Here is my initial feedbacks and reviews for this game (
v0.2).
General Suggestions
For your first game, develop what you are most comfortable with (especially the game features & mechanics), at the most comfortable pace for you, using the tech or tools that you are most competent with. As you gain more experience, then you you can 'spice' up your game (or future projects) by adding more 'bling' features. Having played this game so far, I say you are doing just that. You like music and adding it to your game which is a nice touch (however I don't know they are good musical score or not).
It appears that your game appeals to very niche or select type of players: fantasy harem in school. Considering this, it might be a hard sell, especially in the beginning, so you just have to keep in mind if there is not much interests and supports, or less than you hoped for. Usually a passion project has very little commercial value but sometimes it does appeals to wide number of audiences especially if it is unique or refreshing.
Game Recommendations
Language. I would suggest that you edit the language selection at the beginning of the game from
English to
English (Informal Non-Native Speaker) or something similar. At least it gives the player an idea of what to expect (not many will even read the OP to find out). I would also suggest that you work on (either by yourself or engaging with a professional writer/translator) a formal English translation (based of the Thai language which I think is the main and most accurate writing) for the game sometime later (probably when it is completed). The plus side is that you can continue to develop the game without worrying much about the writing. The downside is that you kinda have to do twice work (for 2 different
English translations). In the end, it is your game and how you want it to be. It is also good to update the OP about your plan regarding the
English translation.
'Segment'. I think this game fits into the (Kinetic) VN game category, so it will better if you can 'segment' your game into volumes, books, seasions, chapters, arcs, acts or episodes. Additionally, add a short title for each 'segment' that meant to hint at what kind of contents it will provide. The beginning of this game up until the morning MC meets with
Rina, is in line with a
Prologue. You can also then instead of saying next release is ... you can say next chapter is ... or next episode is ... etc.
Text Decorations. I believe the text decoration for dialogues need to be improved. Currently, there is very little visual difference between different intent of the dialogues. The MC's thoughts is in
italics but the difference is barely noticeable. I am not sure what is the best either perhaps changing the color and font face too? So far, it doesn't really problematic because the context can give player another clue about the dialogue intentions, but generally it is better if they are distinctly different.
'Prologue'. The 'Prologue' (the beginning of the game up until the morning where MC meet
Rina) is a bit too long and confusing to me although it has mystery to it. I honestly don't get much of it
and how it relates or matters to the rest of the game. Probably add a skip button that only show a screen of summarized important details will be appreciated by most players who are eager to get into the actions and meet the cute girls.
Harem. It is a good idea to explain what kind of harem that player can expect, that is it all the LIs or the player can choose the girls? Many players (especially of this site) prefers to be able to pick only the girls they like. Since this is your game, you don't have to change it to suit what people want but rather you have to explicitly describe what it is going to be.
Lewds. As you may have know, most (if not all) members of this site are only looking for lewd games so it is in your best interest to provide sufficient 'contents' that appeal to those audiences. However, how many or how frequent is entirely up to you and highly depends on the game narrative, and it is generally a bad idea to just add lewd scenes for no reason or justification.
Feedbacks.
Culture. I like it that the game have reference to your culture and heritage (Thai) mainly the foods and drinks. However, there is a funny scene at the Cafe because of lacking most suitable assets.
Visuals. The renders are pretty good for Koikatsu Party-based game and the girls are cute too.
Sounds. Musics are nice listening to. The voice overs are okay I guess, I am not a big fan of it generally (not just in this game). It is a selling point for sure since many VN games (on this site) don't even have music or sound in the first place.
Narratives. The game has
Ecchi Sensei vibes to it, similar in many aspects but the main difference are the MC lost his past memories and most of the characters are fantasy or mythical creatures other than humans. I guess this appeals to the fantasy genre fans more than anything. This game is story focused and character driven. There are plenty of female LIs, some have very distinct personality while others simply are not shown or developed yet (we will learn more about them in the future). The MC is basically will be dating his students while trying to figure out his past and uncover the lies that had been passed on as the truth to him.
Verdict: It is too early to give any concrete verdict but as per current content, I would say that I have a neutral feeling about this game. I am not disliking it but at the same time I am not that excited about it either. There are lot of mysteries to uncover and I hope that future contents add excitement to this game.
