VN Ren'Py The Sinful City Fight for Love [v0.3] [Peacemaker]

[Peacemaker93]

Isi is literally the cutest VN girl I have ever seen. Great first release. I have to ask though, did you ever release another .1 of a game before? The ending gave me a serious case of Deja vu from another VN I really enjoyed the first release of. Anyways, this game is off to a great start and you are a very talented writer. Keep up the good work. If I can give you any advice, it will be to ignore the people who leave comments like "Too much of the Daughters POV and I hate lesbians".
Trust yourself and make the game how you want to. You are already on the right path. P.S. the joking/teasing scenes between Abbi and Isi were super hot.

Thank you so much for your nice words and review. I love my Isi, and don’t worry, I plan to tell this story in my way. Also yes, this is my first game ever.

 

[kibaris]

Well, it should be your preference; you can’t make a mistake. Enter the one that works for you.

Maybe she doesn’t give a damn about US age requirements, many teens and adults do drugs and that is illegal for any age.

it can't be at our preference because some elements in the story mentioned after the age's choice can make them incoherent.
For exemple, Abbi is to young to work and go to school, and mc show an old picture of her in american idol, (minimal age 15) ,now she has to be older but since she still in school and to young to work she cant be more than 18.
Abbi also mentions that her first kiss 3 years ago and that she was maybe the same age as Isi is now. so at least 3 years separate them, so Isi have to be 14-15 based on Abbi's age.

for Mickey, mc said that she have to chose a college and she's older than Abbi.
we also have a picture of Mickey a few years back (so 2 or more) with an already adult body, and since she said that when she had Isi's age, she was flat as a plank, she have to be older than Isi is now on that picture but also older than Abbi was in her old picture , so 18+ on that picture and at least 2 years more now so 20years or more.
Her father is supposed to care about his daughters, so if she wasn't old enough to drink, it wouldn't make much sense for him to let her have her stash of booze at home and letting her drink like that for 1 year.

Mc is also supposed to be 36 years old but if Mickey is min 20-21, Abbi 17-18, and Isi 14-15 that would mean that he had his first daughter at 15 so i really think that you should change mc age to 40+ for it to be a little more realistic .(and it would fit better with his look ^^)

 

[Look-see]

i really wanna like this game but holy crap was that a lot of reading with almost no interaction whatsoever. the game damn near feels kinetic and the only thing you can decide on is who to fuck or not.

no ability to decide to flirt, no ability to decide how to fight, no ability to choose if the sisters decide to flirt with each other, no...Nothing.

i mean i like harem games as much as the next guy but yeah right now i pretty much just got to the point i realized you cant interact alot so i eventually got to just skipping the text just to see how many choices you got in the game and it's only 2.

i dont know unlike most vn's i barely feel like the player in this game and more just the reader.

the good news is i'll probably still DL the game but it'll only be just to see the sex scenes and not so much the story since it all seems to be kinetic anyways. it's hard for me to appreciate the build up that leads to the sex scenes when i have so little input.

 

[Peacemaker93]

it can't be at our preference because some elements in the story mentioned after the age's choice can make them incoherent.
For exemple, Abbi is to young to work and go to school, and mc show an old picture of her in american idol, (minimal age 15) ,now she has to be older but since she still in school and to young to work she cant be more than 18.
Abbi also mentions that her first kiss 3 years ago and that she was maybe the same age as Isi is now. so at least 3 years separate them, so Isi have to be 14-15 based on Abbi's age.

for Mickey, mc said that she have to chose a college and she's older than Abbi.
we also have a picture of Mickey a few years back (so 2 or more) with an already adult body, and since she said that when she had Isi's age, she was flat as a plank, she have to be older than Isi is now on that picture but also older than Abbi was in her old picture , so 18+ on that picture and at least 2 years more now so 20years or more.
Her father is supposed to care about his daughters, so if she wasn't old enough to drink, it wouldn't make much sense for him to let her have her stash of booze at home and letting her drink like that for 1 year.

Mc is also supposed to be 36 years old but if Mickey is min 20-21, Abbi 17-18, and Isi 14-15 that would mean that he had his first daughter at 15 so i really think that you should change mc age to 40+ for it to be a little more realistic .(and it would fit better with his look ^^)

Bro, Mickey can be 18, Abbi 17, and Isi 15, for example. You concentrate on such irrelevant things. Can't you just enjoy the story without needing to ground everything in the real world?

