Ren'Py Abandoned Trapped in Mysterious Lewd Island Remastered [v0.5.8] [cheezygirl]

3.40 star(s) 19 Votes

Who is your favourite 2 characters?


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anna94

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
1,052
Enjoyable game, free roam is fine as long as there is a hint system like harem hotel. Mythic manor, etc. Just got finished playing timeless island, free roam. No hint. Fun game, but took probably twice as long as it should have cause no fng idea what came next.
yea, i know the struggles. its not fun spending so much time finding the next progress.
I would put hint
Thanks for playing :)
 
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Crosaith.

Active Member
Nov 18, 2017
891
2,071
is free roam not likeable? the famous game like harem hotel, mythic manor, slyphine, and the awakening all are free roam
Personally, i add free roam now, because i would like give players the choice of which girls they would like to go for first, rather than a linear straight storyline. (since some people complained about no gameplay too)

if you dont like it, i will have an option to skip directly to the main storyline in future. (As the next main storyline is big and caused the situation to change, i would put it on hold first and produce more story for the girls. ) As you can see that the girls have done only a few challenges up until now)

Thank you for your suggestions. any more advise is always welcomed :) :)
I've been on this site a good while and have seen many games with promise go down hill and become abandoned due to switching to free roam. I think most people play these games for the story, characters and sex scenes. "Gameplay" like free roam/mini games are extra's that often make them worse.

If your set on free roam, I suggest you keep it simple and strait to the point. The less busy work and pixel hunting the better.
 

TheJayWang

Newbie
Game Developer
Jan 9, 2021
17
24
I suppose free roam is fine so long as there is a steady balance of plot development, spicy scenes, and incentive implemented intermittently between the evented locations. But you're right, it's dangerous as a distractor if it's too lengthy as a mechanic or starts to force the user to feel as if it's a "grind" rather than a natural inclusion in the game. But, I've seen it work, for sure.
 
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Rain90

Newbie
Oct 26, 2019
78
32
Thx for this constructive suggestion. I will try to correct it. But I can't do anything about the version 2.2.4 that I am gonna release in a few hours.
In version 2.2.5. I will definitely correct it.
Yea I need help with the script. English is not my native. Would you like to help ? XD
I would certainly have the time. Although I am completely oblivious to how you make these games, but if you had a script or something I could most definitely correct it and re write it. :)
 

phreakinowski

Member
Dec 1, 2017
259
322
I just wanted to take a moment to praise anna94 for how they are engaging with the suggestions being posted here. You really are taking constructive criticism incredibly well and the way your are actively engaging here deserves to be called out... so that's what I am doing. :) Seriously, I wish all devs had the same attitude you have. Keep it up and you will continue to improve your work and increase your supporters. I have not yet tried your game, but I am absolutely going to now because of what I have seen here with your active engagement of the community. Best of luck to your current and future games, I think you are going do really well.
 

Davewatch

Active Member
Jan 7, 2020
591
624
I would certainly have the time. Although I am completely oblivious to how you make these games, but if you had a script or something I could most definitely correct it and re write it. :)
you can always look at the script.rpyin the game folder but it is sometimes difficult to follow, especially if there are choice / optional outcomes.
 
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Rain90

Newbie
Oct 26, 2019
78
32
you can always look at the script.rpyin the game folder but it is sometimes difficult to follow, especially if there are choice / optional outcomes.
I will have to figure out how to do that :) I just download and play. Figured I would suggest a workover and agreed to help since I have a way with words.
 

anna94

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
1,052
I suppose free roam is fine so long as there is a steady balance of plot development, spicy scenes, and incentive implemented intermittently between the evented locations. But you're right, it's dangerous as a distractor if it's too lengthy as a mechanic or starts to force the user to feel as if it's a "grind" rather than a natural inclusion in the game. But, I've seen it work, for sure.
Dont worry, i won't put grind. if there is grind, there will be minimum to it

I would certainly have the time. Although I am completely oblivious to how you make these games, but if you had a script or something I could most definitely correct it and re write it. :)
Would definitely appreciate your help! how do i contact you? do you have discord? :)


I just wanted to take a moment to praise anna94 for how they are engaging with the suggestions being posted here. You really are taking constructive criticism incredibly well and the way your are actively engaging here deserves to be called out... so that's what I am doing. :) Seriously, I wish all devs had the same attitude you have. Keep it up and you will continue to improve your work and increase your supporters. I have not yet tried your game, but I am absolutely going to now because of what I have seen here with your active engagement of the community. Best of luck to your current and future games, I think you are going do really well.
Thank you so much for the compliment! it means alot to me! :)

Yes, i listened to critism as i think they are valuable information.
But the final decision still depends on me.
 
