VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Heir of Shadows [v0.2.2] [SpaceBird Studios]

[Tyrranus]

well, as you already said, your renders arent that great but they are serviceable. The writing is not that great, many plot points seem rushed or very poorly thought out. The protagonist is already making a lot of really 'dumb' moves so I worry that this will end up yet another game with a moron main character suffering from 'porn logic'

There is a good idea and foundation here. Just dont be in such a rush to move everything forward so fast. Even for an 'adult' visual novel a good story will hook more people than lots of low grade porn. Take your time, develop your world and lore, ease the players into it and let events flow more naturally. Trying to force a certain thing to happen just because you want it to is very jarring.

 

[Kalsan]

No NTR, not planned at least.
And about sharing/swinging/(And I'll add netorase to the bunch as well) they are all planned, but none are obligatory (and none of that shit where if you say you don't want it, It happens offscreen etc. If you don't want it, it will never happen ). That will be the norm for all fetishes, so don't worry about it!

But yeah... I should have made it more clear, your right, that's on me I'll put an explanation at the beginning of the game next update!

I suppose I can't convince you not to add
like sharing and swinging into this right? Hahaha. I really don't like when harem games try adding that kind of stuff, it never end well plus LI always end up looking like sluts. Ugh well since you promise to make it avoidable and I hope there isn't much of shit like that I will give it a chance

Edit: I just saw the new planned tags and ugh this went for "This game have potential and harems is always plus" to "I cannot believe the dev is going to add so much red flags, huge nos and deal breakers for harem fans" so fast that I'm impressed and disappointed in equal measure. When dev are going to stop adding sharing and shit like that to harem games I wonder?

 

[Harem Trooper]

Oh damn, this seems to be a great find but the choices, they are real here for once. I love it and hate it on the same side.
I tried both when it comes where to go, either follow Bell or go to Sarah and this will definitely need a walkthrough mod/guide.
I dont see Harem being in the tags so its either you cheat on Sarah, the GF when you choose to follow Bell and get to know the other girls or stay loyal, when you go to Sarah, but you will (as it seems) only focus on her.

In the end its good, definitely worth a try even this early in the project but its to early to say where it will be going. Dark/Good path ?

 

[BarbarrossaNA]

Did a small Patreon for this well deserving first edition. Great writing/dialog.. decent renders and interesting premise for a story. Looking forward to seeing where this DEV takes us!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

well, as you already said, your renders arent that great but they are serviceable. The writing is not that great, many plot points seem rushed or very poorly thought out. The protagonist is already making a lot of really 'dumb' moves so I worry that this will end up yet another game with a moron main character suffering from 'porn logic'

There is a good idea and foundation here. Just dont be in such a rush to move everything forward so fast. Even for an 'adult' visual novel a good story will hook more people than lots of low grade porn. Take your time, develop your world and lore, ease the players into it and let events flow more naturally. Trying to force a certain thing to happen just because you want it to is very jarring.

Can you please expand on what you consider "dumb moves"? The idea is really not for the MC to be stupid etc, so any type of constructive feedback is appreciated (If I may ask, I'd love it if you could join my discord and talk about it in the feedback channel!)

About your second point, yeah you got that right. I was tired of seeing 0.1 games that didn't have much happening in the story, it was mostly filler or hscenes, so I tried to add as much content as I thought was feasible without being an infodump. That probably made so it can feel rushed in parts. I'll have that in mind from this point forward, thanks!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

I suppose I can't convince you not to add
like sharing and swinging into this right? Hahaha. I really don't like when harem games try adding that kind of stuff, it never end well plus LI always end up looking like sluts. Ugh well since you promise to make it avoidable and I hope there isn't much of shit like that I will give it a chance

Edit: I just saw the new planned tags and ugh this went for "This game have potential and harems is always plus" to "I cannot believe the dev is going to add so much red flags, huge nos and deal breakers for harem fans" so fast that I'm impressed and disappointed in equal measure. When dev are going to stop adding sharing and shit like that to harem games I wonder?

I'm assuming the red flags are things like "Prostitution"/"Slave"/etc. If it isn't it probably still applies to what I'm going to say, just on a smaller scale. What I wanted to say is that yes, those tags are in the game, that, however, doesn't exactly mean that they are to do with the mc's LI (In the case of Prost. for example, it's 100% not with LI).

