One of the two goals can be completed.
REALLY !!!!????
TEACH ME !!! (should i have to kneel like Dr. Strange?)
1. Hang out with the maid repeatedly to improve your relationship.
2. Find her in the living room and ask to join her and Nina for the massage: If relationship is good enough, she'll agree.
3. Go along with the massage, Nina will suggest massaging Lisa. But get her riled up first.
4. Tart up in the bathroom, then call Lisa from your room while she's at work. Do this repeatedly to increase her desire.
5. When her desire has been cranked up, find her in the library in the evening and give her a massage.
6. Go back and report to Nina (probably in the games room at this point) for your reward.
7. Nothing changes.
8. Ponder the futility of existence.
9. Achieve nirvana.
(Some of the steps require a little grinding, 8 and 9 in particular.)