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yihman1

Knockout Master
May 11, 2017
3,109
10,828
I played your game, and have put a little bit of thought into it, and here is my advice / feedback for you to make improvements:

Graphics: You are doing a good job here. Your characters look original, they have a variety to them and you have some good sets. The animations are a nice bonus as well. This is probably your strongest point. Keep up the good work in these regards. This is what is carrying your game right now.

Coding: The coding is competent. I didn't notice any bugs. Coding is one of those things you don't really notice unless it fucks up. Someone made a walkthrough mod for your game that makes it easier on the player. That really helps.

Writing: This is where you are having trouble. If I'm going to be frank with you I'll just tell you it's not good. Basic spelling mistakes, poor grammar, missing punctuation and incorrect capitalization are ubiquitous. That's all rote learning, maybe you missed some English schooling, that's sad but there is a program to help with that. This portion of the writing could be fixed with a bit of proofreading, and there is a program that can help with that.

I would suggest picking up a copy of Grammarly here. It's like a like a little robotic helper for your proofreading process.

Inside my brain I see all of the proofreading mistakes, and do an auto pilot mentally. Unfortunately no such auto correct function is in my brain or any brain for that matter when it comes to fixing a story.

Your story is where I think a lot of the negative energy comes from. Top tier writing is always "Character driven" and not "Plot driven". You can toss in "Character driven vs plot driven story" into google, and get some long reads from different writers and their personal preference everyone adding their two cents a novel could be written about "Character driven vs plot driven." Still it would be incomplete.

You gotta try to find a balance between internal conflict and external conflict. If you take anything away from what I say here take just the following away:

Do not let your characters be just a punching bag for the plot. They can not just absorb what happens. They need to be an agent of change. They must be complete with a desire that drives their motives and a fear that slows them down or holds them back.

Characters are supposed to be the bearers of truth, value, and meaning to the reader.

I'm not saying do not have a plot, but rather to go beyond the plot.

When writing you must always ask yourself: "Why does this matter to the character?"
 

anna94

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
1,052
I played your game, and have put a little bit of thought into it, and here is my advice / feedback for you to make improvements:

Graphics: You are doing a good job here. Your characters look original, they have a variety to them and you have some good sets. The animations are a nice bonus as well. This is probably your strongest point. Keep up the good work in these regards. This is what is carrying your game right now.

Coding: The coding is competent. I didn't notice any bugs. Coding is one of those things you don't really notice unless it fucks up. Someone made a walkthrough mod for your game that makes it easier on the player. That really helps.

Writing: This is where you are having trouble. If I'm going to be frank with you I'll just tell you it's not good. Basic spelling mistakes, poor grammar, missing punctuation and incorrect capitalization are ubiquitous. That's all rote learning, maybe you missed some English schooling, that's sad but there is a program to help with that. This portion of the writing could be fixed with a bit of proofreading, and there is a program that can help with that.

I would suggest picking up a copy of Grammarly here. It's like a like a little robotic helper for your proofreading process.

Inside my brain I see all of the proofreading mistakes, and do an auto pilot mentally. Unfortunately no such auto correct function is in my brain or any brain for that matter when it comes to fixing a story.

Your story is where I think a lot of the negative energy comes from. Top tier writing is always "Character driven" and not "Plot driven". You can toss in "Character driven vs plot driven story" into google, and get some long reads from different writers and their personal preference everyone adding their two cents a novel could be written about "Character driven vs plot driven." Still it would be incomplete.

You gotta try to find a balance between internal conflict and external conflict. If you take anything away from what I say here take just the following away:

Do not let your characters be just a punching bag for the plot. They can not just absorb what happens. They need to be an agent of change. They must be complete with a desire that drives their motives and a fear that slows them down or holds them back.

