VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Heir of Shadows [v0.2.2] [SpaceBird Studios]

[sageproduct]

Hey SpaceBirdDev congrats on your release. Paimon is very proud of you!!!

 

[Machete]

Shit... I like it... i don't want to start a new game that will be completed when i will be in a retirement castle...

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

What little we've seen so far is an interesting story premise in the making (I hope). I love bringing mythology into modern tales. Rendering and such can improve with time, I'm learning Daz myself and every day I learn new things. The one thing that kind of grates with me is the "quick cut" action-movie style movement and scene changes. That never works as well in a non-realtime game or VN as it does in cinema. Slow the transitions down. Make an animated cinematic if you need flowing paced movement. Clicking a lot to shift dialog or get people to make small movements is distracting. I'm looking forward seeing where this goes. Gonna put it on my "watch for updates" list.

Thank you very much for the feedback! If you could join the

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and elaborate there on what you mean by quick cut it would be amazing!

As for animations, that's a little more complicated. Even the renders alone are taking a toll on my PC, so it'll take a little while before I can start making animated CG

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

I hate the phone, I mean absolutely despise it. It reeks of sandbox style games and their reliance on clicking on random crap dozens of times to get to the bloody content to pad the amount of time played. Nothing yanks you out of the story faster than having to fiddle with some retarded little widget that exists for no real purpose. If you absolutely must have a phone convo in the story there is literally zero reason not to just do it like any other normal choices.

Thanks for the feedback, man! The phone now is at a stage where it really doesn't do much, I agree. But the general idea is to add stuff like the stats for each character, gallery, characters posting things on the status (kinda like the social media in Being a DIK, something to look at if you want to but not needed), and others QoF stuff. Anyhow, I'll try to make it less obnoxious!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

It's a good start. I like the route variations. It will probably converge at "the meeting" with different variables keeping track of which route you took to get there. It's a good way to make meaningful choices.

I like how it dives right into the story rather than going through the usual exposition dumps. It does feel a bit rushed in terms of plot development, but it remains quite interesting throughout.

Looks like it could be a good one.

Thank! And yep. You're absolutely right, that is the idea! I wish I could make the choices even more relevant, with some of the paths going in completely different directions, but for now, it's unfeasible, sadly.

I also got a lot of feedback regarding the pacing/plot development, so expect some changes (hopefully good ones ) when it comes to that too!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Can u add some other link bcoz it didn't work

Sorry to hear that
I tried the link and it downloaded fine, are you sure the problem isn't on your end? I couldn't test it 'cause I don't have an android phone, but if the problem is that it doesn't run properly, please specify, and I'll look into it! (It's an unofficial android port, so I don't know if it works 100%)

 

[JC07]

I'm assuming the red flags are things like "Prostitution"/"Slave"/etc. If it isn't it probably still applies to what I'm going to say, just on a smaller scale. What I wanted to say is that yes, those tags are in the game, that, however, doesn't exactly mean that they are to do with the mc's LI (In the case of Prost. for example, it's 100% not with LI).

About the "Looking like sluts" part, it will depend on your views ofc, but as a rule, I'll never put a character in a scene if it doesn't make sense with its personality and/or backstory (The only exception I can think off being things like mind-control, etc, but I don't like that type of writing very much, so it won't be that present if any). Another thing that is important to mention is that the choice to sharing scenes is not much of a "Will the LI do this? Yes or no" and more of a "Do you want the MC to ask the LI to do this?" if that makes sense (And as I said before if it doesn't make sense for the LI to accept, or she is not friendly/corrupt enough, she just won't do it).

But that's about it. As I said all of the fetishes are optional and the integration of them into the story is made so that it only is integrated if you choose so. If the fact that you can choose sharing/swinging etc turns you off enough that you are not interested anymore, then that's fine, that's your opinion and I can respect that . I hope at least that you had a little bit of fun with the game, and that in the future you give it one more chance! Cheers!

Just to say that I partly agree with Kalsan , but in another part, I agree with you too. I don't like ntr/sharing games, but I can play them as long as the game isn't focused on that and can be avoided. And from what you wrote I don't see a problem including a fetish if it is optional (the player decides if it will happen in their gameplay). The only thing I hope this is that n is like some there that say it is avoidable, but forget to say that if you avoid the content in question, you automatically avoid the girl who would be related to this fetish.