 

[Peacemaker93]

i really wanna like this game but holy crap was that a lot of reading with almost no interaction whatsoever. the game damn near feels kinetic and the only thing you can decide on is who to fuck or not.

no ability to decide to flirt, no ability to decide how to fight, no ability to choose if the sisters decide to flirt with each other, no...Nothing.

i mean i like harem games as much as the next guy but yeah right now i pretty much just got to the point i realized you cant interact alot so i eventually got to just skipping the text just to see how many choices you got in the game and it's only 2.

i dont know unlike most vn's i barely feel like the player in this game and more just the reader.

the good news is i'll probably still DL the game but it'll only be just to see the sex scenes and not so much the story since it all seems to be kinetic anyways. it's hard for me to appreciate the build up that leads to the sex scenes when i have so little input.

It's an introduction to the story and to the characters and the game just started it's version 0.1. If you want a plain porn game with constant action, then maybe this game is not for you.

 

[Look-see]

It's an introduction to the story and to the characters and the game just started it's version 0.1. If you want a plain porn game with constant action, then maybe this game is not for you.

thats the opposite of what i'm looking for. i want to be able to make choices for the MC besides who he fucks. but at the moment that's literally all it is.

you dont get to decide anything on how he reacts or responds to anything. when he finds out that the girls trick him into stripping he just lets that slide for example. not even a choice between. "let it slide" or "pretend to be mad"

in the costume party with "party girl" even a simple option like "make eye contact" or "dont".

the "GAME" part of this VN has basically been reduced to "fuck" or "not to fuck"

and thats the main problem. so far the story telling is good but the interaction is not and it basically IS A PLAIN PORN "story" it's barely a "game" without the constant action(just sufficient action).

 

[Peacemaker93]

thats the opposite of what i'm looking for. i want to be able to make choices for the MC besides who he fucks. but at the moment that's literally all it is.

you dont get to decide anything on how he reacts or responds to anything. when he finds out that the girls trick him into stripping he just lets that slide for example. not even a choice between. "let it slide" or "pretend to be mad"

in the costume party with "party girl" even a simple option like "make eye contact" or "dont".

the "GAME" part of this VN has basically been reduced to "fuck" or "not to fuck"

and thats the main problem. so far the story telling is good but the interaction is not and it basically IS A PLAIN PORN "story" it's barely a "game" without the constant action(just sufficient action).

What do you want me to say? I'm new to this, and this is my first game. I'm learning the ropes, and I will evolve as a game developer over time. I know I can write, and I try so hard to make something cool. I am learning to code and do animations, renders, and so on. This is what I have at the moment, and I don't say it's perfect, but if you don't see value in what I have, then I really don't know what I can do about it.

"Let it slide" or "pretend to be mad" That would be an illusion of choice.

 

[kibaris]

Bro, Mickey can be 18, Abbi 17, and Isi 15, for example. You concentrate on such irrelevant things. Can't you just enjoy the story without needing to ground everything in the real world?

why would they be irelevant?
i only took details from the story you tell us, the elements about her being too young to work and the distinction between school and college, you put them in your story,
it's the same thing when Mickey says she was flat when she was Isi's age, and we have a photo of Mickey already well developed a few years before, she's comparable to Abbi, except that several years have passed and again it's said in the game, it has nothing to do with the real world.

The only thing directly connected to the real world that i took is american idol and beeing 21years old for drinking but even without that,other element that you put yourself in your game made impossible for Mickey to have 18 in the present of your story.

The story has to keep a certain coherence no matter what it tells, I'm just pointing them out to help and also for players who would like to have an idea of the most realistic age for the characters, not to freely criticize your game.

 

[Look-see]

What do you want me to say? I'm new to this, and this is my first game. I'm learning the ropes, and I will evolve as a game developer over time. I know I can write, and I try so hard to make something cool. I am learning to code and do animations, renders, and so on. This is what I have at the moment, and I don't say it's perfect, but if you don't see value in what I have, then I really don't know what I can do about it.

at no point did i say "i dont see value." you seem to be focusing on the negatives and seem to think i'm bringing you down. the story telling is GOOD, the renders are GOOD, animations are GOOD.

all i'm saying is for a player it would be nice to have more options on how the MC reacts to certain things. that is all.

i can not stress enough this is one of the few games i would still download just to see how it progresses even though i dont have a lot of choices in the game. but having more interaction options would be awesome and usually what happens in a VN.

That is all im trying to say.

it just feels to me that its missing that "interaction" element of a VN.

to be clear i hope you keep going and hope the game does good. if this is how you decide to make your game then absolutely go for it.