Characters are supposed to be the bearers of truth, value, and meaning to the reader.

I'm not saying do not have a plot, but rather to go beyond the plot.

When writing you must always ask yourself: "Why does this matter to the character?"
Thx for the advise! Will definitely improve :D
 
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caxhub

Engaged Member
Aug 22, 2019
2,418
2,290
Download android v0.2.4 APK
P/s: Request Link Android Game at my
 

Challenge

Member
Donor
Aug 1, 2018
337
318
A lot of stories begin with the plot driving the main characters. Three examples are the Hitchcock classic, North By Northwest, and Enemy of the State or it's more lighthearted cousin, The Man With One Red Shoe. In each the character gets caught in a series of events that make no sense and with even less control. At some point in each the character takes over and starts driving the plot.

Your plot starts with the tried and true opening of the character being kidnapped without seeming rhyme nor reason. Well, except that he's now in a contest with bizarre rules and a lot of pretty reasons to avoid winning. You also built in a mystery: who kidnapped him; what are the motives; why was he chosen; where is the little bugger; how do I find him/her to say, "Thank you?"

'cause let's face it -- this is a really sweet deal.

It's good so far. I liked it enough to spend about five hours at Tortoise level DL speeds after my hard drive crashed so I can get back into it. Thanks for the update, by the way.
 
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anna94

Active Member
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Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
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A lot of stories begin with the plot driving the main characters. Three examples are the Hitchcock classic, North By Northwest, and Enemy of the State or it's more lighthearted cousin, The Man With One Red Shoe. In each the character gets caught in a series of events that make no sense and with even less control. At some point in each the character takes over and starts driving the plot.

Your plot starts with the tried and true opening of the character being kidnapped without seeming rhyme nor reason. Well, except that he's now in a contest with bazaar rules and a lot of pretty reasons to avoid winning. You also built in a mystery: who kidnapped him; what are the motives; why was he chosen; where is the little bugger; how do I find him/her to say, "Thank you?"

'cause let's face it -- this is a really sweet deal.

It's good so far. I liked it enough to spend a few hours at Tortoise level DL speeds after my hard drive crashed so I can get back into it. Thanks for the update, by the way.
You mean like an intro of the main character before he ends up in that island?
I skipped that, because i am afraid players would get bored of it and quit the game.
But i would probrably make it in future, like side story of how each character life is before they ended up there.

Thank you really much for playing my game. oh my god, a few hours, sorry.. i think someone posted a compression mod that is only 100mb

Sorry that the update is just short, i release short update every week, in case people wants to play it. I thought that might be better rather than just having it sitting in my computer.

Thanks for your passion. Right now, i will be working towards lighting and improving the graphic.
 
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faradhii

Active Member
Sep 8, 2019
797
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I wanted to vote for my favorite toons, but I'm bad with names and can't remember who is who :)
 

anna94

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
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Lancy = first girl, grey hair
Keisy = pink hair
Vivy = Green hair
Rin = Vivy's sister
Katie = trade points for sex
New girl = the latest girl
Bar maid = The bartender at the end of the game

:)
 
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anna94

Active Member
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Game Developer
Nov 22, 2020
869
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kinda wish i knew ahead of time this was going to be a sandbox kind of game.. sigh.
Dont worry guys. I dont plan to make a frustrating grind story game. its still a VN

my current plan:
-Doesnt require grinding. maybe just 2 times at max
-does show obvious hint (as i want the player to enjoy it as much as possible not just wasting their time)
Why i made it this way?
1) Instead of a linear storyline, player can get to choose which girl story they want to go first, and which girl story that they want to skip
2) The main story that i planned next is huge, and i have alot of ideas for side story. And some people says that my characters doesnt have storyline and the story is quite rushed.
Dont worry, u have the option to skip all side storyline if you dont want to see it in future.

thanks for playing my game, appreciate it.
 

Jeevant

Failed to make an unlimited money mod for my life
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May 1, 2020
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Time to test that final character stats product has finally come;):p
 
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3.40 star(s) 19 Votes