I hope it's more like how I understood your comment, kind of, that the player prompts the girl to do this with some random, rather than the girl coming up with this idea for the MC. I hate the avoidable type that the guy is about to penetrate the LI, she with an endless hard-on for the npc, and when the act is about to happen the MC arrives at the last second and prevents it from happening. This for me should not even be considered inevitable NTR, since the feeling of betrayal is already present since the girl was more than willing to have sex with the other guy.

So I wish you good luck with your game and I hope I didn't sound dictatorial, forcing you to make your game different from what you intend, it's your work and own effort, you do it as you see fit, only as Kalsan and DjKunn said, is kind of disappointing to follow a game and create huge expectations for him and in the end see that for a fetish or any other small thing, the story, which for me is the most important thing, has been ruined. But it is good that you listen to constructive criticism (which by what I saw, is the case), then I believe you are on the right track.

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

there are some serious plot contrivances here that create huge plotholes when given any sort of rational thought.

Spoiler: plot contrivances

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i couldn't get through it without thinking of these things, and it completely drew me out of the game and hurt me for my trouble. dealing with a light migraine now, thanks.

Some of these are very good criticism, and I'll 100% have them in mind in the next update, but some are kinda off in my opinion . Let's get to it:

Spoiler: plot contrivances

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Well that took a long time lol

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Look sorry if I sounded rude in my previous comments, It is just kind of disappointing learning that a game you are starting to like will have thing you don't like at all (I despise any kind of sharing/swinging or stuff like that with passion, I just cant get my head around the idea of someone willingly wanting to watch the LI getting fucked by other males, specially in a harem game where it is you who is supposed to be getting laid no some randoms that have done nothing to earn it). Plus if you have been in this site for some time you will notice that a lot of devs lie and hide their intentions to add this type of content until they add it by surprise after years of development (not your case but I get PTSD every time I see a dev wanting to add it). You have been straightforward with your plans, I respect that and if end up doing it right I may give it a try in the future. So sorry about been rude before.

Still I think the game would be far better without stuff like that and it will attract more players from the harem community but it is up to you of course.
Oh and you maybe add something like swinging (avoidable) to the avoidable tags because someone that see the current planned tags and don't read the theead will think it is unavoidable.

Don't worry about it! I'm also sorry if I for some reason sounded rude as well. Anyway hope you can give it a try in the next update, man! (anyhow the sharing bit probably won't come until like 0.4 or 0.5, so you have some time to play (just joking btw, don't take it seriously))

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Dude, you are like this on every single threads (new games especially). Just stick on those vanilla games that were established red flags-free, do not venture onto uncharted territory (in other words, stay away from newly shared games). New game initial release and/or demo is just meant to introduce the game briefly, a teaser, not meant to be burden with Future/Planned Tags/Contents, not meant to attract specific types of followers either. Anyway, it is better if you don't venture into new games, just check them out later in a year or two, which by that time it should be have been established if the game is red flags-free to your own liking. You don't have to be the first on the scene.

You have to remember this, that there is no single developer that's creating a game specifically for you, they create games the way they want, how they want. There are also developers who create contents based on what their patrons/supporters/sponsors want too, so I guess if majority of them wants controversial contents, so be it, if it pays, it goes into the game.

Don't ruin the experience for other players by demanding all out transparency from the get-go that the developer have to spoil contents for later part of the game in advance. What will happen in the future when the developer introduces contents that are not to your liking but were never addressed before? I guess you will start calling the developer a liar then?

Anyone is free to share their opinions and biases but no one has the right to impose (or force or dictate) it on other people, even if there are multiple other people agrees with it (their opinions and biases).

Honestly, I don't get it when people force a game to be categorized as either Harem, NTR, non-NTR, incest or whatever during their inception just so that only those special types of people play the game and not everybody else. A game is just a game, which anyone can enjoy regardless of whatever tags they have.

Well, first of all, thank you for the message/support, but I think I'm fine. As I said in the dev notes, although it's my first Porn game, it's very far from being my first game in general, so I'm pretty used to absorbing opinions without changing my main view of the games, etc, and he was just pretty vocal about it, I didn't found it offensive or anything. But again, thanks for speaking out for me, man! Appreciated

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

I must be missing something as i have only seen 1 text message where i used the phone.

There's 1 in one route, and 3 on the other, if I remember correctly!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

honestly? someone else already nailed a lot of em here


also many people in the states will demand to see ID on a cop and/or never ever let them inside w/o a warrant.
getting out of a hospital is frankly NOT THAT EASY especially for someone in ICU, its also potentially illegal

theres just a lot of little things that need to be gone over again and rethought

the way I see it right now is you have point X(the start of your story) and point Y(where you wanted to end .1) and you took the quickest, shortest, path to get there regardless of the bad decisions itd take to do so. Pull back a couple steps and slow down. Take your time.