 

[Peacemaker93]

why would they be irelevant?
i only took details from the story you tell us, the elements about her being too young to work and the distinction between school and college, you put them in your story,
it's the same thing when Mickey says she was flat when she was Isi's age, and we have a photo of Mickey already well developed a few years before, she's comparable to Abbi, except that several years have passed and again it's said in the game, it has nothing to do with the real world.

The only thing directly connected to the real world that i took is american idol and beeing 21years old for drinking but even without that,other element that you put yourself in your game made impossible for Mickey to have 18 in the present of your story.

The story has to keep a certain coherence no matter what it tells, I'm just pointing them out to help and also for players who would like to have an idea of the most realistic age for the characters, not to freely criticize your game.

Okay, we will change MC to be 43 in the next update, and then you will have room to calculate any age. Is that okay? Also, I will change his ID. I noticed mistakes there, both with gender and height. Thanks for pointing out these problems.

 

[Peacemaker93]

at no point did i say "i dont see value." you seem to be focusing on the negatives and seem to think i'm bringing you down. the story telling is GOOD, the renders are GOOD, animations are GOOD.

all i'm saying is for a player it would be nice to have more options on how the MC reacts to certain things. that is all.

i can not stress enough this is one of the few games i would still download just to see how it progresses even though i dont have a lot of choices in the game. but having more interaction options would be awesome and usually what happens in a VN.

That is all im trying to say.

it just feels to me that its missing that "interaction" element of a VN.

to be clear i hope you keep going and hope the game does good. if this is how you decide to make your game then absolutely go for it.

I never said I didn't plan to make interactions and choices; I just said I had to learn how to do it in code in a good way. So far, I only know how to use screens, but that would mean that with every choice, I need to make a new label, and that label must work with other labels, and soon enough, that will become a maze. I need to learn how to make IF statements and how to do it efficiently. If you know how and can help in any way, I would be glad to learn from you. So far, I am self-taught; I watch tutorials on YouTube and so on.

 

[Look-see]

Okay, we will change MC to be 43 in the next update, and then you will have room to calculate any age. Is that okay? Also, I will change his ID. I noticed mistakes there, both with gender and height. Thanks for pointing out these problems.

not gonna lie i had trouble with the ages to. having the default age already set could be risky with patreon. and unless you leave the actual ages here in the dev notes. my only other recommendation would be whenever the game asks you to tell their age have render of the character holding up fingers on each hand individually. for example if one character is 21 then one hand should hold 2 fingers and the other 1. of course if the second number passes 5 then it becomes an issue.

but either way its an idea.

 

[Peacemaker93]

not gonna lie i had trouble with the ages to. having the default age already set could be risky with patreon. and unless you leave the actual ages here in the dev notes. my only other recommendation would be whenever the game asks you to tell their age have render of the character holding up fingers on each hand individually. for example if one character is 21 then one hand should hold 2 fingers and the other 1. of course if the second number passes 5 then it becomes an issue.

but either way its an idea.

It would end before it had a chance to start. I can't risk anything with the state of patreon now.

 

[dreamgoat]

Thanks for sharing dev this looks very interesting ain't going to lie. I am very impressed with the renders and ill be checking this out when I get some time. I wish you success in your current project.

 

[| Vee |]

Hey Congrats Blud! Really happy you made your first release! (been following you from your development thread).

Loved the story, wholesome vibes and cast BUT MICKAELA IS JUST

A few spelling mistakes here and there otherwise GG and I know Renpy is a bitch about music. If I find something helpful about it I'll share it with you. A bit bumped about name being changed, first one was perfect for this story but nothing can be done sadly and I know situation with the other Dev about name.

A bit request if you will, add a bit of feet too if not in sex scenes than just shots will do too as you added feet into renders too.

KEEP GROWING!

GOLDLUCK! Peacemaker93

 

[Dark Silence]

As far as grammar mistakes go, I just quickly skipped through the script and the first one I saw was: "I can't believe 8 months has passed already."
Most mistakes are like this (using the wrong form/tense of a word) with only few spelling mistakes.

I see no problem with that at all. 'has' is the proper terminology for that statement. If you use 'had' or 'have' it doesn't give the proper feel to the statement. If he had started the sentence this way: "8 months have passed" that would be fine. 'had' just doesn't work at all.

 

[BBC246]

is this a kinetic novel? its no choices

 

[carting89]

lmao this game is gonna get banned bcz of of the midget with gloves in the center.

 

[Peacemaker93]

lmao this game is gonna get banned bcz of of the midget with gloves in the center.

Not a love interest ATM don't worry. Years in game time will pass before that change.

 

[Bhaiyajii19]

Is there a Android version for the game..