About the "Looking like sluts" part, it will depend on your views ofc, but as a rule, I'll never put a character in a scene if it doesn't make sense with its personality and/or backstory (The only exception I can think off being things like mind-control, etc, but I don't like that type of writing very much, so it won't be that present if any). Another thing that is important to mention is that the choice to sharing scenes is not much of a "Will the LI do this? Yes or no" and more of a "Do you want the MC to ask the LI to do this?" if that makes sense (And as I said before if it doesn't make sense for the LI to accept, or she is not friendly/corrupt enough, she just won't do it).

But that's about it. As I said all of the fetishes are optional and the integration of them into the story is made so that it only is integrated if you choose so. If the fact that you can choose sharing/swinging etc turns you off enough that you are not interested anymore, then that's fine, that's your opinion and I can respect that . I hope at least that you had a little bit of fun with the game, and that in the future you give it one more chance! Cheers!

 

[HogRocket]

What little we've seen so far is an interesting story premise in the making (I hope). I love bringing mythology into modern tales. Rendering and such can improve with time, I'm learning Daz myself and every day I learn new things. The one thing that kind of grates with me is the "quick cut" action-movie style movement and scene changes. That never works as well in a non-realtime game or VN as it does in cinema. Slow the transitions down. Make an animated cinematic if you need flowing paced movement. Clicking a lot to shift dialog or get people to make small movements is distracting. I'm looking forward seeing where this goes. Gonna put it on my "watch for updates" list.

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Oh damn, this seems to be a great find but the choices, they are real here for once. I love it and hate it on the same side.
I tried both when it comes where to go, either follow Bell or go to Sarah and this will definitely need a walkthrough mod/guide.
I dont see Harem being in the tags so its either you cheat on Sarah, the GF when you choose to follow Bell and get to know the other girls or stay loyal, when you go to Sarah, but you will (as it seems) only focus on her.

In the end its good, definitely worth a try even this early in the project but its to early to say where it will be going. Dark/Good path ?

Ok, let's start: It doesn't have the Harem tag because technically it isn't a harem game yet (It needs 3 LI having something sex. with the MC etc etc).

I don't plan on making it a good/evil path, no. The MC is a character with his own qualities and a lot of flaws, and I think making it a straightforward good-evil path choice can make it a little duller.

About having to follow a walkthrough. Yes, that is maybe a good idea if you want a specific ending, etc I'm almost finished with the 0.1 Walkthrough, so probably tomorrow it will be in the OP (It was supposed to be today, but I got busy with other stuff ). But I have to say that, because each render takes like ~40min on my PC, it's not feasible yet for me to have 4 or 5 different paths, with no connection between them. So there is the main plot that connects scenes between the paths, but the choices that you make will still count and make a big difference overall.

 

[Cotytto]

I hate the phone, I mean absolutely despise it. It reeks of sandbox style games and their reliance on clicking on random crap dozens of times to get to the bloody content to pad the amount of time played. Nothing yanks you out of the story faster than having to fiddle with some retarded little widget that exists for no real purpose. If you absolutely must have a phone convo in the story there is literally zero reason not to just do it like any other normal choices.

 

[acondo]

I suppose I can't convince you not to add
like sharing and swinging into this right? Hahaha. I really don't like when harem games try adding that kind of stuff, it never end well plus LI always end up looking like sluts. Ugh well since you promise to make it avoidable and I hope there isn't much of shit like that I will give it a chance

Edit: I just saw the new planned tags and ugh this went for "This game have potential and harems is always plus" to "I cannot believe the dev is going to add so much red flags, huge nos and deal breakers for harem fans" so fast that I'm impressed and disappointed in equal measure. When dev are going to stop adding sharing and shit like that to harem games I wonder?

I can't help but agree. It feels like a waste.

It is not worth waiting for updates if the limited content that the developer can produce will be wasted in sharing and swinging.

 

[desmosome]

It's a good start. I like the route variations. It will probably converge at "the meeting" with different variables keeping track of which route you took to get there. It's a good way to make meaningful choices.

I like how it dives right into the story rather than going through the usual exposition dumps. It does feel a bit rushed in terms of plot development, but it remains quite interesting throughout.

Looks like it could be a good one.

