sex. If is 100 % logical and realistic,this kind of story wouldn't make it.Okay, I liked what I played so far, but I have some concerns with the writing which really took me out of the story and characters.
1. Sports Science convers a lot more than what is show here, so far the MC is shown performing roles of an Assistant/Training Coach and a glorified Masseuse, but you have a lot more room to make his role important and beneficial to the team.
Solution:- If you have him explain his role in more detail when he's talking to his childhood friend in the beginning, and his expectations of duties to be performed while first talking with Ivy, I think that would address this issue. And we as players can see early on how significant his addition would be for the team, and what type of lewd content or situations his duties may land him in.
2. This is meant to be the best Women's Football team in the country, then it's mentioned as best in the world, but they also didn't do well in the previous competition; I don't know what to believe or think. Either way, why would they hire a fresher straight out of Uni with no job experience? In any big company for a non-entry level position, some level of experience is always expected. We're supposedly talking about the best football team in the world, there's no way in hell they would hire someone without any experience.
Solution:- No decent sports team worth their salt would hire anyone without real on-the-job experience, so maybe some past/previous teams in this Football Club were former champions, but they're on a losing streak now and the current team has yet to achieve significant success. If their team and status as a top contender is on the decline, it's more believable for them to consider hiring a fresher without any experience on the job.
3. Why would they hire a male for a female team, especially since they had problems with male staffers before?.
Solution:- To address this issue, he needs to be overqualified and an easy choice over all other people being considered for the role. He needs to have some merit about him that really sets him apart - having a scholarship or being a valedictorian, or having done something significant to help the team's owner or Ivy (without knowing who each of them was). That way, even though he's a Male and they've had their problems before with men, they would consider him of good character and qualifications enough to take a risk. So far, there's nothing mentioned that would warrant the best female team in the world to hire a male, who has no real job experience.
4. The MC is supposedly overqualified, having a background with athletics and sports, but any average sportsman or athlete who did sports in school would have a similar background. There's only one line mentioning this, when MC talks to Ivy first. You really need to sell us more on MC being well qualified for this job. His personalty is that of a naive, inexperienced, and sheltered young man, so I think it's okay to make him overpowered with his merits and past achievements.
5. I think you need to spend more time showing or telling us how MC actually managed to get accepted in that position in the first place. The way it is now, there's barely any mention of this, and the whole process of him getting into that outlandish position needs to be more fleshed out. Presently, it's over way too quickly. If you addressed points 2 & 3, this wouldn't be an issue.
6. More of a personal preference nitpick, but would you maybe consider reducing the amount of ink on Hana. The way she is now, her tattoos cover up most of her body along with her breasts, and we didn't get to see her backside, but I'm guessing it covers that too. I much prefer a woman without any tattoos, but a few select tattoos in some tasteful places can look quite hot; enough to complement her beauty but not overwhelm or overtake it. Hana right now has most of her body covered in ink, its hiding away her goods and assets. Much of attraction lies in how a person looks, and if I can't see her breasts or ass, or other intimate parts, without them being fully covered in ink, it takes away much of her beauty, at least for me. If she had those same tattoos covering just the sides of her body, leaving her stomach, breasts, ass and inner thigh areas more uncovered, I feel it would be more tasteful. Just something for your consideration.
For me to get involved and invested in a VN, it needs to have either - a compelling story with good writing, or good models with a whole lot of sexual action; Visuals and render quality are a toss-up which don't carry the same weight for me. If a VN has the first two in some ratio, it's a blessing. But if it has either one of these facets in spades, that also does the job for me. I'm either in it for the story or the smut, so I stand to appreciate both types of VNs. But for me, while this VN has great models, there's not enough smut and the story and writing could be stronger and it needs more fleshing out. And I find it could be improved in the visual fidelity aspect as well.
Things I did like were the models, most of them are unique and original, and all of them are attractive. I love the variety in body-types as well, and I quite like that many of them have a small bush down under. Pubic Hair on a woman is a rarity nowadays, and I find that a bush trimmed above the clitoris can enhance the vagina's overall look. So this is definitely a plus for me.
I hope I was able to properly convey my intentions in providing constrictive criticism, because that is what this is. Personally, I find your work lacking in some areas, and only write this in hopes of seeing it improved and ultimately succeed. I don't want you to be discouraged, these are just some things for you to consider and think about. Best of luck, daggum_games! Hope you find success in all your endeavours.
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- May 19, 2022
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Just started the game but liking it sofar.
Quick question though, the fem-dom, will it be directed towards the MC, MC and others or towards others only?
Quick question though, the fem-dom, will it be directed towards the MC, MC and others or towards others only?
- Mar 21, 2020
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Avoidable. read last two pages,dev explained everything
Thanks for checking out the game!
Fem-dom directed towards the MC, but as Call of Booty says, it is avoidable.
