I do tend to agree in some regard. The humiliation is fine in my opinion, (I do prefer playing a MC with low confidence, because fuck if that ain't relatable) but I agree that cuckolding should be optional. I do also see where the dev is coming from. You're new in town, and whoever you might be into, is more than likely already having a healthy sex-life, which btw is entirely normal. How that can be shown to the player, without it feeling like it's being rubbed in your face however, I don't know. As the dev mentioned though, they're going back to change a lot of the more slutty behavior of the girls, while also making them (the ones where it makes sense) less hostile towards the player. With Melissa already having a boyfriend though, it'll be hard not to show them interacting, which to some can feel very unsatisfying since they'll feel like they're robbed of something that they don't even have a legitimate claim on.
As someone who's not a fan of NTR, I personally see it as when someone's significant other is 'stolen' from the protagonist. Having a crush on someone while not having acted on it, or tried to make it obvious, doesn't really make it NTR content in my opinion. NTR is about having your SO 'stolen' from you, which heavily implies that you 'own' them, which is in and of itself pretty toxic since you can't own a person. Does it hurt when a SO cheats? Yes it does, but that still doesn't mean they're yours. That's besides the point though. You can't have someone 'stolen' from you if you aren't with them in the first place, and sure seeing your crush with someone else hurts, they're still not yours, hence they cannot be 'stolen' from you. I get how some can feel like that's NTR, but to me it just isn't the same thing as your actual SO ending up somehow cheating on you, and falling in love with the person they cheated on you with. I get that the feeling of hurt plays a big part in NTR, but to me it just doesn't seem right to me to make a big deal out of it, if the person you're crushing on isn't romantically involved with you. You realistically have no claim to consider them 'stolen' from you, when you're not with them to begin with, even if seeing them with someone else does hurt you. That's just my own 2 cents on the matter, since I'm certain that a lot of hard anti-NTR players will disagree with me, hell it's likely that pro-NTR players will disagree with me too. Hell if I care though.