 

[Shaun@121]

The Heir Of Shadows [v0.1] Unofficial Android Port

Spoiler: Features

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My ports now have alternate save file, even if you uninstall the game your files will be safe in "Storage<Documents<RenPy_Saves" folder.

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- 322mb.

You can also join my discord server for more ports and support me.

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If you like my ports please support me for more. Tnxx.

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Can u add some other link bcoz it didn't work

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Here's the

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for the v0.2

 

[Ultralazuli]

there are some serious plot contrivances here that create huge plotholes when given any sort of rational thought.

Spoiler: plot contrivances

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i couldn't get through it without thinking of these things, and it completely drew me out of the game and hurt me for my trouble. dealing with a light migraine now, thanks.

 

[Kalsan]

I'm assuming the red flags are things like "Prostitution"/"Slave"/etc. If it isn't it probably still applies to what I'm going to say, just on a smaller scale. What I wanted to say is that yes, those tags are in the game, that, however, doesn't exactly mean that they are to do with the mc's LI (In the case of Prost. for example, it's 100% not with LI).

About the "Looking like sluts" part, it will depend on your views ofc, but as a rule, I'll never put a character in a scene if it doesn't make sense with its personality and/or backstory (The only exception I can think off being things like mind-control, etc, but I don't like that type of writing very much, so it won't be that present if any). Another thing that is important to mention is that the choice to sharing scenes is not much of a "Will the LI do this? Yes or no" and more of a "Do you want the MC to ask the LI to do this?" if that makes sense (And as I said before if it doesn't make sense for the LI to accept, or she is not friendly/corrupt enough, she just won't do it).

But that's about it. As I said all of the fetishes are optional and the integration of them into the story is made so that it only is integrated if you choose so. If the fact that you can choose sharing/swinging etc turns you off enough that you are not interested anymore, then that's fine, that's your opinion and I can respect that . I hope at least that you had a little bit of fun with the game, and that in the future you give it one more chance! Cheers!

Look sorry if I sounded rude in my previous comments, It is just kind of disappointing learning that a game you are starting to like will have thing you don't like at all (I despise any kind of sharing/swinging or stuff like that with passion, I just cant get my head around the idea of someone willingly wanting to watch the LI getting fucked by other males, specially in a harem game where it is you who is supposed to be getting laid no some randoms that have done nothing to earn it). Plus if you have been in this site for some time you will notice that a lot of devs lie and hide their intentions to add this type of content until they add it by surprise after years of development (not your case but I get PTSD every time I see a dev wanting to add it). You have been straightforward with your plans, I respect that and if end up doing it right I may give it a try in the future. So sorry about been rude before.

Still I think the game would be far better without stuff like that and it will attract more players from the harem community but it is up to you of course.
Oh and you maybe add something like swinging (avoidable) to the avoidable tags because someone that see the current planned tags and don't read the theead will think it is unavoidable.

 

[JohnF95zone]

Look sorry if I sounded rude in my previous comments, It is just kind of disappointing learning that a game you are starting to like will have thing you don't like at all (I despise any kind of sharing/swinging or stuff like that with passion, I just cant get my head around the idea of someone willingly wanting to watch the LI getting fucked by other males, specially in a harem game where it is you who is supposed to be getting laid no some randoms that have done nothing to earn it). Plus if you have been in this site for some time you will notice that a lot of devs lie and hide their intentions to add this type of content until they add it by surprise after years of development (not your case but I get PTSD every time I see a dev wanting to add it). You have been straightforward with your plans, I respect that and if end up doing it right I may give it a try in the future. So sorry about been rude before.

Still I think the game would be far better without stuff like that and it will attract more players from the harem community but it is up to you of course.
Oh and you maybe add something like swinging (avoidable) to the avoidable tags because someone that see the current planned tags and don't read the theead will think it is unavoidable.

Dude, you are like this on every single threads (new games especially). Just stick on those vanilla games that were established red flags-free, do not venture onto uncharted territory (in other words, stay away from newly shared games). New game initial release and/or demo is just meant to introduce the game briefly, a teaser, not meant to be burden with Future/Planned Tags/Contents, not meant to attract specific types of followers either. Anyway, it is better if you don't venture into new games, just check them out later in a year or two, which by that time it should be have been established if the game is red flags-free to your own liking. You don't have to be the first on the scene.