I am copy-pasting something I just put in my Discord server which covers off this and some possible follow-up questions you may have:
"Any of the kinks for any of the LIs in my game will be avoidable in that moment. As an example, suppose there is a sexual situation and the LI then proposes you and her try out a kink of hers. Just as in real life, you can then go for it if you like that kind of thing, or you can (politely) decline and you'll both enjoy something else together. So, you can say Yes or No and No means a different sexual scene in that moment. Alternatively, you can also avoid that LI entirely by not going down their path. That is a blunt instrument but it's a choice based game so there we go. For Jasmine you can already get off her path by saying no to lingering around in her bathroom at the beginning and checking out the MC in the shower. So two options for you to navigate in general.
As a general note, the kinks in my game are 'soft'. Nothing violent, no humiliation, stuff like that. Take spanking as an example kink. A 'hard' version of that could be brutal, almost animalistic in its violence which causes bruising and more. A 'soft' version would be light spanking that causes some excitement, something a bit risque - no pain or physical or emotional injury. My game will always have the 'soft' version, which is in-keeping with the feel of the game so far."
will try this again based on this
- May 6, 2020
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Thank you daggum_games for this great game. But i can't really decide which woman or girl. I don't know which one, i find most attractive, there are so many? I have decided, i love them all! I'm looking forward for more further updates. I'll which all the best. Did you plan a gallery in this game?
I'm looking forward for more further updates. I'll which all the best. Did you plan a gallery in this game?
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Glad to hear it and thank you for the lovely comments! I will add a gallery in future, once the game is more settled and I have progressed the story more. I'm focused on creating a lot more content for the time being.
- Mar 25, 2021
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I would gladly let any of these beauties dominate me
Except i will not take anything up my butt that is off limits
Except i will not take anything up my butt that is off limits
Man I love to see Priya character more she is so hot.You mentioned she is a single parent I hope she has a daughter,Indians are pretty so I love to see
Is Leah going to be a LI - she is the hottest of them all
Also I would hope any form of NTR will be at least avoidable - I won't be doing anything to someone else wife whether in front of him or not
Also I would hope any form of NTR will be at least avoidable - I won't be doing anything to someone else wife whether in front of him or not
Absolutely. The six LIs are shown in the banner image on this game thread.
There is no Netorare in the game and there never will be.
There is one avoidable pathway I am still considering which I imagine a few people might do some Olympic level mental gymnastics with and somehow label it as Netori... Anyway, the pathway does not exist yet, and if I do create it in future it will be obvious where things are heading and would be easily avoidable. The one thing I will say is that I am approaching some things a little differently to the norm, and this pathway I have in my head is no exception. My basic point: tags have their uses, but they are a blunt tool and can in some cases be misleading.
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- Feb 26, 2021
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I sense a threat
But in all seriousness, aside from keeping your hands off my gal, am glad to see another fan of Leah as she rightly deserves.
Welcome to the best fan club out there!
- Jan 4, 2019
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I wanna thank the proofreader for recommending this game. God, this was great! Very likable everyone, the models are super cute, and the dialogue is great. The proofreader really really did a good job. From now on when I play something with bad dialogue, I'm gonna recommend the author gets a proofreader.
- Jun 26, 2018
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Ok, thanks for the comment. Actually if the MC can't have a romantic relationship with all the LIs at the same time, then I'm not interested in the game.
After playing, my preference is not to discard any LI and that the MC has a romantic relationship with each of the 6 main LIs.This is why I say "be able to". Pretty sure what you say you prefer is what I am planning with the game. It's choice-based and building in LI preference is part of that, including come the end game. That is already happening in v0.4 with at least two characters... Give it a go
Thank you so much for checking out the game, and for such kind words! Great timing as well because I am v close to my next version release and that means stress, self-doubt, and fatigue, so this was a nice motivator.
OK thanks for sharing. It seems like you tried the game after all, so thank you! On the LI point, just to be fully clear, the plan at the moment is that you will be able to have a romantic relationship with each of the six LIs at some point, just not all at the same time, but you will be able to have a relationship with some of them all at the same time. The personalities and preferences of the LIs mean that all six at the same time is not credible in my game. Hopefully that won't a dealbreaker for you, but the characters are real in my head and that's how they must be for this game. There'll be no shortage of proper romance and interesting spicy moments though, rest assured.
- Jan 4, 2019
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Glad to help, looking forward to the update.
- Jun 26, 2018
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The truth is that I prefer that the MC only start a romance with the LIs with whom he can end the game having a relationship. In any case, in principle I'm interested in all the LIs, so if I cannot end the game with the MC in a relationship with all the LIs, it isn't likely that it will interest me.
Despite this, what I've tried of the game so far has been fine.
- Jul 12, 2023
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Does that mean we have to choose between girls? Or does one woman shut out another woman. If we have to choose between two women, which one we want to have a relationship with, then I'll choose the ignore button. Because nothing is such a turn off as choosing between two good ones.