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This is a difficult post to write, and I've debated doing it. But there's a lot that I feel I need to share in order to be transparent and keep you all informed.
I am struggling.
This isn't specifically with TaH, but with all of what life demands of me. I've experienced burnout a few periods in life that's caused me to take radical shifts in my life/career. I've been adamant that I wouldn't fall victim to it again and I have been denying it (to myself mostly), but all the signs are there. I used to dedicate 70+ hours a week with TaH development, which is on top of regular life requirements (TaH is not my full-time job). Since March I've cut that number a bit, but I think the last 2 years have started to catch up with me. There's a handful of factors playing their part, including financials, health, and a list of other things that don't need details here.
What problems is it causing? It's mostly feelings of emptiness and being overwhelmed. It saps all my creativity. I feel blank, useless, and I want to "check out" from all responsibility. I can stare at the screen and all intentions of what I wanted to write or the visuals I wanted to create vanish.
While making the first two episodes, and a large part of the third one, visualizing how everything would advance and play out was very easy for me. But this has not been happening during my work on Ep4 and is my largest warning flag.
When I started TaH, one of the biggest promises to myself was that I would not put myself in a position where I can be accused of milking my project, audience, and supporters. And currently I find my situation to appear dangerously close to that, and so I am forced to speak up.
There's also a second reason why I decided to open up about this now. Perhaps it'll be a form of therapy for myself. Maybe making you all aware of my struggles will spark something in my brain. Maybe I'll hold myself more responsible and accountable. Maybe it'll help me to squash whatever blocks are holding me back.
It's important that I specify I'm not asking for help, or pity, or encouragement. I'm not asking for anything. If you still feel inclined to do any of that, I will receive it gratefully. But I am not out here seeking attention for my problems; I normally keep my troubles to myself and am okay handling it in silence. I understand my laundry list of issues are not as severe as others may have, but they are crippling nonetheless. I will find a way to deal with them, as I always have.
Now that I've gotten all of that off my chest, I must clarify something. I am continuing production of TaH to its completion, as I've promised in the past. Nothing outside my power is stopping me from doing so right now. I am not going into hiding; I will still be available through Discord and I don't foresee any changes in how I engage with everyone. So please do not take this as an announcement that you are disturbing me with your messages! It's quite the opposite; I love being able to talk back with you, even if I'm sometimes busy and slow to respond.
This entire post was me convincing myself to take action by admitting my problems, and now I can't secretly hide from them anymore. I've told myself I will need to take a few days in the near future to completely detach from my computer and clean up around home just so my environment feels more organized, and I feel my brain will benefit from that. It's possible there may not be any update/content/promo release next week if that happens.
But I won't end this without giving you at least a little info about Ep4. Right now I'm going through a reorganization of the outline. There were some plotlines I was overlooking and may need to structure things differently. Once again, it comes down to me creating order from all this chaos.
Lastly, I'm super thankful for everyone who has helped support me with donations and subs. I can't say this enough. TaH wouldn't have gotten as far as it has without it. (Seriously. I know it's a small amount compared to the hours I've put in, but I'd be in such a money hole without it.) But if you ever feel like I'm not delivering on my end, then don't feel obligated to support financially. Don't let me unintentionally take advantage of you. I very much want our relationship to be mutually beneficial.
Thank you for reading this far. And above all else, take care of yourselves.
-ckr
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'Psycho Ex-Girlfriend' subscribers may request one custom render each month. Yes, you're crazy, but I'm thankful for the support!
The Sound of Serenity -- Emily [VNWhiteKnight]
Trapped -- Sierra [Callisto]
- Jan 1, 2024
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- Jul 25, 2017
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id be guessing winter that sounds way to soon unless its a shorter episode or something
that render of Sierra. now that is what we would call Poetic Justice...
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Explore the allure and beauty of your heritage
Just discovered this game today and wow; I haven't been this hooked on a game since I discovered Being a DIK. So much content already and I enjoyed all of it. Love the characters, love the story, can't wait to see where we're going with it.
Stacy is probably going to be mad that I fucked her sister, but what can you do?
Definitely going to support this one on Patreon.
Stacy is probably going to be mad that I fucked her sister, but what can you do?
Definitely going to support this one on Patreon.
- Jan 1, 2024
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Is it only me that is having issues with the skip function?
I'm able to save my progress and load it afterwards but after I close the game I get the intro as I'm launching for the first time and all scenes become unseen, which kinda sucks when I want to restart and try other paths.
Thanks already if someone knows what's going on
I'm able to save my progress and load it afterwards but after I close the game I get the intro as I'm launching for the first time and all scenes become unseen, which kinda sucks when I want to restart and try other paths.
Thanks already if someone knows what's going on
anyone have recommendation for games similar to this in terms of plotline and characterization?
i really like this game and want to play more like this.
i really like this game and want to play more like this.
I don't know which games you already played, but I would say Intertwined would be a pretty good one for you. Summer heat is slightly different but belongs to the same genre and is one of my top pics
Never noticed anything like that. But it sounds like your persistent data is not being created/saved. Part of that keeps track of dialogue you've seen before, as well as determining if you see the Mark Intro when you start up the game.
I'm not sure what would be causing the problem. Maybe there isn't proper Write Permissions for the folder that holds the persistent data? I don't think I can't really help with this issue...
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Split Personality -- Kim [VNWhiteKnight]
Private Investigation -- Stacy [Callisto]
- Mar 8, 2017
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This is one of my favorite games here. I need Jess content ASAP. if we get to cuck Mark, it will be my number one game ever! 
- Jul 25, 2017
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#FuckMark he is such a annoying friend probably the most annoying one ive seen but everything else is greatThis is one of my favorite games here. I need Jess content ASAP. if we get to cuck Mark, it will be my number one game ever!