You have to remember this, that there is no single developer that's creating a game specifically for you, they create games the way they want, how they want. There are also developers who create contents based on what their patrons/supporters/sponsors want too, so I guess if majority of them wants controversial contents, so be it, if it pays, it goes into the game.

Don't ruin the experience for other players by demanding all out transparency from the get-go that the developer have to spoil contents for later part of the game in advance. What will happen in the future when the developer introduces contents that are not to your liking but were never addressed before? I guess you will start calling the developer a liar then?

Anyone is free to share their opinions and biases but no one has the right to impose (or force or dictate) it on other people, even if there are multiple other people agrees with it (their opinions and biases).

Honestly, I don't get it when people force a game to be categorized as either Harem, NTR, non-NTR, incest or whatever during their inception just so that only those special types of people play the game and not everybody else. A game is just a game, which anyone can enjoy regardless of whatever tags they have.

 

[Kalsan]

Dude, you are like this on every single threads (new games especially). Just stick on those vanilla games that were established red flags-free, do not venture onto uncharted territory (in other words, stay away from newly shared games). New game initial release and/or demo is just meant to introduce the game briefly, a teaser, not meant to be burden with Future/Planned Tags/Contents, not meant to attract specific types of followers either. Anyway, it is better if you don't venture into new games, just check them out later in a year or two, which by that time it should be have been established if the game is red flags-free to your own liking. You don't have to be the first on the scene.

You have to remember this, that there is no single developer that's creating a game specifically for you, they create games the way they want, how they want. There are also developers who create contents based on what their patrons/supporters/sponsors want too, so I guess if majority of them wants controversial contents, so be it, if it pays, it goes into the game.

Don't ruin the experience for other players by demanding all out transparency from the get-go that the developer have to spoil contents for later part of the game in advance. What will happen in the future when the developer introduces contents that are not to your liking but were never addressed before? I guess you will start calling the developer a liar then?

Anyone is free to share their opinions and biases but no one has the right to impose (or force or dictate) it on other people, even if there are multiple other people agrees with it (their opinions and biases).

Honestly, I don't get it when people force a game to be categorized as either Harem, NTR, non-NTR, incest or whatever during their inception just so that only those special types of people play the game and not everybody else. A game is just a game, which anyone can enjoy regardless of whatever tags they have.

So now asking what are the plans for the game is something bad? If a dev have not damn idea what is he going to add to the game from the start then I have bad news for you dude, that game will go nowhere. So you ok that after years of playing a game the dev suddenly add shit you don't like? You know what I was going to give you a lengthy answer about why your opinion is wrong but I prefer not to waste my time. Oh and If you keep going around lastest updates you will see me a hell of a lot more asking those questions that annoy you so much. Hahahaha.

 

[PopPop63]

I hate the phone, I mean absolutely despise it. It reeks of sandbox style games and their reliance on clicking on random crap dozens of times to get to the bloody content to pad the amount of time played. Nothing yanks you out of the story faster than having to fiddle with some retarded little widget that exists for no real purpose. If you absolutely must have a phone convo in the story there is literally zero reason not to just do it like any other normal choices.

I must be missing something as i have only seen 1 text message where i used the phone.

 

[Tyrranus]

Can you please expand on what you consider "dumb moves"? The idea is really not for the MC to be stupid etc, so any type of constructive feedback is appreciated (If I may ask, I'd love it if you could join my discord and talk about it in the feedback channel!)

honestly? someone else already nailed a lot of em here

there are some serious plot contrivances here that create huge plotholes when given any sort of rational thought.

Spoiler: plot contrivances

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also many people in the states will demand to see ID on a cop and/or never ever let them inside w/o a warrant.
getting out of a hospital is frankly NOT THAT EASY especially for someone in ICU, its also potentially illegal

theres just a lot of little things that need to be gone over again and rethought

the way I see it right now is you have point X(the start of your story) and point Y(where you wanted to end .1) and you took the quickest, shortest, path to get there regardless of the bad decisions itd take to do so. Pull back a couple steps and slow down. Take your time.

And once you've written a segment and consider it 'done' save it then come back the next day and read it fresh. Often times youll see a half dozen ways to do that segment better

 

[PlayerUnknown47]

Thanks.