And once you've written a segment and consider it 'done' save it then come back the next day and read it fresh. Often times youll see a half dozen ways to do that segment better

I answered all of them here!
I would be glad if you could have a look. As for going for the easiest path, that's 100% not it, and frankly, that sounded kinda rude. The thing is that I also have to worry both about what I can make (as in what I can effectively render etc) and that limit's the options quite a bit. But as I said earlier, I do see that I was getting from plot point to plot point too quickly, and I'll make sure to work on that in the next update!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Hey SpaceBirdDev congrats on your release. Paimon is very proud of you!!!

Thank you very much! And by the way, if you like genshin, I think you may find some similarities in the world very soon, but you didn't hear that from me!

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Shit... I like it... i don't want to start a new game that will be completed when i will be in a retirement castle...

Honestly I feel you dude, there are a lot of games that I'd forget for a time, and when I come back there's like 15min worth of new content in like 6 months

But that's not the idea here! I plan on making an update every 2/3 months, and no versions 1.1, 1.2, etc either, hate that shit as well, it seems like a cheap way of saying that the game is almost finished (putting a 0.9 on the title), just to continue updating after the 1.0, I don't know

So yeah, probably finished in 1 to 2 years max

 

[SpaceBirdDev]

Just to say that I partly agree with Kalsan , but in another part, I agree with you too. I don't like ntr/sharing games, but I can play them as long as the game isn't focused on that and can be avoided. And from what you wrote I don't see a problem including a fetish if it is optional (the player decides if it will happen in their gameplay). The only thing I hope this is that n is like some there that say it is avoidable, but forget to say that if you avoid the content in question, you automatically avoid the girl who would be related to this fetish.

I hope it's more like how I understood your comment, kind of, that the player prompts the girl to do this with some random, rather than the girl coming up with this idea for the MC. I hate the avoidable type that the guy is about to penetrate the LI, she with an endless hard-on for the npc, and when the act is about to happen the MC arrives at the last second and prevents it from happening. This for me should not even be considered inevitable NTR, since the feeling of betrayal is already present since the girl was more than willing to have sex with the other guy.

So I wish you good luck with your game and I hope I didn't sound dictatorial, forcing you to make your game different from what you intend, it's your work and own effort, you do it as you see fit, only as Kalsan and DjKunn said, is kind of disappointing to follow a game and create huge expectations for him and in the end see that for a fetish or any other small thing, the story, which for me is the most important thing, has been ruined. But it is good that you listen to constructive criticism (which by what I saw, is the case), then I believe you are on the right track.

No girl (LI that is) will have just 1 type of sex scene/fetish, don't worry! And yep, about the second thing there, you got it right. It's both about the sharing itself and the feeling of you commanding her etc I think. A good example would be Desert Stalker.

And thank you btw! I hope to meet your expectations next update!

 

[Machete]

Honestly I feel you dude, there are a lot of games that I'd forget for a time, and when I come back there's like 15min worth of new content in like 6 months

But that's not the idea here! I plan on making an update every 2/3 months, and no versions 1.1, 1.2, etc either, hate that shit as well, it seems like a cheap way of saying that the game is almost finished (putting a 0.9 on the title), just to continue updating after the 1.0, I don't know

So yeah, probably finished in 1 to 2 years max

Respect SpaceBird. I wish you to keep up and do a great job. If i'm still around the forum next year i'll sure give a shot to it. Or even earlier, it actually looks good.

 

[sageproduct]

Thank you very much! And by the way, if you like genshin, I think you may find some similarities in the world very soon, but you didn't hear that from me!

That's awesome!! Makes me wonder. I don't know much at all about D&D worlds, but could be interesting if they have Gnostic threads the way Teyvat is

 

[Nemesiz691]

Whos doing the cheating mc or mc gf?

 

[Shaun@121]

Sorry to hear that
I tried the link and it downloaded fine, are you sure the problem isn't on your end? I couldn't test it 'cause I don't have an android phone, but if the problem is that it doesn't run properly, please specify, and I'll look into it! (It's an unofficial android port, so I don't know if it works 100%)

Well everytime i click on it snd me on. New pages and after returning to original it shows download is starting but it never start and again it send u on different pages

 

[Tyrranus]

that sounded kinda rude

Just being honest man, perhaps blunt honest but honest.
I did read the post you mentioned where you addressed things. I still have some issues with a few of those points but its not my game nor my story. Ive given ya the feedback I think will help